Authors: Sara Humphreys
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #United States, #Romance, #Contemporary
She could have refused his offer. Told him “thanks but no thanks,” and that she and the girls would be fine. But she hadn’t. Jordan had been struggling to keep her head above water for so long that the notion of having someone help her was both a relief and completely horrifying.
Especially when that someone was Gavin McGuire.
What the hell was she doing? She’d intended to come back home and set up a stable new life for her daughters, not start mooning over her long-lost love. Frustrated and bordering on nausea from fried nerves, Jordan went to the tiny pink-and-white powder room in the back corner of the workroom. Grace was humming a tune, swinging her sandal-covered feet over the linoleum floor, and she paused to give her mother a wide grin.
“You have to go potty, Mama?” Grace asked with a giggle. “I like that bafroom ’cause it’s pink.”
“Nope.” Jordan laughed. Grace was obsessed with bathrooms, even if she didn’t have to go. Anytime they went to a restaurant, the girls would make a point of visiting the ladies’ room; the fancier the bathroom, the better. “I’m going to wash my hands because we’ll be going to Meemaw’s house in a little while.”
Jordan placed the clipboard on the table between the girls and peered at their drawings. Her chest ached when she saw Lily’s. It was only the three of them. No sign of their father anywhere. For the first month or two after Jordan left Ted, the girls would ask for him. But when he stopped calling and didn’t come see them, they didn’t take long to get the hint.
It was heartbreaking and infuriating at the same time. She could kill Ted for being such a heartless bastard. But she wasn’t just pissed at him. Not at all. Jordan was even angrier with herself for being such a poor judge of character and choosing a man like Ted as the father of her children. Oh, he had been charming at first but that didn’t last long. By the time she’d figured it out, her daughters were paying the price for her bad decisions. That was something she’d never forgive herself for.
“Look, Mama.” Lily pushed her picture over and grinned, pointing a yellow crayon at the paper. “That’s you and me and Gracie at our new house. I like it better here than being in the city.”
“It’s beautiful, baby.” Jordan smoothed the back of Lily’s hair and fought the swell of emotion. Keeping these girls safe and assuring they didn’t have a volatile childhood like hers was Jordan’s top priority. “I like it better here too.”
“Then how come we never came here before?” Lily picked up a blue crayon and started coloring the sky behind the house she’d drawn. “It’s pretty and I love the ocean. It smells nice.”
“It’s complicated, Lily. The important thing is that we’re here now, and I know Meemaw is so excited to have you come to her house today.” Jordan looked at her watch and her gut clenched. It was quarter to nine and Gavin would be here any minute. “It’s almost time to go, so clean up the crayons. Okay, girls?”
Shoving aside the cavalcade of emotions, Jordan slipped into the little powder room and shut the door. Leaning her hands on the white porcelain sink, she let out a long, slow breath. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. There was no denying the years that had passed. She was no longer the young girl with a fearless spirit, but a woman clinging to her sanity.
As if going to see her father wasn’t stressful enough, now Gavin had been inserted into the mix. Jordan let out a curt laugh before turning on the water and washing her hands free of the residue from the flower boxes. The funny thing was, she was more nervous about riding in the car next to Gavin than she was about seeing her father. Nervous and excited.
The old man couldn’t hurt her anymore, but Gavin was another story entirely. After their little encounter yesterday, it was obvious that she was still fiercely attracted to him. If they continued spending time together, there was a good chance they’d end up in bed. The prospect of getting involved with him again physically was intriguing, to say the least, but there was no way it could only be a physical relationship.
Not with Gavin.
In addition to wanting to strip him naked and lick him like a lollipop, she also had the urge to crawl into his arms and stay there forever. That little fantasy was a far more dangerous desire to entertain. It would mean gambling her heart, and that wasn’t a risk she was willing to take. What if they did try and things didn’t work out? What then? Move away? No. Her daughters needed stability.
She couldn’t afford a risk like that, and neither could her girls.
Jordan dried her hands with a paper towel and tossed it into the little wicker wastebasket before giving her reflection one last look. She’d told herself she chose the light-blue eyelet sundress because it was the first thing she grabbed out of the closet, but that was a big, fat lie. Smoothing the fabric of the skirt, she let out a sound of frustration and rolled her eyes at her conflicting emotions.
Blue was Gavin’s favorite color.
“You are a jackass,” Jordan whispered at her own reflection. She pointed at the mirror. “Yup. A great big idiot. And now you’re talking to yourself.”
Shoving aside the internal argument, Jordan swung the door open and found Lily closing the Tupperware box full of crayons. Jordan scooped up the clipboard and kissed Gracie’s head before tugging gently on her pigtail.
“Where’s your picture, kiddo?”
“Lily took it.” Gracie giggled and covered her mouth with both hands.
“She drew a picture of a bathroom.” Lily held up the drawing, a swirling mass of pinks and purples, with a stick figure that was probably supposed to be Jordan. “What a weirdo.”
“It’s a princess bafroom,” Grace proclaimed proudly. “I need glitter, but we didn’t have any.”
“We’ll get some at the store next time we go shopping, okay?” Jordan brought the clipboard over to Maddy’s desk on the far side of the room and slipped it onto the shelf. “Because what princess bathroom is complete without glitter?”
“Goody!” Gracie clapped her hands furiously and squealed with delight. “And Meemaw said we could make brownies at her house today.”
“It’s only nine in the morning, Gracie. It might be a little early for brownies.”
“Nuh-uh.” Gracie shook her head. “It’s never too early for brownies.”
“Mama,” Lily asked innocently, “when will the fireman be here?”
The question had barely escaped her daughter’s mouth when Gavin’s voice boomed from the front of the store. Even though the shop was closed, Jordan had left the front door open for him.
“Anybody home?” The little bell by the register dinged three times. “Oh well,” he sang in a painfully familiar way. “I guess I’ll have to eat these doughnuts all by myself.”
“Doughnuts?” To Jordan’s surprise, Lily scrambled off the folding chair, grabbed her sister’s hand, and ran to the swinging door. “Come on, Gracie.”
Sucking in a deep breath as the door swung shut behind the girls, Jordan leaned both hands on the long, stainless-steel worktable.
“I’ll be right behind you,” Jordan called. “I have to make sure everything is secured back here.”
She grabbed her purse, shut off the lights, and double-checked the back door, making sure it was locked. Satisfied everything was taken care of, and unable to think of any other reason to stall her exit, she stared at the swinging door. Sweat trickled down her back, and her quivering fingers clutched the leather strap of her bag. She could do this. It was no big deal. Like Gavin said, they were friends first. That’s all that was happening now. He was being a friend. That was it.
Steeling her courage, she followed the girls out to the main showroom. The scene that greeted her stopped her dead in her tracks. Lily and Gracie were staring up at Gavin, white sugar powder on their grinning faces and half-eaten doughnuts in their hands. He was wearing a white T-shirt and plaid board shorts, and looked every bit as lickable as he had yesterday.
Drat.
He stood with his broad-shouldered back to Jordan, both arms extended toward the girls, and his hands curled into fists. A smile curved her lips as he charmed her daughters, the same way he had when Jordan had first moved to town in fourth grade. It was how he had introduced himself to her on the playground, and to Jordan’s delight, the sweet disarming greeting was even more adorable today.
“Okay, take your best shot.” He wiggled his wrists. “Which hand?”
“That one,” Lily exclaimed, slapping his left fist.
“Nope.” Gavin opened his hand to reveal an empty palm. “Wrong again!”
The girls dissolved into giggles as Gavin opened his right hand, a quarter firmly fixed at the center of it.
“Looks like I get to keep my quarter.”
“I’m surprised you haven’t taken that act on the road,” Jordan said playfully. “If memory serves, I never did guess correctly.”
“Mama,” Lily said breathlessly, “did you know that Mr. McGuire can do magic tricks? He made a quarter come outta Gracie’s ear and then made it disappear.”
Gracie nodded and took a bite of her doughnut.
“I know.” Jordan flicked her gaze from Lily to Gavin, and her stomach swirled into knots of hope and regret. “Did he tell you that he showed me that trick when we were kids?”
“You mean you learned that when you were a little kid?” Lily asked.
“Sure did.” Gavin winked at Jordan before offering the quarter to Lily. “Maybe later I’ll show you how it’s done. But then you have to promise not to tell anyone unless it’s another magician. Deal?”
“Deal.” Lily nodded and wrapped her fingers around the quarter while gobbling up the rest of her doughnut. “Can I tell Gracie?”
“I dunno.” Gavin made a face and bent at the knees so he was eye level with the girls. Leaning his forearms on his thighs, he folded his hands and gave them an overly serious stare. “Do you want to be a magician too, Gracie?”
Gracie nodded furiously but nuzzled closer to her sister, clearly in awe of and a little intimidated by Gavin.
“She says yes,” Lily said.
“Well, I suppose that’s good enough for me.”
“Thanks, Mr. McGuire.”
“Call me Gavin or Chief, okay, girls? ‘Mr. McGuire’ has me looking over my shoulder for my dad.” Rising to his feet, Gavin snagged the brown paper bag off the counter and turned around, offering one to Jordan. “Doughnut?”
“Thanks.” She swallowed the lump in her throat and held his gaze. “Chief.”
Gavin shook the bag temptingly and cocked his head, giving her that narrow-eyed gaze he’d given so many times before. The one that screamed…
I
dare
you
.
“They’re good,” he sang. “And calorie-free. Fat-free too. Right, girls?”
Lily and Gracie laughed as Jordan peered inside the wrinkled opening, and her smile grew when she spotted her favorite kind.
“Chocolate glazed?”
“Your favorite,” he said quietly, those intelligent green eyes studying her closely. “At least it used to be.”
“Still is.” Jordan took the doughnut and moved past him. When her bare arm inadvertently brushed his, a shiver skittered up her back and almost had her tripping over her own feet. “Thanks,” she said, while trying to walk in a straight line.
“Anytime,” Gavin murmured.
As she locked up the shop, all Jordan could think about was sitting in the front seat of the car next to Gavin. The warm summer sun blazed down on them, and if it weren’t for a gentle breeze, the July air would be positively stifling. Or maybe it wasn’t the sun. Maybe being near Gavin had Jordan overheated.
“Mama, can we ride in the chief’s big truck?” Lily twirled around on the sidewalk before clasping her hands together in the traditional begging stance of a child. “Please? He said that we can even turn on the whirly lights.”
Before Jordan could answer her question, the sirens at the firehouse started to blare in the clear warning of a fire in progress. It looked like fate had stepped in and saved her from what was sure to be a stomach-churning situation. Gavin swore and went to the open window of his truck, grabbing his radio. Jordan didn’t have to hear him to know what was going on.
Lily and Grace covered their ears with their hands and scrunched up their faces as the sirens continued to wail. The doors of the firehouse rolled up. Opening the back door of the car, Jordan ushered the girls in and fought the wave of disappointment.
Jeez.
She was a conflicted mess.
“Lily,” Jordan shouted over the siren, “help Gracie into her booster seat, okay?”
She shut the door and turned around to find Gavin right behind her. She stepped back but didn’t go far, her ass hitting the side of the car with an undignified
oomph
.
“I have to go,” Gavin said, his face a mask of concern. He watched the truck pull out and turn right down Main Street, and the muscle in his stubble-covered jaw flickered with unmistakable tension. “I’m sorry but—”
“Go.” Jordan waved him off and folded her arms over her breasts. “It’s fine and it’s the thought that counts.” She held his serious stare as he studied her reaction closely. She could tell he was torn about going, but she also knew he didn’t really have a choice. “I mean it, Gavin…it’s okay.”
“Shit. I’m sorry, Jordan.” Before she could respond and assure him again, Gavin slipped his hand around the nape of her neck, pulled her close, and pressed his lips to her forehead. “I’ll make it up to you.”