"Maybe."
As if she had been ignored long enough, Casie sent up a protest. Stepping away from one another almost awkwardly, they turned toward the baby on the bed.
Liz tickled the baby's tummy. Tiny booted feet kicked in pleasure. "I think she was jealous."
"There's nothing to be jealous of," he retorted a bit too quickly.
"We'll work on it," she promised with a wink.
The kiss they had shared had opened up channels and raised more questions for Liz than it had answered. One thing she was certain of, this was not a passionless man. Just one, she sensed, who had been hurt by something or someone and now was bound and determined that it wouldn't happen again.
She had no intention of hurting him. But she was going to get close. He intrigued her too much for her to turn away now.
Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Liz picked Casie up and handed the squirming baby to Griff. "Here."
He held his arms out and accepted the infant as if he had been passed a sack of grain.
"No, no, no." Liz shook her head. "It's a baby, not a bomb, Griff."
"A lot you know," he muttered.
"Yes, I do," she agreed.
He had a sinking feeling that she was going to begin expounding upon the topic right then and there. Instead, she took the baby back. Had she changed her mind about keeping Casie overnight?
His hopes died when she held Casie out to him again. "Now take her into your arms the way you would something precious." His hold on the small child was just as stiff as before. "Did you ever have a pet kitten?"
"No."
She hadn't expected a negative answer. She had had four cats. And three dogs. She tried again. "A
puppy?"
"No."
Liz cocked her head, studying him in wonder. "Didn't you have any pets?"
"What does that have to do with it?" he asked impatiently.
"A lot, I'm beginning to think." Her expression had grown serious. Maybe he'd never had to take care of anything before. In that case, she'd have to go slower. "Touching is part of bonding."
"I don't want to bond, I just want to take her home."
That last part wasn't exactly true, but she was his responsibility for the time being and he refused to shirk his responsibilities. He looked around the room. "Where's her chair?" "You mean her infant seat?" He nodded shortly. "Whatever." "In the living room." Shaking her head, she led the way out. He was going to take more time than her German shepherd had, she decided. She pointed to the seat on the floor. "Want to carry her in that?" "Yes."
She picked it up and put it on the coffee table. "You're shutting yourself off from a great opportunity."
"My loss," he muttered sarcastically as he strapped the baby in. "Yes, it is," she said quietly.
He shot her a silencing look and Liz stepped back, hands raised in temporary surrender. She looked on quietly as Griff hefted the baby seat up into his arms. He appeared more comfortable now that there was a barrier between him and his niece.
Why? Were relationships so painful to him? She refused to believe he was just a selfish, ungiving man. That kiss had made her feel otherwise. And there was something in his eyes that told her he had lived through a lot of pain. You had to be able to feel in order to be subjected to pain. There was a sensitive man in there somewhere and she was going to bring him out.
"Well," Griff muttered, "thanks." He turned and moved toward the front door.
Liz followed him. As an afterthought, she grabbed one of her cards that she had left on the hall table. Because there was no other available opening, she tucked the card into his back pocket. "Here."
He turned around, acutely aware that she had brushed her hand against his posterior. It had been done in innocence, but it had still happened. And he felt himself reacting to it and to her again. He had to get out. She was playing tricks on his mind and on his body, however unintentionally—and he was begin- ning to have his doubts about the latter being totally true.
"What do you think you're doing?''
"I'm giving you my card, of course. It has my home number on it in case you find that you have any ques- tions—about the baby, I mean."
"Why else would I call?"
Liz opened the door for him. "Think about it." She leaned against the doorjamb as Griff crossed over the threshold. He did seem quite eager to get away, she thought..
She smiled down at the baby. "Don't be too hard on him, Casie. I have a feeling he'll get the hang of it eventually."
"There isn't going to be an eventually." He'd find Sally if he had to turn all of Southern California upside down.
"Whatever you say."
He glared at Liz. It was evident from her tone that she was humoring him.
She called after him as he started to leave. "Ten a.m.'s a good time."
"For what?"
"To pick me up. Shopping. Baby clothes, remember?" She put her hands on her hips, feigning exasperation. "Officer Foster, do they give memory courses down at the precinct?"
"No, they don't have SWAT training, either. I'll bring it up at the next meeting." He turned and walked to his car, holding the infant seat against his chest.
"Have a nice night."
She had no idea what it was that he mumbled back at her, but she thought it wiser not to ask.
Chapter Five
All he wanted to do was to get some sleep. He didn't think, after the long, arduous day he had put in, that it was too much to ask.
Obviously it was.
Both his mind and his new, uninvited house guest conspired against him. The latter's loud, demanding cries arrived like clockwork. Uncannily, they echoed through the otherwise quiet house each time that he finally found a comfortable position for himself and started to drift off to sleep.
As he trudged into Sally's old bedroom for the fifth time in as many hours, Griff looked down accusingly at the small, puckered face.
"Don't you ever sleep, kid?"
Normally, all protests ceased at the sound of the words. Her eyes would open wide at the different, low voice. The previous four wailing bouts had all been entreaties for attention, except for the one time she had gotten her body mysteriously tangled up in the dark comforter. This time, she just continued crying. She had kicked off her covers and her problem became obvious once Griff took a closer look at her.
Casie was wet, very, very wet and miserable. He stood contemplating what lay ahead of him and he didn't like it, but there was no way Out.
Like it or not, he was going to have to change her diaper.
"No way that you can hang on until morning, is there, kid?"
Casie's answer was to wail louder. For such a small thing, her cries were exceptionally lusty and full.
Griff shook his head. He knew when he had lost a battle. With a resigned sigh, he reached down to where he had dropped Sally's oversize purse. Rummaging around, he pulled out one of the last remaining diapers.
What if it wasn't just a wet diaper? What then?
He didn't want to think about that. He was having enough trouble dealing with having to change her at all. When Liz had done the honors, she had made it seem so simple. Maybe for her, but not for him.
He stared down at the plastic rectangle in his hand, wondering how he had come to this moment in his life. He was a man who wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty. He'd dug ditches in his time, sweat and grime mixing and embedding themselves in his hands. He'd rather face a full day digging in the mud than three minutes of peeling back a dirty diaper.
He had no choice. She wasn't going to stop wailing until he changed her. Besides, if he left the wet diaper on her long enough, she'd probably come down with some kind of rash. He didn't want her in his life, but he didn't want her to suffer, either. And if Casie suffered, Griff knew full well that he would, too.
Especially his ears.
Taking a deep breath, he looked around for a way to open the diaper. Casie began to squirm.
"Hold still. This isn't fun for me, either," he grumbled as he pulled at the two plastic tabs on either side of the rounded tummy. The tabs didn't come off easily. Tugging, he wound up removing pieces of the accompanying plastic and inner cotton as well. The latter was decidedly soggy.
Not a very good first attempt, he thought in annoyance, throwing the pieces down on the carpet. He wondered how many more times he'd have to go through this ordeal before he found Sally.
Gingerly, he lifted back the diaper and then frowned. For a moment, he contemplated just closing it all up and returning to his room. Damn, he hadn't asked for this. He had no idea how to go about cleaning her up.
Yes, he did. That was just the trouble. Swearing under his breath softly enough so that Casie couldn't hear the words, he reached for a diaper wipe and began.
Casie wound up needing extensive cleaning. By the time Griff was finished, so was the towel he had dragged out of the bathroom.
"How can something so little be so dirty?" Griff marveled as he looked down at his niece.
Casie had only a pleased smile in answer to his question.
"Proud of yourself, aren't you? Well, don't be. I would have done it for anyone." He paused, the baby's wide blue eyes holding his own. "Okay, maybe not just anyone. Now get to sleep."
He pulled the covers over her again. The heap that had accumulated on the floor was something he'd contemplate tomorrow. It wasn't going anywhere. And neither would he if he didn't get some sleep.
He saw her following him with her eyes. Just as he reached the door and began to slip out of the room, Casie began to cry again.
"Now what?" he demanded, his hand braced on the doorjamb.
Because she had no way of answering, and because she went on crying, he marched back into the room. She looked so unhappy and forlorn that he found himself picking her up without thinking. He had forgotten that he wanted as little physical contact with her as possible. As he sat down, he cradled her against his chest.
Casie stopped crying.
"Is this what you wanted?" He held her up so that their faces were close to each other. Casie looked as if she was smiling in satisfaction. "God, six months old and a manipulator already. You're going to make one heck of a woman—like someone else I know." He thought of Liz and made himself push the image out of his mind.
Casie drooled in reply and patted one tiny hand on the fine covering of hair on his chest.
He didn't want to feel what he was feeling when he held her in his arms. Long-ago emotions stirred within him, spreading faster than the warmth on his chest created by the heat of her small hand. There was a bittersweet ache going through him.
Softly, he began to sing to Casie. It was a song he used to sing to Sally when they were alone together at night, to keep her from being afraid. Somehow, it seemed the natural thing to do.
After several minutes, Casie's even breathing told him that she had fallen asleep.
"Your mother used to react to my singing the same way," he whispered.
He raised her small body up over the barricade of chairs and slowly he lowered her to the bed, holding his breath. Casie went on sleeping.
Griff tiptoed out, hoping that he could finally get some rest. With any luck, Casie would sleep for the rest of the night. There were only a couple of hours left until morning, anyway.
Casie might sleep, but he discovered that he certainly couldn't. Every time Griff began to drift off to sleep, she came into his mind. Liz, with her laughing blue eyes and her mouth that was made for kissing— when it wasn't moving faster than the speed of light.
Damn her!
In exhausted disgust, Griff sat up in bed, running his hands through the mop of dark hair that fell into his eyes. He didn't deserve this, didn't deserve to be mentally battered by two females at the same time.
The only female who had ever mattered to him was still out there somewhere, running from herself and from him.
And here he was stuck with his niece and a very odd baby-sitter.
But while he could temporarily banish one from his mind because she was finally sleeping soundly, he had no such luck with the other. The way Liz's mouth had felt against his in that unexpected kiss kept replaying itself in his mind. As he involuntarily relived it, his body took over, aching for things that were only too normal. Turning against him and tormenting him with longings he had no intention of fulfilling.
He had half a mind to tell Liz that he didn't need her help with his niece any longer. He could take it from here. He had diapered Casie, hadn't he? And they had both survived, right? They'd both survive everything else that came their way, as well.
Oh, God, he was thinking of the two of them as a unit already. They weren't a unit, he insisted to himself. Casie was just Sally's little girl and he was stuck taking care of her until his sister turned up.
As for the other one... Griff threw himself down on his pillow, swearing.
"You look terrible."
"Thanks." Griff marched into Liz's living room, Casie tucked under his arm like a football.
Well, at least he was more casual about holding the baby, Liz observed.
She shut the front door, then turned to talk to the baby. "Hi, Puddin'." She took Casie from him and effortlessly gathered her against her hip while holding her with one arm. ''Didn't she let you sleep?"
There was something natural about the way she looked with a baby on her hip like that. Something warm and maternal. Something he had never experienced except vicariously when he was very young. Something he had once longed for.
Griff dismissed the thought from his mind and the feelings that surfaced with it. They had no place in his well-ordered life. At least it had been well-ordered until a couple of days ago.