Blowing on Dandelions (24 page)

His features hardened. “So he did discuss me with you.” It wasn’t a question, but a flat-out declaration, and not one he appeared to appreciate.

She shook her head. “Nothing negative. Just that he’d had occasion to ask about your plans and to express his concern for your future.”

“I do not want your pity, Katherine.” The words were stark. Blunt.

Katherine blinked.
Your pity.
He’d made it quite personal. She pushed up from her chair and went to stand at the window, looking out into the dark and weighing her words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She kept her back to him, not even certain he’d heard her words.

The room was silent for a minute. Then a step sounded behind her. “You didn’t hurt me. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

She turned and gazed up into his concerned green eyes. He reached out and touched her hair, then let his hand settle tenderly on her shoulder. Tingles stole down her arm and she smiled, not wanting to move, not caring to break the tenderness. Praying it would last a little bit longer.

“Katherine.” The word slipped out on a sigh. He drew her toward him and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

A woodsy fragrance tickled her nostrils. She relaxed against him, savoring the moment and the gentle strength of his arms. It had been too long since she’d been held like this, and it seemed like a small touch of heaven. Her cheek lay against the rough fabric of his shirt and somehow her arms had crept around his waist.

“This feels right. I’m not sure if it is or not, but I don’t want to let go.” He touched her chin and tipped it up.

She held her breath, wondering if he would kiss her, and praying he might. But deep inside she knew Micah was too much of a gentleman to kiss a woman without some type of commitment. Yet his hug ignited a fire in her soul, even if he didn’t take it any further.

“Maybe I am presuming too much, but I want you to know that I am starting to care for you.”

Her heart leapt at his declaration. “And I for you, Micah. I think I’ve been feeling it for a while now, but wasn’t certain you felt the same.”

“That’s good. I’ve been worried it was pity instead.”

She shook her head, surprised at his words. “Never. I admire so much about you.”

He stroked her hair, then traced a finger from her cheek to the corner of her mouth, his gaze resting there. “I’d best be careful. It’s been a long time since I held a woman like this, and I don’t want to do something I shouldn’t. Besides, we have our children to consider.”

His touch sent a wave of longing coursing through her body, but his words were like a dash of cold water on her hot cheeks. “Micah, I’m not sure a relationship between us is wise—not if there’s a chance Lucy and Zachary are interested in one another. Our children’s welfare must come first.”

Micah bobbed his head. No words came—but the intense look filling his eyes as they held hers for another long moment said it all. “We will consider that. But there’s something I must do before you go.” He bent over and touched his lips to her cheek, just an inch or so from her lips, then placed another on the other side, lingering for a moment. “I’ll not take advantage again, Katherine, and I hope you’ll forgive me for being so bold.”

She closed her eyes, afraid to look at him. More than anything she’d wanted to turn her head a fraction and allow her lips to meet his. She stayed still for a minute longer, not trusting herself to move deeper into his embrace, her desire was so strong.

“Ma!” Lucy’s high-pitched shriek filled the room. “I can’t believe you are kissing Mr. Jacobs!”

Katherine jumped back, one hand flying to cover her pounding heart.

Zachary’s mirthless laugh followed Lucy’s words. “And
they
have been scolding
us
about you teaching me to dance and spending time alone together. Ha.” He threw his father an angry look. “You are a hypocrite, Pa.” He took a step backward, then dashed to the door.

A shadow loomed over Lucy, and Mama stepped into the soft glow of the kerosene lamplight, glaring at Katherine. “I cannot say I disagree with the boy.” She swung toward Micah. “I have been holed up in my sickbed and come out to find you sparking my daughter in the dark. A fine example you are setting for your young ones.”

Lucy backed toward the doorway. “You aren’t my pa and you never will be, no matter how many times you kiss Ma.” She ran, leaving silence cloaking the room.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Micah’s heart was ready to explode as Katherine fled after her daughter. So many emotions swirled inside that it was hard to separate one from another. He couldn’t believe how close he’d come to smothering her with kisses—how desperately he’d wanted to—and what fierce control it had taken to resist. Her demeanor told him it wouldn’t have offended her, and the way she’d leaned into his embrace spoke volumes about her own desire.

Part of his mind revolted at the idea that they were being selfish. He wanted to race after Katherine and assure her that Lucy and Zachary would be fine, whatever they decided to do, but his heart kept his feet planted firmly on the floor, unmoving. They were parents first and foremost, and nothing should come ahead of their children’s well-being. But why did it have to hurt so much? First he’d lost Emma, and now that he’d discovered Katherine cared for him as well, it about killed him to let her go.

He needed to find his son and explain, but first he had to deal with the woman who stood at the edge of the lamplight glaring over the top of her spectacles. He gritted his teeth, trying to contain his emotions. “Mrs. Cooper, I’m afraid you got the wrong idea about what you saw tonight.”

“I do not think so, young man. It is quite clear what you are after.”

“I beg your pardon, ma’am? I’m not after anything.”

“Balderdash. Of course you are. You lost your own place of business and home, and you see the perfect opportunity to walk in here and take over what Katherine’s built up for herself and her children.” Her glare intensified even further. “But you have met your match, Mr. Jacobs. You will not be taking advantage of anyone while I am alive to keep it from happening.”

“I care for your daughter, Mrs. Cooper.”

“And I do not choose to believe that, Mr. Jacobs. Now, good night to you.” She headed for the door, then swiveled to drill him with her gaze once again. “And if you know what is good for you, you will find another place to live as soon as you can.”

Katherine raced up the stairs after her daughter, gripping the banister with one hand and raising the hem of her skirt with the other. The last thing she needed was to twist her ankle or fall on the stairs, adding injury to the upset of being accosted downstairs by her daughter and mother.

Part of her raged against the injustice of the judgment Zachary, Lucy, and Mama had delivered, while the other part shriveled with embarrassment at having been caught in Micah’s embrace. How could she explain that to her daughter when she didn’t fully understand it herself yet?

It was all too new, too tender and fresh. She’d had no time to analyze her feelings after the near kiss they’d shared. The kiss she’d wanted more than she cared to admit.

She reached the top of the stairs and paused. What would she do if Lucy asked her about her sentiment where Micah was concerned?

A sudden thought hit her. She’d left Mama down there with Micah, and Mama looked fit to be tied. It was becoming more obvious her mother didn’t care for Micah, and Katherine sickened at the thought of what that might mean for her future. Mama planned on making the boardinghouse her permanent home and with her not-so-subtle dislike, which she rarely kept covered, Katherine couldn’t imagine how anything lasting could develop between herself and Micah.

She wanted to rush back down the stairs and step between them but stopped herself. Lucy was her priority right now. Micah was an adult; he’d have to fend for himself. And she needed to trust God with their future. But she still released a small groan at what Micah faced downstairs. Somehow she doubted he’d had many encounters that prepared him for dealing with Mama.

Katherine stopped outside Lucy’s door and tapped. She hadn’t expected an answer but tried again. “Lucy? I’d like to come in.”

The door cracked open, and Mandy peered out, her eyes round and worried. “Lucy’s on her bed crying. What’s wrong with her, Ma?”

Katherine swooped the little girl into her arms. “She’s sad about something, but she’s going to be all right. How would you like to sleep with me tonight, sugarplum?”

Mandy squealed and bounced in her arms. “Yes, yes, yes!” She suddenly stilled and cast a look toward the bed on the far side of the room. “Can Lucy come too?”

“Not this time, honey. I need to talk to Lucy. Would you take your nightdress and go to my room? I can help you when I get there if you need me to.” She set her younger daughter on her feet.

“No.” Mandy shook her head. “I don’t need help. I’m old enough to do it myself. Can I get under the covers and wait for you there? And can I take my dolly with me?”

“Of course.” Katherine plucked Mandy’s nightdress from the wardrobe hook and held it out. Mandy carefully draped it over her arm and tucked her doll under the other. “I’ll stay awake till you get there, Ma.”

“All right, sweetie.” She kissed the girl’s pink cheeks and watched her walk from the room.

Sobs continued from underneath the covers.

“Lucy?” Katherine halted by the bed. “We need to talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Please go away.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I’ll stay here all night if I have to. We are going to talk. Mandy has gone to my room for the night, so we’re alone.”

“Where’s Grandma and Zachary?” The blanket muffled the words, but Lucy’s head didn’t poke out.

The question sent a stab through Katherine’s heart. She had no idea where the boy had disappeared to and hated to consider what her mother might be doing or saying. “I’m sure they’re fine. Mr. Jacobs will talk to Zachary, and your grandmother is probably back in her room by now. I imagine she came down for a cup of warm milk before heading to bed.”

Lucy threw off the blanket. “No, ma’am. She walked down the stairs behind me and said she was coming to check on you, because you hadn’t been upstairs for such a long time.”

“Figures.” Katherine muttered the word.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing important. Will you sit up, please?” Katherine perched on the edge of the bed and waited for Lucy to scoot up against the pillows. “I’m sorry for upsetting you.” She still hadn’t decided exactly what to say but sensed her daughter needed to hear an apology, at the very least. The girl had been shocked at the scene she’d walked in on, even if nothing improper had happened.

“Why were you kissing Mr. Jacobs?” Her voice rose. “That was awful, Ma. He’s Zachary’s pa, and Zachary is my best friend. How could you do that?”

“We weren’t kissing, Lucy. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, that’s all.”

“That’s not what it looked like to me.” She narrowed her eyes. “Are you lying to me?”

Katherine straightened, shocked at how closely her daughter’s words echoed her own from a few days before. “Is that what you think?”

“I don’t know what to think.” Lucy smoothed out the sheet beneath her trembling fingers. “You didn’t believe me when I told you nothing happened in Zachary’s room, and I was only teaching Zachary to dance.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. Mr. Jacobs told me. It was wrong of me to jump to conclusions and not listen to you.”

“But why did you? It’s not like I’ve ever given you a reason to not trust me. You acted like we did something terrible.”

Katherine wondered how much to say. Honesty would serve her best. “You’re old enough to understand, and I suppose I should have explained before this, considering.”

“Considering what?” Lucy raised tear-dampened lashes and peered up at her.

“Your age, and the fact that you could be seriously interested in a young man.”

Lucy heaved a sigh. “Ma.”

“All right. But you’re old enough that your feelings could become more before long.”

“I thought we were talking about you.”

Katherine placed two fingers under Lucy’s chin and raised it an inch. “No. Right now we’re talking about you; then we’ll get back to me. You asked why I didn’t trust you and didn’t listen, and I’m going to explain. Part of it has to do with your age, and part of it has to do with me.” Her stomach did a somersault, but she pressed forward. “I was only fifteen when I first met your father. Almost sixteen, but not quite.”

“Really?” Lucy perked up at the mention of her pa. “I didn’t know that.”

“Yes, and it didn’t take me long before I knew I was falling for him. Hard.”

A dreamy smile covered Lucy’s face. “Pa was easy to love.”

“Yes, he was. But we were alone one time when Grandma wasn’t home, and things got a little out of hand.” How much detail should she give to a girl her daughter’s age? Yet she’d gone this far. In for a penny, in for a pound. “We weren’t betrothed yet, and I let him kiss me. In fact, Mama had barely given us permission to court, and I wasn’t to be alone with him.”

“But he kissed you anyway?” Lucy’s brows scrunched together. “When Grandma said he couldn’t?”

“She didn’t
exactly
say he couldn’t kiss me, but I knew it was wrong.”

Lucy shrugged. “He kissed you one time. You ended up marrying him. So it doesn’t matter, right?”

“It was more than one time. He kissed me that once, then a second time, then a third, and before long, it was hard to stop. I got so swept up in the desire of the moment that I didn’t want to stop. Your father was three years older than me, almost nineteen at the time, and very much a man. I’m afraid he didn’t want to stop, either.”

Lucy’s mouth formed an O. “What happened?”

Katherine entwined her fingers in her lap. “Thankfully, nothing, because we heard the front door open, and Mama arrived. I jumped back, straightened my hair, and sat on a chair across the room.”

“Did Grandma find out?”

“No, she never did.”

“Then why does it matter now? What does that have to do with me teaching Zachary to dance in his room?”

“Because of what could have happened between your father and me. We didn’t plan that first kiss, or the second or third or fourth. We didn’t plan to get so swept up in passion that neither of us wanted to stop at kissing.”

A blush rose into Lucy’s cheeks. “Ma. That’s disgusting.”

Katherine smiled. “No, honey, it’s perfectly natural. But it gives me hope that you still think of it that way.”

Lucy wrinkled her nose. “You don’t need to worry about me. I still don’t see why you’re telling me this.”

“You were alone and unchaperoned in Zachary’s room, and from what I could tell you’d just stepped out of his arms. I had no idea how long you’d been there, or what had happened. My thoughts immediately went to your father and me, and how close we’d come to crossing a very important line. In fact, we did cross a line, as we weren’t married or even promised to one another.”

She prayed her daughter would understand. “Kisses and physical affection should be saved for the person you know you’re going to marry. Even then, you only give them after a commitment to marriage has been made. It’s not right or proper to allow those types of liberties during a courtship. And anything beyond a kiss or two should be saved for marriage. Does that make sense?”

Lucy nodded slowly. “I think so. You were afraid I was kissing Zachary when we weren’t courting or betrothed, is that right?”

“Yes, exactly.” Katherine smiled, thrilled that Lucy appeared to accept her explanation.

Lucy’s brows lowered. “Then you and Mr. Jacobs must be betrothed, ’cause he was kissing you when I walked in.”