Bloody Kisses (15 page)

He rubbed his eyes. “Of course it’s okay.”

The sad part was she was exactly right. He’d had no idea what to do after their date and so he left instructions with what to send and what to put on the card. But, she wasn’t a roses girl. He could tell last night. Constantia had loved them. Their homes had been decorated from floor to ceiling in them all the time. It was what he knew how to do.

“I don’t want you to feel like I’m not grateful. I am. But, I don’t want you to think you have to send me flowers. You don’t.”

Essence kept throwing him off his game. “Purple carnations. I bet you’d like them.”

She laughed. “Actually, I would. Purple carnations. I love them.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t send you a dozen tomorrow. See you at nine?”

“Yes, I’ll be ready. In my jeans. I hope that’s okay. I have to get to a laundromat.”

He was going to rethink the whole evening.

They got off the phone, and he started brainstorming. What should he do with her in jeans on Halloween night at nine o’clock in Manhattan? Did he even own jeans?

The phone rang again. She must have forgotten something. He grinned. Phone calls. He could get used to this. Maybe she could start calling around two in the afternoon. It would almost be like he could leave the house.

“Hi.” He smiled when he answered.

“Hi?” The sound of Benyamin’s amused voice travelled the line instead of Essence’s. He sat back down on the steps.

“Oh, Benyamin. I thought you were someone else.” The day felt long again, which didn’t make sense since he’d always admired Benyamin and sought his council. “How are you this afternoon?” They were in the same time zone for a change. “You’re also up before sunset.”

He walked to the window and peered around the drapes to see the sun still up in the sky. Alec knew why he was awake, but what had roused Benyamin so early?

“You’ve been on my mind. You and the girl with Constantia’s soul.”

“I saw her last night.”

Benyamin took a moment to answer. “And? How did it go?”

“I actually had a very good time. She’s a very beautiful, kind, smart, sweet girl. She and Constantia seem to share a love of ballet. Other than that, they have nothing in common. One dinner taught me that Essence has quite a backbone. She says what she needs and what she wants. She’s not a fearful person. I admire her.”

There was nothing harder than turning your back on your family. He knew it quite well. His father had driven him so insane, they’d finally had a rip roaring fight that had ended when they’d both been attacked and turned into vampires. He still didn’t speak to his father all these centuries later. Benyamin did and he occasionally got an update, even though he never asked for one.

All Essence had asked of them was to respect her need to dance.

“Her soul came back to you for some reason. When it happened to me…”

He interrupted. “You didn’t mention this happened to you.”

“It’s a rather personal time, and one I don’t let myself think of them very often. I lost my wife and then she came in the form of another. It wasn’t to be in love with me again. She needed something. I was able to help her. That, was why. Ask yourself. Why would she have come back to you?”

He took a deep breath. “I’m not going to lie. I would love romance with Essence. She is beautiful and sweet. And a million more things. But, as for what she needs from me? Well, I think she needs to move. Immediately. She practically lives in a hovel. She might need a doctor. I think I could help her in many ways.”

“Then get to it and let her go. She’s a human. Unless you’ve started changing them in the seclusion of that monstrosity you live in, then you know better than to get involved with humans for anything other than food. Help her and then let her live her life. That is my best advice.”

The phone call disconnected. They weren’t much for pleasantries anymore, if they ever had been. He supposed Benyamin’s advice was as close to an order as anyone would ever give him. He was their unofficial leader by virtue of living the longest and never having tried to kill himself. Most people credited him with taking them from raving monsters to quasi-controlled monster-esque creatures of the night. Alec leaned back on his elbows.

Leave her alone? Find out what she needed and then let her go on her way? He’d admit that when he took her to dinner it was to see how she was like his Constantia. But now he wanted to know more about Essence herself. He genuinely enjoyed her.

But maybe Benyamin was correct. What business did he have inserting his monster into her life? She hadn’t asked for this, hadn’t sought him out other than to come to his house to do her job.

The monster roared to life.
Blood.
His mouth watered and his fangs descended. It always came down to the blood. The only reason that he knew she shared Constantia’s soul was that he attacked her. Or would have, if she hadn’t already tripped down the stairs.

He needed to feed, and then he would visit her for the last time. Alec would figure out what she needed and get it for her. Then he’d stay out of her life.

Perhaps, if there was a life for him after this one, then her soul would find his again in a place and a way they could actually be together.

He jumped to his feet. His town could have revitalized if he’d let it. There were always people willing to try. Real estate was in abundance. Developers would have a field day. But, he’d kept them away. He owned everything in the whole town. The only people who lived here had family who worked for time immemorial. They volunteered for the job of feeding him. It made things simpler, yet it didn’t satisfy the monster.

The monster wanted to chase.

Even telling his people to run was only slightly satisfying. He’d caught them so frequently it was downright boring.

He’d take a dull meal to safely see Essence for the last time.

Even if his monster disagreed.

* * *

H
e couldn’t remember
the last time he’d sat in a park and people watched. He’d dressed in the most comfortable pair of black pants he owned and a black t-shirt. The sad truth was his closet held very little else.

Dark colors to live through the dark night alone.

Essence pointed at one of the street performers. Apparently Halloween was a night where people came out to show off their talents on a regular basis. Essence giggled at something one of the clowns did.

“You know, there’s lots of people who find clowns frightening. They hide their faces and their true intentions.”

She eyed him, a grin playing on her face. “At least they’re honest. I think most people hide the monster within.”

Her phrasing caught him short. He shouldn’t be surprised. His head was half caught up in trying to figure out what to do about getting her to move. Could she suddenly come into some money with the stipulation she had to use a portion of it every month for her living arrangements?

He turned to her. “Do you think most people have a monster?”

“I know that I do.” She pulled out her wallet, which had seen better days, as the leather peeled in places. She grabbed a dollar and put it in a dish the clown had out for tips. He narrowed his eyes. Her wallet wasn’t very full. She had a good job, but if he had to guess, she had things to pay off before she could feel a little bit more secure financially. Yes, that he was going to fix for her, fast.

He stopped himself from touching her. To put his arm around her like he had the night before would be the most natural thing in the world. Yet, he couldn’t allow it. Not if he was going to disappear from her notice.

The second he touched her, he was done for.

“You can’t have a monster in you. Essence, you radiate goodness.”

“Yeah, well. Gosh, I have some pretty weird dreams at night. My mama used to try to beat them out of me. But it’s all blood, all the time. Vampires. Since I met you, I’ve been casting you into the whole role, too. I must have a monster in there somewhere.”

His heart turned over. There were parts of Constantia she carried with her, and she had no idea. Her mother had tried to beat it out of her. The woman was lucky she was not present or he’d take a stick to her she wouldn’t quickly forget.

The monster roared. Whenever he thought of violence, it became hard to contain him.

“What are the dreams about?”

She groaned. “The most recent one involved the two of us—well, it was you, but not me. I was in the role of a beautiful woman, dark haired, perfectly coifed. She didn’t stumble—although, to be fair, I never did when I danced. Everywhere else, yes. Anyway, we were at the opera seeing The Firebird when it first came out. Then there was vampirism in a dark alley. Drinking blood. Other things.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I shouldn’t have told you this. Are you horrified?”

“Essence,” he couldn’t touch her with his hands, so he waited until she opened her lids to regard him. “You’re a lovely, sweet woman. As beautiful as any I’ve ever known.” He meant the words he spoke. “I wish you didn’t have those dreams. I wish they would leave you alone. I would do anything to spare you. It’s okay for you to let them go. It’s okay for you to never dream of blood again.”

He would wish that for her, more than anything.

H
e never called
. He never sent roses again—although she wasn’t surprised about that, considering she had told him not to. For Essence, it was like Alec had never existed at all. Her body felt tight, as though her brain was fuzzy. What had she done that night in the park to make him not interested anymore?

She rubbed her eyes. Maybe it was what she
hadn’t
done. The whole virginity thing. She had no idea how to either seduce a man or how to respond to what might or might not be advances. She’d probably done something terribly wrong.

Essence grabbed her bag. She needed coffee and massive amounts of it, fast.

Over the last few weeks, whenever she was outside she had the strangest feeling that she was being followed. There was never a moment when she could put her finger on why, just like she had an itch on the back on her neck, as though someone watched her, someone followed. But when she’d turn around, there would be no one there.

Inside, she was fine—yet the second she ventured out into the world outside four walls, that feeling would start again.

The coffee place around the corner had a line. She stood in it patiently. If someone stalked her, they would be bored out of their mind watching her buy her daily dose of caffeine and quietly obsess over a guy she’d had two dates with three weeks earlier. This spoke to how completely ridiculous she was. Who had so little experience with men that the one guy who dated them exactly twice wrecked them for weeks?

She ordered her coffee and stepped back onto the street. Her neck itched. Someone watched her. She sighed. This was Manhattan. There were hundreds of people around at all times. At any given moment, someone could be staring at her.

Essence sipped her coffee. It was bitter, which matched her mood. This was why she never dated. She wasn’t smart when it came to…

She never saw the taxi coming when it plowed into her.

She never felt a thing.

* * *

A
lec woke up slowly
, as he had nearly every day since becoming a vampire. Another night, endless darkness alone in the vast wasteland of the universe that would never again have color in it. He swung the blanket off his body. Although his body stopped all function during most of the day light hours, he insisted on sleeping on the best sheets and blankets.

His monster was close tonight. He’d have to feed a lot and it even might behoove him to leave

his town and go stalk someone in a park somewhere. He wouldn’t kill, but, he might play a bit. Giving the monster that much might silence the blood lust.

The phone rang, which jarred him. No one had phoned since Essence called last night . He hadn’t exactly felt like talking to anyone. In fact, he could go years without actually needing to converse.

Holding back the monster and feeding was a full time job. What had he been thinking, going on dates and pretending he could be normal?

He picked up the line, half expecting to hear someone asking him if he wanted to change long distance carriers, although it had been a long time since that happened. “Hello?”

“Sir…” He recognized the voice of Richard Digger, the man he’d hired to keep track of Essence. His company had been paid to follow her around whenever she was outside. It was going to take some time to get her the money she needed to move—hidden properly so she never knew who sent it.

“What’s happened?” Had she been mugged on the street? Had her apartment been robbed? Did she trip again?

His gaze tracked to the window. The sun was down. He could leave the house.

“A cab jumped the curb and hit her. She’s very severely injured. I called 911 and the ambulance came. They’re not sure she’s going to make it.”

The monster roared for blood, and Alec tamed him down. “You did just say she wasn’t dead, yes?”

“Not yet.”

His fangs ached. He would have to stop to feed on the way to the hospital. He’d have no choice. Essence would not die tonight and, when she awoke, she’d be given a choice.

One no one had ever offered him.

Alec didn’t remember getting to the hospital. He must have fed—he felt in control but he had no memory of the act. Sometimes that was the way vampirism went. If the Monster took the driver’s seat, he often didn’t remember it. Hopefully, he didn’t kill anyone. He held better control—usually. The occasional lapse did happen.

The truth was that he wouldn’t even suffer remorse. Those were human emotions and guilt for death when he was in a moment like this one simply didn’t happen.

Light beamed down on him and the stink of the hospital—the disinfectant, the dying, the sick—he hated the whole place. Essence wouldn’t remain here very long. Staff moved around him like the parting of the Red Sea as he passed. They wouldn’t even realize they’d done so. Most of them wouldn’t remember they’d ever seen him at all.

The beauty of his monster…

He rounded the corner, following her scent. Machines beeped and something looked like it breathed for her. Her pale skin and closed eyes caught his attention. She was alive, but barely. If he left her alone, she wouldn’t make it through the night. Death was his friend; he knew her ways. She’d kill Essence before the evening was over.

Standing there, he almost didn’t move forward. He almost let her die. The humane thing to do would be to allow her to move on. Only, he wasn’t human, and he didn’t want to.

Alec lifted his wrist to his mouth, letting his fangs descend. He bit down hard on his vein, letting the blood flow out onto his arm. Her mouth was covered, he couldn’t get his blood into Essence’s mouth but that wasn’t his plan to begin with. Instead, he took her IV that fed her whatever the human doctors thought she needed.

With one hand, he tugged the end not attached to Essence and let his blood drip into it. Once it reached her, it wouldn’t take long to work. She’d suddenly feel better. Alive enough to tell him if she wanted more. It would take a great deal more to become a vampire. Otherwise, she would die from her injuries.

But it would be her choice. Or at least that’s how he’d justify his actions later.

The second her lungs were capable of taking in air, he unhooked her from her machines. Alarms would go off but he didn’t care. He was fast and they’d never catch him. As though it was the most normal thing in the world, he carried Essence from the hospital. What he had done, he’d never be able to undo now.

* * *

E
ssence woke with a gasp
. Her heart was in her throat, and she searched for air. For a full ten seconds, she had no idea where she was or how she got there. Eventually, she recognized Alec’s room, the one she had changed her clothes in before she fell down the stairs. The sun shone through the windows. It was the middle of the day, and she had no idea how or when she’d arrived in his home.

What the hell was going on?

She slipped out of the white sheets. Her body felt tight, sore like she’d danced for too long, and her head pounded. The last thing she remembered was coffee, the feeling of being watched and then…nothing.

Essence looked down at herself. She wore a white nightgown with Duran Duran on the front. Somehow, she’d gotten back into the clothes of the woman Alec had once taken care of. Again, the how and why bothered her.

She pushed open the door to the room and made her way into the hall. The house was quiet—it had been the last time, too—but this time felt different. It was as though the house held its breath.

“Gosh, you are really getting into the absurd, aren’t you?” She shook her head. Whatever had happened, she needed food first so she could think. With a general idea of where the kitchen should be she explored the house.

Alec would show up sometime soon. This was his house, after all. He’d have to explain to her how she got here. And then maybe he could tell her why he never called again.

God, she’d really become such a girly-girl.

The kitchen was a really sad experience. There was a bottle of peanut butter in the pantry and some jelly in the fridge. There was, however, no bread. Since those two things seemed to be her only choices to eat—did Alec ever eat at home?—she grabbed a spoon and made a peanut butter, jelly combination that she put directly in her mouth.

Two bites and she spit it out into the sink. There was something wrong with the peanut butter, something wrong with the jelly. It all tasted wrong. She didn’t know if there was a downstairs bathroom but she managed to run back to the room she’d woken up in to vomit into the toilet. Her head spun. When the retching was done, she crawled back to the bed.

Something was wrong with her. Something very wrong.

She closed her eyes.

The woman who she always saw in the ballet dream was there. Only she wasn’t at the ballet. Instead, she sat on a bed. The room was purple but filled practically to the brim with red roses. The gorgeous woman grabbed one of them and smelled it before discarding it and wandering out of the room.

Alec stood talking to Benyamin. The woman rolled her eyes. She was so horribly bored. Alec was always busy these days—busy, busy, busy—talking about boring, boring, boring things. It had been this way since they’d arrived in America. Hiding from the hunters wasn’t glamorous, and the only way she could survive as a vampire was to keep it wonderful.

This was not what she had in mind.

Benyamin laughed at something Alec said. Something was amusing? They’d said something funny and left her out of it?

In what world did that happen?

She sauntered over to them, leaning against Alec’s arm. “Hello, gentlemen. What happens tonight?”

Benyamin sighed loudly. “Nothing, unfortunately. We’ve got to stay in. Alec and I will go feed. I know, this isn’t fun, but they are becoming more organized. An entire clan of vampires was killed last week. We’re not taking any risks.”

Alec kissed her head. “I’m sorry, my beloved. Your safety comes first.”

But. She. Was. Bored.

* * *

A
lec woke quickly
. He threw the blankets off his body and jumped out of bed. For once, the need to feed seemed distant, his attention focused on Essence. She was in bed, but she hadn’t remained there. The smell of how awful she felt wafted toward him. He could also scent peanut butter and jelly. He gagged. Alec should have anticipated she would think she should have food.

Nothing but chicken broth and vegetable soup would stay in her stomach for any length of time. She might be able to keep down meat if it was raw. The peanut butter and jelly that one of the humans who worked for him left there must have made her incredibly sick.

He’d considered having one of the people who worked for him there when she roused, since he knew he’d be all but dead to the world, but dismissed the idea quickly. They might terrify her. She needed to be calm, to hear him out, to decide rationally if she wanted to stay in the dark night with him or move on.

He made his way quickly to her side. Placing his hand on her, he knew right away she was feverish. Alec was always cold unless he’d recently fed, but he could tell she was too hot.