184
THIRTY-EIGHT
On the trail, Blue Thunder had succumbed to
white man’s influenza. If the small band of Indians hadn’t found
him unconscious in the snow two months ago, he would have died.
They took him back to their village and nursed him back to health.
They said he had been delirious for two weeks. It took him another
three weeks to regain his strength. By then, the ground was covered
with heavy white powder. When spring was in the air, he left and
returned to the spot where he was discovered by the small band of
Indians. The trail was gone but he would search every inch of the
region until he found signs. His intuition told him that they would
be in a cave somewhere. His wife would be in no condition to
travel; his child would be born any day. Blue Thunder climbed and
searched small caves with no luck. He rested a while on a ledge and
searched the sky for answers but only wispy clouds drifted by. He
watched a hawk circle, wishing he had the wings of a bird.
“You think that hawk knows where Moon Glow
is?” he asked Night Rider. The horse whinnied as if he understood
his words. He sighed. “Well, it is time to move on. Let us hope the
spirits are kind to us.”
It was a baby’s wail that made him stop in
his tracks. Without waiting a moment, he ran towards the sound, his
heart racing like the wind. He found that the crying led him to a
large cave. Drawing his knife, he crept forward, wondering what he
would find. What he found made his blood turn to ice.
To his horror, dead wolves lay by an
unconscious Hawk Nose and his wife. He studied the scene before him
believing all were dead, and realized one of the wolves was his
pet. Then a crying alerted his senses and he saw the tiny bundle
lying on his wife’s stomach. There was no time to figure out what
had happened. He rushed to her side; his child was bawling, with
tiny fists flailing in the air. His face was beet red and he kicked
the animal pelt off with his feet. Blue Thunder picked the baby up.
He had a son. A feeling of total love and protection filled his
soul.
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His heart filled with pride. A son!
This was the first thing his wife saw when
she opened her eyes and she gasped, “Had I died and gone to heaven?
Could this be my husband standing before me with an infant in his
huge arms? Blue Thunder?” she whispered.
He knelt before her and kissed her cheek.
She went into darkness again and he tapped her cheek a few times.
“Wake up, it is I, your husband.!”.
His wife bolted upright. “No!” She struggled
against his arms that encircled her trembling body. She cried,
refusing to be restrained by whoever was holding her.
“Moon Glow, open your eyes. It is me, your
husband.”
It took a moment for his voice to sink in.
“Blue Thunder?” she rasped as her eyes opened. “Oh, God! I was
afraid you were dead. I thought....” Unable to finish, she
swallowed her words and collapsed against him.
He rested his square chin atop her golden
head. He was so relieved she was alive and that he now had a
healthy son. Many questions had to be answered, but not until she
was better. “It is all right, Moon Glow. I am here and you are
safe. You gave me a strong son who’s eager for his mother’s
breasts.” He held the tiny bundle wrapped in a piece of pelt.
“Oh, Blue Thunder,” she hugged her husband.
“I was so scared. I remember very little.” Then she asked, “Where’s
Hawk Nose?”
Blue Thunder’s jaw twitched. Why was she
concerned about the brave? His voice gruff, laced with
disappointment and annoyance, he said, “He’s over there,” he nodded
with his head, “in the dark corner. I tended his wounds, but it
looks bad. As best as I can figure, he killed three wolves that
were attacking you. But enough about him,” he bristled, “you need
to see to our son.”
His wife sighed. “I feel very weak and tired
but I will take care of our newborn. My mind is totally saturated.
I remember the wolves but I must have passed out.” She licked her
cracked lips.
“Do not talk now,” he ordered softly. “You
are safe and need to rest and care for our son. When you feel
better we will go home.”
“Home,” she whispered. “Yes, Blue Thunder, I
want to go home. I miss my daughter and I have missed you.”
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When his wife slept, he looked hatefully at
the brave who had stolen her from him. Then, without so much as a
remorseful sigh, he decided to skin the wolves for meat and fur,
but when he went to pick up Licks Too Much, his heart froze in his
chest. His life long friend had found his mate before him and he
had risked his life to save her. Placing his head into the bloody
pulp of fur, Blue Thunder wept.
“You are the bravest Apache canine in our
entire nation,” he croaked, and then buried the animal outside.
“Never will I have as loyal a dog as you, Licks Too Much.” With a
heavy heart, he wiped his misty eyes and went back inside to finish
what he had started.
Blue Thunder did not think Hawk Nose would
survive the deep puncture wounds of the bites. Since Hawk Nose was
brave and saved his wife and baby’s lives, Blue Thunder tried to
help him as best he could. But he was angry, knowing none of this
would have happened if it weren’t for the brave. He decided not to
kill Hawk Nose as he had originally planned; the wolves might have
done that for him. The brave’s life was in the hands of the gods.
He decided, when his wife was ready to travel, he would give Hawk
Nose back his knife and canteen of water.
Hawk Nose lay delirious for two weeks as his
wife regained her strength and insisted on feeding him water and
food. When she had regained her senses, Blue Thunder had the heart
wrenching job of telling her that Licks Too Much had given up his
life to protect hers. She lapsed into fit of hysterical weeping for
a long time and he had to scold her, saying she needed her
strength. He was angry at her behavior, but it was understandable;
she had gone through a traumatic time. What provoked him more was
her insistence to nurse Hawk Nose.
“He saved my life and our son’s. We owe him
that much.”
He wondered if she was in love with Hawk
Nose but did not ask or stop her from helping him. They did not
speak of her leaving the village; there would be time for that
later. She was still weak and he did not want to upset her further.
Because of her ordeal, she did not have much milk for the child; he
didn’t want to cause her milk to dry up altogether. He was upset
with her, as well he should be. She had done a foolish thing to
endanger herself and the baby. He had many angry words and he
preferred to let her hear them later.
It was a long, miserable trip home. He knew
her body felt the strain of unhappiness more
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than the traveling. His wife remained quiet
and he had his own reasons for being silent. Did she believe he
would not forgive her for what she had done? He was not too sure of
that himself! He believed she had betrayed him. Up to the time they
left the brave, his wife would not leave Hawk Nose’s side,
attending his needs. And she wasn’t comfortable about abandoning
him in his condition.
He watched Moon Glow sitting rigidly on the
horse. She nestled Gray Wolf-Nantan Lupa-in the crook of her arms,
periodically placing feathery kisses on the infant’s tiny red
cheeks. She was a good mother, but it bothered him that she
remained so quiet, never once trying to explain why she left their
daughter. If only she had attempted to say something in her
defense. Faithless wives were punished severely by cutting off a
portion of their nose, after which they were cast off. Blue Thunder
could never mar her beautiful face, no matter what he believed. The
secret would remain in his heart; no one would know what he feared
was the truth.
188
THIRTY-NINE
There was rejoicing in the little village
when he and his wife rode in. Dogs barked and women and children
greeted them with cheers and smiles. A few young boys paid them no
heed as they engaged in a daily pastime of mocked combat, hurling
stones at each other with slings. Moon Glow was reunited with her
daughter but it broke her heart when the child refused to leave
Laughing Tree’s embrace. It had been so long that Blue Moon had
forgotten her mother. Little Licks Too Much welcomed her with a
slobbering tongue on her face. He told his wife with love and
patience, in time their daughter will return to her empty arms.
When she learned of Weeping Bird’s murder, she sat for days in her
hut in mourning.
Blue Thunder watched his wife cry over her
loss. He knew she loved the Indian maiden like a sister. His heart
went out to her and he almost weakened to take her in his arms. He
missed her body against his, even now after knowing what she had
done, his love for her was great. But he was Blue Thunder, son of a
leader, he had his pride. She had shamed him among his people when
she left with another. By rights, he should put her out of his
wickiup to divorce her, but he could not bring himself to do it.
She was still the mother of his children.
Would she ever love him again? Had she
allowed Hawk Nose to make love to her? That thought plagued his
mind over and over. Feeling as if he would burst from anger and
frustration he ran from the dwelling, jumped on Night Rider, and
took a long, hard ride, feeling as one with the wind.
The village was quiet, asleep. A cat bird
serenaded the night as Blue Thunder slipped onto his mat, next to
his sleeping wife; he returned late, his mind and heart still torn.
Although they needed to talk he was afraid to hear the truth, but
it was time to discuss her feelings and behavior concerning Hawk
Nose. He studied her for awhile, wondering if he should wake her,
not liking the situation dragging on so long. His hand was just
above her shoulder when her body jerked and she moaned. His hand
stopped in midair.
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“Nooo!” she yelled, “Hawk Nose!”
“Do not fight me, Moon Glow! Do not call out
your lover’s name!”
She cried out, “Please, don’t hurt me!”
Blue Thunder was enraged when she called out
for the man he thought was her lover and he so wanted to choke his
name from her lips as held her. But his wife’s continuous struggle
made her warm body rub against his; he lost all control. Once again
his hands skimmed the curves of her body and it thrilled him. He
wanted her more than anything, and he would have her; she still
belonged to him. He quickly entered her and he believed her moans
and groans were for Hawk Nose and his deep surges increased her
joy. He was beginning to regret his actions and wanted to stop but
he couldn’t. He could no sooner stop loving her as he could stop
breathing.
When they climaxed, Melissa called out his
name and he rolled off of her totally spent, but she clung to him
desperately. “Oh, my love, I never thought you’d forgive me.”
He was distraught by her words but he didn’t
push her away. He brushed her damp hair from her face and she
lovingly gazed at him. His heart warming to her but he controlled
his voice so she wouldn’t hear the weakness closing in on his
soul.
“Did Hawk Nose make you feel like this?” She
stiffened in his arms.
“What are you taking about?” her eyes
turning to topaz ice.
“I am talking about your lover!” he
bristled, unraveling her arms from his neck.
The slap that cracked across his bronze face
echoed throughout the dwelling and Blue Thunder was taken aback by
her actions; no woman ever struck him before. The blood in his body
reached to a boil and he grabbed her wrist pulling her roughly to
him. Moon Glow fell, sprawled half onto his body.
Melissa was having a nightmare. The voice
didn’t belong to the face in the dream but someone was holding her.
She was trembling with fright. She saw those beady eyes and sharp
teeth, dripping with blood, growling at her. Her hands went up to
ward off the danger and she screamed; without any warning, strong
arms grabbed her body like a vice. She was shaken awake but in her
dream state, she believed she was back in the cave. The arms held
her firm. Groggily, she fought back, thinking it was Hawk Nose’s
arms around her.
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Did her heart just explode? It was as if
cold a hand crushed all life out of her body, then it dawned on
her. “You thought I ran away with Hawk Nose because I loved him?”
She pushed Blue Thunder away, “All this time, you believed the
worst of me?! How dare you make love to me thinking I betrayed you?
All this pain because you didn’t love or trust me enough!”
When they first arrived home Melissa knew
her husband had been watching her weep. His eyes were constantly on
her and the veins in his neck pulsated. She ignored her husband’s
scowl that stretched across his face that seemed to be permanent
lately. She prayed that he would come and say all was forgiven, but
when he left she cried harder for him and herself. Would things
ever get better between them? Maybe she should go to him and beg
forgiveness. But what if he wouldn’t forgive her? She missed his
loving arms. The only thing that preserved her sanity was the love
she had for her youngsters. She vowed never to leave them again,
for any reason. When her husband didn’t return for supper and she
fed her children, and then sang them to sleep. Completely drained
from crying most of the day, she retired early.
When she realized now what happened, her
eyes opened to see her husband’s impassive face above her and her
heart was filled with joy. He was making love to her again, but for
some reason she believed the act was not done with love but
punishment. She had wanted to protest, but she began to feel old
sensations return in her deep self and her blood warmed with
excitement. Now her chest heaved, frightened of what he might do to
her, but the nearness of him assaulted her senses and she fought
the weakness that consumed her body. Maybe this was her fault; it
was time to tell the truth.