Authors: Miyuki Miyabe
Dr. Baksan let go of Wataru’s hand and looked up at the domed ceiling. “When the sun sets, you will walk the pattern beneath the stars and go home to the real world for a short time. I will not ask whom you will meet, or whom you will speak with. Nor will I ask you anything upon your return. Follow your heart, Traveler. Should you decide to abandon your journey, and only then, come to my study. I will send a letter to Wayfinder Lau and arrange for your passage back through the Porta Nectere.”
“Have there been Travelers in the past who have just given up like that?”
“Of course. It is not unusual for a Traveler to end his journey before it is finished. The ancient books tell of this. Some returned to the real world, and others, though there are few, remain here in Vision. I suppose one could find a certain sort of peace living in a world that reflects the inner workings of one’s own heart.”
Wataru hung his head.
I can’t do it. I can’t run away to the real world, not now.
“I’m going to see Mom,” Wataru said, lifting his head.
He passed through the Corridor of Light to find himself, once again, in a hospital room. This time it wasn’t night, but evening. His mother was sitting up in bed, enveloped by the pale pinkish light of the setting sun. She was staring out the window.
Wataru popped out of the corridor and came down by the side of her bed. Kuniko didn’t seem to notice. She was very thin. She looked much older, but she was still his mother. His throat choked up with a combination of homesickness and guilt.
“Mom?” Wataru called out softly. He was surprised at how weak his own voice sounded. He wanted to talk to her, and at the same time he didn’t want to see her looking so sad. For a moment he thought it would be better if he just left and came back when it was all over. What good would it do to talk to her now while everything was still unclear? Wouldn’t it make her worry more?
He was on the verge of turning around when Kuniko lifted a hand and wiped at her eyes. She was crying. Tears made a line down her cheek in the fading light.
The realization shook Wataru even further.
I can’t leave her here to cry.
That’s worse than making her worry more. If I leave her now, she won’t make it until I get back. Her body will wither away. Her heart will crumble to dust.
Wataru’s journey was no longer for him alone. What Wataru needed in Vision was also what his mom needed, waiting here in the real world.
Hope.
“Mom?” This time he made sure his voice was loud and firm.
Kuniko’s eyes opened wide in surprise. “Wataru!” she exclaimed. With both hands she yanked off her comforter and jumped out of bed. Wataru ran to her with his arms outstretched and hugged her tight. It had been a long time—years even—since he had hugged her like this. He noticed immediately how thin and sickly she was.
“Wataru! It’s you, isn’t it?” she said, rocking back and forth, tears streaming down her smiling face. Then she let go and held her son’s face in her hands. She looked into his eyes and said, “You came home! Where did you go? Why did you leave?” She was sobbing loudly.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Wataru said. He was crying too. It felt like his heart had swollen to fill his entire body. A strange mixture of tears and joy filled every part of his body.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left you alone. I never stopped thinking about you.”
“Where have you been? Did someone take you? Did you run away? Were you scared?”
Wataru wiped his eyes with his sleeve, and, holding his mother’s hand, stood up straight. “Mom, I’ve started on a journey—a journey to change my destiny.”
His mother blinked, uncomprehending. “What’s that? What are you talking about? I don’t understand. You’re going on a trip by yourself?”
Then she spread his arms and looked him over from head to toe. “What are these clothes? Why are you wearing this costume? Is that a sword at your waist? What are you doing with such a dangerous thing? Where did you get that?”
The Corridor of Light won’t be open for long. I have to hurry.
Wataru stilled his racing heart and said, “First, tell me, how are you? Have you been in the hospital this whole time? What does the doctor say?”
“I’m fine, don’t worry about me!”
“You’re not fine, Mom. And look, I’m not hurt. I’m healthy. Okay? You inhaled a lot more gas than I did, after all.”
Kuniko’s skin went even paler. “I-I’m sorry, Wataru. That was foolish of me. What if I’d hurt you? I…”
“It’s okay, Mom. I’m not angry. You were tired, and unhappy. It happens. But I’m fine. I have friends helping me. Mitsuru Ashikawa’s there. He’s the one who took me to Vision…”
“Vision?”
It was difficult to explain quickly. Wataru realized he was probably talking in non sequiturs. The more he said, the more his mother looked confused, and the tighter her grip on him became. It was like she was trying to pull him back and save him from some danger.
“I wanted to change my destiny. I wanted to make it so Dad never met Rikako Tanaka, so he never left us. I wanted to change all this, to get back our old life. That’s why I’m going to the Tower of Destiny.”
But then I forgot why I was there.
Suddenly, a realization crept over him. “Even if I change destiny, I wouldn’t be changing myself,” he heard himself saying. “And if I can’t change myself, then no matter how I change what happens, I will never get rid of the sadness, or the hate. Vision’s shown me that—it’s shown me what’s inside myself.”
That was it. He hadn’t understood fully until just that moment. He finally felt the advice of Dr. Baksan, the Elder in Sakawa, and Wayfinder Lau becoming a part of him, their words running through his veins.
“At first, I thought I could make the past just go away. I thought that would make us happy. But it doesn’t work that way. I’d still be the same old Wataru. Changing your destiny doesn’t mean getting rid of everything you don’t like. Even if you made everything go away, you still couldn’t take it out of your heart.”
He knew now that even if he went to the Goddess and demanded that she abandon the sacrifices, it still wouldn’t change the fact that deep in his heart, he feared being the one chosen. If he used the Goddess’s power to abolish prejudice in Vision, it still wouldn’t change the part of him that wanted to blame others for his own hardships. It was all the same.
Vision is a reflection of my own heart. That’s what they meant.
“Wataru…”
Though her cheek was still wet, Kuniko was no longer crying. A mix of confusion and surprise still played on her face, but somewhere in her eyes a new fire burned. It was small, but it was there all the same.
—What is he talking about? It’s like he’s dreaming, or hallucinating with a fever. Like he’s gone too far into one of his games, and can’t get out. But still, something’s different.
Then, she knew what it was.
—He’s stronger now.
Though his words didn’t make any sense, it was clear that he had grown.
“Sometimes I’m scared,” Wataru was saying. “Other times I’m sad. And most of the time, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. I have a feeling there’s more of the same to come. But, Mom, I have to continue this journey. I have to find the true path to the Tower of Destiny. I know that what I’m searching for awaits me there. Maybe it’s not what I wanted at the beginning, but it’s what I need. So wait for me, okay? I promise I’ll come home when my journey is done.”
The strength in Wataru’s words caught Kuniko by surprise. For a moment, she let go of his shoulder and clasped her hands in front of her. She looked just like Romy praying in Dr. Baksan’s study.
“You promise to come home?”
“Promise!”
“Are you…are you alone?”
Wataru shook his head firmly. “No, I have friends.”
“This journey…” Kuniko stopped, searching for the words. “You’re not the only one who’s gone missing. That Ashikawa boy…”
“I know. He’s in Vision too. But I’ll find him and bring him home with me. We’ll come home together. I promise.”
Though Wataru’s words made little sense to her, the strength behind them was beginning to have an effect on Kuniko. “What should I do then?”
“Believe in me, and wait,” Wataru said, smiling.
Then Kuniko did something she hadn’t done in a long time. She smiled back. “Are you sure? That’s all?”
“Yep!”
From somewhere behind him, Wataru heard the ringing of the bell that signaled the Corridor of Light was beginning to close.
I’m running out of time.
Wataru gave his mom another hug and said, “Get better soon. And tell Grandma and Uncle Lou I’m okay.”
Kuniko hugged him back.
“I have to go,” Wataru said, stepping back from the bed. At that moment there was a knock at the door.
“You up, Kuniko?” came a voice from outside. The door opened. It was Uncle Lou. Wataru stopped, one foot already in the corridor.
“Uncle Lou!”
His uncle took a step inside the room and froze in his tracks. His eyes and mouth went wide open, and he dropped the paper bag he was holding onto the floor.
“Wa-Wa-Wa…” he babbled, shaking his head. “Wataru?!”
Uncle Lou ran toward him, but Wataru’s ears were filled with the ringing of the bell. It was ringing faster, more insistently now. The entire entrance to the Corridor of Light was flickering—blinking like an emergency cone.
“I’m fine!” said Wataru from the entrance of the corridor. “Take care of Mom for me, okay? I’ll come home, I promise! Wait for me!”
Wataru dashed into the corridor. Uncle Lou’s outstretched arm caught only air.
“I’m sorry!” Wataru called back over his shoulder, his feet racing along the corridor that threatened to disappear under him. “I’ll be back soon!”
As he ran, fresh tears welled in Wataru’s eyes. He ran on without bothering to wipe them away. He could feel the corridor fading, crumbling just behind his pounding feet.
Up ahead he saw the exit to Vision. Dashing forward, he threw off the encroaching chaos with flailing arms, and dove through the exit headfirst…
…and collided with something very solid. “Oof!” It said, catching him in midair. “Urk? Wataru? Wataru!”
It was Kee Keema. He was huddling with Meena, Dr. Baksan, Captain Ronmel, and Romy.
“You made it!” Meena said, running up. “We were worried—the corridor was about to disappear.”
Kee Keema gave Wataru a massive hug. His powerful chest and strong arms reminded Wataru of his uncle. The warmth in Meena’s gentle voice reminded him of his mother’s.
That’s right. Of course. The real world and Vision have the same heart: me.
“Are you well?” Dr. Baksan asked, his eyes showing that he knew better than anyone what was happening inside Wataru.
“I’m fine, thank you.”
“There’s been an emergency summons,” Meena said, a serious look in her eyes. “The Highlanders have new orders to help rein in the disturbances that are spreading through the south.”
Wataru nodded. His eyes met with Captain Ronmel’s.
“Right. Let’s go!”
The Highlanders had gathered outside the gates to the National Observatory.
Wataru’s group hurriedly arrived to find that there were far more assembled than before. The faces of the Highlanders still on duty looked serious and drawn.
“Your attention, please,” said a hefty voice from the center of the gathering. A giant waterkin was addressing the crowd using a wooden crate as a podium. He wore a round shield on his back and a curved sword at his waist. Though his body was covered with armor-like scales, he was wearing a boiledleather breastplate.
“My name is Boré Kim Nan, chief of the branch here in Lourdes,” he said in a voice strong and clear. “First, I would like to thank you for coming here to help us with the protection of our town—now designated a first-priority security zone by the USN government. Thankfully, the worst has yet to befall us here in town and in the Observatory. Save one small incident a short while ago, disaster has been averted. This is thanks to your vigilance.”
Most of the Highlanders were tall and Wataru found himself surrounded by an impenetrable wall of bodies. Thankfully, Kee Keema was there. He grabbed both Wataru and Meena and hoisted them atop his shoulders. Now that they could see, Wataru spotted Captain Ronmel coming down from the front entrance to the observatory. He was wearing his armor, and held his helm cradled under one arm. Wataru watched him walk down the front observatory steps and cut across the courtyard to stand a short distance away from the gathering of Highlanders.
As soon as he stopped, five or six Knights in armor came around the side of the observatory, a train of udais trailing behind them. Once they were acknowledged by their captain, they saluted, after which they stood at ease.
One of the udais had a heavy-looking hempen bag slung over its saddle.
That’s no ordinary baggage.
Wataru could clearly see the shape of a shoulder and a head wrapped up in the bag. It was the body of the beastkin who fell from the tower, Gyu Titus. They were probably going to deliver him to the branch office here in Lourdes.