“The only change I made to the original design was I flipped the master bedroom with the garage.” He placed his hand on her lower back and led her to the door.
“We talked about that. You wanted the bedroom in the back for added privacy.”
She remembered.
“You’re right. I did. Open the door, though, and I think you’ll see why I switched it.”
“Oh my goodness,” Eva exclaimed as she gazed out of the window at the cityscape. “I had no idea your house was so high on the hill.” She walked closer to the glass. “Oh, Gio, you know how I love to look at the lights.”
He stood behind her and slid his arm around her waist, drawing them closer together. “We used to sit for hours on the roof of our dorm enjoying the view. Back then, I didn’t realize they had one way glass for residential use. We can see out, but no one can see in.”
“So that’s why you don’t have any curtains or blinds in here.”
He shrugged. “None needed.”
“I guess your habit of sleeping in until noon is over,” she teased.
“Yeah, I’m up with the sun. If I sleep in till eight, I feel like I’ve wasted half the day.”
“That’s quite the departure from our college days.” Eva sat on the corner of the bed and looked around the room.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve dreamed of having you in this room… In my bed.” He backed away from temptation and stood in the doorway.
“I will admit, I expected more of a dungeon-y bedroom set—at least a wrought iron headboard or chains or something.” She laughed.
Although she was teasing him, he suspected she was telling the truth, too. “Like I told you before, I don’t usually see women outside of Dom’s Place. I’ve been a little busy, first going to school then building my business.” He ducked his head, feeling awkward having to justify the fact that he wasn’t bringing women home and swinging them from the rafters. “Tell me something, Eva. Just how many men have you slept with besides me?”
Eva looked out of the window. “I’ll think I’ll take the fifth on that question.”
“You told me you don’t mix work and pleasure. Considering how hard you work, how many hours you spend doing your job, it doesn’t leave much time for dating. Therefore, I’m guessing it’s a very small number. You may have scened sometimes, but I don’t think you’ve had intercourse with very many men.”
“Would it make a difference if I had? Would it change how you feel about me, if I told you I’d slept with thirty-nine other men? That once you left and Rhonda introduced me to BDSM, I went a little wild? That I slept with every guy who showed an interest, just to prove I could?” She met and held his gaze.
Gio watched her closely. She was playing a game, but he wasn’t sure what it was. “No, it wouldn’t change how I feel… Well, that’s not entirely true. I’d feel like an even bigger piece of shit, if my behavior made you think you had something to prove.”
Oh, hold the bus!
He went to her then. “I
did
do that, didn’t I? That’s why you played the bitch in the hotel room the other night. You felt like you had to prove something to me… No, you had something to prove to yourself.” It all made sense now.
Tears fell down her cheeks as she nodded.
“No, Eva, it doesn’t matter how many men you’ve been with. Whether it’s thirty-nine or a hundred and thirty-nine, it doesn’t matter. You own my heart. You always have.” He took her in his arms and rocked her back and forth.
“Tell me about it, Eva.” He laid her down on the bed so she was facing the city lights and he slid in behind her. “Remember in college, we’d go up on the roof of the dorm and share that ratty, old chaise-longue we bought at a thrift store?” Only then would she really open up and talk about her fears.
“Yeah, those were good times.” She sounded a million miles away.
“Talk to me, Eva. Tell me what my leaving did to you.” He needed to know.
“I didn’t know what I’d done wrong.”
Keeping silent was one of the hardest things Gio had ever done, but he managed it and was rewarded for his efforts.
“I was afraid I wasn’t sexy enough or good enough in bed. I figured you didn’t want to spend your life in a lackluster marriage and you were too honorable to say so. When I went to the club with Rhonda, it was a real eye opener… It reinforced my fears. I really did suck in bed.” She spoke in a rush, as if she was eager to get it off her chest.
“No, sweetheart.” He kissed her neck and brushed away her tears. “You were perfect and you still are. This whole mess was my fault.”
“Gio… I haven’t slept with anyone else. I wanted to. I wanted someone to take the hurt away, but I was too afraid they’d walk out on me too,” she confessed quietly.
“Oh, Eva. How can you ever forgive me?” Gio’s heart was breaking. The last person in the world he’d wanted to hurt was Eva. “No wonder you didn’t want me to hold you. You must hate me.”
“I don’t hate you.”
Her voice was monotone and without any emotion. Frankly, it scared the hell out of him. He’d rather she be angry at him. “Maybe you should.”
“I wanted to kill myself. I had it planned,” she whispered.
His throat constricted and he couldn’t breathe. “Don’t say that. Don’t even think it, ever again.” He pulled her onto her back so he could see her face. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.
“Gio, I can’t go through that again. I have to get my head straight before I can consider us starting a real relationship. So much has happened in the last few days…” Her voice trailed off and she stood up.
“Stay with me tonight, Eva. I promise nothing will happen. I just want to hold you.” He was afraid if he let her go he’d never get her back.
“I can’t, Gio.” She walked to the door.
“Why, Eva? Why won’t you let me hold you tonight?” He wanted to pull her back, to tie her to the bed and never let her go.
“Because I want it too much.”
* * * *
Eva slept well for the first time in forever. She’d intended to spend the night thinking, but as soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out. For all the sleep she’d gotten, she still had damn poor concentration at work. Gio had texted her several times and she’d agreed to visit his club this evening.
While her students had been in art class she’d examined her hesitancy from all angles. She wasn’t proud of what she’d found. It would be nice to lay it off on Gio but the truth was that if she were stronger, she’d be able to handle whatever life threw at her.
The day had been a whirl and now Gio was going to pick her up at any minute. She didn’t have any more answers now than she had when she’d left his home the night before.
Seeing his house, lying together watching the city lights—it had brought back so many memories, both good and bad. For the longest time, she’d tried to shut them all out. She couldn’t remember the good times without reliving the bad.
She was so nervous. Although she’d met his family at the wedding, she’d been fully clothed and it hadn’t been a sexual environment. The idea of scening with his family around was so awkward. She just didn’t know if she could go through with it. If the situation had been different, they’d be her in-laws now. Hell, if she mustered the courage, it could still happen.
Eva picked up her cell phone. Maybe she should cancel now rather than embarrass them both in front of his family and friends. She brought up her texting app and began her message when the doorbell rang.
Damn it. It was too late.
She tossed her phone into her purse and answered the door. Gio’s imposing frame filled her little studio apartment, reminding her just how large and spacious his home was compared to her little place.
“Please sit down. Can I get you anything?” Her manners were on autopilot.
Gio gave her a peck on the cheek. “No, thanks. Are you ready to go?”
Eva plopped down on the couch. “Not really.”
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He sat on the edge beside her and laid his hand on her knee.
“I don’t think I can do this.” She didn’t want to disappoint him but with each passing moment, she was that much closer to a panic attack.
“What do you mean, Eva? What can’t you do?” The vein in his neck bulged.
“Your family is going to be there, Gio. I can’t scene in front of your parents.”
A weird expression appeared on his face and she could tell he was trying not to smile. “You scared me for a minute. I thought… Never mind. I know my family can be a bit daunting, but believe me, they’ve seen it all before.”
She shook her head. “No, Gio, I’m serious. I can’t. I would die if they saw me naked.”
“Come here.” He patted his lap.
Eva went to him and rested her head against his shoulder.
“What else concerns you?” he asked softly.
“Gio, your parents aren’t my peers. They’re my elders. I’m just not comfortable being naked or aroused in their company. I know sex is natural and all that…” She didn’t know how to explain it. It just felt wrong.
He held her tight and rocked her back and forth. “Shh. It’s okay. How about we tour the club and just hang out? We’ll play everything else by ear. If you are uncomfortable, we’ll leave.”
“I’m going to embarrass you, Gio. You told me your parents are big on protocols and I only know the most basic. Don’t ask me to do this,” she begged.
“Sweetheart, you could never embarrass me.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be honest, though, I had something special planned for this evening. I think I can keep it non-arousing and your attire won’t impact the surprise. Are you willing to trust me?”
“Gio,” Eva groaned. “You’re killing me.”
He laughed. “No, I keep telling you that I’m loving you. There’s a big difference. Besides, my family is an acquired taste. They kind of grow on you…like mold on cheese.”
“That’s not very reassuring,” she chided him. “Gio, we both know that my behavior reflects on you. What if I do or say something wrong?”
Gio tipped her chin upward until their eyes met. “I have zero concerns about this. Trust me. If a situation arises that calls for a certain action, I promise to give you very detailed instructions. It will be okay, Eva. Let me show you.”
A submissive was a reflection of their Dominant. “I know subs are reprimanded all the time—disciplined and punished when they don’t follow protocol—and, theoretically, I’m okay with that. But, Gio, if you call me out in front of your friends or family… I don’t think I could take it. These aren’t just strangers I’ll never see again.” He didn’t understand what she was trying to tell him. If she made him look bad, she’d never forgive herself.
As she looked for a way to make him see reason, she realized she was really boxing him into a corner. She was taking away his ability to save face. If she messed up, it was his job to correct her. Yet, she had just told him he couldn’t do that.
Fuck.
What was she doing to him? “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Do what you have to do and I’ll deal with it.”
“Stop. You’re overthinking and making yourself crazy.”
He’d used his Dom voice. The one that made her wet. “I do that sometimes,” she admitted.
He looked her steadily in the eye. “You always did. Do you think a nice hard ass beating would give you something else to focus on?”
Oh shit.
She remembered what it had felt like as the belt landed across her skin. It had hurt so fucking bad. “Are you punishing me?”
“Did you do something you were told not to?” he asked patiently.
“No, I don’t think so.” She hadn’t done anything to purposely upset him.
“Then there’s nothing to punish you for. I’m offering an intimate activity that will help center your thoughts. And make no mistake, Eva… When we scene together, it’s always intimate.”
She remembered her spiteful comment in the privacy room. “You’re right. I’m sorry I said that.”
He nodded. “Are you going to take me up on my offer, even though we’re not at a club?”
“Yes.” The emotional barriers she had tried to keep between them were tumbling down at an astonishing rate. “I’ve changed my mind. A club isn’t necessary.”
“Then ask me. Be specific. Tell me exactly what you want.”
Oh, damn.
He wasn’t going to make this easy on her. “Sir, will you please turn me over your knee and spank me with your hand?”
“The only thing you left out was the quantity, but that’s not a problem. I’ll be happy to fill that in for you. We’ll stop when your ass is cherry red and burning hot.”
She licked her lips, hoping to moisten her suddenly dry mouth. “Thank you, Sir.”
“Stand between my legs.” He met her gaze.
A fine tremor ran the length of her and she found it hard to control her breathing, as she followed his direction.
With a hand on her tummy and one on her back, he positioned her on his left thigh, locking his right leg over hers, before raising her skirt. “Stockings and no panties, very nice. Six years ago, did you ever believe you’d leave the house like this?”
“No.” She chuckled. “Back then I wore panties under my pantyhose.”
His hand caressed her naked flesh and goose bumps ran up her back.
“Such a perfect ass. The only thing it needs is a change in color. We’ll start with a blushing pink then work our way up to fire engine red.”
It wasn’t fair that he could heat her up with just his words and a light touch, but she liked it.
The first few smacks were little more than love pats. She cradled her head over her arms and began to relax. Slowly, he increased the intensity until the thoughts in her head faded away. All she could think about was Gio, how the corded muscles of his thigh felt against her tummy, how his left arm rested over her back and his hand protected her tailbone from each swat.
When his hand drifted between her legs, she immediately opened for him. There was no doubt that she was wet. It took every ounce of self-control she could muster not to grind her pussy against him. As his fingers teased her clit, she gasped and arched her back.
With his touch driving her insane, she began to buck her hips. She was close to coming when she heard him chuckle and draw his hand away. “You’re trying to be a naughty girl and steal an orgasm. It’s not going to happen. If you want to come, it will have to wait until after we leave the club.”