Brat (17 page)

“I’m sorry,” Julie said after a while, her nose red as she wiped her eyes with her fingertips. “It’s just hard to talk about. For so long, we gave up hope that we’d ever have children. Once we became more financially stable and bought our first home, we decided adoption was the way to go. We’ve been waiting for a mother to choose us for adoption for two years now, and every one that passes without choosing us just gets harder and harder. I know we said we didn’t want to pressure you, but you have to know … nobody will love that little baby more than we would. I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl. I don’t care what it looks like, or if it grows up in sixteen years to hate me like teenagers do … we want this baby.”

“We want you to be the parents,” Chase said suddenly.

I glanced over at Chase incredulously, surprised to find tears shining in his eyes as well. He pressed his thumb and forefinger against his eyes and wiped them away before meeting my gaze. I found there the same surety I’d felt the first time we’d met the Hammonds.

“What?” Shock rippled across Matthew’s face as he glanced back and forth between me and Chase. “Really?”

Julie pressed a hand over her mouth to stifle another sob. “Oh my God,” she whispered, her voice muffled.

Chase took my hand and squeezed it. I smiled at him, then at them. “You’re the ones,” I said. “We’re sure of it now. We want you to adopt our baby.”

“Oh my God,” Matthew said, echoing his wife. “I don’t even know what to say … this is incredible!”

“Say yes, for starters,” Chase said with a chuckle.

Matthew laughed too, and Julie sobbed some more, this time from happiness. She stood and threw her arms around me, her tears wetting the front of my dress. I hugged her back tightly, a sense of peace flooding through me now that an official decision had been made.

“You two don’t know how happy you’ve made us!” Julie exclaimed as she let me go, clenching her hands tightly in front of her. “This is a dream come true. Thank you so much!”

“No,” I said, “thank you. Chase and I talked for a long time about the kind of parents we wanted for this baby, and you are
our
dream come true.” Julie’s smile was already so radiant, I couldn’t help but want to make her day even better. “We had another sonogram done today,” I added, reaching into my purse for the image. “The doctor said everything looks great and the baby is perfectly healthy.”

“Oh, can I see?” Julie asked breathlessly, even as I handed her the little picture. Matthew held on to her shoulders and peered over the top of her head. Silence filled the yard as they stared at the picture for a long while, just soaking little Blob in.

“Would you like to know the sex?” Chase asked. “Or do you want to be surprised?”

“Are you kidding? Of course we want to know!” Matthew exclaimed.

Chase and I exchanged smug grins before telling them together, “It’s a girl!”

Chapter 11

That night, I returned home to find Kinsley sprawled on the floor of her new bedroom. I never would have noticed if it weren’t for her foot, sticking out just over the threshold of the door. My heart leapt into my throat as a dozen different reasons she might have collapsed went through my mind.

“Oh my God, Kins!” I screeched, dropping my purse and keys on the floor, dashing into the room, and dropping to my knees beside her. The room was dark, but the hallway light cast a triangle of meager light inside, illuminating Kinsley’s face. Her normally rich brown skin had paled and had a grayish cast. I reached out to touch her, grabbing her shoulder and shaking it gently. “Kinsley, are you okay? Talk to me!”

Through the strands of hair that had fallen into her face, I could see that her eyes were wide, but glazed over and unfocused. Her lips were parted, but her breathing was shallow and rapid. Tremors shook her from head to toe, causing her teeth to chatter in concert with her noisy breathing. Pulling her into my lap, I held on tight and screamed for help.

“Chase! Christian! Somebody, help me!” My tears splattered her face as I leaned over her, hopelessly trying to understand what was happening here. “Kinsley, what’s happened? What did you do?”

The tremors increased and Kinsley’s lips moved as if she was trying to tell me something. “Just … one more … week …” she managed before the tremors turned into full-on convulsions.

Eyes darting around the room, I found a brand new bottle of diet pills on the nightstand nearby. I cursed, my grip on her tightening as I tried to keep her from hurting herself—the convulsions were so powerful now, I could barely keep a grip on her.

“Chloe, are you—” Chase’s voice trailed off on a strangled gasp when he noticed Kinsley in my arms. Christian bumped into him, having barreled up the stairs right behind him at the sound of my screams.

“Call an ambulance!” I cried, hysterical by now. “I think she just overdosed on diet pills!”

“How could I not know this was going on with her?” Jenn cried as she paced back and forth in the waiting area of Seton Medical Center’s Emergency Room. “I’m her best friend!”

Luke stood and went to her, pulling her against his chest. “It’s okay, Jenn. You’re not a mind reader. We all knew something was going on with her, but she wouldn’t talk to anyone about it.”

“I knew that bitch coach was riding her ass about losing weight,” Jenn said, fisting Luke’s shirt tightly. “I should have seen the signs. I’ve been so caught up …”

“I knew,” I whispered from my seat between Christian and Chase.

Chase frowned, turning toward me. “You knew?”

I lowered my head and tried not to let myself fall into a fit of tears again. The guilt was so heavy, I thought it might crush me. How could such a great day have gone down the toilet so quickly?

“I just found out last week,” I said quickly. “I took the pills from her and told her how dangerous her behavior was. I thought she just needed someone to point that out to her, and if it didn’t work, I’d tell you guys maybe we could stage some kind of intervention or even call her parents. I never got that far, though.”

“You knew and you didn’t tell me?” Jenn screeched. “Chloe!”

“Hey!” Christian interjected, jumping to his feet. “Leave her alone! She has her own shit to worry about between the baby and her parents and all. You’re supposed to be her best friend and you weren’t there for her because you were too busy with Luke!”

Jenn gasped, and Luke quickly jumped to her defense. “That’s not fair,” he growled, stepping in front of Jenn and squaring off with Christian.

Christian didn’t back down, coming forward until their chests bumped and they were almost nose to nose. “Isn’t it? We’ve hardly seen you two since you started screwing. No one else exists anymore since you moved next door.”

Luke’s fists flexed at his side like he wanted to hit Christian. Good thing he didn’t, though. I think we all know he’d have got his ass kicked. Jenn grabbed one his arms as if to stead him, shaking her head. “Our relationship has nothing to do with this,” he hissed from between clenched teeth, “and we
have
been around. We’ve all tried to get through to Kinsley.”

“Exactly,” Chase interjected calmly, “and nothing worked. That can’t be helped. You guys can’t play the blame game, you need one another too much right now. Kinsley is your friend and she’s going to need all of you as a single unit. So stop fighting and sit down. They’ll send someone out when there’s word.”

Surprisingly, Chase got through to them, and Luke, Christian, and Jenn took seats across from us. Jenn looked up at me meekly.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, a fresh wave of tears running down her face. “I’m glad you were there when it happened.

I nodded. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it. We’re all just worried sick. It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry, too, man,” Christian said to Luke. In typical guy fashion, Luke accepted the apology with a silent nod and they were back to being best buds again. I don’t know how they do that.

A few moments later, a nurse emerged from the swinging doors leading into the Emergency Room. We all stood and converged on her at once, our voices mingling as we pelted her with questions.

“We’re going to have to admit her for observation overnight,” the nurse said once she’d waved her hands for silence. “As you suspected, your friend overdosed on those diet pills she was taking. That was quick thinking, calling an ambulance and getting her here so fast. If you hadn’t, she might have suffered a heart attack and died.”

Jenn gasped. “Will she be okay?”

The nurse sighed. “Listen, your friend is showing all the classic signs of an eating disorder. She resting now, and we haven’t had a chance to talk to her much yet, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that in addition to the pills she’s also been bingeing and purging. It’s a serious problem, and even though we can get her better, recovery isn’t going to be easy. She’s going to need constant help and support … maybe even enrollment in a program.”

“Like rehab?” Luke asked, his brow wrinkled.

“Kind of like that, yes,” she said gently. “For a bulimic, purging is like an addiction. So are the diet pills, and anything else she might be using to lose the weight. It’s an obsessive compulsive behavior, one that she’ll need therapy and perhaps even medication to overcome.”

“We’ll be there for her,” I said, stepping forward. “We are her family.”

The nurse smiled in understanding. “That’s wonderful, but I’m sure her biological family will want to know what’s going on, too. Has someone called her parents?”

“I did,” Christian chimed in. “They’re driving in all the way from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, so they won’t be here until morning.”

“Can we see her?” Jenn asked, wringing her hands. “Please?”

“I can’t allow you all to go back here. Two at a time, and only for a little while. Her room will be ready soon and we’ll have to transport her upstairs.”

“Chloe, you and Jenn go,” Christian said decisively. “The rest of us can wait until she’s released. We don’t want to overwhelm her.”

Jenn nodded and grabbed my arm, holding on tight. “That sounds good. You guys wait out here for us.”

We followed the nurse through the swinging doors and past several curtained-off beds. When we came to the last one on the left, the nurse pulled back the curtain and ushered us in.

“Ten minutes,” she warned before leaving us alone and closing the curtain.

Jenn and I slowly approached the bed, clinging to each other as we gazed down at Kinsley’s emaciated form. I hadn’t noticed until now how thin she’d gotten. Just then, I realized that for the past few weeks she’d been wearing baggy clothes to hide how much weight she’d really lost. I’d been engrossed in my own problems, I hadn’t even noticed. Now, hindsight was twenty-twenty and I realized that I’d completely missed the signs. She was practically swimming in her hospital gown, her collarbones protruding prominently. She gave us a weak smile.

“You guys can come closer, I won’t break,” she joked.

“You almost did break on us,” I chided, sitting on the edge of the bed near her feet. “Kins, you scared the crap out of me.”

She lowered her eyes to her hands, which were clasped tightly in her lap. “I know,” she murmured. “I’m so sorry, but I’m glad you came when you did.”

“If she hadn’t, you would have died!” Jenn cried, her voice equal parts sadness and accusation. As her best friend, I was sure she was a bit angry with Kinsley for not coming to her. “Why didn’t you tell me you were struggling like this? I wanted to be there for you, but you wouldn’t let me.”

“Because I didn’t think you’d understand,” Kinsley whispered. “It’s not just about being thin, you know. After a while it became about being in control of
something
in my life. Nothing is happening the way I thought it would and I just … I got such a great feeling from it, like a natural high … I know it sounds sick, but it’s the truth. After I throw up, I feel so
good
. Like I can do anything, and be whoever and whatever I want. I don’t just have to boring, smart, predictable Kinsley anymore. But then the high leaves and I crash, hard and I’m miserable all over again. I hardly understand it myself.”

I reached out to touch her leg, trying not to let it show how shocked I was to feel how slender her calf was. “It doesn’t matter anymore,” I told her. “We know you have a problem, and now we’re going to do everything we can to help you through this.”

“That’s right,” Jenn agreed, putting her hand on top of mine. “Even if we have to monitor your trips to the bathroom. Whatever it takes. We just want you to be okay.”

Kinsley smiled as tears streamed down her face. Even with her cheeks so sunken in, you could still see how beautiful she was. Her almond-shaped eyes were as bright and clear as they had always been. “I love you guys so much,” she sobbed. “I’m so sorry for putting you through this. You’ve been such good friends to me and I don’t deserve it.”

“No one ever really does,” Jenn said with a shrug, “but that’s why friendship and love are so special. Even when you treat the people you love like crap and put them through hell, they still love you, because it’s what you need to make it back to the good place.”

Kinsley sat up in bed and opened her arms. I hugged her from one side and Jenn came in from the other. We sat that way for what was left of our ten minutes, just holding each other and crying. We couldn’t have been more different or at more dissimilar places in our lives at that moment, but these girls were my sisters, and nothing could ever happen to change that.

“What a day.”

Chase slid into the bed beside me and covered us both with the blankets. By the time we got home from the hospital it was midnight. Emotionally wrung dry and exhausted, I ate a quick dinner and showered before falling into bed with the man I knew I could count on to comfort me.

“Are you okay?” he asked, coming up on one elbow and stroking my hair as he gazed down at me.

Turning onto my back to stare up at him, I surrendered to his gentle touch. “I am now,” I whispered. “Here, with you … it doesn’t matter what’s going on outside these walls.”

He smiled, lowering his head to kiss the bridge of my nose. “Kinsley will be okay. It’s not going to be easy, but she can come back from this.”

“I know. I have faith in her. Just like I have faith in the Hammonds. Our little Blob is going to grow up in the best home.”

“You’re right about that. Even though the day ended kind of crappy, I can’t pretend I’m not happy about what happened before all of that. I’m glad you convinced me to give them a chance.”

“When are you going to learn that I’m always right?” I teased.

Chase gave me a mock scowl. “You’re not right about
everything
. You thought we were a mistake, remember? You didn’t think we could make it through this and still find a reason to want to be together.”

“Yeah, well, we aren’t completely through this yet. We’ll see if you’re still so hot for me after I give birth to this baby and I have stretch marks, saddlebags, and saggy boobs.”

Chase scooted closer to me on the bed, his fingertips trailing down the line of my jaw and toward my neck. He paused at the neckline of my nightgown, his touch skimming toward the valley between my breasts. I shuddered as his the look in his eyes went from teasing and playful to smoldering and sensual.

“You’ll be beautiful,” he murmured. “Although, I can’t imagine you being more stunning than you are right now.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh please, I’m a whale!”

His hand trailed down further, cupping one breast before sliding down to the mound of my growing belly. “No you’re not. Your skin is glowing, and your body is just bursting with curves in all the right places. And this belly thing you have going on? So damn sexy.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

His fingertips skimmed my stomach as he slowly lifted my nightgown, exposing me from the waist down. “Oh yeah,” he answered, his breath gone heavy as he leaned down and placed a kiss just above my navel. “And I love your natural hair color. It’s like golden wheat. You should grow it out and stop dying it.”