Bomb Grade (30 page)

‘Which no one was left in any doubt about that I should have had and already initiated!'

‘You're assuming a criticism nobody made!'

‘Your Englishman made it.'

‘He's not
my
Englishman! And you asked him what he would do in the circumstances, didn't you!'

‘I was made to look a fool!'

By yourself, nobody else, thought Natalia. Aloud she said, ‘Blaming Western involvement, which you set out to do, could have cost me the directorship!'

‘That's an exaggeration.'

‘I don't think so. I don't have to tell you what that would mean … not just to me. To Sasha, too.'

‘And I don't have to tell you how much I want properly to look after you. And Sasha.'

Natalia hadn't expected him to turn the conversation like that and for several moments could not think of a response. She recognized it as the olive branch to end their argument but she didn't want so quickly to take it. He hadn't done enough to help her. So it was right he should know how deeply she was annoyed: too deeply to be mollified in a five-minute telephone conversation. Reverting to the formality with which he'd begun, Natalia said, ‘Call me, if there is anything.'

Rebuffed, Popov said, ‘I will,' and replaced the telephone without any farewell.

Natalia remained by the receiver, gazing at it. She hadn't said what she'd wanted to say and knew what she had said hadn't been right. She felt confused and angry, at herself and at Aleksai and peremptory ministers and presidential aides and at whatever they were involved in, about which she felt most confused of all. She grabbed the receiver when it sounded, anxious to hear Aleksai apologize.

‘We
should
talk,' suggested Charlie.

‘Yes,' agreed Natalia. ‘We should.'

‘What's the seriousness of the leak?' demanded Patrick Pacey.

‘We need far more information before any proper assessment can be made,' said Dean. ‘There's a scientific team being assembled at Aldermaston. We're feeding them the raw information as it comes in. Washington is cooperating fully: the President telephoned Downing Street an hour ago. I've had three separate telephone conversations with Fenby.'

‘Is it a Chernobyl situation?' persisted Pacey.

‘We don't know enough to answer that.'

‘The fallout, from Chernobyl, reached England!' Simpson pointed out.

‘This can't possibly be as big,' guessed Dean.

‘Chernobyl was a reactor,' reminded Pacey, unnecessarily. ‘This is weapons-graded. Surely that will be more powerful?'

‘I don't know!' repeated the exasperated Dean.

‘Why break open the canisters deliberately?' said Johnson.

‘It's beyond belief!' said Pacey.

‘It all is,' agreed Dean.

‘What are the Russians doing about public warnings?' asked Johnson.

‘There's still the insistence on a news blackout.'

‘They've never given a damn about endangering their civilian population with their nuclear programme,' reminded Pacey.

‘We could have a catastrophe,' said the deputy Director, point-lessly.

‘I'm not sure what we have got,' said Dean. There was one thing he was sure about, though.

chapter 21

T
he doorstep greeting wasn't as awkward as the first time but Charlie thought it was close. He halted again at the inner door, for Natalia to precede him to where he expected Sasha to be.

‘She's being looked after. In case something urgent comes up,' explained Natalia, without being asked.

There was a moment of uncertainty. ‘I'm glad you agreed. It's right.'

‘I know.' She hoped he believed her about Sasha and didn't think she'd done something ridiculous like hiding the child away. Or be offended by what she had half decided to suggest.

‘Last time didn't work out very well, did it?' She'd changed again, into a one-piece trousered outfit not unlike that which Popov and the
spetznaz
officers had worn, although Natalia's was made of a silky blue material. He wasn't sure if she'd tried with make-up but if she had she'd failed: her eyes were hollowed and dark ringed and her face was pinched.

‘That's hardly surprising, in the circumstances.' She waved him to a chair. He didn't choose the one by the door this time. ‘I've got some Scotch. It isn't Islay.'

He smiled, briefly. ‘A long memory!'

‘About a lot of things. But just memories, Charlie.'

‘You already told me,' he acknowledged, disappointed she'd felt the need to reiterate the rejection. ‘And Scotch would be fine.'

He studied the room in her absence, caught again by the complete absence of anyone's occupation but her own, although she'd stressed Popov didn't live with her. At once Charlie extended the scrutiny. Sasha did live with her but there wasn't any trace of the child, either. Natalia had always been obsessively neat, chiding him for his untidiness. Memories, like Natalia had reminded; out-of-place memories. She carried wine back for herself. When she handed Charlie his glass she said, ‘The toast used to be “Death to the enemy.”'

‘It still is. They're just more difficult to find these days.'

Natalia settled herself on the couch where she'd sat with Sasha, leaning back as if she needed the support of the cushions. The whisky was smooth enough and Charlie began to relax, too. His initial doorway impression had been wrong. Tonight things were much easier. So far, at least.

‘Well?' Now that he was here – now that she had reversed all the resolutions – Natalia felt too tired to force things as they probably should have been forced. She wasn't sure any more that she would go through with it. She'd let him lead, maybe make up her mind as things went along.

‘I want to make a lot of things clear,' began Charlie. ‘I promise you I won't do anything to cause you any embarrassment. Or difficulty. You. Or Sasha.' Charlie paused, momentarily unable to say what he felt he had to. ‘She'll be Popov's daughter, if that's what you want …'

Natalia wasn't sure – not committed-for-the-rest-of-her-life sure – that's what she did want. Not that Charlie's reappearance affected any uncertainty. She
was
sure that was over. She knew she needed Charlie professionally and it was easy sitting here with him now and it would even have been pleasant imagining times like it in future. But what there had once been with Charlie could never be again. ‘You really mean that? … that you'd let Sasha think of someone else as her father?'

Charlie supposed that's what he did mean but it didn't sound right put as direct as that. ‘Popov's more to her than I am. Isn't that best for her?' He wasn't accustomed to selfless decision and didn't like this one.

‘Yes, but …'

‘And let's get something else clear. I didn't set out to force a confrontation between him and me this afternoon. There was nothing personal.' Charlie meant it, although it was the truth according to Charlie's rules. Popov had been shown up to be all the things Charlie had mentally labelled him and Charlie had felt then and felt now a satisfaction at having done it in front of Natalia.

Natalia pushed the fatigue away, making her decision, moving aside the wine that wasn't helping the tiredness. ‘I know. It was unnecessary: achieved nothing. I don't know why he did, not like that.'

‘It could have been personally difficult for you.' He never expected the reaction the remark achieved.

Natalia came abruptly forward, elbows on her knees. ‘I took a huge chance with you once, Charlie. More than once. Risked everything …'

‘ … I've said …'

‘… I'm not opening old wounds,' overrode Natalia, refusing his interruption in her anxiety to get out what she wanted to say. ‘You must be totally honest with me!'

‘I will be,' promised Charlie, hoping she believed him.

She hesitated, knowing she couldn't extract any assurance beyond that. ‘What are you here for? Here in Moscow?'

Charlie looked blankly at her. ‘You know what I'm doing here!'

‘Do I?'

Charlie understood. ‘It's all changed, Natalia. Like it's changed here. We're becoming like an FBI now. I'm here because of nuclear smuggling. That's all. I promise.'

She remained silent for several minutes, seeking the courage to say the words. ‘I'm going to take another chance. The risk isn't as great, not like before. I know I need help, your help, Charlie, if I'm to stay where I am. Which I have to do, for Sasha …' It wasn't coming out as she wanted. ‘You saw what it was like this afternoon. The resentment. And not just Aleksai. All of them. But they won't be held responsible for failure …'

‘Stop it …' Charlie halted just short of calling her darling. ‘Stop it, Natalia. You don't need to explain. You know you'll have everything … anything … you want.' It was instinctive for Charlie to think that to fulfil that undertaking he'd have to get everything from Natalia in return but he didn't feel embarrassed about it. Professionally, it put him in a spectacular position.

‘I'm trusting you again.'

‘I know that.' He caught the sad resignation in her voice.

‘Every time I've done it before you've let me down.'

‘I won't this time.'

‘You've got to mean that, Charlie.'

‘All I can tell you is that I
do
mean it and all I can do is ask you to believe me.'

‘It isn't that simple …' Natalia began.

‘Yes it is,' anticipated Charlie. ‘Aleksai will never know.
No one
will ever know.'

‘Now it's me being utterly selfish, thinking only of myself. Myself and Sasha.'

‘It's your turn.' Where the hell was he now? Professionally on the inside track, ahead of everyone. But personally it would need Machiavelli with a slide rule and compasses to work it out. He was going to do all he could to keep in power the mother of his child whom he'd just agreed to surrender to her new lover who couldn't be allowed to find out what was going on. It was almost too much for a soap opera novel. ‘Have you really thought it through?'

‘No,' Natalia admitted, honestly. ‘Neither have you.'

‘I don't have to.'

‘I know it won't be easy!' she accepted, abruptly belligerent. ‘Give me just one other choice!'

If he'd been able, Charlie wouldn't have told her. He wasn't offended by the obvious inference that if there
had
been another choice she would have taken it. ‘How strong is the resentment?'

‘Total, in most cases. Strong in others.'

‘So we could be excluded if our usefulness dries up?'

‘Of course,' agreed Natalia. ‘You always knew that, surely?'

‘It wouldn't be wise for you to protest.'

‘And I won't, unless I'm sure of the grounds for doing so.'

Had he not known and now trusted Natalia so completely, Charlie would have suspected this extraordinary episode to be a brilliant con trick for the Russians to close them out but at the same time learn everything being fed in from the West. ‘Don't, even if you think you are sure.'

Natalia
hadn't
thought through the complications of what she was asking. She shook her head in another abrupt mood change, this time despair. ‘It
won't
work, will it? If you and Kestler are kept out, how
can
I introduce something I've no way of knowing!'

She
was
too tired to think properly: if she hadn't been, perhaps she wouldn't have sought his help in the first place. ‘We'll make the approach in such a way they'll have to meet with us. It won't be down to Popov alone now, will it?'

‘Probably not,' said Natalia, uncertainly. She brightened. ‘I'm the official link between the operational group and the ministry and presidential secretariat.'

A mixed blessing for her, incredible for him! As the idea came to him, Charlie said, ‘But you
must
openly campaign for our inclusion, when I tell you.'

Natalia's exhausted reasoning was ebbing and flowing, each and every thought difficult to hold. There was an overwhelming relief, at there being someone upon whom she could rely. Trust
and
rely. The contradiction snatched at her. How could she feel relief and trust and reliance for someone who had so consistently let her down? She just
did
. Natalia didn't want to think or consider beyond that simple decision. ‘How?'

‘All you have to do is judge the moment. Which you will always be able to do, from what I tell you in advance. And from knowing who's going to be at your meetings.
Always
wait until Badim or Fomin or someone in higher authority is involved. At those sessions press as hard as you can for our inclusion. Your judgment, to those in authority, will be proven right, every time, because you'll know in advance everything we've got. And the opposition and resentment of those arguing against you will be proven wrong, every time. When there aren't people in higher authority, don't push. Wait.'

Natalia's relief became a blanket, the sort of blanket she wanted now to pull up over her and sleep. She stood, unsteadily, needing physical movement to keep herself awake. From the window she could just see the Gagarin monument where they'd both so hopefully waited, forever separated now by a nonsense of religious history. ‘
How
will you be able to tell me? You can't call the ministry. And here …'

‘… Popov will too often be,' Charlie completed for her. ‘I don't keep in touch with you. You keep in touch with me.'

Natalia turned from the tower block view, with another pendulum swing. ‘It
could
work, couldn't it?'

‘It
will
work,' guaranteed Charlie. Because he'd make it work; work better and more successfully than any scheme he'd ever orchestrated before. He'd fantasized of coming back to Moscow to care for her and for a child he didn't know. Now he was going to. Not in the way he'd imagined – what they were devising was beyond any imagination – but sufficient. Whatever followed – whatever could be built on – was a bonus. Natalia looked obviously at her watch and Charlie hurriedly said, ‘So let's start now.'