Blurred Lines (Behind Closed Doors Book 2) (3 page)

“But you do,” he whispers, taking my hands in his. “And I do.” I can't. I can't look into those beautiful eyes when he looks at me like I'm his entire world. I shake my head as I turn away. My answer is no. I can't do this to Ashleigh. “Jules, I'm leaving New York.”

He's what?

“I'm transferring to LAPD. They're setting up a new task force for some guy running around murdering women in LA. In a few weeks I'll be a homicide detective.”

Oh my God. My head spins with the curve ball he's thrown at me. My head already knows the answer but my heart asked the question anyway. “What about Ashleigh?” How can he do this to her? I thought we’d established how much she needs him right now.

“I've already told you, it's over between Ashleigh and me.” He promised and for the first time I believed him. “I applied for the job before everything got so fucked up, you know. And I thought with her family being out there too she’d come with me. The only hurdle was Sean, but I thought if she was forced to choose then she’d choose me. I even asked her to choose.”

I try not to frown. Surely he knows about Ashleigh’s last boyfriend. The one who gave her the same ultimatum; him or Sean? Well, as you can tell she didn’t choose him.

“It was foolish of me, I know, but I really did want things to work out … But instead she...” He hisses like the release valve on a pressure cooker. “She freaked. And, Jules, you haven’t seen anything like it or you wouldn’t still be around. Things are way beyond repair after this.”

“You're just going to up and leave at a time like this?”

“Has she ever lost it with you, Julia?” I lift my gaze to his. Sure, I've seen Ash lose her temper. She can be quite diva-ish when she doesn't get things her way. “I mean really lose it, the blinded by rage and tossing glassware at you kind of lose it?” He's exaggerating. He must be. Ash just isn't like that. “I wouldn't have believed it myself if she hadn't freaked out in my apartment this week.”

My eyes go to the cast on his arm. Ashleigh was there when it happened and he said he'd fallen but...now my mind is spinning. Did Ashleigh hurt Wayne? I know she's more than capable of snapping his arm in two. Is that why he fell? They were arguing? Over moving to LA?

“I fell,” he says as though he's read my mind. “I wish you could see how over it is between us, Jules. A guy can only say I'm sorry so many times before he gives up.” I know all of this, but it makes me feel like I'm the second prize. “Especially, when he wants you.”

He's right. I know he is. How many times has she told me she'll never forgive him? And without that forgiveness their relationship is only heading one way. It’s over. But that doesn't mean I have to like what’s happening here and now, between Wayne and I, and behind Ashleigh's back. Besides, what is happening here? Have I misunderstood what’s on offer? Because the signals and the chemistry between us scream 'forever' potential and if he's only going to ride off into the sunset in a few weeks then I'm as good as a million dollar dragon watching foolhardy business pitch. I'm out.

“Forgetting about you is the proper thing to do, right?”

His words hang between us while he stares at me like he's waiting for a permission I just can't give. Tortured, he must be, because he must also know I'll never willingly give him the okay to hurt my best friend. And never like this. Just being here, discussing it with him when she has no idea what we've already done, is tearing me in two. She's my best friend. My loyalty should be with her and not her boyfriend.

“I can't,” he murmurs. “I've tried. For longer than you know.” He swallows nervously before he whispers, “I want you to come with me.”

Oh... My jaw gapes open. Oh... If he isn't certifiably crazy then Satan's sunbathing in the Sahara Desert ... Oh ... there isn't another word for it. Oh fuck. What kind of rock and hard place have I stuffed myself between this time?

He's just asked me to move to LA with him. What is he thinking? We aren't even in a relationship. Does he even know what he's asking of me? I'll have to give up my job, my friends, my family. I don't know anyone in Los Angeles except Ashleigh's stuck up famous-for-marrying-a-movie-star twin sister. I really would be taking a blind leap of faith. For Wayne!

It's just too much. He's asking for too much. My brother will never speak to me again. Ashleigh won't ever speak to me again. My parents will be disappointed by this. And I've been here before. I know how Ashleigh is going to feel when this comes out. I can't do this to her. I just ... just... I can't! Why am I even considering this?

“You're over analyzing it,” he whispers as his hand sweeps the hair from my eyes. He gently tucks it behind my ear before his hand comes to rest on my cheek. “I want a future with you. I want romantic evening strolls along the west coast and maybe in a few years’ time we can watch our children playing in the sand.” His smile lights up his face at the mention of children and I melt in the middle like that chocolate pudding with the gooey center. How could I not? “The only question you should be answering right now is do you want that future with me?”

Oh, what girl doesn't want romantic strolls with a hot police officer who boils their blood? But why do I have to give him an answer right now? He isn't ordering takeaway. He wants me to change my whole life; no, scrap that, he wants me to ruin my whole life, for him!

“You're still over thinking this,” Wayne whispers again. “Maybe this will help?”

His lips caress mine. Just a brief tender touch but all of my thoughts are lost. It's different this time because this...is love. I don't know how I know. I don't know how I can tell the difference between this and his previous kisses. But I do, and it's there. Everything he feels for me he transfers from his lips to mine. The deepest depth of my soul begins to wake up. Those warm fuzzy feelings that I shoved so far down during my last heartbreak yawn and stretch. And the puppy is yapping in protest but I don’t care because… Oh my, Wayne-Wondering-Hands-Swift is in love. With me.

Of course, my body responds without my consent. I succumb to the lovely warmth flooding me from deep within. I return the fleeting kiss because now I feel butterflies, and hope, and possibilities, and maybe, just maybe this time... maybe Wayne is the one I get to have forever with.

“Precious, Julia.” He pulls me into his arms. “I'm going to marry you one day.”

“And would that be—” I stop dead still, frozen by dread. I don't even breathe from the second I hear Ashleigh's voice. “—before or after you break up with me?”

Why? Did she have to come home right this second? Why now?

“You were planning to end it, weren't you, Wayne?” Ashleigh asks quite matter-of-fact. It's as though catching her best friend and her boyfriend sucking face is an everyday occurrence. “And preferably before I found out you’re screwing my best friend's kid sister.”

I swallow past the instant ball clogging my throat. Here I am trying to fight everything we're both feeling, and Wayne isn't making that easy for me, because she's supposed to be my best friend, my roommate, and she's reduced me to nothing. Worse than nothing because I mean little to her as Sean's sister.

Wayne and I part. He steps back to face her as Ashleigh continues to cackle like she's above something as crude as betrayal. “Well, I am sorry to ruin your plans, Wayne. I did try to call you when I landed, but you've developed this nasty habit of not answering your cell.” She even sounds calm. “And now I know why.”

“Ash.” Wayne side steps just enough to stand in front of me.

“Your explanation really isn't necessary, babe.” She lifts her palm to stop him and she appears to be calm. Something’s not right with this situation and I don’t like whatever it is. “I knew you had someone else.”

She's handling this too well. She's too calm for a third-dan judo sensei with a short fuse. Her gaze flickers momentarily to me and I know she's going to kick my ass from here to Ellis Island and back given half the chance.

“But if you wouldn't mind,” she sing-songs in that uppity tone I'm starting to hate, “I'd appreciate it if you took this,” she waves a regal hand like somehow she's better than us, “whatever it is, somewhere that is not inside my apartment because it's insulting of you, and especially her, to continue to do it here.”

Oh boy, she’s mad. Hopping mad. And it’s directed at me. That’s why the same conversation could have been played out without me. She can’t even bring herself to look at me.

“Ashleigh, I—”

I'd tried. I really wanted to explain but she'd cut me straight off with that nucleonic temper of hers. Each word bit through her teeth and her eyes are ablaze with her rage as she whips her arm at the door. “Get. The fuck. Out!”

Chapter Three

Oh crap! She looks like she could murder someone with her bare hands. Oh shit! She can murder someone with her bare hands and from the venom in her voice and the daggers firing at me from her eyes that someone is going to be me. Oh fuck!

“What am I doing here?” Ashleigh lifts a brow as she repeats Wayne's absurd question. Her anger is shutdown in an instant and she's back to being cool, calm and collected. It's like we were having a normal everyday conversation. “Oh, I don't know.” She hums as she fusses with her puppy, Luca. “Maybe, it has something to with...” She stands and then bang! “I live here you lying, cheating son of a bitch. How could you do this to me?”

Luca scrambles away from Ashleigh's feet. Her claws scratch the wooden floor as she scurries across the apartment and into Ashleigh's bedroom. I so wish I could hide under the bed with her.

Crap! I shrink further behind Wayne. I've never seen her react to anything like this. She makes volcanoes look tame when she’s this mad.

“How long has this been going on?” she demands as she marches forward. Then she just stops, mid-stride, and looks me dead in the eyes. “This is where he was, wasn't it?” All the color drains from her perfectly made up face as she accuses, “He was with you?”

Before I can reply she shakes her head and turns her attention back to Wayne. “This is why no one could find you when Roberto died?” Rage lights up behind her eyes again as she thrusts a pointer finger in my direction. “You were in bed with her! How could you?” She flips her attention back to me. “How could
you
? I trusted you. You convinced me he was innocent,” she yells at me. “You told me he wouldn't – and I fucking fell for it!”

“What did you want me to say, Ashleigh?” I yell back. “It was me!”

“Yes!”

“You'd have kicked my ass!”

“Grow a fucking spine!”

“Not all of us can be over achieving martial arts experts at twenty-four like you!”

Suddenly, she gasps, her eyes widening as she holds her stomach and backs away from us. It’s like I’ve physically hit her or something. She shakes her head as she lowers herself into a chair. And I finally understand how much she hides behind a carefree smile.

“I've finally accepted you're not just in it for the free ride. And maybe ... just maybe you like me.” Her eyes glazed over, tears fill them with a glassy shine and for a moment she's completely vulnerable. She looks at neither of us as she whispers, “Oh, fuck.” She covers her face with her hands as a sob escapes her throat. “It's high school all over again. Does he know? Did you tell him? How many other people know?”

How can she ask me that? I'd never tell anyone that she's a former TV star in hiding.

“Don't be a fucking hypocrite, Ashleigh,” Wayne snarls. “Because it's obvious to everyone you're sleeping with Sean.”

A fierce icy glare hits Wayne from across the room. “Do you think I don't realize I haven't been completely fair to you, Wayne?” She rises from the chair in a manner worthy of royalty. She's really starting to piss me off with this holier than thou attitude. Yeah, I slept with her boyfriend, yes she caught us. But hasn't Wayne just pointed out she's no martyr herself. What about my brother?

“You think I don't realize you deserve the truth? Why do you think I asked you to meet me here? Because you were right. And you were right about making a choice where he’s concerned.” She looks at me and then she strides across the room and plants herself before us. “So I did. But I guess I’ll have to reconsider because I deserve better than this. I deserve better than you, or anyone else for that matter, who isn't going to put me first.”

“You’ve never put me first, Ashleigh. Not once,” Wayne throws back at her.

She looks down for a second. “Oh, but I did,” she says like that was her only mistake. “Because I believed you when you said you wanted this to work.”

“You...” I whisper. I have to ask because I don't quite believe her. “You've ended it with Sean?”

“There was nothing to end. Never has been because he's married and it seems I'm the only one in this room who believes in monogamy.”

My guilt forces me to look away. I don't get it. She's never told me she feels anything more than like towards Wayne. And like is being generous. But then again, visibly, Ashleigh has the emotional range of a tooth pick and it’s impossible to know what’s going on under the surface unless she makes it explicitly clear. Like right now.

Something has shifted this weekend. Has she realized she more than likes him? This is so much worse than I thought. I never even wanted to be the bitch who stole the guy her best friend didn't like, but the guy she did? Shit. And he doesn't want her. He wants me. So I have stolen my friend's boyfriend. “Ashleigh, I'm sorry.”

“Go,” she hisses through her teeth as she points to the door. “Just, get the fuck out of my apartment, both of you.”

“But—”

“Now!”

“I've nowhere to go.”

“Of course you have.” She laughs, and it's the kind of laugh that can cut through skin as tough as a rhino's hide or inflict the worst kind of pain imaginable right where it hurts the most. And she knows the effect that has on me because the next moment she looks at me with this icy glare and sings, “Or did you miss the part where my boyfriend proposed to
you
.” No he didn't. “I certainly didn't. So leave. Because I never want to see either of you ever again.” With one final twist of the verbal dagger she adds, “I'm sure you, of all people, can understand why, Julia.”