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“But then what happened to make them lose their minds, to go feral?” Despite the fact I should have hated him, I found myself wrapped up in the education he was giving me. I couldn’t help but be caught up in wanting to know what exactly had happened to Sebastian and all those people who took the Nevermore shot.

Vincent started to pace in front of the chalkboard, his hands once more clasped behind his back. “There are a great deal of toxins within cystius scoparius that were supposed to be eliminated. They weren’t.”

“How do you know all this? Are you a scientist?” I asked.

“No, but I was there when the drug was being produced. And I applied myself to learning all I could about it when it was given to someone I cared about and it became apparent the drug was not what it was supposed to be.”

He turned to the chalkboard and continued as though I hadn’t interrupted him.

“The very things that were meant to help those who took the drug had side effects too. The components, every one of them, had a flip side, a dark side.” He made small arrows to and from each component to a big ugly X he slashed onto the board. Again he began to pace the room.

“Genistin stimulates breast cancer; I’ve not seen too many cases but there are several Nevermores that have been disposed of that had massive tumours hanging off their chests—so large, in fact, that they had difficulty standing upright.”

I didn’t know what to say; that was an image that came all too easily to my mind.

“The poison within the broom leaves the person with numb hands and feet, and that numbness travels up through their limbs. I believe this is why they are unable to climb, or at least a contributing factor. The fine motor skills also seem to be damaged a great amount; again, I believe this to be some of the toxins causing blockages.” He stopped his pacing and leaned against the table to stare at me, his intensity unnerving.

“The flavonoids, they are carcinogenic in the right parameters and some of those seem to be met in certain patients. Again, tumours, skin cancer and the like have been apparent on a number of them.”

Sipping at my soup, I tried to process all that he was telling me and I remembered what the early reports had said about the toxins in the brain. I was afraid to ask, afraid of the answer, but I asked it anyway. “Are their brains really being eaten away?”

To my relief, he shook his head. “The initial thought that the brain was actually being attacked by the Nevermore drug and eaten away was incorrect. Parts of the cerebrum are being depressed while other parts are being stimulated. Thus we get the effect of the Nevermores.” He put the chalk on the table and placed his hands beside it.

Vincent hit a button on the desk, an intercom of some sort I suppose. “Bring Adam and Eve in.”

The door slid open, and this time only a single guard came in with a woman and man slightly in front of him. I stared hard at them, finally standing and cautiously walking closer to get a better look.

Their eyes were still yellow, but the slit had blended back into a proper human iris. Their skin was still speckled here and there with the bloom flower tattoos so common on the Nevermores, but their skin itself was no longer yellow.

Something was still off though and I finally put my finger on it. It was the flat, dead gaze that stared out of their faces, the vacancy that should have had a sign above their heads. I waved my hand in front of their faces.

“They aren’t in there anymore are they?”

“Adam and Eve were injected with one of the earlier formulas of the reversal drug. We broke in to Donavan’s compound before he made better arrangements for protection.” He came around to my side of the table. “Because the toxin from the cystius scoparius depressed parts of the cerebrum that make us human, for such a long time, it didn’t leave any pathways for the brain to re-connect. They no longer know themselves or much of their surroundings for that matter. But they are no longer monsters.”

I backed away from them. “That doesn’t make me want to give the formula to Sebastian.”

Vincent stepped up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders, squeezing the bones until they hurt. “What is better, a man you can trust in your bed—simple, but safe—or an animal who is unpredictable, ready to tear your throat out at the slightest provocation? I saw him attack you outside your home, saw the terror it inspired in you. At least this way, you could have him with you.”

I stared at the couple. A thin line of drool formed from the woman’s mouth and hung from her bottom lip, dropping until it reached the edge of her breast. Which would be better? A vegetable, unable to communicate in any way? Or a monster, at least still aware of me and the past we shared?

I didn’t have a choice but to help Vincent and his men. It was that or get us killed, and I wasn’t about to make that mistake. I would do what I had to do to keep Sebastian, our child and myself safe, no matter what. But I knew that I would never let Sebastian take this reversal drug—at least as he was now, he still knew me.

8

Adam and Eve were escorted back out and Vincent pushed a sheet towards me. “This is what I want you to train the Nevermores to do. They must be able to follow these simple commands if we are to take Donavan’s compound.”

I read the list out loud. “Attack, kill, left, right, forward, back, halt, quiet, loud.” I shrugged, “Will you give me what I ask for to train them?”

Vincent frowned. “Won’t they just listen to you?” Again I shrugged. “Maybe, but with Scout I used food to gain his trust.”

He shook his head, “We can’t spare any.”

“Then I’m not sure how well this will go,” I said, clenching the paper in my fingers.

Vincent snorted and slapped his hand on the table. “Figure it out Mara or I will see you shot, but not before I eviscerate your husband and feed his liver to the crows.”

Nausea rolled through me, not just because of his words, but because the food that I’d been without for too long wasn’t settling well. “I’m going to puke,” I said. Vincent gave me a look of disgust, his lip curling and his eyes half closed.

I lunged for the waste basket and caught the edge of it as the chicken noodle soup was brought back up, most of the noodles still intact. I heaved till my stomach was empty and then some.

“Get her out of here,” Vincent snapped. Hands circled around my waist lifting me to my feet. “Stomach, don’t squeeze it,” I said, as another dry heave wracked my body.

A glance up showed me it was Marks escorting me. That was a surprise; I’d assumed Burns was assigned to me.

We made our way through the bunker to a hallway lined with rooms. The third door on the right opened up into a compact, tidy room with a real bed, small desk and chair, and even a tiny closet.

“Here, this is where you’ll stay. I’ll come get you in a few hours for your first session training the Nevermores,” Marks said. I laid down on the bed, groaning with relief, my head spinning. “Can I have some water?”

“Sure.” The door closed behind me and I closed my eyes, putting a hand to my belly. I wasn’t cramping so I was pretty sure it wasn’t a miscarriage, but the baby was not happy with the soup. Just the thought of the noodles made me gag again.

The door opened and Marks set a large plastic tumbler of water down on my side table. “Here, you can have as much water as you want but everything else is on rations.”

“Just bread or crackers, I think, for now,” I said and then took a sip of water. It washed away the puke taste a little and I lay back down on the bed.

Marks said nothing more, leaving me to my nausea. The door closed and I wondered if I’d be able to fall asleep. It didn’t take long for me to find out.

I dreamt of the beach again. But this time it was Marks with me, holding my hand, staring into my face, his eyes soft, a smile at the corner of his lips.

“Stay with me Mara,” he whispered into my ear, as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I can’t,” I said, pulling away from him. “I love Sebastian.”

“He’s a monster, he can’t love you.”

I shook my head, my hair falling around my face, hiding the scene from me. “No, he does love me, you don’t know him!”

Hands touched me and I flinched and found myself looking up into Sebastian’s face.

“Baby,” he said, his lips in my hair, his words muffled, “I don’t know how much longer I can hang on.”

“Stay with me Bastian,” I begged. “Don’t go.”

“He’s right, I’m afraid to hurt you,” Bastian said, letting go of me, pushing me towards Marks.

“No! Please, stop!” I yelled. I fought, but Marks held me tight as again I watched Sebastian disappear from view. “I promise you, I will never stop loving him.”

He let me go and I tumbled to the hard-packed sand.

I woke with a start, the blanket tangled around me, soaked through from my sweat. Sitting up, I grabbed for the glass and gulped back the water, easing the dry ache in my throat. “I promise,” I whispered into the semi darkness as I clutched the glass. “I promise.”

9

Once I’d woken up from the dream I sat thinking over how to train the Nevermores for Vincent. Scout listened to me because he was afraid of Sebastian, but that only worked because they were from the same pack and Scout understood the hierarchy. It was a long shot, but perhaps Sebastian and I working together could do the same with the Nevermores here. It would require me to do something I never thought I would; something that the very idea of gave me shivers of fear and desire equally.

It surprised me when instead of Marks; Burns came to get me to take me down to the Nevermore’s cells. I did my best to keep the conversation and contact to a minimum; the dream, still more than fresh, had left me feeling jittery.

“I have to go in to him if I’m to start the training. The others have to see me as his mate,” I said. Much as I wanted to be with Sebastian, there was the distinct possibility that he could turn on me. It was a chance I had to take if this was going to work and a part of me wanted to be with him, despite the changes in him. Burns and I were standing at the start of the cell block; the only sound was that of shuffling bodies and the occasional whimper.

“Does that mean what I think it does?” Burns asked me, his eyes wide.

I flushed. “He’s my husband.”

“I know, but he’s not human anymore,” Burns said, not making eye contact with me.

“If you knew anything about love, you’d know that it shouldn’t matter what he looks like,” I said, crossing my arms over my breasts.

“But he’s a monster.”

“Not to me.”

Nothing more was said as we walked the rest of the way to Sebastian’s cell.

Burns did as I asked, letting me in and locking the door behind me. Then he surprised me further by handing me the key. At my look he laughed, “Well, it’s not like he’s got the motor skills to handle the key and get the door open himself.”

I smiled. “Thank you. I’m going to need some time alone with him. I don’t know how long this will take.” I didn’t care what Burns thought of me, what any of them thought of me. I loved my husband, loved him deeply with a passion that superseded any condition he might have. Monster or human, he was the man I wanted in my life.

Burns let out a sigh, nodded, and walked back to the end of the cell block. I heard the door open then shut and click as the lock was turned. For the first time, Sebastian and I were truly alone.

“Bastian,” I whispered, stepping into the darkened back of the cell. Hands reached out of the shadows and pulled me into the gray gloom. Sebastian sat on the edge of a cot and placed me easily on his lap. I wrapped my arms around him, breathing in the scent that was still him, just wilder, raw and untamed.

He groaned as he pressed his mouth to the hollow of my throat, licking at my skin, pulling at it lightly with his teeth. A shiver of desire rippled through me. I slid my hands up his arms, then up his neck to cup his face and bring his lips to mine. I might try to convince myself that this was so I could train the pack, so that they would see me completely as Sebastian’s mate, but in reality, this was for me. I needed to feel connected to him in every way, to remember our love as it had been.