Ryn squeezed him on the arm. “Get better fast. I won’t keep your empire straight for Drake.”
Darling had no doubt about that. The two of them had never gotten along. They were way too much alike. And he’d spent his entire life attempting to make peace between them.
Closing his eyes, he savored the silence even though he missed Zarya in a way that was inhuman. She was his breath.
His heart.
His…
He opened his eyes, but it was too late. The Trisani in him that was so unpredictable had already seen a glimpse of the future. A future that terrified him.
It wasn’t his death he’d seen.
It was Zarya’s. And unlike Nero, he didn’t see multiple outcomes.
He only saw the one and that meant it would happen without fail…
Alone in Zarya’s dark room, Darling frowned at her empty bed. As soon as Syn had given him medical clearance to leave the hospital and he’d finally come to terms with the surgery’s results and accepted them as best he could, he’d headed straight home to find her.
But she wasn’t here.
Sad disappointment overwhelmed him. Her room looked as if no one had been in it at all. And that left him feeling as empty as her bed. Absolutely desolate. It was like a part of him was gone, too. And the hole it left inside him ran all the way to his soul.
Where is she?
Sadness turned to panic as he realized that there was no sign of her clothes or anything else to suggest that she’d returned home after she left him in the hospital. A bad feeling rushed through him as he remembered his premonition of Zarya being killed.
Could they have been attacked?
Was Maris missing, too?
Visions of Annalise’s brutal assault went through his mind. Only the image of his sister lying on the ground, soaked in her
own blood, turned to one of Maris and Zarya. He struggled to breathe through the pain of it.
Why hadn’t he thought to check on them?
You stupid, self-absorbed bastard
… He should never have allowed them to leave without him. He should have kept them by his side so that he would know they were safe.
Damn you, Ryn.
If he’d allowed them to get hurt…
I’ll kill you this time. I swear it!
Calm down, Dar. Don’t jump to conclusions.
After all, it was the middle of the night here. Yes, her room was empty, but maybe it was nothing bad.
Maybe, she was…
His searching gaze went to the door that connected their rooms. Could she be in his bed, instead? It seemed like a long shot, and yet…
His heart hammering, he crossed the room and pushed the door open. Gripping the knob for support, he stood absolutely still as a slow smile curled his lips. Relief hit him so hard that he thought for a minute his knees might give out.
Lying curled in the center of his giant bed, Zarya looked tiny in comparison. Her long dark hair fanned out across his pillows while her faint snore warmed him.
See, dumbass. She’s fine.
Best of all, she was still here.
He glanced around his room, taking in all of the extremely feminine personal items she’d invaded his masculine domain with over the last few weeks. It’d started out small… a pink hairbrush on his dresser and flowered toothbrush in his bathroom, followed by a few elastic headbands she used at night to pull her hair back whenever she washed her face or read to him. Then the small collection of flavored glitter lip balms that lay on a tray beside his
bed. Her scented lotions and his favorite perfume that she wore for no other reason than to make him crazy with lust. Even some of her shoes were strewn near his bed.
And she’d draped one of her sheer nightgowns and a frilly pink robe over his navy settee. An image of her wearing the gown electrified every hormone in his body.
That thought pushed his relief away as desire burned through him. He closed the door and slowly crossed the room to his bed, undressing himself as he walked.
Zarya sighed contentedly at the sensation of a warm, naked male body pressing up against hers. Mmm, she’d always loved the way Darling felt whenever he snuggled behind her at night.
Until she remembered the fact that Darling wasn’t home. He was still at the hospital.
Who was in her bed?
Her eyes flew open as fear and anger mixed inside her. With a warning hiss, she started to turn over only to have that lean, ripped body tighten around hers, pinning her to the mattress.
“Sh,
misa
, it’s me,” Darling breathed in her ear, using the Caronese word that meant “my most precious one.” Her throat tightened. The surgeries had done nothing to change his damaged throat at all. In a way, she missed the refined, melodic cadence of the voice she’d fallen in love with. But she was getting used to his gruffer tone. The only drawback was that it often caused him to sound angry even when he wasn’t.
She covered his hand with hers. “I’m going to beat you if you don’t stop sneaking in on me like that.” His warm, masculine scent should have told her instantly who it was, but still…
“I’m sorry.” He nuzzled his face against her hair. “I didn’t want to wake you at all.” She might believe him if he wasn’t teasing her nipple with his thumb through the black shirt she wore, and if
a certain extremely hard part of his body wasn’t resting against her hip.
She reached for the lamp, but he stopped her.
“I want to hold you like I used to. Before there was any kind of hurt between us. When it was just you and me in the dark. No past. No pain. Just two people who were madly in love with each other.”
“I’m still madly in love with you.”
He didn’t respond to her words. Instead, he nibbled her earlobe while he unbuttoned her shirt and spread it open so that he could cup her breast in his warm palm. “So why are you sleeping in my bed and not yours?”
Closing her eyes, she savored the way he felt holding her. “The same reason I’m wearing your shirt. I missed you too much to sleep in my room. In here, I can feel your presence and pretend that you’re with me and not far away.” She buried her face against his pillows. “I can smell you, too.”
And she’d wrapped herself up in his shirt to feel as close to him as she could without his being home. While it wasn’t the same as being held by him, it’d been a close substitution, and one that had allowed her to finally go to sleep. Honestly, it scared her just how much he meant to her. How much it hurt when he wasn’t here.
For hours after her return, she’d wandered around the palace like a grieving spirit. Aching. Lonely. Terrified of what would happen to her if he didn’t return. She couldn’t imagine a life without him in it. She couldn’t. The mere thought of losing him was enough to make her hysterical.
How could any man wreak such havoc with her sanity?
He trailed his hand over her hip and stomach until he found the most private part of her body. Zarya sucked her breath in sharply while his fingers delved deep inside her. He nuzzled his face against her shoulder, scraping her skin with his whiskers as he removed his
shirt from her body. She’d grown so used to his beard that it was strange to feel his skin on hers again.
“Can I see you?”
“Not yet,” he said gruffly. “I’m not ready. I’d rather make love to you like we used to.”
In the dark where she couldn’t see him at all.
Her heart sank. Poor Darling. The surgery must not have worked. Tears gathered in her eyes as she ached for him. “I don’t care what you look like.”
“I know.” He rolled her over onto her back, then he took her breast into his mouth. Her stomach fluttered with every stroke of his tongue. Gods, how did he manage to do that? She reached to cup his face, but he caught her hands in his, then lifted them over her head so that she couldn’t touch him.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
His lips tickled her as he smiled against her skin. “I know what you’re up to. You were trying to feel my features.”
Heat scalded her cheeks at having been caught. He was right. “So I’m not to touch you?”
“Not yet.” He continued to trail his lips over her flesh, blazing a hot trail everywhere he went.
Her body on fire, Zarya moaned out loud at how good he felt as he moved lower, down her belly and to her thigh. He nudged her legs apart. She bent her knees and opened herself up for him.
He nipped her thigh before he took her into his mouth. Her senses reeled as he licked and teased until she could barely stand it. Arching her back, she reached over her head to grip his headboard. Still, he tortured her with absolute pleasure.
A few seconds later, she cried out as her release came so fast and powerful that it made her shake all over.
Darling laughed as he continued to wring every last spasm out of her.
She expected him to enter her then, but he didn’t. Instead, he took his time teasing and licking every inch of her flesh. It was as if he was starving and she was the only thing that could satiate his hunger.
Her heart thundering, she reached to cup him. This time, he didn’t stop her.
He sucked his breath in sharply against her ear while she explored every inch of his hard cock with her fingers. For a full minute, he rocked himself against her hand. Then, he pulled away and rolled her over, onto her stomach. He pulled the largest pillow under her hips, lifting her up.
“Now what are you doing?”
His answer came as he gently spread her legs and returned to teasing her with his mouth and fingers. She shuddered with every lick and stroke. She wanted to touch him so badly, but in this position, she couldn’t reach his body at all.
She cried out loud as he made her entire body hot and alive. He felt so incredibly good. His tongue flicked around and into her over and over until she couldn’t stand it anymore. She came again, even more fiercely than she had the first time.
Still, he continued until she was weak with ecstasy. She started to move to touch him, but he stopped her. “I need you inside me, baby. Please.”
Darling savored the sound of those words on her lips. No one had ever made him feel the way she did.
Like he mattered. Like she missed him whenever he wasn’t around. It was stupid, he knew. But so few people had ever loved him at all.
The fact that she’d wrapped herself up in his shirt and bed…
He wanted to give her everything. To make her so happy that she never regretted being his. For the whole of his life, he’d been resented and begrudged by those around him. No matter what
he’d done or sacrificed for others, it’d never been enough to make his family happy. Most of the time, they’d used his actions as a reason to hate or curse him.
But not Zarya.
She saw not only the real him, but what he wasn’t, and she loved him for it. It made no sense whatsoever. She baffled him at every turn. Sometimes she even infuriated him. And right now, he wanted to wrap himself up in her arms and never leave them.
He nipped her buttocks before he laid himself over her and entered her from behind. She cried out as he went deep inside her warmth.
Darling sucked his breath in sharply at how good she felt under him. He didn’t know what it was about her, but she made him feel so possessive and protective. She was his and he never wanted to share even a nanosecond of her with anyone else. He buried his face against her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her skin and hair.