Bo & Ember (7 page)

Willow shot a hesitant gaze my way. I knew what it meant. New York. And, even though we hadn’t been offered more than a pair of ears, it occurred to me for the first time that we’d have more to consider than the financial details of a contract.

“Let’s do it.” I leaned into Bo, who wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

“Did I hear a yes?” Yardley cooed almost out of nowhere.

I looked to Bo and Regan and we all eyed Yardley at the same time.

“We’d love to play for you,” Bo answered for us.

Yardley bobbed a little on her heels as though she really wanted to jump. “Excellent. I’ll meet you all at Tavern Nine Studios at noon tomorrow.”

Yardley glided back across the garden and hooked up with Jan, who was talking with a Top 40 manager I recognized from
Entertainment Weekly
.

“Good move, guys,” Beckett said as he stretched his arms overhead.

I freed myself from Bo’s embrace and walked back toward where the rest of The Six would be waiting for us. “Thanks. How long are you in town, Beckett?”

He pulled his head back and twisted his eyebrows. “I live here.”

“Since when?” I mimicked his incredulous look.

“A year and a half ago. I live like a second from here.”

“We did a show here last year. Where the hell were you?” I teased, smiling at the memory that our show last year in Napa was the first large show Bo and I had done as husband and wife. We’d married at the campground in Vallejo a week earlier.

Beckett seemed to struggle for an answer. “I wasn’t actually in town that weekend.”

He seemed to drop it at that, falling back in step with Regan, discussing doing a rock mix with violin for him to use when he worked at a club. Regan sounded excited enough and they talked about the technical aspects of classical music used in the rock world.

I shook off the slightly awkward exchange and grabbed Bo’s hand, excited to tell my parents the opportunity—no matter how small—we’d been afforded.

Bo

“I
’m so glad you guys had the foresight to book this place for two nights.” Ember drummed her fingers softly on her knees as she bobbed her head to the music playing through the car.

Georgia chuckled. “Amen to that. Just an FYI, I don’t care if the President of the United States calls you and tells you to get somewhere. I’m not leaving that bed till morning.”

“Amen to
that
,” Ember echoed, reaching her hand behind her for a high five from Georgia.

There was a buzzing energy inside our vehicle. Between the performance tonight, which was the best we’d ever played, and the excitement over our recording session at Tavern Nine tomorrow, I wondered if we’d ever get to sleep. Regan had been quiet since we left the vineyard. Looking in the rearview mirror, I saw his face looked calm, but there was certainly something serious brewing behind his eyes. Just then, he looked forward and caught me staring at him. He grinned and shook his head, mouthing,
can you believe this shit?

I couldn’t. However, I’d promised in prayer to my parents after they died that I’d never question things when they were good. I promised to them, and myself, that I’d enjoy every second of joy and, when it happened, every second of pain.

To feel meant that I was still breathing.

Once we were back at the bed and breakfast and in our own private room, Ember seemed to want to pick up where we’d left off the night before. She tossed her messenger bag on the chair and began undressing. The long white sundress she’d worn on stage was the same one she’d worn when she agreed to be my wife, and then did just that mere minutes later. Only those of us who were there that night knew that
this
was the dress, and it helped create a certain energy sometimes when she wore it.

I knew it was a calming one for her. She tended to wear it when she needed to be centered.

“Are you okay tonight?” I asked, gesturing to the dress as I approached her and set my hands on her hips.

She nodded, looking up at me through her lashes. “I was so worked up this morning about who would be there tonight, and what would happen, that I just needed to wear that dress. To remember what the hell we’re doing anyway.”

“And what’s that?” I exhaled slowly as I brought my lips to her neck, allowing me to inhale again and savor the sweetness of her skin.

“Living our wildest dreams. We’re doing it already.” She paused to moan as my lips worked to her collarbone. “So, I needed to remind myself not to get too worked up or too disappointed about whatever happened tonight or from here on out.”

Ember's hands worked quickly to unhook my belt, leaving it in the loops as she unzipped my shorts and let them fall to the floor.

I stepped out of them and led her to the bed. She was wearing a nude colored bra and matching lace panties that drove me wild. While a nude Ember was certainly something to behold, there was something so inviting and wild about the
almost
that her panties beckoned me with.

“Your parents seemed excited about tomorrow.” I took off my shirt and tossed it onto my shorts.

Ember placed her hands behind her and leaned back. “They did. They say they want us to chase this.”

“Do you think they mean it?”

I knew Raven and Ashby and the rest of The Six were one hundred percent supportive of all of our musical talent and efforts. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t have gone out of the way to create space in our concert lineup for just Regan, Ember, and me to play. And, given they’d already had a few rounds of national tours a couple of decades ago, it’s not like they’d be missing out on an opportunity. They truly seemed content in traveling California and the Pacific Northwest.

Ember leaned her head from side to side, like she was weighing her response. “I do. I mean, it’s not like they’d have a problem getting an audience for a show if we weren’t there. Their fans are loyal, and the band is special. They’ll be playing together until they leave this earth.”

“I know. I tell your dad this at least ten times a week, but it’s been a hell of an opportunity learning from them and playing with them this past year. It’s been like the dream internship or top apprenticeship.” Then, it dawned on me. I leaned over Ember, laying her on the bed as I kissed her cheeks. “If we get some sort of contract without them, you’ll be sad not to be playing with them so much.”

She grinned, pinching my chin between her thumb and index finger. “Was that a question or a statement?”

I shrugged, leaning forward to kiss her nose.

“How about,” she continued, “we don’t worry about any of that unless we have to? You know, one day at a time and all of that.” Ember glided her hand down my stomach and slipped past the fabric of my boxer briefs, taking my breath away momentarily.

“November Cavanaugh, have you been reading my self-help books?” I teased.

She shrugged. “I’ve got to do
something
when we’re all trapped in that RV together.”

“Well. We’re not in an RV now…” I gently pulled the silk of her bra to expose one breast, and started kissing and nibbling her soft skin.

“That’s true.” Her voice took on the airy breathlessness I found intoxicating. “And, we’re not sleeping, either.”

“Imagine that.” I grinned. “Whatever shall we do with our time?”

Ember had been stroking me slowly during our whole exchange, and finally slid her hand back up to help me out of my boxer briefs.

“Damn, you’re fine. I don’t know why anyone complains about being over thirty,” she teased. “It looks pretty divine from where I’m sitting.”

“And eternity looks exceptional from where I’m sitting.”

Ember rolled her eyes and smacked my chest. “Oh shut up!”

“What?” I hovered over her, my lips inches from hers.

“I can’t say one romantic thing without you pulling out the big guns. Let me have a moment, huh?”

In a second, her playful giggle and lip biting turned serious. Her hands moved to my face and she pulled my lips to hers, moaning as we connected.

“You’re so beautiful.” I spoke softly as I pulled back, resting on my knees so I could slide her panties down her legs.

Ember never talked much during sex and, sometimes, it made me uncomfortable. I wanted to know what was going on inside her head. The looks she shot me had to have a million words behind them, and I wanted to know what they were. She often did her best speaking with her body, though, and tonight was no different.

She wrapped her hands around the backs of my thighs and dropped her knees a little further to the side to allow me in. I took my time, never wanting to waste a second that I had her in bed. Especially since over the last year we hadn’t exactly had the typical newlywed experience. Being in an RV for more than 6 months all totaled posed its own stresses. Stresses that were miles away as I put my head down and reveled in the feel of her. Her back arched as I worked my way deep inside of her. Slowly at first, allowing us to acclimate to the always intense feeling.

“God, I love you, Bo.” Ember’s head rocked back on the pillow, but when she lowered her chin, she opened her eyes.

Reaching for my face once again, Ember kept her eyes on me as I moved slightly faster. Her lips parted and her breath became shorter, and I couldn’t look away. Our eyes were locked on each other as we moved together. No words, no directions, no questions. I wanted to go faster. That was the instinct of my body, but as I watched Ember’s face, something changed.

A small tear curled out of the corner of one of her eyes and slid across her cheekbone and onto the pillow. She didn’t move her eyes even then. When a second tear fell, I slowed. Not to a stop, but slow enough that I could talk.

“What’s wrong?” Shifting my weight to one hand, I took the other and brought it to her face, using my thumb to wipe a third tear that sat on the edge of her eye.

She slowly rocked her head back and forth, pulling her lips into a reassuring smile. “This year has been the best of my life, Bo. We have more than anything I’d dreamed we’d have.” Her chin quivered as she released a soft sigh, moving her hands down the length of my arms.

“You look sad …” I was trying to understand the mix of emotions she seemed to be wrestling with.

“I’m scared it’ll be taken away.”

At that, I stopped and slowly pulled out of her. I rolled over and pulled her to my chest. “What do you mean?”

Ember nuzzled her head into my shoulder and sniffed. “I don’t know … it all seems too good to be true sometimes. Like, I find myself wondering when the other shoe will drop.”

Kissing the top of her head, I left my lips there as I spoke. “You’re my happily ever after, Ember. We’ve dealt with all kinds of shit, and we’re fine.”

“I’m afraid I’m going to lose you.” With the sound of a thousand hearts breaking, Ember’s eyes pleaded with me for reassurance.

I held her tighter. “What makes you think you’ll lose me?”

“It always happens, you know. When people get famous.”

A sharp laugh from deep within my chest startled her. She leaned up on one elbow, looking rather incensed.

“I’m serious, Bo. If it’s not drugs, then it’s alcohol. If it’s not women, then it’s money.”

“You’re kidding, right? Ember, this isn’t
Behind the Music.
I’m not … wait … do you not trust me? Wait … no … this is the most ridiculous conversation we’ve ever had. I don’t have any recording contract, and if I don’t get one with you, then I’m not taking it.”

She sat up and maintained her quiet faraway tone. “Well, that’s kind of drastic, don’t you think?”

“No more drastic than you thinking I’ll turn into some sort of stereotypical burnout overnight.” I kept my voice soft and even because, if I knew Ember at all, this wasn’t what she was actually upset about.

Ember ran her fingers through her hair, stopping at the back of her head and tightening them until her knuckles turned white. She bent her knees and rested her forehead on them, taking a deep breath.

“Love?” I placed my hand in the center of her back, brushing it smoothly from side to side. “What’s this about?”

“Don’t you ever think things are too good to be true?” Her voice started shaking, and it was then that it clicked she was having a panic attack.

To my knowledge up until that point, she’d never had one. I received my PhD in panic after my parents died and, luckily, that training took over. I moved so I was kneeling in front of her, and tugged her hands away from her hair.

“Hey, hey, hey …” With each word, I dropped my volume lower in order to get her to focus on it and not whatever mess was trashing her insides. “Babe, look at me, okay?”

I had to say it one more time, but she finally did. Her hands were shaking like crazy and had a thin sheen of cool sweat covering them. Her eyes darted around the room, no doubt searching for an escape.

“November, look into my eyes. Take a deep breath. In through your nose until you can’t take in any more, then puff your cheeks as you force the air out, okay? I’ll take one with you.” I opened my mouth wider than necessary to get her to focus on the breath we were about to take together.