Authors: Christine Rimmer
“
Oh, Joe.” She bit her lip. “How can I do this to you? You’ve always sworn you never wanted marriage, and yet here you are, trying to do the right thing by a woman who chased you for twenty years, and then just
happened
to get pregnant the first time you made love with her.”
“
The condoms were too old,” he said levelly. “I thought so even then. But I wanted you, so I took a chance.”
“
I had my doubts about them, too.”
“
So we were both a little bit to blame.”
“
Joe, I made a big deal about how it was my ‘safe time’—”
“
Was it?”
“
Yes, but-”
“
So you told the truth. And nature overrode you. Maybe we both should have been wiser, but we weren’t. It was
both
of our faults. So we’ll get married and share the responsibility for what we created.’’
“
Oh, Joe. It wouldn’t be fair to you. I’ve always known where you stand on the subject of marriage. I asked you to marry me twice, remember? Both times you said you would never get married—or bring innocent children into a rotten world like this is.”
He shook his head. “You still don’t get the whole picture, do you?” He hitched a leg on the railing, folded his
hands on his knee and looked down at them. “But, hell, why should you? I’ve spent twenty damn years trying to keep you from seeing it.”
“
What?”
He looked up at her, and then he rose and came to sit beside her again. She felt the warmth of him, the strength, and she had to steel herself not to lean against him. She turned her head enough so that she could stare off over the trees again.
“
Look at me, okay?”
“
Okay.” She met his eyes.
He admitted, “Yes, I’ve always said I wouldn’t bring a kid into a world like this one. But now the kid is coming in spite of what I said. It’s a done deal—and I’m finding it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea after all. The last few days I’ve been thinking it over. And I’ve decided that after what I had as a kid, I want
my
kid to have a hell of a lot more. And I think, between the two of us, we can give him—or her—more. So you’re right, at least partly. I do want to marry you so our baby will have two parents, just like your mother said. But, damn it, Claire. Even if there was no baby...” His voice, for the first time that evening, seemed to fail him.
Claire stared at him. She sensed what was coming. But how dare she actually believe it? “What? What? Oh, Joe, do you mean—?”
“
Hell, I...”
“
Yeah?”
“
Well, all these years, while I’ve been constantly reminding you that we are
friends
and no more, I’ve been...”
Claire realized she was holding her breath. She let it out slowly. “You’ve been what?”
And he said it. “I’ve been in love with you.”
Pure joy flooded her then, and this time it didn’t fade.
Joe continued, “But I’ve always known you could do a hell of lot better than a guy like—”
“
Don’t say it.” She pressed her fingers to his lips. “Don’t ever say it again. There
is
no one better. You are good, and loyal and strong and kind. You’re the man I love.”
He shrugged. “Whatever.”
She frowned. “ ‘Whatever.’ What is that supposed to mean?”
At last he reached for her, pulling her close, urgent, but also careful of her injured shoulder. He spoke against her hair. “It means I’m through fighting it. It means, after twenty years, I’ve finally given up trying to convince you to stop loving me. I surrender, Claire.” He pulled back enough that she could see his face. “We are much more than friends. We’re lovers, and soon we’ll be husband and wife. And then, before you know it, God help us, there’ll be this kid looking up at us, calling us Mom and Dad. That’s how it is. Learn to live with it, okay?”
“
Yes,” she murmured. “Yes, yes, yes...” Her hands slid up to circle his neck.
He kissed her. For a brief eternity, there was nothing else in the world but the night and two lovers and the sweet promise of their desire.
At last, though, the kiss came to an end.
“
I want us to be married right away,” he told her. “And I’ve been checking into becoming the police academy’s oldest living graduate. Brawley’s going to help me. What do you think of that?”
“
I think it’s good. Wonderful. Terrific.”
“
I’m glad.” He looked at her tenderly for a moment, then continued. “I’ve got some money put aside, not a lot, but some. It’ll be a challenge, I know—newly married, with a baby coming, and there you’ll be, with your husband off in school. But I think we can manage, somehow.”
His expression turned rueful. “I can’t offer you a perfect, mapped-out life, Claire. I wish to hell I could. But, damn it, I love you. And the time has passed when I can make myself leave you alone. So maybe we should just accept this... thing between us, and get on with our lives.”
She grinned at him. “Joe, you can stop convincing me. I said yes five minutes ago.”
With a muttered, “Thank God,” he grabbed her close once more.
Claire melted against him, at last allowing herself to believe that it had all come out right after all. Their baby would have his time of innocence, protected by two people who loved him with all their hearts. And she would spend the rest of her life where she’d always longed to be: at Joe Tally’s side.
The world was as she had always believed. A place of beauty and goodness—if a person was willing to seek the goodness. And to fight for it against all odds.