Authors: Connie Lafortune
It doesn’t take long for Ryker’s gaze to meet mine and then he pales. “Mrs. Leo, it’s all right. I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Lyra Harper. Lyra, Mrs. Leo’s my caretaker. She’s been managing my apartment while I’ve been away.” Why does that name sound so familiar?
The woman’s obviously in shock. She keeps glancing back and forth between the both of us, unsure of what to do. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Leo. Here let me help you clean up this mess.” I start by trying to salvage everything I can before cleaning up what I can’t.
Ryker slips on his shoes before grabbing the garbage can. “It’s all right, Mrs. Leo. Why don’t you have a seat and we’ll clean this up.”
With her hand still pressed against her chest she says, “I’m so sorry, Mr. Steel. The concierge said you’d be arriving sometime later tonight. I was hoping to have this all put away by then.”
Ryker doesn’t have to speak because I clearly know what he’s thinking. If she had come in five minutes later we would have been going at it like a bunch of crazy teenagers. That would have been quite embarrassing to say the least.
“I’d love some coffee, Mrs. Leo. Why don’t you make us all a cup, and Lyra and I will take care of this?” And that is why I desperately love this man. Luckily, the bag of coffee and the little container of cream survived the disaster. So she quickly takes it from his hand and busies herself. When I grab the last roll of paper towels and begin soaking up the mess, Ryker starts chuckling. “What about this do you find so amusing, Mr. Steel?”
“I envisioned you on all fours tonight, precious, but not quite like this.” When his lips quirk in a comical grin, I can’t help laughing. An all-out, gut-wrenching belly laugh that causes tears to rush down my cheeks. For some reason I can’t stop and that makes it all the funnier. Mrs. Leo must think we’re a bunch of buffoons the way we’re carrying on.
Once we’ve composed ourselves, Ryker graciously takes my hand and pulls me up. His intense gaze thrills me to the bone because I know his passion is for me and me alone. “You are so beautiful when you laugh, Lyra. You should do it more often.”
We both glance up when Mrs. Leo walks into the room. “The coffee’s ready, sir. Why don’t you let me finish up in here and enjoy it while it’s hot?” The poor woman’s wringing her hands like she’s going to be scolded like a disobedient child.
“Thank you, Mrs. Leo. It was really sweet of you to pick up all of my favorites so they’d be here when I arrived. I’m going to put a little something extra in your check this month.”
“Oh, sir, that’s not necessary. Especially after the mess I made…”
“Nonsense. It’s the thought that counts. I should be the one apologizing to you. Or perhaps Cody should be the one. Cody. Come.”
I watch in fascination as Cody ambles over and stands by Ryker’s side. Motionless. “Cody. Sit.” And she does because she always listens to her master. “Cody, apologize to Mrs. Leo for frightening her.”
What? Am I missing something here? When Cody lifts her paw in the air, a sense of déjà vu prickles at my spine. And it gets worse when Mrs. Leo grabs her paw and shakes it. This is the third time tonight that something feels familiar. Why?
Suddenly, a thick fog surrounds me. Ryker’s talking but for the life of me I can’t understand a word he’s saying. I feel him lay me down on the couch as Mrs. Leo puts a cold compress to my forehead.
I need to breathe.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi…
Breathe, Bella! Breathe!
“Talk to me, Lyra. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I want to. I really do. But how do you tell your husband that his wife is very much alive when he thinks she’s dead…
Chapter Thirty
Ryker
Not another damn spell! This has got to stop. She’s incoherent as I rub her arms, her thighs, and speak to her as calmly as possible. I don’t like this. Not one damn bit! I’m just about to tell Mrs. Leo to call 911 when Lyra reaches up and gently presses the edges of my frown upward with her thumbs. To the ordinary eye, it would be a simple gesture of comfort. For me, it knocks me on my fucking ass. Bella used to do this all the time when I was deep in thought. Fuck me! Her name is just a breath away and I’m so tempted to use it, but do I dare? And then I look into her eyes and they reflect everything I need to know. She remembers me…
“Mr. Steel. Should I call for help?” Fuck! I’d forgotten Mrs. Leo was still here. I watch as Bella bites her lip. No, Bella. No. Don’t say a word.
I quickly stand and take her elbow. “Lyra has spells every once in a while, Mrs. Leo. She’s fine now. Come, I’ll walk you out. I’ve taken up enough of your time already.”
“Nonsense. I’m sorry I reacted the way I did but she looks so similar to…”
“Yes, I hear that quite often. And I would have prepared you had I known you’d be here. My apologies, and thanks for the groceries. That was very thoughtful of you. Goodbye now.”
I don’t want to seem ungrateful as I hurry her out the door. Making sure to lock it behind me. And when I turn around to see my beautiful wife standing five feet away, I’m breathless. My heart’s beating like a thousand wild horses and I fear I might die at any minute. Without hesitating, I close the distance and wrap her up in my arms. “Bella,” barely escapes my lips before hers press against mine. Slowly, seductively, and damn near perfect. My wife.
“Ry, I’m so sorry…”
I silence her with a whisper. I nibble on her delectable lips, pick her up and take her directly into my bedroom. Our bedroom. With her legs tangled around my hips and locked at the ankles. As far as I’m concerned, the only one who needs to apologize is Mrs. Harper.
I gently lay her down on the bed and just stare at her. My wife is alive. And she’s here with me now. I’ve known for many months, but she’s just remembered. And her love for me is reflected in those breathtaking eyes. Me. Bella fucking loves ME!
“Oh god, Ryker. What about Gage? What am I going to do? I have to tell him who I am and…”
“Hush, baby. I’ll take care of everything when the time comes. Right now, it’s just the two of us. How are you feeling, Bella?” God, her name. It’s like an aphrodisiac as it rolls off my tongue. One I never thought I’d be privileged enough to speak again.
“I’ll admit I am tired, but I can’t rest. Not now. There’s so much I need to tell you about everything I just remembered! I need to…”
“Baby, we have all weekend. Obviously your memory is on overdrive and you need your rest. Here, lie down so I can hold you while you sleep. Once you wake up, we’ll talk.” She slides into me with such a familiarity that my chest aches. Funny. It’s the same way Lyra and I used to sleep back at the cabin. I’d like to think that subconsciously Bella knew who I was even back then.
We’re spooning and I have my face buried in the crook of her neck. She’s holding my arms so tightly that it is cutting off all my circulation. I don’t care. Not one damn bit. Her breathing is evening out and I think she’s finally sleeping when she whispers, “How did you know it was me?”
I kiss the delicate skin just below her ear before answering. “I was frowning and you used your magic thumbs to wipe it away. You always tried to soothe me with your touch, Bella. It’s who you are and one of the reasons I fell in love with you. Now sleep.” She’s not quite ready to hear how I knew it was her back at the cabin. How I’d parted her trembling thighs to reveal the tiny heart-shaped birthmark I’d treasured for so long. All things, in due time.
She turns around just far enough to capture my lips with hers. “You can still call me precious, Ryker. I kinda like it now.”
“Oh you do, do you? Well, for all its worth, I kinda like it too. Sweet dreams, precious.”
Not long after, my wife falls asleep in my arms. Soundly. And I’m wide awake with a million questions running through my mind. The biggest one is: do I tell the world my wife is alive or do I go on pretending she’s dead? It would be safer for all of us if I let everyone believe she’s Lyra Harper. I don’t want to, but it might be the only alternative. Even though Rodriguez is in prison awaiting trial, he still has enough power on the outside to influence his henchmen. Another one at the top of my list is: did Bella know Lyra? And if she did, how? I’m sure all of my questions will be answered in time. I just hope when she wakes, she still has her memory.
A tickling sensation stirs me in my sleep. My hand immediately reaches for the Glock hidden beneath my pillow while the other has the intruder pinned to the bed by her throat. Dread claws at my chest when I see Bella’s frightened eyes pleading with me to stop. Fuck…
Promptly, I sit back on my heels, trying to catch my breath. I could have killed her. “Are you all right, Ryker?” She’s asking me if I’m okay?
“Give me a minute, Bell. I need a damn minute.” I climb off the bed and with shaky hands place the gun in the bedside drawer. Fuck! I haven’t had one of those dreams in months. I slowly rake my fingers through my hair.
“You didn’t hurt me…”
I hold up my hand and when I turn around, it breaks my heart. Her curious eyes remind me so much of our first few months of marriage. The nightmares were horrendous and I spent many nights sleeping on the couch. For fear of hurting her. Now they’re back. Fuck! I know why. I do. I’m afraid I’ll lose her again because of who I am. Well, I’m going to put an end to it once and for all. If it means we need to fall off the grid together, then so be it. I will not put her life in danger because of me. Never.
“I’m okay, Ryker. See?” She shows me her throat and I see no markings. I begin to relax only when she wraps her arms around my waist. “Let’s have a bite to eat and we can talk.”
I don’t want to let her go once her lips touch mine. “I need you, precious.”
“And I need you, Mr. Steel. But everything’s changed and it’s all my fault. How can you still want me after knowing I was unfaithful to you?”
The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. Sonia had been my infidelity and Gage had been hers. Not anymore. I need to make her understand that it’s over…
Bella
He’s frowning once again. And I hate the fact that it’s because of me. I don’t want him worrying about something we can’t change. It is what it is. He was led to believe that I was dead and I thought I was Lyra Harper. We didn’t know any better back then, but we do now and that’s all that matters. I get lost when his warm hands frame my face and tears threaten to fall. How was it possible to have forgotten the most important man in my life?
“I never stopped loving you, Bell. You were always right here with me.” I tremble when he grabs my hand and places it over his heart. The core of who this man really is. My husband. “You are my heart and soul, Bella Steel. And I, too, am guilty of being with another. Sonia was my lover and a good friend when I desperately needed one. Just like Gage was for you. But all of that’s in the past. Today is the beginning of the rest of our lives.” When his hungry mouth seeks mine, I don’t resist. I desperately want him. Every aching fiber of my being wants to be coupled with this man. For all eternity.
I part my lips and let him come inside. His tongue is warm and wet. It’s so arousing. It’s everything I want and everything I need. We explore each other’s mouths with fervor until we’re both trembling with need. And then his damn phone begins to ring and he growls. “Don’t answer it.” I mumble against his lips.
“I have to, baby. He’s the reason I came to New York this weekend. I promise I’ll just be a minute.” He gives me one last toe-curling kiss before striding out of the room. Leaving me wet and needy. Once again. Yep, it was inevitable. I was going to sleep with him this weekend. And now that I know who he really is, my husband, I want it more than I need air to breathe. I’m just frustrated because this is the second time we’ve been interrupted today.
I’m just about to make lunch when something catches my eye. Or should I say, doesn’t. All the beautiful paintings that Ryker and I so diligently selected no longer grace the walls of our bedroom. They’ve been stripped bare. And all of our personal photographs have been taken down as well. Who could have done this? I wonder if Mrs. Leo did this per her boss’s wishes. Or was Ryker so distraught after my death, he felt the need to dispose of everything that reminded him of me? Of us?
Suddenly, I’m a woman possessed as I fling open my closet door and barrel inside. Needing to find something from my past. Anything that will remind me of my existence. Proof that I did in fact live here!
I fall to my knees and crawl to the very depths of the darkness. And that’s where I find several boxes of all shapes and sizes hidden away. Out of sight. Out of mind. My hands begin to tremble as I tear off the tape and stick my hand inside. I know what it is the moment my fingers wrap around the fabric. My ballet slippers. A soft whimper escapes when I bring them to my chest and cuddle them much like a mother would her newborn child. Sobs rip through me as I mourn the loss of who I was and will never be again. For an innocent life that was snuffed out because of one idiotic prank. And for the grief and anguish I put Ryker through because I was afraid to tell him the truth.
“Bella! Shh, I’ve got you, baby. I’m here.” I’m suddenly swept up in a warm embrace as Ryker cradles me in his lap. Guilt pierces my heart and carves its way through my soul when I realize just what I’ve put him through. No one should ever be made to feel that inexcusable kind of pain. Least of all, someone who loves you with everything they have.
“I’m sorry for putting you through…”
“You don’t have to apologize, precious. You’re here with me now and that’s more than I could have ever hoped for. We’ll get through it, Bell. I promise.” He kisses my eyelids, the tip of my nose and the corner of my lips. Teasing me and tempting me into oblivion. In a matter of seconds, he’s striding into the bedroom and laying me on the bed. He sees me holding onto my slippers and says, “If you have the desire to dance again, Isabella, I will support you one-hundred percent. The choice is yours.”
It’s funny how I used to dream about the ballet, even when I was supposedly Lyra. I often wondered why but now I know that my subconscious was trying to tell me something. Now a part of me wants to pick up where I left off, even though I know it’s nearly impossible. Unreachable. It would take months, perhaps years, to train my body to be in perfect condition again. Could I do it? Yes, but I’d have to quit my job and train full-time.