Boy in a Band (A Morgan Mallory story) (35 page)

I had three days left with him
. My feelings for Mathew were back with a vengeance, but as always, we were headed in different directions. The band was getting ready to go tour in Australia and I was headed home to Escondido. Mathew was pumped about touring another country and there was no talk of
us.
His emotional hold on me was evident. My best attempts to erase him had failed. Gayle felt guilty she had reopened the door.

             
“Gayle, like you said, he’s persistent when he wants something. You couldn’t have stopped him,” I reassured her. “Even if you hadn’t bet and lost, he would have found me.”

             
I thought about the other girls who must exist in his life. In three days, they would all be back. When he toured Australia there would be a whole new pool of screaming groupies, girls that would throw themselves at him. Gladly climb into his bed. It made me sad, for both of us.

Chapter
40

Gayle showed up right on time.

              “You look marvelous. It makes me happy to see you happy,” she said.

             
“Happy for me with Mathew, that’s a stretch.”

             
I left the door open as I gathered my things from the couch then walked out closing it softly behind me. It was a bright sunny day, not a cloud in the sky, and already hot. I knew it was going to be a scorcher, perfect day for being poolside.

             
“Nothing wrong with Mathew.”

             
“What?” I said, my voice rising as I got in her car.

             
“There’s nothing wrong with him, Morgan. It’s you and him together, the games or whatever it is.”

             
Hadn’t I just thought about all those things in bed, staring at a white ceiling, having my heart roller coaster. Feeling the love and desire, right along with the hurt and disappointments.

             
“Gayle, let’s not dissect our weird ass relationship. You know I can’t explain it to you any more than you could to me.”

             
She glanced at me with a small smile then backed out of the driveway.

“I’m getti
ng freaked about leaving, Gayle. We don’t talk about it, like if we don’t, it won’t happen. I know, once he goes on tour, it’s over. He’s back to the band; the groupies will follow, and it will be a matter of time before another bimbet enters the picture. I try not to think about it, but it’s not working. It’s like we’re frozen in time for now; not letting the rest of the world in.”

“Enjoy it while you can
, Morgan. If you won’t stay out of his bed, that’s all there is to do.”

“I love you
. You’re so damn honest, it hurts,” I laughed feeling a twinge in my heart.

             
She told me more about Bridgett as we drove to Los Gatos. I was nervous about meeting her; I didn’t know what to expect. How would they act around me?

Gayle went straight through the house and out to the backyard
where Bridgett was out by the swimming pool, lying on a lounge chair on her stomach, reading. When we walked out, she got up hurriedly and left her top on the lounge. She stood topless staring at the two of us, her small breasts perky.

             
“Oh, sorry,” she said, reaching for it.

             
As she tied her top in place, Gayle introduced us. Bridgett was tall and slender with dark hair that hung to her shoulders, brown eyes. Her body was more athletic than skinny. I could see her muscles and the firmness to her skin. Jazzercise had been good to her.

             
“I made up a pitcher of margaritas,” she said and disappeared into the house.

             
“She’s been nervous about meeting you,” Gayle said.               “Why?” I asked, surprised.

             
Gayle walked over and put her things on a lounge and adjusted three of them to align with the direction of the sun. I slipped one foot out of my sandal and dipped it into the water of the kidney shaped pool. The bright blue water was a perfect temperature.

“She wants you to like her
,” Gayle said, spreading her towel on a lounge. “She knows how close we are. Do you feel uncomfortable?”

             
“A little,” I said. “Don’t start making out in front of me, and I think I’ll do fine.”

She
shook her head and smiled at me just as Bridgett came back with the pitcher and glasses and poured us a drink. I could see that her hand was shaking as she filled the three glasses. I too felt nervous, about how they would act around me. I was almost afraid they might kiss in front of me and I wasn’t sure how I would feel about that. Gayle stripped off her shorts and T-shirt and went to the table. She put her hand on the small of Bridgett’s back and leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.
Okay, I can deal with that
I thought. Bridgett looked at me and smiled uncertainly.

             
“What a gorgeous day. I’m lucky the weather’s been good since I arrived,” I said, like Gayle’s greeting hadn’t bothered me in the least.

“So has Mathew I understand
,” Bridgett said. “Been good.”

             
Gayle laughed heartedly, and I understood Bridgett knew my whole story.
Not a bad way to break the ice
I thought. I smiled at her wit.

             
“Okay, you two, catch me up on you since I have been the one obviously misled. Gayle’s been keeping me in the dark when she knows all my secrets,” I said feigning hurt.

I got to hear the story from the beginning as we
lounged poolside with cocktails. Bridgett retold the story that Gayle told me at lunch. Explaining that she never intended for what happened to happen. It started innocently, with her wanting to help Gayle with her questions on health and nutrition. How to get in a healthy routine of eating and working out. She said that as time went on, she felt a closeness to Gayle she had never felt, a true emotional connection, something she’d never had with her husband. Bridgett explained how she couldn’t really understand her feelings at first, but that as their friendship developed, it became clear.

They had sparred and playfully touched each other over lunches, dinners, and at the gym. Bridgett had worried about her growing feeling
s and figured Gayle to be too young.

“Shit, I started having sex at fifteen with Morgan and Mathew. Eighteen’s an adult, I wasn’t too young.”

I swallowed hard, and stared at Bridgett, who didn’t seem fazed.

“
Yeah, she knows more about Mathew than she probably would like to,” Gayle chuckled.

Bridgett got up and refilled our glasses.

              “Telling my husband I was leaving him for a woman was the worst part. He was sort of a man’s man, so it was a huge blow to his ego. He wasn’t shy about letting me know,” Bridgett said.

             
I could tell by the way she shyly angled her head that she still felt guilty.

             
“I can imagine,” I said.

             
It wasn’t hard for me to conjure up his reaction, like an unexpected gut punch. A little like when Gayle had told me, but far worse.

             
The day did turn into a scorcher and I was happy to be close to water, constantly getting in and out as I tanned in the sun. Bridgett got more relaxed as did I; the margaritas didn’t hurt. We talked and laughed and by the time Gayle and I left for Jack’s I felt very comfortable. They never made me feel awkward.

              “Well?” Gayle asked as we drove.

             
“Well, it’s all new territory for me and a lot to take in. I mean, for hell’s sake, we double-dated more than a few times, so how was I to even think anything but men? You slept with Mathew and me, which I see you promptly disclosed to Bridgett. You said you liked it. Didn’t you?”

“I like men
. Don’t get me wrong. Right now, I just like a woman better,” she teased. “I let you believe it was a man because it was easier, although, I knew I had to tell you sooner or later. It’s part of the reason I wanted you to come for a visit, so I could tell you face to face.”

She glanced over at me.

              “I’m surprised you would think you would lose my friendship, but I can’t imagine it was easy. Your family knows?”

“Yeah
, they all know.”

             
“How did they take it?”

“Pretty well actually,” she said.

“I like her, Gayle. She seems mature and level-headed, unlike you I might add.”

             
Gayle laughed.

“She is.”

              She pulled up to Jack’s and shut off the car. She sat back with a sigh, putting her hands in her lap.

             
“What?” I asked. “Is there more?”

             
“Could the four of us go out?” she asked, without looking at me.

             
“Gayle, I did tell Mathew. I told him to keep it to himself. I’m not sure how he would feel about us going out like couples. Let’s just see. I’m in unchartered water as it is.”

             
She looked at me searching my eyes and I smiled.

             
“I know. For your sake, I hope it continues,” she said.               “Thanks.”

             
The TV was on when I went into Jack’s; no one watching it. I could hear voices out back, so I went through the kitchen towards the back door. There was a mirror on the table with smudge marks on it and a rolled up bill. I stepped out onto the porch. Jack was there with a group of friends, having beers. A joint was being passed around.

             
“Hi,” I said when Jack saw me.

             
“You can join us, sweetie, or I think Mathew’s in his room.”

             
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll go see him,” I said.

             
“You have a good day?” Emily asked.

             
“Yes, surprisingly.”

             
She knew about Gayle because I’d talked about it with her. I stopped in the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine. I walked through the house and down the stairs, hoping I wouldn’t find something I didn’t want to. I knocked, opening the door immediately. Mathew looked up from his desk.

“Hey
, kid”.

             
“What are you doing? Not like you not to be part of the party.”

             
“I’ve had enough of those guys today. I’ve been working on a song I wanted to get down,” he said.

             
“Yeah, what’s it about?”

             
“A beautiful girl, with blue eyes, who’s sleeping in my bed,” he said.

             
I stepped into the room and gave him a
whatever
glare.

             
“You’re so full of it.”

             
“No, it’s true. She keeps leaving me, though.”

He swung his body to the side of the chair and motioned for me to come to him
. He put his hands on my shoulders, pulling me down to bring my face level with his, and he kissed me.

             
“Are you writing something about me?” I asked hesitantly.

             
“I am. Want to hear what I have?”

             
I set my bag on the floor beside his chair and moved to his bed and sat down. His window was open, but the curtain stood still, the room was warm

             
“No. You’ll make me sad.”

             
“Can you hear the music, no words?” he asked.

             
He wanted me to hear it, wanted my approval.

             
“Go for it.”

             
He played for me. No words. I liked the melody, how the chords blended.

             
“You taught me to hear it, you know. Not just to hear the song, but hear the music. Then hear the words, the story.”

             
“That’s good,” he said with a grin. “A lot of people don’t ever hear the story, just the song. Feelings are how songs get written.”

             
He strummed the guitar. I watched his face and his expressions. I was curious.

             
“Can I stand the story?”

             
“Try,” he said.

             
I sat listening to the words: they dug deep. He sang a couple of verses and went back to the chorus and stopped.

             
“That’s all I have so far. I need to keep working on it.”

             
I leaned back on my elbows.

             
“It's so cool you can do that. I think it would be so hard to put the two together and make it work,” I said.

“It’s not that hard
,” he said looking at my legs stretched out in front of me. “You have a good day with Gayle and her girlfriend?”

             
“It was a new experience, I’ll tell you. She wants us all to go out before I leave.”

             
He cocked his head to the side and smiled his mischievous grin.

             
“So she wants to take it from a threesome to a foursome?” he teased.

             
“You wish. I don’t think that’s her intent. Besides you have all you can handle right here,” I said moving my hands down over my body.