Botanicaust (53 page)

He
’
d suspected something like this, after she sang to him in the Fosselite compound. And it explained her quick grasp of his language while he struggled with hers. He realized she
’
d been speaking his language since he arrived at the milk house.

“
Just because Brother Peter thinks he sees the face of his dead daughter in an abomination does not make it true,
”
Deacon Yonnie spoke.
“
We have prayed together, and he believes he may have been mistaken.
”

Levi rose.
“
Gatekeeper Peter? Is her father? Has he been to see her?
”
Something in his eye must have frightened Yonnie, for the Deacon shuffled back so Brother John stood a shoulder in front of him.

“
We did not think it wise to open a door he closed long ago.
”

Fists clenched, Levi fought the impulse to deck someone. The last month and a half had changed him. Inside, he prayed for peace. Swallowing his frustration, he turned back to Tula.
“
Tu – Katie.
”
It would be hard to change her name in his mind, but he needed to reinforce her connections here.
“
Do you want to see your Papa?
”

Her eyes tightened against tears but could not keep them from spilling. She nodded vigorously.
“
And Mama?
”

Sickness rose in Levi
’
s gut. Peter had been a widower as long as Levi could remember.

Brother John spoke.
“
Peter
’
s wife died soon after his son and daughter disappeared. He
’
s been alone since then.
”

Her face crumpled. Levi put his arms around her while looking back at the men.
“
God brought this lost lamb back to us. Do you keep her from the flock because her wool has been stained in mud?
”

“
She
’
s a serpent spitting lies!
”
Brother Yonnie hissed from behind the bishop.

“
God protect us from her deceit,
”
Brother Evan added.

“
She
’
s one of us. She
’
s not a prisoner. I
’
m taking her to see her father.
”
Levi kept an arm around Tula as he pushed through the men gathered at the door.

Tula followed Levi into the daylight, nerves jittering as she passed first the Brethren, then the dogs.
“
What about Eily?
”
She resisted his pull against her shoulders.
“
I don
’
t want to leave her alone.
”

The Brethren stood outside the door, arguing in deceptively calm tones.

Levi stopped and turned back to the milk house.
“
Wait here.
”

Tula twisted at her skirt nervously, watching the dogs, watching the men with the dogs. The weight of the fabric annoyed her skin. Would she get used to wearing clothing again? Levi emerged with Eily cradled in his arms.

One of the men tried to block the door with his body.
“
Levi, you cannot
—
”

Without regard for the obstacle, Levi bumped through the group of men.
“‘
Blessed is he who has regard for the weak.
’
Brother Samuel, will you care for this child until a decision is reached?
”

A red-faced man standing behind the rest stiffened. The argumentative man blustered louder.
“
We must not allow these sinning heathens into our midst, Bishop! Have a care for your flock!
”

Levi didn
’
t waver in his focus on Samuel.
“
The Tenets of the Prophet command us to consider in Scripture if something may be sent from God.
‘
The Son of Man came to seek and save the lost.
’
These are lost souls, Brothers. And Eily is but an innocent child. Look within your hearts.
”

Samuel grimaced, his teeth bright above the darkness of his beard. Lifting jerky arms, he accepted Eily from Levi
’
s care.

“
Thank you, Samuel.
”

Samuel nodded once and turned from the group.

The Brother who argued against them called out,
“
Remember the words of the Prophet!
‘
And the children were
Marked
with Affliction, and the earth was deceived.
’
If you choose to become a friend of the world, you become an enemy of God!
”

Samuel
’
s step faltered, then his spine stiffened and he continued away from the group.

Levi ignored the man, taking Tula
’
s hand to lead her after Samuel. This time, instead of through the orchard, they cut a path across a stubbled field toward the gate.
“
Your father has been the gatekeeper as long as I can remember,
”
Levi said.
“
I can
’
t believe
…
”
He shook his head.
“
I don
’
t even know what to call you.
”

Tula knit her brows.
“
I remember being Katie. But I
’
ve been Tula for so long…
”

Pausing, he gathered her other hand and turned her to face him.
“
We may be shunned forever. But I don
’
t know how else to keep you safe. I
’
m glad you
’
re with me.
”
His eyes drifted down her front.
“
It
’
s strange to see you in a dress.
”

Cocking a playful eye at him, she asked,
“
Would you like me out of it?
”

His smile was immediate, but faded quickly.
“
You know our
…
intimacy
…
would be frowned upon.
For many reasons.
We must be careful how we look at each other.
”

The happiness inside her heart withered. The Haldanians engaged in sexual liaisons so casually, she
’
d been with several lovers and never thought of monogamy, let alone marriage. But with the return of her memory, she recalled playing house as a child, and her assumption she would someday be a wife and mother.

Another mold she no longer fit.

She was unclean. Levi might be glad she was safe, but he couldn
’
t be with her here. Not if he hoped to resume life with his people.

“
I understand,
”
she said. The vacuum left where her heart had been made it hard to breathe.

Nodding, Levi let go of her hands and continued to walk, the crop debris crunching beneath her calloused feet. Samuel diverged toward a smudge of houses and trees on the horizon while Levi led Tula the other direction. Concern for Eily warred with Tula
’
s burning desire to see Papa, all echoing with the realization of what life here at the Holdout would mean for her.
Conformity, yet shunning.
A place to be safe, yet never belong.

As they approached the stone building, a man came out. He placed a wide-brimmed hat squarely on his head and crossed his arms.
“
I was told you were coming.
”

“
T - Katie
’
s here to see her father.
”

“
Peter
’
s indisposed.
”

“
Papa!
”
Tula called, her voice weak. More than she could have imagined, she needed Papa
—
the comfort of his arms around her small shoulders. Her insides quivered with nerves. Levi had just rejected her. Not Papa, too? He
’
d let her inside the gate. He wanted to see her.
“
Papa?
”

No answer.

The pain in Tula
’
s chest engulfed her. Tears slid unbidden down both cheeks.

“
Take her away, Levi.
”
The man refused to look at her.

“
I don
’
t want to have to force the issue. Let us pass.
”

“
I won
’
t stop you. But he
’
s not here. He
’
s indisposed.
”

“
Where?
”

“
I can
’
t rightly say.
”

The muscles of Levi
’
s jaw bulged. Taking her hand, he pulled her away with a little too much force. She stumbled on the gravel road.
“
Sorry,
”
Levi mumbled, letting go of her and slowing to let her regain her balance.

She wiped at her eyes with the backs of her wrists. If Papa wouldn
’
t see her, she could tend to Eily.
“
Can we go see Eily?
”

Levi nodded and led her toward town. She wanted to hold his hand so badly she ached, but knew better than to indulge in the familiarity. As they drew near the line of houses, more and more emptiness overwhelmed her. Longing sucked the strength from her as she scoured the brick buildings for something she recognized. Although they were all very similar
—
plain, rectangular brick homes with steep roofs and covered porches
—
none belonged in her memory.
“
I didn
’
t live here.
”

“
No. Peter
’
s old place was one of the
Englisch
field homes.
”
He pointed across the rolling plain to a swell with a giant tree and another structure. The blades of a windmill twisted in the breeze. She couldn
’
t see it well enough to judge.
“
Past the Blecher place. You can
’
t see it from here.
”

Then she remembered the long walks to school with Eli. She searched for the small schoolhouse with the bell at the front door. A wooden swing-set peeked around the side of the building. She recalled a teeter-totter.
And a baseball diamond.
Were there children inside the school right now? She drifted toward the building, but Levi called,
“
This way.
”

She stopped, looked longingly at the brick wall inset with tall windows, and followed Levi. She would not be welcome there, either. She couldn
’
t go back. Her only direction could be forward.
To keep herself and Eily safe.

At a red brick home with a wide porch, he opened the door and led her inside. Polished wood plank floors held hand woven rag rugs, and the room they entered smelled like a combination of cooked meat and a pungent vegetal odor. Cabbage. A big wooden table
—
a dining table, she recalled
—
occupied the center of the room. Cabinets of the same wood planks as the floor circled the walls. In a corner stood a smaller table and a stack of chairs. A device she recognized as an oven with a cooktop stove. Fragments of memory made her dizzy as the names for everything returned to her.