Authors: Maya Banks
“All or nothing,” Jasmine said simply. “I understand what you’re saying,
mamacita
. But I’ve already thought about that. I know if this doesn’t work out, things can never be the same. It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Then I will pray very hard for you to succeed,
mi
niña
. I love you dearly, and I want what any mother wants for her daughter. I want you to be happy.”
Jasmine hugged Carmen tightly. “I love you,” she said, her voice muffled by Carmen’s shoulder. “I never want to do anything to disappoint you.”
Carmen patted her back and pulled away to look her in the eye. “I am very proud of you, Jasmine. You know your mind. I’ve never doubted that for a moment. Your convictions are strong.”
“Let’s hope they’re strong enough,” Jasmine said. “I have a feeling they’re going to be sorely tested.”
Jasmine spent the rest of the day sequestered in the study with her computer. She answered the email from
Wildscapes
and made arrangements for them to fax a contract for her to sign. But she declined the offer for a regular column.
It may have been stupid, but she simply would not entertain that her future was anywhere but here at the ranch. And if worse came to worst and she was forced to consider a path that would take her away from Seth and Zane, she’d consider her options then.
At one point, she fell asleep at the desk, her head pillowed on her arms. She awoke when Carmen gently shook her.
“Go on up to bed,
niña
. The boys have gone to their rooms for the night.”
Jasmine rubbed her eyes and glanced at the clock. It was nearly midnight. “Goodnight,
mamacita
. I love you.”
“I love you too,” she said, kissing Jasmine on both cheeks before she left the study.
Jasmine stood and stretched then shuffled out of the room. When she reached the top of the stairs, she stared down the hall at both closed doors. She walked down to Zane’s room and quietly tried the knob, only to find it locked.
Hurt swelled and knotted in her throat. He was shutting her out.
The ache in her chest only grew as she trudged to her room. She closed the door behind her as she slipped in, and she leaned heavily against it.
She slid down the smooth wood until she crouched on the floor, and she drew her knees to her chest, hugging them tightly. What would she do? How could she force Seth to see her, to really see her?
Her plan had seemed so simple. But things in theory always did. It was easy to dream of how it would be, and that all she had to do was return, show them that she loved them and everything would fall into place.
Apparently she was a naïve idiot. So much for growing up. Maybe they were right. Maybe she was too young for them. Maybe she was just a silly little girl playing at being a woman.
But damn it, her love for them was real. It wasn’t some misplaced adolescent crush. She’d had those. She knew the difference.
And she’d never been flighty. She’d made up her mind very early on that she wanted Seth and Zane. Even when the opportunity came up for intimate relationships with other men, she’d held back, reserved that part of herself for Seth and Zane. Her body was too important, as was her self-respect.
She’d always known she would only ever give such an important part of herself to someone she really loved. It didn’t make her old fashioned or a martyr. It made her smart and damn choosy.
At the rate she was progressing with Seth and Zane, she might well die a virgin.
She heaved an aggravated sigh. It was time to quit feeling sorry for herself. She’d suffered a setback, but it wasn’t the end of the world. She could either wimp out or she could move on and form a new plan of attack.
Chapter Eleven
The next few days tested her fortitude. Seth and Zane both avoided her, and when Seth was forced into contact with her, he was stiffly polite.
If he’d ever acted that way before, Jasmine would have immediately called him on it, but she wasn’t ready to provoke him. Yet. She needed to think of a way around his iron-clad wall.
Zane, on the other hand, just avoided her. Once she’d nearly bumped into him on her way out of the kitchen, and his expression had become shuttered. He’d looked away before finally retreating.
She’d made a mistake thinking it would be easier to win Zane over first. She’d used their history of closeness as a point in her favor, but all she’d done was make things difficult between him and Seth. In hindsight, it should have been obvious that she was going to have to work on Seth first.
And so, with that in mind, she concocted a plan. While risky and a bit outlandish, it made her positively gleeful when she anticipated the outcome. It was just diabolical enough to work.
For the first time since the morning of Seth and Zane’s fight, she felt upbeat and positive. She dressed in a pair of cutoff shorts and a form-fitting tank top that showed off the diamond teardrop belly ring.
Seth would probably have a coronary if she took off in his truck again, and she wanted him in the best possible mood for when she enacted her grand scheme. So she sucked up her courage and went in search of Zane.
She found him out working on a section of fence near the storage sheds. She stopped at a distance, unable to keep from admiring his bulging muscles and his sweat-slicked body. He paused for a moment and shoved his hair back from his face. It hung down on his shoulders, limp and slightly curly from the humidity.
When he looked up and saw her, she started forward, not wanting to give him the opportunity to escape.
“Zane?” she called softly.
He shifted a little uncomfortably, and then as if realizing there wasn’t an escape route, he faced her again.
“Can I borrow your truck to run into town? I won’t be gone long, I promise.”
He looked a little relieved, and she wondered crossly if it was because she was leaving.
“Yeah, sure,” he said as he dug into his pocket for the keys. He drew them out and tossed them into the air.
She caught them against her chest. “Thanks.”
“We really need to get you your own set of wheels,” he said. “Something you’d be comfortable driving.”
She smiled and gave him a little wave. “I’m perfectly okay with driving yours. I’ll see you later.”
She walked away, not looking back, though she wanted nothing more than to go to him. She wanted to kiss him. Wanted him to take her in his arms. Take her back to the house and to his bed. She sighed. Hopefully soon. Patience had never been one of her finer virtues.
Once she saw J.T.’s truck outside the police station, she parked beside him and walked inside. The cool air was welcome after only a few moments in the sweltering heat. Summer had come early and with a vengeance.
She smiled at the secretary and motioned toward J.T.’s office. “Is he busy?”
Sandra, who’d been the Barley police department’s secretary since before most of its employees were born, smiled and waved her on by.
Jasmine stuck her head inside J.T.’s door and said, “Knock, knock.”
J.T. looked up in surprise and swung his feet off his desk. They landed with a thump as he righted himself. “Hey girl, what are you doing here?”
“You got a minute?” she asked a little nervously as she walked further inside. “I have a small favor to ask.”
He checked his watch. “I’ve got more than a minute. You want to grab lunch? I’m starving.”
She grinned. “Sounds good. I left the ranch before Carmen had lunch finished.”
They went two doors down to a small café that only stayed open from eleven to two every day for lunch. After they’d been seated and their orders taken, J.T. took a long drink of his tea and focused his attention on Jasmine.
“Now what can I do for you, sweetness?”
Heat crept into her cheeks, and she felt some of her courage desert her. She took a drink of her ice water, praying it would calm her embarrassment a little.
She cleared her throat as J.T. continued to look inquisitively at her. “I wondered if…uhm…” She leaned forward so that no one would overhear and whispered, “I wondered if you had an extra set of handcuffs I could borrow.”
His eyes widened in surprise. His lips parted, and then he closed them again. “I know I’m probably going to regret asking this, but why on earth do you need handcuffs?”
“Do I have to say?” she asked.
J.T. chuckled. “Oh boy. Tell me it’s legal at least.”
She pretended to consider for a moment. “Well, you know Texas has some pretty funky sex toy laws…”
He hooted with laughter and shook his head. “You’re serious. You want handcuffs?”
She sighed and sat back in her chair. “I’m desperate, okay? I need a way to make someone stay in one spot long enough for me to do a little convincing.”
“Damn. What a lucky son of a bitch. Darlin’ if you ever want to convince me, I can guaran-damn-tee that you won’t need handcuffs. Unless you really, really want them,” he added with a wicked grin.
They were interrupted when the waitress put their plates down in front of them. After she left, Jasmine chewed on a fry and glanced over at J.T. “So can I have them?”
J.T. gave her a thoughtful look. “Sure, I have a pair. Just don’t be telling your unwilling partner that you got them from me. Oh, and make damn sure you don’t lose the key.”
She chuckled. “Thanks, J.T. You’re a prince.”
Jasmine returned to Sweetwater a bit more cheerful than she’d left. J.T. always lifted her spirits. They went way back. Or at least the few years he’d spent hauling her out of Tucker’s bar when she managed to sneak in. He’d spent almost as much time looking out for her as Seth and Zane.
She tossed Zane’s keys on the kitchen table as she walked through, and she cocked her ear, listening for any sounds within the house. She could hear Carmen’s television from her room, but the house was otherwise quiet.
Seth and Zane had either gone out or they were locked in their rooms avoiding her. Well, that was fine because Seth’s time was limited. One way or another, things were going to come to a head. Just as soon as she got the chance to use those handcuffs.
Chapter Twelve
Zane leaned against the back porch railing and stared up at the broad expanse of stars twinkling against an inky black sky. He took a swig of his beer and set the bottle down on the wooden rail. Night sounds echoed across the terrain. In the distance a coyote howled, and closer, an owl hooted, followed by another a little further away.
As he took another sip of his beer, the bottle rubbed across the split in his lip, and he grimaced.
This was one time he was actually grateful to Seth for trying to kick his ass. Though Seth had certainly not escaped unscathed. Zane grinned then winced as he once again irritated his sore lip.
They both looked like shit, and while Zane couldn’t speak for Seth, Zane
felt
like shit. They’d had plenty of squabbles over the years. What brothers hadn’t? But never over a woman. Not one they both obviously had feelings for.
But the episode had forced Zane to examine a simple truth he’d been avoiding ever since Jaz had returned home. His feelings for her had changed. But the confrontation had also made him consider that for the first time, he and Seth were going to be at major odds. Zane didn’t see a way around it. He wasn’t willing to push Jaz away just because Seth thought it was the right thing to do.
He honestly had no idea how things would work out. Triangles were things of soap operas. Oddly enough, the idea that Jaz might have feelings for Seth didn’t bother him as much as he might have thought. In a twisted way, he imagined she probably did have feelings for them both. That he could deal with. The idea of Jaz not being part of his life in some way?
That
bothered him.
He downed the last of his beer and headed back inside. It was dark in the kitchen. Carmen had long since retired. She wasn’t exactly thrilled with him and Seth since their fight, and she hadn’t gone out of her way to be accommodating.
As he walked through the living room, he saw Jaz asleep on the couch, the television still on. He quietly walked over and took the remote from her hand. He pointed it back at the TV and turned it off.
He laid the remote down on the end table by the lamp and stood there looking down at her. She was curled into a tight ball, one fist tucked under her chin. Her long dark hair spilled over her shoulders, satiny and fine. He reached down to touch her cheek, unable to resist the temptation.
She sighed and nuzzled closer to his hand. For a moment, he thought she’d awakened, and he tensed, not prepared to explain why he was standing over her, but she snuggled deeper into the couch and resumed her even breathing.
He relaxed in relief then reached for the afghan folded at the end of the couch. He pulled the blanket over her and gently arranged it so she was covered. Then he walked away.
* * *
It rained all morning and well into the afternoon. Jasmine stayed away from areas where she was likely to run into Seth and Zane. It wasn’t that she dreaded the confrontation. But the next time she got close to either of them, it certainly wasn’t going to be because she wanted a long, drawn-out conversation.
She had no idea what to say to either of them yet anyway. Her feelings were complex. There was no simple way to articulate them. She was having a difficult enough time sorting through them herself without having to explain them to someone else.
Her preference was to show them her love. Make them see it, feel it. She’d never taken sex lightly, not since that night in Houston when she’d been forced to barter her body. In her mind, she was giving them a gift she’d never shared with anyone else. Her soul.
She locked herself in the study and piddled on the computer for most of the afternoon. Her latest project was creating a website for Sweetwater Ranch. Once finished, complete with all the guided hunt information and pricing, she was going to talk to Seth and Zane about launching it and advertising on a few online sites.