Blue Fire and Ice (7 page)

‘Oops, sorry, Grunge.’ The jester licked her ice cream. ‘Banana, blueberry and strawberry. My favourites.’

‘Hello, Japes,’ said Grunge. ‘Don’t forget you’re going to help me practise later.’

‘I haven’t forgotten, Grunge, though I’m afraid I won’t be much use. I only know one rhythm on the drum and only one tune on the trumpet.’

‘That’s a great start, Japes! I’ve always wanted to be able to play even one!

‘Oh, Grunge, I have a new joke! Let me tell it to you,’ exclaimed Japes with great enthusiasm.

Grunge smiled and nodded. ‘OK, Japes. I’d love to hear it.’

Japes took a deep breath. Just as she was about to begin, she noticed her ice cream. A yellow trickle was running down the cone and was approaching her bright red glove. Her tongue flicked out and averted the disaster just in time.

‘Right,’ she said. ‘Now, it goes like this. And don’t worry if it isn’t funny. I’ll tell you when to laugh.’

Grunge nodded again.

‘OK. Now, a man and a dog and an octopus walk into Home’s coffee house. Well, it may not have been Home’s, but I think that adds a familiar touch to the joke. And besides, then I can have Whist in the joke and I like Whist and I thought that would please her. So, the man, the dog and the squid walked into -’

‘A squid or an octopus?’ asked Grunge politely.

Japes frowned. ‘What did I say first time?’

‘Octopus.’

‘Right. Octopus. Octopus it is, then.’ She frowned again. ‘I wonder whether it makes a difference. I mean, neither one really walks, so the whole thing is rather silly, anyway. But, no point changing molluscs midstream, eh? I’ll stick to the octopus. So, the man, the horse – no, dog! – and the octopus walk into the coffee house and Whist says, “Hello, can I get you anything?” And the dog says, “This man can play any musical instrument” – coulda been you, Grunge – and the …’ She sighed. ‘No, I don’t think the dog says that. Maybe it was the man. Or maybe ...’ Japes stared blankly at the blue sky. ‘No, I can’t remember how it goes. Sorry, Grunge. I’m sure you would have laughed.’ She smiled ruefully at him. ‘I’d better practise that one some more, I think. See you, Grunge.’ And Japes walked through the Common eating her banana, blueberry and strawberry ice cream and trying to remember the joke.

Grunge went on. He was quite curious about the new invention the Myrmidots had installed for the Muddles. A Songpost, they had called it, and it had been erected right in the centre of the Quad. It was hard not to notice it, particularly because there was a crowd of Muddles around the Songpost. And they were tied to it by leashes attached to their heads.

Grunge was worried. The Myrmidots had always been on good terms with the Muddles and he couldn’t imagine why the Myrmidots would harm the Muddles. Something was wrong, he worried as he hurried to the Songpost. What’s happened to them?

The Muddles stood as if under a spell or hypnotised. Most were just staring at the ground with a faraway look on their faces and nodding their head constantly. A few others gazed around absently, tapping their feet, their bodies shaking. Grunge ran to the nearest Muddle. The leash had been attached to the Muddle’s ears, so Grunge yanked on the end stuck in the pole. It pulled free easily.

The young Muddle stopped nodding his head. He reached up and removed the ends of the leash from his ears. ‘Hey, Grunge! What’s the matter?’ said Coll. He sounded just a little annoyed. ‘I was listening to that song!’

Grunge looked at Coll. Song? ‘What song, Coll? I can’t hear a song.’ Coll smiled at Grunge and put the end of the leash back into its hole on the pole. Then he took the two ends that had been in his ears and handed them to Grunge. Grunge noticed they had little pads on the ends.

‘Listen! Go on, put ’em on!’ he urged. Grunge hesitated, then carefully put the pads in his ears.

Grunge’s face broke into a wide smile. Music! Right inside his head! It was a traditional Muddle song, “All Shook Up” by the Mixtures. He took the pads from his ears and handed them back to Coll.

‘Awesome!’ He gave an embarrassed laugh. ‘Sorry, Coll. I … ah ... thought you had been … tied up … or something.’

Coll laughed. ‘This is so cool! They have loads of stuff on this. Look!’ He pointed to the pole.

The Songpost was about as high as your average Muddle. It was a long, thin pole with a six-sided box at the very top, and an identical box halfway up. Directly under each face was a column of small holes. ‘Nine holes,’ noticed Grunge and instantly calculated, ‘that’s 108 holes in the pole.’ Grunge had always been very fast with his calculations. He looked at the box where Coll was pointing and saw that it was, in fact, a display screen.

‘You put the ear pads on, decide which song you want to hear and then press this button …’ Coll touched the screen. ‘And the song comes out! Cool, eh?’

A hand reached over Grunge’s shoulder and pressed a button. ‘How about this one, Grunge?’ asked Sky.

Grunge turned to Sky and smiled. ‘Hello, Sky.’

‘Hiya, Sky,’ said Coll.

Grunge thought Sky was probably the most beautiful Muddle who had ever lived. Except for Crimson, he decided.

Coll had no doubts. Sky was the most beautiful Muddle who had ever lived.

Sky was an astronaut. She had dark, wavy hair that just covered her neck, and large brown eyes with long, thick lashes. Perhaps it was the darkness of her eyes but she always had a dreamy, faraway air about her. Even in her large white astronaut’s suit, she moved with easy grace and assurance. If a Muddle wanted to know about a star or a planet or anything about the universe, they asked Sky. In a special room at the top of her house she had a large telescope and at night she would spend hours gazing at places too far away to even imagine. She studied physics and astronomy, calculus and algebra and anything else a good astronaut should study. Sky was a wonderful astronaut except for one small thing, she had a terrible fear of heights.

‘Myrmidots are clever, aren’t they?’ Sky exclaimed, with an admiring nod. ‘So clever.’

‘I’ll say!’ agreed Coll.

‘It’s great!’ said Grunge. ‘All this music, and you can come and listen to it whenever you want.’

Sky’s eyes softened. ‘Some music is best listened to with someone else, I think.’

Coll shook his head and put the pads back in his ears. Instantly, his body started shaking and his head started nodding.

‘Yeah, I like sharing music with friends. Do you want to hear something, Sky?’ said Grunge.

‘OK, let’s see …’ Sky put her face close to Grunge’s so they could read the small screen together. ‘I like that one … and that’s pretty. This is such a lovely song … so romantic … that one always makes me cry…’ She read the list and Grunge couldn’t help but notice that she seemed to like an awful lot of love songs. He pointed to the screen.

Grunge realised they had a problem. ‘We don’t have the wires … the ear pads …’

Sky reached into one of the deep pockets of her spacesuit and pulled out a coil of black wire. ‘I got some yesterday.’

‘Great. You listen first,’ offered Grunge. He took the ear pads and pushed the end into the pole and handed the other end to Sky.

‘We can listen together, Grunge,’ Sky said softly. She placed an ear pad in one ear, then put her cheek next to Grunge’s and placed the other ear pad in his ear. She closed her eyes and pressed her cheek against his. ‘Choose a nice song.’ She waited for the music to begin.

‘What’s this mean?’

Sky opened her eyes. Grunge was pointing to the screen. She sighed.

‘”Transport”,’ said Grunge. ‘What does that do?’

‘I don’t know. Try it.’

Grunge pressed the screen, right on the word “Transport”. Nothing happened. Grunge and Sky looked at each other, their noses touching.

‘Maybe they haven’t got that part right yet, whatever it is,’ said Sky. She really didn’t care. Grunge had such nice eyes …

‘Beadles!’ someone shouted nearby. ‘Isn’t that the Beadles’ bus?’

‘So it is,’ another voice confirmed. ‘I never …’

Grunge and Sky started at the yell, making the ear pads pop out. They turned. There, right in front of the Common, was the Beadles’ bus. Out stepped two Beadles. The first was a pleasant-looking young female Beadle. The second was a very unhappy-looking male Beadle.

*

At the same time as Grunge left the fire station, Beadleburg’s bus arrived in front of Brian’s square little house. Megan looked at her watch. It was eight o’clock precisely. Brian’s front door opened and Brian came out. He closed the door and waved to Megan as he walked over to the bus. Megan waited until Brian was six paces from the bus, then pushed the lever that opened the door. Brian walked straight onto the bus without missing a step.

‘Good morning, Brian,’ said Megan.

‘Good morning, Megan,’ replied Brian. He pointed to the front seat near the door. ‘Is it all right if I sit here?’ he asked.

‘Sure, Brian.’ Megan grinned. ‘No other passengers on this trip. It’s a VIP bus today.’

Brian sat down. He felt foolish and happy at the same time. He didn’t feel like a VIP but he was very glad to have Megan call him one.

The bus headed west along the road to Muddlemarsh. Megan was a very good driver and Brian admired the way she turned the steering wheel so easily and didn’t make the bus jolt when she changed gear. Megan and Brian talked while the bus rolled along the even, narrow road. Brian liked talking to Megan. He also found that he liked looking at her face.

‘It’s a nice face,’ Brian thought to himself. ‘It’s a kind face.’ And then surprised himself by thinking, ‘It’s a very pretty face, too.’ He wanted to tell Megan that her face was kind and pretty, but he couldn’t quite work up the courage to say it.

Riding in a bus makes short work of miles and it wasn’t long before they could see the coffee fields of Muddlemarsh ahead.

‘Fifty-eight minutes,’ Megan said proudly. ‘Right on schedule.’

Before long, they were approaching the bridge from which Patch had dropped Brian into the stream. Megan slowed the bus and drove carefully onto the bridge. The top of the bus almost touched the wooden roof. Megan glided the bus easily across the bridge. Brian kept a sharp eye out for goats.

‘Where to first?’ Megan asked. ‘We’ll be in Home in less than ten minutes.’

‘Slight told me that Wave was the Town Leader. I should speak to him first before speaking to Crimson. She’s their fire officer.’ Brian paused to think a moment. ‘Let’s go straight to the town centre. If Wave isn’t there we’ll have to look for him.’ He drew in a deep breath. ‘I suppose there’ll be a lot of Muddles in the town. Being around just two caused enough trouble.’

The bus went on, past the fire station. Megan and Brian gave each other a quick glance as they slid by.

‘Well, that was neat enough. At least they take care of their fire station,’ she said, trying to encourage Brian. He was very glum and didn’t answer.

Megan thought Home was pretty. She decided it would be better not to say so to Brian, but she admired the flowers and the shop signs. ‘Not very practical, though,’ she decided. ‘So much to dust and polish.’

As the bus neared the Common, Megan steered it to the side of the road. ‘Ready?’ she asked Brian. He took another deep breath and nodded. Megan pulled the lever to open the door and stepped from the bus. Brian followed slowly.

Muddles gathered around the two Beadles, wondering why they and their bus had come to Home. They knew that the Beadles never let their bus go on the roads of Muddlemarsh. They chattered and whispered to each other, trying to guess what had brought two Beadles and their bus to Home.

‘Good morning,’ Brian said a little more sharply than he intended. ‘We’re looking -’

‘Are you that Beadle who lost his trousers yesterday?’ someone in the crowd called out.

‘The one that fell in the river?’ asked another voice.

‘Who was playing with Nanny’s goat?’ enquired yet another.

Brian tried to ignore the questions. ‘Please,’ he said, ‘I’m looking -’

‘Not where you’re goin’, if you fell into the stream!’ quipped the first voice good-naturedly.

The Muddles laughed, and even Megan had to smile though she made sure Brian couldn’t see it. He was clearly in no mood for smiling and she could see his face growing redder and redder. Before he lost the fight to keep his temper under control, Megan stepped forward.

‘Yes, friends, this is Brian, who helped find the map to the buried treasure, who rescued Weevil’s bowl from the stream and who has travelled to Home as a very special envoy from Beadleburg.’

The Muddles were impressed. Megan continued. ‘Brian has been asked by all the people of Beadledom to come and ask the help of our good friends and neighbours, the Muddles. As our trusted and much loved Factotum, he has been given this very important task. He would like to talk to Wave.’

‘That’s wise,’ said a Muddle voice.

‘That’s where I’d start, too,’ said another.

‘Particularly if I was on a special mission,’ said a third.

All the Muddles nodded. They stood looking with approval at the two Beadles. No one moved.

‘Perhaps we should go and get him, then?’ someone finally said.

‘Good idea.’ ‘Right!’ ‘Find Wave.’ Several Muddles spoke at once. ‘Anyone know where he is?’

‘There,’ said Coll’s voice. Everyone turned. Coll was pointing to the Songpost. Wave sat at the base of the Songpost, eyes closed, tapping his leg to the beat of the music.

‘That’s him, all right.’

‘It’s Wave.’

‘He likes his music, that Wave.’

Brian groaned. He could never understand how Muddles got anything done.

With all the other Muddles at the Songpost, Grunge and Sky hadn’t noticed Wave. Grunge bent down and tapped Wave’s shoulder. Wave opened his eyes and smiled. ‘Hey, bro,’ he said, removing his ear pads.

‘Hey, Wave.’

‘This is just too good! D’you know how many songs there are on this thing? Hundreds!’

‘Someone wants to see you, Wave.’

‘See me?’ he said. ‘Really? Who?’

‘Beadles. And they brought their bus.’

‘The Beadles’ bus? In Home?’ Wave sat up straight. ‘Man! That is a surprise.’

‘I think it’s important. One is a special envoy.’