Boyfriend (3 page)

“Maybe California isn’t a bad idea.” I backed away from her and shoved my hands in my pockets.  “I’m going to take a quick walk.  You need me to pick up anything?” I asked avoiding her eyes.

She shook her head.

“Okay,” I said heading towards the door.   I closed the door as I walked out, hoping my footsteps would drown out the tears I left behind.

CHAPTER THREE

The morning after I walked away from Natalie, I left before anyone woke up.  My ticket was not until noon but I didn’t want to risk running into her.  My train ended up being delayed, so by the time I settled into my seat, it was already close to 2pm.  Fortunately, I found an empty row near the rear of the train.  I placed my bag on the adjoining window seat, turned on my iPod and closed my eyes, trying to erase the image of Natalie drenched in tears from my mind.  Natalie’s cries echoed in the walls of my head, bouncing again and again like a basketball, the memory pounding hard and heavy.  I had nothing to offer her, I told myself again and again, hoping if I kept repeating it, I would be able to teach myself to believe it. 

“Do you mind if I squeeze in here?” I heard a young female voice say above my music about half way through my ride.

“Not at all.” My eyes were still closed.   I was hoping my back turned towards the isle, and my bag on the seat beside me made it clear I wanted to be left alone.  I opened my eyes, removed my bag and stood up, letting a petite young woman take the seat.

“The guy I was sitting next to smelled like vinegar, and he kept asking me where I lived.”

“Sucks.” I sighed, sitting back down and leaning my head back against the seat.  I closed my eyes again turning my music up louder, hoping to quiet my thoughts enough to catch a nap in the time remaining before we reached D.C. 

“So, do you go to Griffin?” she asked, after a few minutes. 

“Yup.” Realizing that I wasn’t going to get any sleep, I opened my eyes and looked at her for the first time.  She stared back with wide dark brown eyes and a small smile. She was wearing an oversized gray Griffin sweatshirt and jeans.  A small diamond pendant hung from her neck and matching diamonds adorned her earlobes.  Her dark hair was braided in long, individual braids and pulled back into a bun.  

She reminded me of one of the Lusko girls. 

The Luskos were a family that lived in our apartment complex for less than a year before buying a house in a better neighborhood.  There was a father, who wore loafers and fedoras, a mother with unreasonably white teeth, and two daughters.  One was Natalie’s age and the other was a year or so older than me.  They walked around with their chins tilted up and wide smiles painted on their faces, like they didn’t see the stained hallways or smell the scent of piss that swam up your nostrils the moment you set foot in the stairwell.  Natalie and I would watch them as they came and went from our dusty fifth floor window sure that the spaceship they landed in would be back to get them at any moment.  Remembering, I felt myself soften a bit and I turned to face the brown-eyed “Lusko,” taking my headphones out of my ears. 

“What year are you? I’m a freshman.” Her face was beaming with excitement and her obvious lack of motive made me smile. 

“Junior.”

She nodded and smiled.  “What dorm do you live in?”

“I live off campus.  I would ask you but I don’t want you to move again.”

She look puzzled for a moment then laughed.  “You don’t smell like vinegar.”

“I see… you have to be creepy and smell.”

She laughed again.

“You have an adorable laugh,” I said. 

She looked down stifling the beginnings of another smile.

I smiled to myself.  She hadn’t anticipated me flirting with her.  Her innocence was appealing and a distraction from the hell I’d dealt with that weekend.  I began to wonder just how innocent she was and how much energy I would have to put in to find out. 

“Letts,” she said after a moment.  “I live in Letts Hall.”

“Was that an invitation?”

“Are you serious?”

“What do I have to do to get one?” 

She smiled, her eyes lighting up as she gazed out the window as if searching for a way to respond.  “Are you looking to buy a futon?” she said looking back at me.

“What?”

“Well, I’m looking to sell a futon.  So, if you want to purchase one… you have an invitation.”

We laughed.

“That’s cold,” I said.  She looked relieved.

“I’m Kerry.”

“Nate.”

“Is everything okay, Nate?” she asked after a moment.

Not a question I get often.  Especially from strangers.  “What do you mean?”

“Tell me to shut up if I’m being nosy,” she began. “It’s just that when I was deciding where to sit, it was between you and that old lady two seats up on the right,” she continued, lowering her voice and gesturing towards the front of the bus.

“Glad you chose me.”

“Would you stop?”

“Stop what?”

“The one-liners… just because I’m a girl and you’re a guy doesn’t mean we can’t have a normal conversation.”

I laughed.

“Seriously.  I may turn out to be your best friend if you stopped trying to sleep with me.”

“Whoa! How am I trying to sleep with you?” I chuckled

“‘Adorable laugh,’ ‘Can I come over?’” She lowered her voice in a horrible imitation of me. “I mean, I’ve known you what?” She looked at her watch. “Ten minutes, dude?”

“Okay, okay.” I put my hands up in defense.  “I’m just trying to get to know you.  There’s a difference.”

She pushed a loose braid behind her ear and smiled.

“So, why didn’t you sit with the old lady?”  I said after a moment.  I was feeling a little embarrassed and rethinking my strategy.

“Well.” She hesitated. “You just looked so sad.  I thought the ride would be more interesting if I tried to cheer you up.”

I looked out the window of the seat opposite us feeling genuinely surprised that she’d noticed what I thought I was so good at hiding.  Looking back at her, I gave her a small smile.  “Not sad, just tired.” I hoped it would close the topic.  I could tell she wanted to press more, but she didn’t.  “So, what if I don’t want to be your friend?”

“Here you go.”

“Relax.” I smiled. “I’d just rather this ride didn’t end without you knowing I want to get to know you better.   In a way that isn’t just as a friend.”

“Like
on
my futon?” She looked more surprised than I was that she had said it.

“Hell yes,” I said laughing.  She smiled playing with her braids and looking away.  “Too much?”

“I’m good.” She looked directly into my eyes.  It was my turn to feel a little nervous. 

The conductor’s muffled voice boomed through the train.  I glanced outside the window and noticed we were nearing our stop.  I stood up and grabbed my duffle bag from the overhead compartment.  Kerry squeezed out beside me and pulled her small purple suitcase down.

“I’m sorry if I was prying.” She pulled the handle on her suitcase up.

“You weren’t.” I held onto a seat next to us as the train moved into a bumpy stop. “But let’s just say you were and now you have to make it up to me.”

“I’m afraid to ask how I’d do that.”

I smiled.  “Hey… I’m a gentleman.”

“I bet.” She laughed.  “Okay, how would I make it up to you?”

“Go out with me Friday?”

She paused, a tickle of anticipation emanating from her honey-colored skin.  “Okay.”

***

I skipped class the next day and got high with Phil instead.  We sat on the couch passing the bong back and forth watching random TV.  Phil was never as comfortable cutting class as I was, but he knew something was wrong the minute I got back from New York and poured myself a shot of Patron.   He decided to stay home the next day because he didn’t “feel like going” to class.  I knew he just wanted to make sure I was all right.

“So is it bad?” he asked taking another hit.

“Is what bad?”

“Your dad…”

Not bad enough
. 

I shook my head.  “He’ll live.”

“That’s good.”  He sank his head back into the couch. “Everybody else good?” 

I could tell he was reluctant to ask, but he knew something was bothering me.  He knew very little about my family other than we weren’t close.  They never called, and I rarely talked about them.

I nodded and took another hit.  I was trying desperately not to picture my sister scared in that dark room. 

Phil slumped back into the couch.  His eyelids heavy.  “That Asian girl from upstairs is coming over Friday to watch a movie, so I need you to not be here.”

“She’s cute.”  I got up and pulled a beer from the fridge and sat back down beside him.  “I won’t.  I have a date with a chick I met on the train.”

“A townie?”

“Nah, she’s a freshman here.”

“A freshman? I thought you like your girls with a little more experience.”

I laughed, remembering Kerry’s wide eyes and baggy sweatshirt.  “I could make her my type.”

“Poor girl.”  Phil laughed and reached for another hit.

***

When I arrived at Letts Hall on Friday night to pick Kerry up, she was already sitting on the stairs outside.  She was wearing dark denim jeans and a burgundy V-neck sweater.  Her long braids were loose and hanging around her shoulders.  Her pink lips were painted in a shiny gloss and she clutched a brown and cream wristlet in her palm.  As I approached, I watched her as she gazed up at the sky.  She had a smile in her eyes, and I wondered what she was thinking.  There was a mystery to Kerry that drew me to her but it also scared me to death.  She wasn’t anything like what I was used to.  I was sure she could say the same thing about me.

Hearing me approach, Kerry stood up smiling. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“My roommate, Jayna said I should wait for you to knock,” she began with a small laugh. “You know the whole gentlemanly thing.”

I smiled. “Why didn’t you?”

“It was such a nice night.”

I nodded allowing myself to feel the cool end of winter breeze blowing between us.

“Besides, she seemed just as excited as I was.”

I laughed.  “I can take you both out if you want, but one of you has to pay. I’m a poor college student.”

“No thanks.” She shook her head. “I like my dates all to myself.” She linked her arm through mine and smiled.  I touched her hand as we began to walk towards Phil’s car. 

“Now, I have to be honest,” I said as we got in.  She looked at me a little worried. “This is my roommate’s car.” She sighed with exaggerated disappointment. “I don’t want you going back to your roommate bragging about
my
car only to find out I don’t have one.”

“Well, it was nice meeting you,” she said pretending to get out of the car.

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed when I pick you up on my bike for our next date.”

“That would be fun.”

“I’ll remember that.” I grinned and started the car.

“So where are we off to?” she asked as I pulled off.

“Just a little spot I like, not too far off campus.  Do you like Caribbean food?”

“Love it.”

“Good.  It’s a place called
Spices
.  They have West Indian food and dancing on the lower level on Friday night.”

“Mmmm!”

“Was that reaction to the dancing or the food?”

“Both,” she said smiling.

***

Spices
was more crowded than I hoped, and the wait for a table was over an hour.  Kerry and I found two seats at the edge of the bar close to the kitchen.  The waiters and busboys narrowly squeezed past us as they moved in and out the kitchen.  We could only order appetizers at the bar so we ordered a plate of plantains and two rum punches.  We could barely hear each other over the bustle of the kitchen and the crowd so we leaned in close and talked loudly.  Kerry’s family was from Connecticut and she had a very close relationship with her parents.  They met while attending Howard University where they were very involved in their Greek organizations.  Although the Alpha Kappa Alpha chapter was small at Griffin, Kerry was excited about pledging her mom’s sorority at the beginning of her sophomore year.  Kerry had two sisters who were much older than her; they were both stay-at-home mothers living in her hometown of Connecticut. She was rooming with her childhood best friend, Jayna and had not spent much time off campus.  She had gone to a small private high school and was admittedly sheltered.  So she was really enthusiastic about being away at school and “on her own.”

“So, what about you?” Kerry put a plantain in her mouth. “I’ve told you all about my boring life, and you’ve said nothing about yours.”

“It wasn’t boring.” I took a sip of my drink.  “I knew you were a Cosby kid.”

She laughed.

“I’m from New York.  Have one sister,” I began trying my best to make my life sound as normal as possible.