Brawler (11 page)

Eleven Months Later

During the span of nearly a year, Laney and I got together and broke up seven times.
Seven.
I knew because I counted. The latest incident that landed us back together had been a birthday party Callum dragged me to for one of the girls we’d graduated with. One Laney had been at as well. Only an hour into the party and she and I were in the laundry room with her on the dryer and my tongue between her legs as she begged me to stand up and fuck her. I hadn’t because she was still only seventeen and I had ice in my veins, but as I handed her underwear to her afterward and lifted her down off that dryer, I knew what would happen. I knew the cycle was starting over and my stomach had tightened in an angry knot at the thought.

It was during that same year that I made a massive decision about my future – I was going to apply to law school. I was inspired by Dan and Callum’s dad and all of the lawyer’s from Dan’s firm who I’d met at parties over at the Monroe Mansion. They drove dark, gleaming cars instead of broke down Hondas. They wore crisp white shirts under perfectly tailored suits instead of coveralls with a name tag embroidered on the chest with another man’s name on it. Even their haircuts looked expensive. Polished. They drank brandy and scotch instead of Coors Light and talked about world finance instead of the price of a dime bag. The ghetto never felt farther away than when I mingled with them, laughing at their jokes and impressing them with my class load at Cal. Roaming through their midst was like visiting a foreign country for me, one I wanted a passport to.

“I’ve been dress shopping for Prom,” Laney told me as she scrolled idly through her phone. “I think I found the one I want. Do you want to see it?”

“I’m driving,” I answered evasively.

“You can glance at it. That is, if I can find it…” she mumbled.

My hands clenched on the steering wheel of her car as I navigated up the hill toward her house. We were almost there. I didn’t want to have this discussion in front of an audience so I needed to hurry the hell up and tell her. And she was giving me the perfect opening.

“Hey, Lane,” I said evenly, “I need to talk to you about something. It’s about the Prom thing.”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

I flexed my hands again, feeling my stomach roil hot and angry. “I got my schedule for my business class. It has a list of all the tests we’re taking.”

“Bleh,” she blurted in disgust, still looking down at her phone. “I do not look forward to that mess.”

“Yeah. Here’s the thing. The final is the Monday after your Prom.”

“Well, that’s perfect,” she said brightly. She looked up to smile at me. “You’ll take me to the Prom on Saturday night, we’ll party, chill on Sunday, and you’ll be back up to campus on Monday to take your test.”

“No. I can’t take the test that way. It’s a huge portion of my grade and getting finished with my core work early means acing this class. It’s the only way I can even consider Law School next year.”

She sat perfectly still, watching me. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I can’t take you to the Prom.”

“What?!”

I winced as her voice exploded in my ear. I nearly pulled over and got out of the car. She could drive herself home.

“Kellen, what are you talking about?” she demanded.

“Exactly what I said. I can’t take you. I have to stay up at school and spend the weekend studying. It’s too important to waste an entire weekend partying.”

“Waste?”

I sighed, pulling into her driveway and parking the car. “Don’t do that. Don’t latch onto one word of what I’m saying and ignore the rest. You know what I’m getting at.”

She hurriedly grabbed her purse, slamming her phone inside before snatching the car keys out of my hand violently. “What you’re getting at is that time spent with me is a waste. That the things that are important to me are a waste. That you’re a big college man now and your high school girlfriend is a waste of your precious time!”

On that very theatrical note, she was out of the car. She slammed the door shut behind her as I slowly unbuckled my seat belt. I didn’t bother trying to catch up with her. I watched impassively as she stormed off toward the house. I tucked my hands into my pockets and followed her slowly. “I’m not going to keep apologizing,” I told her.

She laughed bitterly. “You haven’t even done it once.”

“Fine. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t fucking care, Kellen!” she shouted at me, flinging the front door open. She froze in the entryway, scowling. “What the hell is this?” she demanded of whoever was standing there.

“I’m Devon. A friend of—“

“I don’t give a shit,” she interrupted angrily.

“Oh.”

“Laney, calm down,” I told her, stepping inside behind her. Jenna was standing there in the living room off the entry way. A guy I recognized vaguely from my last year at Weston stood next to her. He’d been a Freshman on the football team, just a tall scrawny kid, but he’d filled out since the last time I saw him. He looked less like a kid and more like a man.

A man alone in the house with Jenna.

“I will not calm down. You are unbelievable!” Laney shrieked at me.

I sighed, sick of this argument. “You know why I can’t do it.”

“No, I know why you
won’t
do it. It’s because I’m not important enough to you.”

“No, a high school dance isn’t important enough to me to miss an important test. I need to ace this class if I’m going to get this done in under three years,” I reminded her.

“Is that it? Really? Or is it because you’ve got some college bitch you’re already sleeping with that you don’t want to leave for the night?”

My temper flared, my body going rigid. How did this get thrown at me every single time? I’d never cheated on anyone, but every girl I dated accused me of it at least once.

“I’ve never been unfaithful to you,” I told her coldly, feeling like a broken record.

Laney laughed bitterly. “So you say.”

“Laney,” Jenna scolded sharply.

“Stay out of it, Jenna,” Laney spat. “And get this guy outta here. I know who you are, Devon. You’re the Junior class slut. The next Kellen Coulter in the making. We don’t need any more of those around here, so scram.”

Jenna turned from her sister reluctantly, looking to Devon and nodding her head. “You better go.”

He quickly moved toward the door, eager to get the hell out of there. I didn’t blame him. “I’ll see you later?” he asked Jenna.

She nodded again, but the smile she gave him was sad. Unconvincing. She was worried Laney had scared him off. She was probably right.

“You picked the sane one, man,” I told him as he passed me on his way out the door. I offered him my hand. “Well done.”

For some reason he hesitated. His eyes shot to Jenna across the room, his brow tight.

I held my hand steady as I watched him. Studied him, then Jenna.

Her face was flushed, her hair a little ruffled. Her pink lips kiss swollen the way I’d seen Laney’s a hundred times. Most telling of all, she wouldn’t meet my eyes.

Finally, Devon stepped closer and put his hand in mine. He held it hand weirdly, his fingers stretched away from my palm. It was all the confirmation I needed, but when I gripped his hand tighter and yanked him toward me, I knew without a doubt. His fingers flexed against my skin. They were wet.

I was going to kill him. I was going to snap his fingers off and cram them down his throat until he choked on them.

“What the fuck?” I growled at him.

He stared back at me with large, panicked eyes.

“What’s happening?” Laney asked, perplexed.

“What’s happening is that this little shit has had his about to be broken fingers all up inside Jenna.”

“Seriously?” Laney smiled at Jenna proudly. “About time.”

“I asked her if it was okay,” Devon tried to explain. “I didn’t do anything she didn’t want me to. I swear.”

“Oh really?” I asked doubtfully. “She wanted you to put your greedy little hand down her pants? That was all her idea?”

“He’s telling the truth, let him go!” Jenna shouted at me, her angry tone surprising me. She took a breath before adding softly, “I liked it. I wanted it.”

I stared at her, dumbfounded. Jenna and I didn’t get mad at each other. We’d never fought, never raised our voices. There was no reason to – we’d never done each other wrong. The heated look she gave me right then evaporated the rage inside of me so quickly that I felt lightheaded. I released Devon’s hand.

He promptly hurried through the door and out into the driveway.

“Jen,” I started, not sure what to say.

Her face crumpled. “I’m sorry,” she whispered shakily.

Then she ran from me. Not from the threat I had thought I was protecting her from, but from me.

“Real nice,” Laney muttered, stomping toward the stairs after Jenna. “You humiliated her.”

A door slammed shut upstairs. The sound jolted through my veins.

“What was I supposed to do? High five him?”

She spun on the bottom step to glare at me. “No! You were supposed to stay out of it.”

“So should you. She won’t want to talk to you. Don’t go up there.”

“Don’t tell me what to do around my own sister!”

My eyes shot to the upstairs landing. I was worried Jenna could hear us arguing about her and it’d only make it worse. I cast Laney a pointed look and headed for the kitchen.

“Why wouldn’t she want to talk to me? I’m the one who’s proud of her,” Laney insisted.

“Yeah, and she’s embarrassed right now. You going on and on about it won’t help her.”

“So you admit you humiliated her!”

I braced my hands against the island, leaning forward and shaking my head decidedly. “I admit I should have handled it better, but he’s preying on a kid. I couldn’t let that slide.”

Laney laughed in my face. “A kid? Are you serious? Jenna is fifteen, Kellen. Almost sixteen. She hasn’t been a kid for a long time.”

“No, she’s still—“

“She’s a woman,” Laney insisted. “She’s the same age I was when we first started dating and do you remember what we were doing back then?”

“That’s different,” I muttered. “Jenna isn’t like you.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“You know what I mean,” I groaned wearily.

“What? That I was a slut and she’s not?”

“Why do you always have to make everything about you?”

“Because you insulted me.”

“No, I didn’t. I was only saying she’s not as casual about this stuff as you and I are.”

“Whatever!” she shrieked. “You literally called me a whore.”

My shoulders slumped. I felt tired. Deflated from everything. I felt myself slipping down and out, into the darkness. “No, if I literally called you a whore, I would have said, ‘Laney, you’re a whore’,” I enunciated carefully. “But right now I just think you’re being a narcissistic bitch.”

She quivered with anger. “Get out.”

I turned to leave. “I’m already going.”

“You are such a coward!”

“How am I a coward?” I asked indignantly.

“Forget it. Just run away!” she shouted, shoving past me and heading down the hall. “People are having feelings! It’s time for you to go!”

She disappeared out into the backyard and I bolted from that house faster than Devon had.

I made it as far as the door. I was on my way out, heading for the sunlight and my motorcycle and the open road, when I felt a tug in my gut that I couldn’t ignore. One I could feel as I detached myself and tried to hide. It pulled me up. Up and out of the dark. Out of myself and onto the stairs. Up to the second floor.

I knocked lightly on her door.

“Go away, Laney,” Jenna shouted. “I don’t want to swap dirty details.”

“It’s not Laney,” I told her gently as I pushed the door open. I closed it quickly behind me before Laney saw me and knew I was still there. “I told her not to come in here.”

“Why are you here?” she asked, sitting up and brushing tears from her cheeks.

That shit hurt. Knowing I’d made her cry was pure pain for me and I felt ashamed in ways I didn’t know possible.

“’Cause I’m an asshole and I need to apologize,” I explained. “I wasn’t going to do it through the door. You deserve better than that.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yeah, I did. I was way out of line, Jenna. What happened with that guy…” I paused, telling myself to calm down. I wasn’t there to get mad again or preach to her. I had to make it right, not worse. “Whatever went on with him, that’s your business, not mine. I had no right to do what I did. As long as he didn’t hurt you or pressure you in any way, I should have stayed out of it.”

Her eyes filled with tears again as she bit her lip and nodded shakily.

The sight of it cut me wide open.