Boys for Beginners (14 page)

‘How did
she
get
him
to snog her? He's a total hottie,' says Melissa.

There are two other people snogging on the sofa. One of them is Veronica Short. ‘Who's Veronica eating over there?' I ask.

‘Isn't that one of the posh kids from Queen Charlotte's?' says Foz.

‘Social suicide,' says Estelle. ‘She'll never live it down.'

‘Well, at least she's snogging someone,' says Melissa.

‘Yeah, but a Tartlet?' says Kimba. ‘I'd rather snog my hand.'

Everyone wants to get off with someone – it doesn't really matter who, just as long as they do it so everyone else can see and as long as snogging them won't make them look sad. There is no one here that would make
me
look sad because, a) even snogging the saddest bloke in the world would be a step up for me, and b) they are all in Year 10 at least, which makes them automatically cooler. Oh, and c) I have never snogged anyone so I kind of just want to get it over with a little bit.

We leave the kitchen and head for the garden, following the mission plan. Jenny is already out there talking to the twins Susie and Sarah Bird.

‘So me and my gals are going to make this the most awesome prom ever.' Jenny is saying this really loudly so that everyone can hear that it's the BB Club organizing it. ‘I'm gonna get my hair fixed in town and I have already bought the most awesome dress. It's timeless and classy.'

‘When is it?' asks Catherine Miele from Year 10. She's craning her neck to ask but she says it like she couldn't really care less, like if she's not
doing anything else then she might fit it into her busy schedule.

‘Two weeks' time. The 30th of May.'

Two weeks' time!
Oh God. Something else is happening in two weeks' time and I can't believe I didn't realize before. All the boys in the garden start looking at each other, wondering if they will be able to come, and I know why.

‘Like, what's the problem, fellas?' Jenny's noticed it too.

‘Yeah, what's the problem?' I ask, but I know exactly what the problem is.

Peter Jameson says, ‘That's the same day as the FA Cup final.'

Jenny rolls her eyes as if there is no contest between prom and the FA Cup final. And she's right, there is no contest – the FA Cup wins every time. I can tell that she's worried though. ‘Prom doesn't start till half seven. Will that be late enough for you to make an appearance?'

‘Yeah, the match finishes way before that.'

The female half of the garden breathes a huge sigh of relief.

‘Well, you better be ready in time,' Jenny says. ‘Don't want your dates to be kept waiting.'

‘We need dates?!' Melissa shouts what we
were all thinking. ‘When did we decide this? Why didn't this come up in the meeting?'

‘Of course you need dates, silly. This is a prom. Don't you know anything?'

We all nod. Of course we knew
that
!

Jenny continues like she's giving a seminar. ‘I know all about proms because I was in America this Easter. You have to have a date, and a dress, a corsage, and a limousine.'

Who am I going to get to ask me to the prom? It's too much to hope that Charlie Notts will ask me. Everyone in the whole school will want to go with him. (And what's a corsage? Is it a type of up-do?)

‘Will there be a DJ or a band?' someone asks.

We panic. The BB Club spends the whole of our Prom Planning Committee meetings planning how we'll have our hair, who's going to snog who, what the posters will look like . . . we never thought about music and drinks and all that stuff.

I have an idea. ‘My brother's best mate is a DJ in a club in town. He plays at Ministry of Sound in London sometimes.' This is true. Everyone is looking at me like I am the coolest thing since blue-flavoured slushie. I knew having a brother would pay off eventually.

Jenny looks at me and says, really nicely, ‘Oh, don't worry, Gwynnie. My sister, Stephanie, knows loads of really cool DJs; I'll get her to find someone.' Suddenly I don't look so cool any more, but Jenny quickly says, ‘Thanks though.'

Julie Innis announces that we are about to play Postman's Knock in the living room.

Charlie looks at me and winks. ‘A Ministry of Sound DJ would be so cool.'

I catch Jenny looking at me. ‘Yeah, Gwynnie,' she says. ‘We should all go there some time. You know, if you think you could get in.'

Please let it land on Charlie. Please let it land on Charlie
.

It's my turn to spin the bottle and I'm praying that it will land on Charlie so me and him will have to go in the cupboard and snog for ages. As the bottle turns I see Jenny look at her mobile phone for like the millionth time in the past twenty minutes. And that's a lot, even for her.

No one knows what happens when you are locked in the cupboard together, and the rule is you are not allowed to ask. But when Rosie Perry went in with Hamza Fenton we knocked on the door after their two minutes and they came
out smiling and blushing. When Shelly Nettles went in with Guy Holloway they were still properly getting off with each other and we had to demand they come out. When Samantha Hill went in with Robert Mower they actually came out before the two minutes was up – Robert was basically running out of there. And when Mandy Palmer got Aaron Webb she actually refused to go in with him, which is totally against the rules, but she said we couldn't force her and I suppose she's right.

So the whole Postman's Knock thing could go either way.

Here I am, the bottle's spinning around and I am using up all my wish quota for the rest of my life to wish that it lands on Charlie Notts. If it does, I swear I will never ask for anything ever again.

I don't believe it . . . It's worked! The bottle lid is pointing directly at Charlie.

Please don't let him refuse to go in the cupboard with me
.

‘Come on then, Gwynnie!' Charlie orders me into the cupboard.

‘OK, you two,' says Julie Innis. ‘You've got two minutes.' She starts the timer before we're even in the room.

I have just two minutes in a dark room with Charlie to make him snog my face off and completely fall in love with me. No problem.

‘Don't do anything I wouldn't do . . . which doesn't mean much.' She must have heard the same thing that Jenny heard about letting boys know you're willing to do stuff.

He opens the cupboard door for me and closes it behind him, leaving us in total darkness.

‘Gwynnie?' he whispers.

‘Yeah?'

‘Do you think we should kiss?'

Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes
. ‘Everyone will think we're weird if we don't,' I say, hoping he can't hear my heart banging through my open mouth.

‘You're right.'

‘But we don't have to kiss just because everyone thinks we should.'

Why am I talking Charlie out of kissing me?

‘Gwynnie?'

‘Yeah?'

‘Come here.'

I feel his hands reaching out for mine. He takes my hands and pulls me closer to him. The trouble is, neither of us can see where our lips are, so the first thing that happens is that I lick his shoulder.

I am mortified, but Charlie laughs and I suppose it is quite funny, so I laugh too.

‘Gwynnie?'

‘Yeah?'

‘So that we avoid headbutting each other unconscious, how about I hold your face in my hands?'

‘Swrmph flllrrr.' I can't speak I'm so excited.

‘What was that?'

‘I said,
Sure, good idea
.'

He laughs again and lifts his hands to touch
my face and he kind of brushes my boob as he passes. I don't think he meant to . . . but still. He holds my head and pulls me towards him.

Just as we're about to kiss my phone beeps.

‘What was that?' he asks.

‘I didn't hear anything,' I say.

‘I think it was your phone. You better check.'

I hate this flipping phone (ironically enough, it is a flip phone). ‘OK,' I say. ‘It'll probably be nothing though.'

I flip open the flipping phone. ‘It's Paul.'

hi g. im outside. julie innis wont let me in and jennys not answering my txts. come outside and get me will u?

I'm ashamed to say that if Charlie wasn't reading the message over my shoulder I don't know what I would have done.

‘We better go and get him,' I say, knowing that Charlie would want me to.

We come out of the cupboard and everyone is looking at us because we've been in there less than two minutes. Paul owes me big time.

I'm too sad to say anything but Charlie says, ‘We've decided to boycott this party because our best friends aren't allowed in. Jenny, are you coming?'

Jenny is spinning the bottle.

‘Jenny?' I ask.

She waits as it spins.

‘Jenny,' says Charlie, ‘Paul's waiting outside.'

The bottle lands on Jared Ream, who is the greasiest boy in the whole school. Jenny looks horrified. She stands up and says, ‘Yeah, this game is so immature. We're leaving.'

We leave the room looking high and mighty. Which I hope disguises how completely gutted I am.

When we get outside Paul is there and he doesn't look happy.

‘Why didn't you answer my texts?' he says to Jenny.

‘Did you send me a text, doll?' she replies, all innocent. ‘My cell must have been out of batteries.'

I'm not buying that, and Paul's not either. ‘Your phone has been out of batteries a lot recently,' he says. ‘Every time I text you, you say it's out of batteries. But when I call, it rings.'

Jenny looks like she's just been outsmarted by Einstein.

‘Er, well.' She tries a tactic that I must remember for whenever I get a boyfriend (no
jokes, please!). She steps towards him, looks him in the eye, then pouts and looks really sad. ‘I missed you so much in that party, babe. I wished you were there, but Julie Innis was being such a hag. I thought if I could appeal to her better nature then she would let you in.' Hang on, is that a tear in her eye? I don't like the fact that she is lying to Paul, but there's no denying she's good at it. She continues, ‘It turns out that Julie Innis doesn't have a better nature. So that's when I said I wasn't spinning the bottle any more, and I got Gwynnie and Charlie and told them that we had to leave. For you.'

Now that has really got me narked. She basically had to be dragged out of that party by me and Charlie and now she's taking all the credit.

‘You were playing spin the bottle?!' Paul is angry.

‘No,' says Jenny.

Now, technically, that's true. We were playing Postman's Knock, which is slightly different because the kissing goes on behind closed doors, but that probably makes it worse.

Paul turns to me. ‘Is that what happened, Gwynnie?'

Paul used to be my best mate, but Jenny is my new best mate and I don't want her to get in trouble. This is very tricky. Jenny is looking at me like nothing is wrong, like she's a completely devoted girlfriend who made her friends leave the best party ever so that she could be with her boyfriend. She is so sincere that it makes me question my sanity.

‘I . . . er . . . I . . .' Suddenly I've become about as coherent as my dad at the Mohans' New Year's Eve party. ‘Yeah,' I say. What else can I do?

‘Really?' Paul asks.

‘Why don't you believe her?' Jenny says, like she's the one with a right to be mad. ‘That's what she said, isn't it?'

They're looking at me again, but luckily Charlie comes to my rescue. ‘Look, guys, we don't want to get involved. I'll walk Gwynnie home and we'll leave you two to it.'

Charlie Notts is my complete hero.
And
he's said he'll walk me home, which is so nice of him because it is totally out of his way. We leave and Jenny is looking back at us like she wishes she was walking with us. Paul just looks angry. I can hear him saying, ‘I'm getting pretty sick of
this. First you insist that I meet you at the party rather than at your house because it's more romantic—'

‘Well, maybe if you were a bit more romantic I wouldn't have to come up with ways to make you more romantic . . .'

Their argument drifts away like police sirens as me and Charlie head off. ‘I hope those two will be all right,' I say. ‘They're such a good couple.' It's only after I say it out loud that I realize it's not true. Jenny and Paul have nothing in common and I don't know how they have lasted this long. It's probably something to do with Jenny's big boobs and Paul's ability to look like he's listening when he's not.

‘Couples always break up eventually,' says Charlie.

I suppose he's right. The likelihood is that Paul and Jenny won't get married. It's weird – I hated it when Paul and Jenny got together, but now that they might be breaking up it feels wrong.