As though realising he was thinking aloud, he spun round to tell her, ‘So don’t you ever punish yourself over the sister you once had. She’s gone. The Judy we knew does not exist any more.’
‘I never knew you went back,’ she said. ‘Why didn’t you tell us?’
‘No need really. It was just to satisfy myself that I really did see Judy at her worst, and that I hadn’t imagined it.’ He made a gruff noise from the depths of his throat. ‘I did not imagine it though. I saw how she had turned out, and now I never want to see her, or hear of her again.’
‘I do understand what you’re saying,’ Nancy was quick to acknowledge. ‘It’s just that, well … sometimes I wonder
about her. Why did she turn out like that? When we were girls together, she was good to be with. She was kind and lovely, and so funny, she made me laugh. And then she changed – became secretive and sullen. I just couldn’t get though to her any more.’
Blocking out the good memories, she asked, ‘What made her go bad? Why did she turn out wild and wanton like that? We were always a respectable
family, and she spoiled it all. She made it impossible for us to stay in the neighbourhood. We had to move away, and it was all Judy’s fault.’
‘Let it go, Nancy.’
But his elder daughter couldn’t. ‘One minute she was a happy girl, looking forward to the future, and then she was all moody
and quiet, and so aggressive, she frightened me. I just don’t understand why!’
Standing up from the swing,
Don told her firmly, ‘I said I never wanted to hear her name again! I mean it, Nancy. I thought we agreed?’
Nancy patted the seat beside her. ‘Come and sit down, Dad,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry. It’s just … well, seeing Sammie going out of our lives like that, it just seems like the family is falling apart all over again.’
‘Nonsense.’ He sat down again. ‘What happened to Judy was a totally different
matter. I can’t see that ever happening again. Trust me, Nancy, this family is as strong as ever. It’s just that Sammie is growing up. She’s flexing her wings, that’s all.’
Nancy nodded. Deep down she knew he was right, but she still felt uneasy, afraid. ‘I suppose it’s just that when a bird flies its nest, the nest seems that much emptier, doesn’t it?’ she asked.
‘That’s exactly right. That’s
all it is.’
‘Do you think Sammie will ever come back home?’
‘Maybe not for ever, because that wouldn’t be right – but even birds that have flown come back to the nest sometimes.’
They spent a few more minutes swinging together and talking, until Nancy decided on something. ‘I’ve got to go,’ she said.
‘Go where?’ Don objected. ‘You can spare a few more minutes with your old dad, and your old
dog, can’t you?’
Nancy was already on her way to the house. ‘Maybe later!’ she said over her shoulder. ‘Shan’t be too long.’
She ran into the house and on up the stairs, and in her bedroom she grew both excited and troubled. ‘Got to do it.’ She drew her shoes out from the wardrobe. ‘I have to see her,’ she muttered feverishly. ‘I have to talk with her.’
Don was making his way back to the house
when he saw her. ‘So you’re off out then?’ He strolled across to the car. ‘When you get back, how d’you fancy taking the dog for a walk, eh? Blow away the cobwebs, so to speak. Being as you’ve got yourself all wound up over Sammie, I reckon it’ll take your mind off things.’ Lottie barked loudly, as if to agree, and they both chuckled. Nancy leaned forwards to pet the dog’s huge, blunt head.
‘Thanks, Dad. I won’t be long.’
‘Take care then, love.’
‘And you.’ She felt ashamed, knowing she was doing something he would not approve of. ‘I’ll be quick as I can.’
‘Where are you off to?’
She pretended not to hear him. ‘Bye then.’
Don waved her off. ‘I don’t know, old lass.’ He talked to the dog as they ambled back. ‘We’ve been deserted again.’ He shook his head, gave a sigh, and followed
Lottie to the kitchen, where he set about making himself a pot of tea. ‘She’s promised to take us out for that walk when she gets back,’ he advised the elderly bull terrier. ‘We shall just have to settle for that.’
While the dog munched her biscuits, Don sat back in his chair, sipping his tea and enjoying a couple of biscuits of his own, out of the biscuit barrel. ‘It don’t matter who comes or
goes, this family is rock-solid,’ he declared, dipping a Rich Tea finger in the brew and cursing when it disintegrated.
Kathleen was weary. Having spent some considerable time knocking and getting no response, she stooped to the letter-box, at the entrance to the flat in Jackson Street, opened it up and shouted through the slit. ‘Judy, will ye please talk to me, sweetheart. Sure, I only want
to help.’
No answer.
‘Judy, I know you’re in there so will ye open the door. Please me darlin’. Open the door for the love of God!’
Still no answer.
Wondering what to do next, Kathleen hoisted herself up and leaned against the wall. ‘I know she’s in there,’ she muttered to herself. ‘Somehow or another, I have to make her answer, so I do!’
Weary and cold, she tried once more. ‘Judy, listen
to me. I know how unhappy you are, and I want to help! Open the door and come home with me, Judy, and we’ll sort it out.’
The house was quiet. Kathleen could hear no sign of movement, though she had an instinct that Judy was listening to her every word.
‘All right, me darlin’.’ She leaned forward, opened the letter-box yet again and put her mouth close, her voice quieter, more persuasive. ‘Harry
loves ye, so he does. We want to take care of you and the child. We have an idea of what’s going on here, and Harry wants to help. I have to say, he was all for coming down here and sorting things out, but I thought it best if I got here first … just you and me, and no one else. Open the door, me darlin’. Please!’
Silence!
Weary but undeterred, Kathleen went on, ‘It isn’t your fault. Phil
Saunders
is a dangerous man. He won’t stop till he has you so frightened of him, you will never be able to escape. This is your chance to be rid of him once and for all. Listen to me, Judy. Let Harry take care of you and the child. We love you. Harry has never stopped loving you.’
Pausing a moment, she listened. ‘I know you can hear me,’ she said. ‘I’m sure I saw you at the window when I came earlier.
I’m here to help you, Judy. You must believe that.’
The silence was unbearable.
Wiping her two hands over her face, Kathleen murmured, ‘I’m worn out. Me old legs ache, and I’m shivering like a good ’un. You’re in there, I know you are. Why won’t you answer me?’
Growing angry, she tried again. ‘That’s it! If you won’t let me help, there is nothing I can do. I’ve begged and pleaded, and you just
ignore me!’
The anger subsided. ‘Oh, come on, me darlin’! Please won’t you open the door? Trust me. You know I would never lie to you, or do anything that might hurt you. If you come out now, we’ll go and collect the child, wherever it is. We’ll all go back to my house and when Harry comes home, we’ll decide what to do. We won’t let Saunders get his hands on you again. Sure, neither of us will
ever let that happen.’
For one fleeting moment, she imagined she heard a noise. When the silence fell again, she gave it her last shot. ‘I can hear you in there,’ she said through the letter-box. ‘Judy, be sensible. Let’s go back home to mine, where
he
will never find you. That’s all I’m asking of you. We won’t let him hurt either of you again. He won’t even know where we are. Oh Judy, please!
Why will you not listen to me?’
The silence deepened. ‘That’s it!’ Kathleen had had enough. ‘I’m away now! Are you listening?’
Still nothing.
‘I’ll be back, lady, make no mistake about it! I intend coming back, tomorrow and the day after, and the day after that – in fact, every day until you open this door! D’ye hear me? I won’t give up. One way or another, I mean to put an end to this situation,
once and for all!’
When the rain started pouring down, and her pleas still drew no response, she bent her head to the letter-box again, ‘I love you,’ she whispered, ‘Harry loves you too. I want you to know that, my darling.’
Drawing her scarf further over her head, the little Irishwoman put up her coat collar, and went away down the steps.
Across the road, Nancy remained in her car. She had
been there just long enough to hear Kathleen threaten to ‘
put an end to this situation once and for all!
’
She had a fleeting suspicion that she had seen the woman before, but focusing on the more important issues, she dismissed the idea. What on earth had Judy done, to make her so angry? She recalled how her father had described Judy as being violent; fighting in the street with a crazy-drunk
man.
She must have done something terrible to make that woman hammer on her door like that, she reasoned. Had she stolen from her? Did she break into her house and threaten her? Did Judy and that crazy-drunk man attack her husband?
Another horrific possibility rose to mind. ‘My God! What if Judy’s taken to recruiting women and girls into prostitution?’ she breathed. Maybe that woman’s daughter
or granddaughter was part of it, and that was why the woman was so desperate. Because of the depths to which Judy had apparently sunk, Nancy thought it was not beyond the realms of possibility.
She waited a while, watching, wondering.
After a few minutes her decision was made. ‘It was a mistake to come here,’ she told herself. ‘Dad was right. Judy is the bad apple in the barrel … rotten right
through.’
Having only been there a few minutes with the engine running, she slammed into gear and raced off down the street. ‘I had to try,’ she said aloud. ‘But I won’t try again.’
Inside the house, Judy remained crouched behind the sitting-room door; she reached for the beer bottle beside her and took a long, deep swig. The liquid helped her forget. It dulled her senses.
She began to shiver
with cold, then she was giggling. ‘He’s won,’ she shouted at the top of her voice. ‘Phil Saunders always wins!’
She took another swig, then pulled herself up to the letter-box and peeked out. ‘She’s gone away,’ she whispered sadly, as though talking to someone beside her. ‘Kathleen’s gone away.’
Then followed the heart-breaking sobbing. ‘I couldn’t even tell her,’ she cried brokenly. ‘How could
I tell her about the baby? How could I tell her I didn’t have a child?’ She began shouting. ‘THERE IS NO CHILD, KATHLEEN! NO CHILD! IT’S GONE! DID YOU HEAR ME? THE CHILD IS GONE!’
She rolled herself into the corner, where she curled up into a little nothing, sobbing as though she would never stop. Then suddenly she was quiet; a deathly, awful quiet.
Steadying herself, she looked around – at
the old sofa that still adorned the room, and the curtains, so grim and dusty they shut out the light. The room looked just like she felt. It was cold and empty, dark with sadness. Dead, just like her.
But she didn’t care. Why should she?
With a supreme effort, she dragged herself to the bedroom, where she managed to pull herself onto the bed, and there she lay, out to the world, a lost and
lonely young woman who carried the weight of the world on her small shoulders.
Racked with guilt, and plagued by shocking secrets she could never tell, she dared not let anyone else share the burden she carried.
Walking up the path to her little house, Katheen could not get Judy out of her mind. ‘She was there, I know it,’ she said aloud. ‘Why would she not answer the door?’
Putting her
key in the lock, she had an idea. ‘She has to show herself sometime. Maybe the best thing is to leave it till the afternoon.’ She decided to give it a try; even if it took several days to worm Judy out, it would be more than worth it in the end.
As she came into the sitting room, the sound of the telephone made her almost leap out of her skin. ‘Blessed thing!’ She had never really got used to
it. Gingerly lifting the receiver off its cradle, she asked nervously, ‘Hello. Who is it, please?’
‘It’s me.’ Harry’s voice came through. ‘Is everything all right?’
‘Oh, Harry! Yes, yes, everything is fine. How lovely to hear your voice.’ She chose not to tell him about her unsuccessful escapade. ‘So, what’s happening?’
She listened a while longer. ‘Oh, I see. Yes, very well, I’ll see you then.
Take care of yourselves and please give Tom a cuddle for me. Bye, love. Drive carefully.’
She replaced the receiver, then she took off her damp coat and went to make herself a cup of tea.
While seated at the kitchen table, her thoughts went back to Judy. ‘I can’t leave you with that man,’ she murmured. ‘I’m so afraid for you, Judy.’ She took another sip of her tea. ‘It’s a blessing that Harry
won’t be home until late. That way he can’t be out looking for Saunders. It means I’ve got a bit more time to get you away from that bad bugger.’
She gasped at her use of bad language. ‘Oh! Kathleen O’Leary!’
She quickly made the sign of the cross on herself. ‘May you be forgiven.’
As for Saunders … what would he do when he found Judy gone, she wondered? ‘When we manage to get her away, we’d
best be sure we don’t say too much about it to anyone outside the family. Walls have ears,’ she muttered fearfully.
From what she had seen and heard, it was obvious that Saunders looked on Judy as his property, bought and paid for.
‘Phil Saunders was a bad boy,’ she murmured, ‘and now that he’s all grown up, it seems he’s turned out to be a bad man.’
She lifted her cup to her mouth, took a
long invigorating sip, then another, before she put the cup down.
Going into the sitting room, she fell into a chair and kicked her shoes off, groaning, ‘Oh, that’s lovely.’
Within few minutes, she was hard and fast asleep.
On a rare day, she truly felt her age. And whichever way you looked at it, today had been a long and tiring one.
Later in the day, some hours after Katheen had gone,
Phil Saunders turned into the street.
‘Evening, Phil.’ The man was both a mate and a neighbour. ‘What you been up to then, eh?’ Striding alongside him, the man gave a knowing wink.
‘What the devil d’you think I’ve been up to?’ Phil snapped back irritably. ‘I’ve been working my arse off as usual. Why? What have
you
been doing? Rummaging about in the rubbish tips, same as always?’