Bourne to Love Emma (RED-Stone Operatives Book 1)
Read Bourne to Love Emma (RED-Stone Operatives Book 1) Online
Authors: MacKenzie K. Paxton
Bourne
to Love Emma
By MacKenzie K. Paxton
Bourne to Love Emma
Text copyright © 2015 MacKenzie K.
Paxton
All Rights Reserved
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places,
events, and other elements portrayed herein are either the product of the
author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to real persons or
events is coincidental.
This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or
used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher
with the exception of the use of brief quotations in a book review.
To my husband, children, neighbors
and friends for their support in this crazy endeavor and for encouraging me to
‘just finish it!’
Alex, Heather, Christine, Sasha –
here’s to you!
Mia was finally asleep. Emma
carefully lowered her into her crib, holding her breath and saying a prayer
that she would stay that way long enough for her to take a shower and crawl
into her own bed. She breathed a silent sigh of relief as she slid her hands
out from under the sleeping bundle and finally crept from the room. Emma had
been sick for a week and 9 month old Mia hadn’t slept more than 2 hours at a
time in longer than she could remember.
Shower, then sleep, she thought.
Food wasn’t even a priority – she could eat at some point when she was up with
Mia later that night. Exhaustion was her biggest issue.
“We need to talk.”
Mia turned toward the living room and
slowly walked toward the couch. Her husband, Dan, was watching MMA fighting on
the big screen television. As she walked in, he switched the TV off and leaned
forward in his seat, resting his forearms on his thighs.
“I’m filing for divorce,” he stated
calmly.
Emma just stared at him. Her
sleep-deprived brain was struggling to keep up with what was going on around
her. As she was trying to find the words to say, her eyes strayed to the
entrance hall and noticed two suitcases that hadn’t been there earlier.
“What?” was all she managed to get
out.
“Look, we both knew that getting married
was more about my job than anything else, but I never signed up for a kid. I
thought it might work as long as you did all the heavy lifting in that area,
but it really just isn’t what I expected. I mean, damn, how am I supposed to
work when she fuckin’ cries ALL. THE. TIME.?”
Emma was completely dumbfounded. She
and Dan hadn’t been intimate since she found out she was pregnant with Mia, but
she thought he was just afraid to hurt the baby – and then maybe he wasn’t
attracted to her body right afterward…. He was always traveling for work and
she had been so busy with the baby and her own job that this all felt like it
was coming out of left field.
“More about your job? What does that
even mean? And Mia is supposed to cry - she’s a BABY! I don’t understand
what’s going on…. Did something happen at the office?” Emma leaned back on the
couch and rubbed a hand over her face. Any minute, surely she would wake up
and realize this was just some horrible dream caused by the virus she’d been
fighting for a week.
“Well, you’re the one who wanted her,
so you figure it out. I told you that you should have just had the damn
abortion and we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”
Emma gasped in shock.
He continued, “Ever since you fucking
found out you were pregnant, you’ve made everything about you and the damn
baby. You couldn’t drink at my company parties, you complained about my
aftershave making you sick, you didn’t want to have sex, you didn’t even suck my
dick because your ‘gag reflex was too sensitive’ – which I still say is
bullshit. Every single reason I fucking asked you to marry me is gone. I
mean, I can fuck someone else, that’s not a big deal, I’ve been there and done
that, obviously – but I can’t really show up in front of my boss with another chick
for work functions when he already knows you. It’s all just bullshit.”
Emma was so overwhelmed. “I had
morning sickness, Dan. I was sick all the time! And what the hell do you mean
you’ve been sleeping with someone else???”
“Jesus, Emma. You are so fucking
naïve! What did you think was going to happen when you cut me off for over a
year? Did you really think I was going to go from fucking you twice a day to
nothing?”
Emma’s jaw dropped as she stared at
the man she had been married to for almost five years. Sure, they had probably
spent more time apart than together this past year with him traveling and her
finishing school, having Mia and taking care of her while working from home.
Even though she had seen him angry before, it was rarely directed at her. That
was probably because she always did what he wanted. Her life had revolved
around his…until Mia.
There it was.
That was exactly what he was saying.
He married her to have someone always make him the priority. His job, his
parties, his sexual needs. How the hell she never saw that was beyond her at
this point. The real question was how she had let herself be used like that
for so long.
Emma stood up and said, “Go ahead and
take your suitcases and leave. We don’t need someone who doesn’t want us. We
deserve more than that. Especially Mia.”
Dan sneered at her, his eyes narrowed
and mean, “you don’t deserve shit. If it wasn’t for me, you would still be
waiting tables and trying to figure out how to pay for night school. Well,
you’re on your own now. You’re still hot or I’d have left before, but I can
get that without the kid. Better brush up on your cock sucking skills – you
sure as shit haven’t been using those since before you had the damn baby – that’s
the only way you’re gonna find someone else to take care of you now that you’ve
got a kid they have to deal with, too.”
Dan laughed at her again and turned
to get his suitcases. He looked back as he pulled the front door open and
delivered his last insult: “take a good look around, Em. I’m not paying for
you to stay here without me, so you better start packing your shit and find
something you can afford. And, if you think you’re going to rope me into
paying for your kid, remember all those attorneys my company keeps on retainer
to deal with shit like that. You’ll go bankrupt before you ever see a dime.
Good luck.” With that, he slammed the door behind him.
Emma had been frozen in place while
he spewed his hateful message, but the slamming of the door led straight to the
screaming of an infant. Mia was awake again.
Emma dragged herself back to the
nursery, lifted the baby out of her bed and dropped into the rocking chair that
had belonged to her grandmother. Once she got Mia situated and she was happily
nursing away, Emma finally let herself cry.
“What are we gonna do, baby? What
are we gonna do?”
~Emma~
One year later…
“I need more wine for this,” I said
as I grabbed the bottle to top off my glass.
Heather grabbed the bottle before I
could take the last of it. She’s a sneaky one, Heather.
“I’m just saying – being a single mom
doesn’t mean you have to live like your life is over, you know? There are a
ton of guys out there who would totally volunteer to end your drought. Have
you looked in a mirror lately? You’re beautiful and smart and funny and
successful. Hell, if you got me drunk enough, I’d hit that….”
It took a few minutes for the hysterical
laughter to die down. I fanned my face, feeling the flush that was equal parts
alcohol and complete mortification at my lack of a sex life being the topic of
conversation…again. I had to wipe my eyes before responding. “As much as I
appreciate that thought – because you’re pretty hot yourself – I don’t want to
bring some strange man into Mia’s life. She’s always going to come first in my
life and, if that means I don’t get to have sex until she’s out of the house,
well…that’s just going to have to be okay.”
Heather just stared at me. “It’s
been, what, over two years, right? And you’re sitting here saying you’re going
to willingly wait another SEVENTEEN YEARS before you have sex again? Seriously?”
She looked at me in complete disbelief. “How can you even think like that?
Don’t you miss it? I mean, I know I have a minor obsession with John’s cock,
but how can you think about NOT fucking SOMEONE for THAT long???”
“Shhhhh! This night is over if we wake
up Mia!” I laughed as Heather pretended to zip her lips and throw away the
key. “Well, I don’t think anyone would fault you for being a little obsessed
with John’s…body. He’s beautiful and I’ve obviously heard plenty about how
well he uses his… parts.”
Heather laughed out loud and
immediately clapped her hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. “Say it, Em.
SAY. IT!”
“What?!?”
“Say COCK!”
“I… why is this a big deal?” I covered
my cheeks with my hands to try to cool them down. This was something that
happened fairly often with Heather – she was always trying to loosen me up and
get me to try new things, be more adventurous. Lately, that had primarily
consisted of getting me back out into the “dating pool” so I could prove to
myself and, obviously, to Heather that I am over my divorce and my total jerk
of an ex-husband.
I’ve known Heather for years. She
was the bartender at a restaurant where I was waiting tables before I met Dan.
She never liked Dan, but she actually held her tongue (mostly) when we got
engaged and then married. Dan never liked her, either, and told me that she
was a ‘bad influence’ on more than a few occasions. In hindsight, Heather was
a much better influence than Dan. Yes, she’s bold as brass and says whatever
she’s thinking, but I think most people could do with a little more of that in
their lives.
Surprisingly enough, Heather had
finally found a man who could keep up with her – in and out of the bedroom –
and none of us were more surprised than Heather. My friend told me long ago
that she figured she’d never get married or have kids. She never dated a guy
longer than a couple of weeks and she always claimed to ‘like variety too much
to settle for one flavor the rest of my life.’ I’ve heard enough about John –
too much actually – to know that he loves Heather more than anything and
Heather trusts him enough to allow herself to love him back. That says a lot.
Heather leaned forward and grabbed my
hands – both of us now holding my face, squishing my cheeks. “Say it… or I’ll
start handing out your phone number when I get hit on at the bar.”
“I don’t believe you.” Because,
really. We’re friends. She really wouldn’t do that to me….
“I’ll post a profile on that booty
call app and use your picture!”
“Oh my gosh, Heather! Fine!” I
rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. “Cock.”
“See, that wasn’t so difficult, was
it? It’s a word they love to hear you say – you should practice: ‘ooooh, I
love your big, hard cock.’”
I slapped her hands away from my face
and grabbed my wine glass from the table. “I’m not going to be saying that to
ANYONE – hooker.” I gulped the rest of my wine. I’m done with the two glasses
I allow myself to have when Mia is with me. Bummer.
Heather laughed at me and asked
again, “You’re seriously going to live like a nun, though? That would never
work for me.”
“Actually…. It’s not easy….” I took
a deep breath and blurted “
Iorderedavibratorthisweek
.”
“What?”
I fiddled with my wine glass,
desperately wishing I hadn’t gulped it down so fast so I could do so now…. I looked
at the wall behind Heather’s shoulder and repeated myself. “I ordered a
vibrator this week.”
Heather’s smile slowly melted off her
face as she set her wine glass down to focus all of her attention right back on
me. Why the hell did I even mention this? Oh yeah. Because… wine.
“Is this …. Why are you embarrassed
telling me this? OH MY GOD, is this your first one, Em?”
At my very small nod, Heather just
stared at me. “You’ve never owned a vibrator before? But, you’re THIRTY. I
mean, Dan was out of town a LOT and you were only married for a few years and
it’s been over two years since you had sex with him. I just always assumed you
were… taking care of things on your own….”
My entire body has turned beet red at
this point, but I tried to soldier on since I know there is no way in hell she
is going to let it drop. “Heather – it’s not like I don’t know how to…you
know. I’ve had fingers my whole life, obviously. But, lately, I miss…other
parts of it.”
“You know that vibrator isn’t going
to be the same as a real, live cock, right? It will help if that’s what you’re
missing, but nothing substitutes for the real thing.” Heather did the most
awkward eyebrow waggle as she sat there discussing cocks. I laughed. She is
such a dirty whore, but she’s my best friend.
“Maybe I’ll find someone I can trust
to be around Mia – but not now. I’m not ready for that…but I do miss sex. A
lot.” A. Whole. Lot. Like, really.
Heather raised her now empty glass in
a toast and clinked it against my own.
“To sex. Hot, sweaty, amazing sex…in
all its forms.”
“Here here.”
~Emma~
After a grueling week of overtime
hours, I forced myself to work out Friday night when Mia went to bed. I had
just finished a circuit training DVD and was chugging my water when there was a
knock at the door. When I looked through the peep hole, I didn’t recognize the
tall man standing on the other side.
“Who is it?” I asked through the
door.
“My name is Jason. I live in the
apartment next door. I have a package for you that was delivered to my place
by mistake....”
“Oh. Okay.” Huh.
As I put my hand on the top lock to
turn it, I looked down at myself for a moment and consider not opening the
door. I was still in my sweaty yoga pants and tank top – both of them are more
than a little damp and I do not ‘glisten’ when I work out. I sweat. Oh well.
Neighbors are probably going to see me a whole lot worse when Mia and I get
sick at the same time and I don’t have time to shower for a week.
I unlatched the locks and opened the door…
and was nearly struck dumb by the man standing on the other side. Tall, broad,
muscular and tan, he was everything that starred in my nightly fantasies from
the neck down. His thigh muscles pressed against his slacks, his pecs proved
his chest was firm – probably lickable. I bet he doesn’t even stop at a six
pack. What comes after that? Eight? Ten? How high can it go?
When I finally glanced up to meet his
eyes, he was smiling a little too hard at me. Busted. I could feel heat creep
up my neck and across my cheeks.
His dark hair was cut close to his
head and his eyes were the gray of a stormy summer sky. And he was laughing at
me. Because I was standing here practically drooling over him. Awesome.
He stuck out his right hand and said,
“Jason Davies. Apartment 6B.”
I looked at his hand for a second
before raising my own to take it. “Emma Parsons. 6C…. Uh. Obviously you
already knew that…” I stammered. I felt myself turning even more red as he
continued to hold my hand and smile. I am seriously stunted in social
development sometimes.
“So…you have a package for me?” I
saw his eyebrow quirk before he released my hand. A package…. I couldn’t help
glancing down to the front of his khaki slacks in response to the thought to
check out his own personal package before mentally slapping myself and jerking my
eyes back to his. I have issues, apparently.
He handed me a box that had obviously
already been opened. The tape had been cut and not replaced and the four sides
had been crisscrossed over one another to hold it shut. I just looked at him.
He didn’t just get my package, he opened it. RUDE.
He looked a little embarrassed and
explained, “I do a lot of…computer work from home, so I’m always getting
shipments of parts. I didn’t even look at the name until I opened it and
realized it was…. Uh. It wasn’t something I had ordered.” He looked away from
me and seemed slightly uncomfortable suddenly. It’s really not a big deal, but
it’s kind of cute that he feels guilty for accidentally opening my mail.
The timer in my kitchen went off,
letting me know the muffins I made for this weekend are done. Both of us just
stood there while it beeped.
“Ooookay…” I said, finally snapping
out of it. “Well. Thank you for bringing it by. It was nice to meet you.” I
started backing into my apartment with the box in my hands, memorizing how his
shirt clung to his broad shoulders and his slacks low on his hips even with a
belt. He really was amazingly built.
“It was definitely my pleasure,” he
returned with a knowing smirk. Weird. Of course, I would probably smirk if
some dude was checking me out like I did him. Duh.
He was still standing there when I
closed the door and locked it. I peeked out the peep hole to see him run a
hand over his head before walking back down the hall. He was gorgeous! He had
acted a little strange at the end, but I could forgive that. Acting strange is
one of my favorite past times, obviously. I sighed and walked to the kitchen
to shut off the timer and take the muffins out of the oven. While they were
cooling, I started to clean up the dishes.
I kept thinking about him while I
scrubbed all the dinner dishes and tidied the living room. It’s really too bad
that it’s considered so rude to ask someone to stop talking so you can just
stare at them for a minute. Not that I even asked him to stop talking – I was
just kind of surprised to find HIM at my door.
In the shower a little while later, I
closed my eyes while I was running the washcloth over my skin and pulled that
mental image back up for viewing. I wonder where his tan lines end. I bet he
has those amazing V muscles from his hips to his groin. Mmmm. I bet he’s amazing
in bed.
Holding onto that picture of my
neighbor, I let my soapy hand slide down my body to my slit. I rubbed a circle
over myself and then slid my fingers to my clit and begin to draw them around
and around. In no time, I was panting and moaning at the sensations rushing through
my body. My strokes sped up, I steadied myself with one hand against the
shower wall, added just a little more pressure behind my slippery fingers and I
shattered.
Once I rinsed off and stepped out of
the shower, I felt a little guilty that I just came thinking about a guy I just
met. He seemed like a nice enough guy, too... and HOT. What if I act like a
total idiot around him if I run into him again? Wait. Been there, done that.
Ha. Okay then.
It wasn’t until I was crawling into
bed later that night that I remembered the box Jason had handed to me. I threw
the covers back and stood up to go get it when it hits me. It’s the box. The
box he opened because he thought it was his. The box that contained… my brand
spanking new vibrator. My brand new, hot pink, ribbed-for-my-pleasure,
adjustable speed, waterproof, guaranteed-to-give-me-amazing-orgasms vibrator.
That has now been seen by my neighbor. My very HOT neighbor.
“Son of a…! You have GOT to be
kidding me,” I said as I smacked myself in the head with the box. Maybe it was
time to move….