Bouquet Toss (20 page)

“Fireflies,” he nods assertively, giving me an irresistible smile that I’m pretty sure will be my undoing.

“Alright, alright, I give in,” I put my hands over my head in surrender.

“You’re incredibly sexy, you know that?” Tanner asks quietly, his cheeks redden slightly.

“No, I don’t,” I say, taken aback at this sudden compliment.

“It’s true.  You’ve got to be the sweetest and sexiest woman I have ever had the pleasure to watch lightning bugs with.”

“Ah ha, you said it properly!” I laugh, throwing back my head in delight.  I turn to face my date and before I know it, Tanner is kissing me.  Not a soft, delicate kiss like earlier in the evening, but a hungry kiss full of desire.  His hands cup my cheeks as I ease effortlessly into his embrace.  His touch feels so natural, as if we’ve been doing this for years.  Tanner’s tongue enters my mouth and every nerve in my body stands hungrily at attention.  His kisses are graceful, deliberate and smooth.  My toes tingle as he presses me into the checkered blanket, our legs twisted together in a beautiful, private knot.  His hands thread through my hair seductively as he continues to kiss my lips, my chin, my throat.  I slip my hands underneath his polo shirt and he moans softly into the crook of my neck.

Just as his hands wander underneath my cotton tunic, my phone rings, startling us both.  I recognize the ring tone, even though I haven’t heard it in months.  It’s Cece...again. First a text and now a phone call. I haven’t seen or heard from Cece since we met at the coffee shop months prior to this night. Something must be wrong.

“I’m so sorry, Tanner.  This might be an emergency. I should take it.”

“Of course,” Tanner says, out of breath.  He looks flustered.

“I’ll be right back.”  Tanner nods and hands me a candle.

“So you can find your way back,” he whispers.

I offer a weak smile, guilt flooding me as I answer the phone.  I’m walking away from my gorgeous and thoughtful date in order to talk to the mother of my ex-boyfriend.  Something does not add up.  But, I must take the call.

“Cece, hi.”

“Daphne, I’m so sorry, is this a bad time?”  Cece asks quizzically.

“Well, I’m...not at home at the moment.  Are you alright?”  I can’t handle telling Cece that I’m on a date, the first date that I’ve enjoyed since losing her son.  I feel guilty, as if somehow my dating Tanner and moving on might cause her pain.

“Oh no, dear, I’m fine.  I’ve been thinking about you so much and finally decided that I needed to get in touch,” my body calms as I hear these words, knowing she’s alright.  This bond I feel towards Cece is unexplainable, yet so strong. 

I glance back at Tanner who is drinking another glass of wine and running his fingers through his hair.  His brow is furrowed in concern and I know he’s worried.  But, as guilty as I feel for leaving him on the picnic blanket alone, I’m so relieved to hear Cece’s voice.

“Well, I’m so glad that you did.  I felt terrible with how we left things.”

“Oh, Daphne, you have no idea what that means to me.  This may seem strange, but I feel such a connection with you.  Perhaps it’s what we went through together, losing our Mayson. I don’t know, but I just called to say that I’m here if you ever need me.  I care for you deeply, almost as if we’ve known each other for years.  Is that terribly strange?”

“Well, maybe, but I don’t care,” I laugh, tears filling my eyes.  “I feel the same way.  Listen, I do have to go, but I will call tomorrow and we can catch up.”

“Fantastic,” I can tell she is smiling on the other end of the line.  “You take care now.”

“You do the same, Cece.”

“Oh, and Daphne, thanks for answering my call.  I wasn’t sure that you would after, well, after the cafe.”

“I’ll always answer.  I will speak to you tomorrow.”

Walking back to Tanner, a spectrum of emotion floods through my brain.  Cece referred to Mayson as “our Mayson.”  How could I possibly tell her about Tanner?  How could I tell her that he intrigues me in a way that no one else has since her son? I can’t.  If she asks about my love life, I’ll have to lie. I must protect her feelings. She’s been through enough.

“Is everything alright?” Tanner’s concerned eyes find mine.

“Yes, everything is fine.  I’m sorry about that,” I try my best to sound casual.

“No emergency then?” I can tell Tanner is fishing for information and I can’t blame him.  We were in the middle of an extremely hot make out session and I stopped to take a phone call.  Pangs of guilt shoot through me, knowing I may have hurt Tanner’s feelings, and possibly his ego.

“No.  Just someone I hadn’t talked to in a very long time, an old friend.  She had texted earlier so when I saw that she called, well, I thought maybe she was in some kind of trouble.”  Tanner nods, listening intently.  “I’m so sorry that I spoiled the moment.”

“That’s alright.  I’m hoping there will be many other moments in our future,” he teases.  I smile widely back at him. He quickly glances at his watch. 

“Let’s get you home before the cops bust us for being in the park this late.”

“Ah, so you’re a rule follower, eh?” I ask, realizing just how much I love teasing Tanner Finley. 

“Not all the rules, but I really don’t want this date to end in the back of a police car.  So, yes, in this case, let’s behave ourselves.”  Inside, I pout a bit, not wanting to leave this near perfect date.  But, knowing that there will be more nights like this puts the smile back on my face as we drive to my apartment for a slow and sensual good night kiss.

Swooning over a computer geek?  Hell yeah!

Interrogation

“So, what on earth do you talk about with her?” Morgan asks skeptically over a slice of pizza.  We’re sitting on my apartment floor watching a romantic comedy (Abram would be so proud) and chatting over dinner.  I’ve somehow managed to reveal my ongoing friendship with Cece.

“Everything really.   Well, almost everything.  I can’t bring myself to tell her about Tanner.  It would crush her.”

“But, you said yourself that you’re talking to her a couple of times a week.  Tanner has become a huge part of your life.  How could you not tell her about him?  If Cece’s really your friend, you wouldn’t hide it from her.”

“In theory, I agree with you.  I know I shouldn’t be hiding him from anyone.  I adore him but, she’s still in mourning. If she knows I’m starting to move on, she may pull away from me.”

“And why would that be so terrible?  What is so special about this friendship?  You have plenty of friends already.”  I can hear the obvious disdain in her voice.

“I don’t know how to explain it, Morgan.  It’s a bond that I’ve never felt with another human being.  Maybe it’s because we both lost Mayson, maybe it’s because we comforted each other in a way that no one else has.  All I know is that I treasure her and really look forward to our talks every few days.  She’s become like a second mom to me.”

“And what about Tanner?  Does he know about Cece?”

“Not exactly,” I mutter, looking at the floor.

“Daphne!”  Her mouth is agape, her eyes open so wide I can see white all around her bright blue irises.

“I know, I know.  It’s just so odd.  I don’t know how to explain it to him.”

“But, he knows about your friendship with Evan, right?”

“Yeah, I told him about Evan from the start.  He doesn’t mind.  Besides, he knows that Evan talks with me about the women he’s interested in.  We’ve even talked about possible double dates.  But, his relationships don’t last long.  Evan is very fickle.”

“And Tanner’s okay with it?”

“Yes, he seems to be.  I think he knows that Evan and I don’t have feelings for one another.  We just go to concerts and hang out occasionally.  I try to convince him to date nice girls while he entertains me with stories of the troublemakers he’s trying to date.  Besides, Tanner likes him.  My friendship with Evan is so different from my relationship with Cece.”

“Well, with everything I know about Tanner, he wouldn’t appreciate you hiding this from him, never mind the fact that you haven’t told Cece yet.  That’s deceptive, Daphne.  It’s
so
not you.”  Morgan looks terribly disappointed in me.  “Look, you told me how much he appreciates honesty and dealing with things as they come about.  He doesn’t like secrets.  You’re playing with fire, my dear.”

Morgan’s words sting.  I’m simply not ready to reveal anything yet to Tanner or to Cece.  They both mean so much to me, both relationships so new, so fragile.  The thought of hurting either of them is unbearable.  Cece continues to be a living, breathing connection to the man I loved for years.  Tanner is absolutely fantastic, so different from my first love in many ways, yet he evokes many similar feelings.  I’m falling for him quickly. It terrifies me; just as my feelings for Mayson once did.  It’s simply not the time for me to reveal either of them to the other.  Yes, it is a risky choice, but I must live with it, at least for now.

“Ok, changing subjects.  I need to talk to you about Matt.”  Uh oh.

“What about him?” I do my best to remain casual as I take a bite of pizza.

“He’s acting really, really strange lately.  I’m worried he’s getting ready to break up with me.”  Morgan looks alarmed.  I need to calm her fears without giving away any potential engagement information.

“Why on earth would you think that?”

“Lately he seems to be working even longer hours than usual.  We’re supposed to be taking a trip to the
Bahamas
next month and all of a sudden, he doesn’t want to talk about it at all.  We’ve been planning this trip for months.  I’m terrified that he’s going to break things off right before we’re supposed to leave.  You know, like Carrie did to Mr. Big in the first season of Sex and the City.”  It’s hard for me to not laugh at Morgan.  She’s definitely over thinking this.

“My guess is that he’s working really hard before your trip.  You know Matt is a hard worker and I’m sure he’s just trying to get ahead of the game before traveling.  Morgan, I see the way he looks at you.  Regardless of his recent behavior, I’m certain he is still very much in love with you.”

“Hmph,” Morgan utters.  She’s not convinced.  Crap.  I’m not sure what else to say without being obvious that I have more information than she does on the matter.

“Promise me you’ll wait until after your trip before saying something to him, Morgan.  The last thing you want to do is put a damper on something you’ve been planning for so long.  If he acts strangely on the trip, then bring it up when you get home. I know you’d regret it if you brought things up too soon.  And if he cancels the trip, I’ll kick his ass.  Okay?”

Morgan stares at her food for a moment before answering, “You’re right.  Maybe he
is
trying to get ahead of his work load.  That does sound like Matt.  Besides, he hasn’t been cold towards me or anything like that.”

“Does he just seem preoccupied?”  I ask, knowing that Matt is absolutely preoccupied.  Knowing him, he’s excited to propose while on their vacation and is able to think of nothing else.  His longer hours at work are probably a desperate measure in order to keep his poker face intact.

“Yes.”  Morgan nods, wide-eyed, relieved that I understand.

I’m also pleased, knowing that I’ve convinced her not to confront Matt before they leave on vacation.  In a few short weeks, they’ll be boarding a plane, headed towards an incredible getaway; one that will include a proposal.  Morgan has no idea what’s in store for her, but I do and I’m thrilled!

Firsts
             
             

After an incredibly long school year, summer vacation has finally arrived.  Unlike past years, I’ve declined to teach summer school so that I may enjoy these several weeks with Tanner.  On this lazy Sunday afternoon we are snuggled up in my bed.  He’s reading the Sunday business section of the newspaper as I lay my head on his chest, enjoying the rise and fall of his ribcage. Gently, my fingers wander up and down his thigh in an attempt to finally find a ticklish spot on his body.

“It’s no use, sweetheart,” Tanner insists, “I’ve told you I’m not ticklish.”

“Everyone has a weak spot, Tanner.” I say confidently.

“That’s true, Daphne.  But, not everyone’s weak spot is a ticklish one.”  I get the feeling Tanner is talking about his feelings for me.  Perhaps I’m his weak spot.

I sit up and stare deeply into his speckled eyes.  His cheeks quickly turn a deep shade of crimson.  He knows I have him figured out.  Instead of glancing away or making a joke, Tanner simply shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

“Come on, you know I’m crazy about you,” Tanner says.

“Really? I thought you were just using me for my Sunday paper?” I tease, avoiding his straightforward nature.   I wonder if I used to make Mayson feel like this when I was blunt and to the point with him.  Did I make him feel ill at ease the way that Tanner does?  Did I make him tongue tied as I feel right now? 

“Well, I do like a good business section,” he jokes, “But, no Daphne, you are, in fact, my weakness.  You must know that by now.  Sometimes it’s hard for me to think clearly when you look at me like that.”  He lovingly strokes my cheek with his knuckles.  I close my eyes, enjoying his tender touch.