Authors: Summer Jordan
The damp feeling of rain hung in the air. Grey tumbling clouds were pushed effortlessly by the stiff breeze. The Land Rover spluttered as it pulled into the farmyard. Serge jumped out the cab like a excited puppy. Tanya was a little less enthusiastic as she lazily slid out the cab. The barn door creaked open and out stepped a plump middle-aged woman with a beehive haircut. She carried a straw basket filled with eggs. Bruce walked over to the woman and proudly smiled as he threw his arm around her. “This here is the long-suffering wife, Beatrice.”
Beatrice stepped up to Tanya and kissed her on once on the cheek.”Aye, would you look at that angelic face? Why, you could have fallen from heaven this morning.”
“I’ve never heard such a compliment. Thank you.”
Beatrice turned her attention to Serge.
“And this must be the lucky man.”
Serge’s face opened with a large smile. “Hello
, Beatrice.”
“That’s quite a charming smile, I know why she fell for you. “Beatrice turned back to Tanya. “My Dear, let me take you out of the cold while the two men tour the farm in the drizzle.”
“Sounds a great idea.”
* * * *
Serge stood next to Bruce in the centre of the farmyard, he walked a complete circle as he gazed at his surroundings. Crooked barns surrounded the cobbled yard on three sides. Warped by centuries of farming, they could have been held together by the dried manure that covered their walls. A modern barn sat behind the furthest outbuilding and dwarfed everything before it. But the centerpiece of the farm was the large two storey farmhouse. Built of grey granite, large dress stones lined its corners and the six large leaded windows looked out over the farmyard. “This place is amazing.”
“Aye, my family farmed this land for nigh on two hundred years.”
”I love that amazing farmhouse.”
“My great grandfather did a grand job building it to replace the original.”
Serge walked out of the farmyard and leant on a long stainless steel gate. He peered across the open fields to the valley beyond. Windswept trees dotted the vast green expanse. Cattle hugged around a long trough, competing for a space to eat. “How much land have you got?”
“Not a lot compared to some of the
neighbours. We just have the forty acres now. Father sold a lot of it … covering his gambling debts according to mother.
“I know a few gamblers. Safe to say that some aren’t as lucky as others.”
“Aye, that be true. It’s amazing the ups and downs one goes through in life.” Bruce leant on the gate. “Not bitter, he was a good father to me, just turned a bitter old sod in later life. Just have to make the most of life it while you can.”
“Yeah, only get one crack at it.”
“Aye. So you think you can be a farmer then?”
“Don’t think, I know can.”
Bruce laughed from the pit of his stomach and slapped Serge on the back. “Lad, I love your enthusiasm.”
“So, tell us more about the place”
“We might just have forty acres left now, but we have grazing rights on the moorland.”
“I know you keep saying, just the forty?” Serge chuckled. “That’s still sounds a hell of a lot.”
“Aye, might seem a lot, but the next farm has ninety, some of which used to be ours before father sold it. The Carsons, just to the North of here, have well over a hundred... And a wee castle to boot.”
“Right. Well, then what live stock have you got to fill these forty acres?”
“Those cows you see around the trough, they’re our dairy herd made up of seventy Friesians. In the furthest field is our herd of forty highland cattle, they’re for the beef market.”
“So you’re a cattle farmer?”
“No, got us more than a few sheep too.” Bruce pointed towards the foothills in the distance. “We use our grazing rights on the moorland for our three hundred sheep.”
“Crops?”
“You joking, lad?” Bruce kicked his heel into the turf, revealing stones just below the surface. “ Top soil is too poor, thinner than the hair on my head.” Bruce hitched his thumb over his shoulder. “The wife has a compost garden where she grows our vegetables and cooking herbs, but that’s all that grows here.”
“Right.” Serge put his hands on his hips and faced the farmhouse. “I saw some lovely looking horses on the way in. I take they’re yours?”
Bruce grinned with pride. “The white one is called Frosty, she’s mine, while the Brown s called Mocha and she’s the wife’s. We’re not very imaginative with names. Last but not least we also have a dozen chickens, and a really annoying cock. I’m not talking about the miserable bastard on the next farm before you ask.” Bruce but his hand on his stomach. “I’m getting a bit peckish, let’s see how the women are getting on in the kitchen.”
* * * *
Tanya sat at the large oak table. She hadn’t seen a real range cooker and she wasn’t sure if the large stone sink was in fact an old bath. The sound of the cleaver striking the chopping board made her think of what Serge has told her. “Is Serge right? Do you have to kill your own chickens?”
Beatrice stood at the counter with the cleaver in hand. “Aye we do, Dear.”
“Did it make you sick? At the beginning I mean.”
“No. Watched my mother do it as a wee child.” Beatrice continued to chop the carrots. “So it was never new to me.”
“Great.”
“Not just slaughtering, Dear. I have to pluck and clean out their innards too.”
Tanya’s face had turned a sickly grey. “Christ.”
“I’ll show you later. It would be good for you to know, Dear.”
“I have enough problems getting my chicken burger out the box without spilling sauce down my top. I can’t even begin to think what mess I’ll make gutting a bird.”
“I taught my two daughters to do it at the age of twelve.” Beatrice chuckled. “Then again, that might be why they ran off down in London.”She turned to face a pale
-looking Tanya. “Seriously, I think it’s good to know where exactly your food comes from. Makes you appreciate it more and I swear it makes it taste better.”
Tanya held her head in her hands and stared at the fruit ball. “Vegetarianism never felt so appealing.”
“Poppycock, Dear. I’ll make a farmer’s wife out of you, don’t you worry about that.” Beatrice rolled up her sleeves. “In fact, there’s no time like the present. Come with me.”
“I’m not going to behead a chicken now am I?”
“No, we’re going to collect some spuds from the garden.”
“Promise.”
“Come on.”
Bentham packed his suitcase when his bedroom door opened. He glanced u
p and saw his ex-wife, Roxanna standing with nothing on except his lilac work shirt. “What are you doing, Rox…?”
“I think you
forgot something.” Roxanna started slowly unbuttoning the shirt.
Bentham walked over and pulled the shirt over her shoulder. “Thanks, I’ve been looking for that everywhere. I have to go to Edinburgh, right away. Following a lead.”
“Hey, you were desperate for sex, now I’m offering myself to you and you couldn’t give two fucks about me.”
“Ten years, Roxanna
. Ten fucking years we were married. And you pick now to act all sexy.”
“Get out of your clothes.”
“What?”
“I said get out of your clothes... Now.”
“Rox, Babe.” Bentham stared at her ski slope breasts. “I can’t.”
“You can make this as hard as you want to. But I want to see if we still have something. And you’re not leaving this bedroom until I find out.”
Bentham loosened his tie. “Ok, but you have to be quick. Norman is waiting for me at bus stop on Grange Road….”
“Our record was eight minutes, he won’t even know you’re late.”
Bentham’s eyes dropped to her shaven mound. “You shaved your pussy for him? I was asking for you to do that for years.”
“Maybe if you weren’t too scared to lick me, then I might have made more of a
n effort. In fact….” Roxanna climbed on bed and lay on her back before parting her legs. “Show me that you still love me.”
“I’m in a rush, Rox
,”
“Dave.” Roxanna
grinned as she stared at his stiff shaft. She raised her legs and clamped it between her naked feet. “Don’t make a girl beg for attention.”
“You certain
ly know how to get attention, Rox.”
Roxanna
slowly started moving her feet up and down. “I know exactly what you like.”
Bentham gulped as he closed his eyes.
“Y … You certainly do.”
Bentham stared at her nether lips.”I don’t think I’ve seen it properly before, you know with the lights on.”
“What do you think?”
Bentham licked his lips with anticipation. “Looks quite... appetising. Is it clean?”
“As a whistle.”
Bentham knelt between Roxanna’s legs. He licked away like a puppy cleaning spilt milk. He became more confident with every one of Roxanna’s moans. “Doesn’t taste that bad. I don’t know why I was scared all those years.”
“Dave?”
“Yeah?”
Roxann
a forced his head down with her hand. ”Shut up and keep licking until I say you can stop.” He continued to lap away and didn’t surface until his tongue lacked the strength to carry on.
Bentham screeched as she pulled on his ear. Saliva glistened on his chee
ks and chin. “What’s that for, Rox?
“Fuck me.”
“Just have to ask, you know?”
“Fuck me hard. Get your own back for all those years I cheated on you.”
“Rox, what’s got into you?”Bentham winced as Roxanna slapped him across the face. The tingling in his skin lit a fire in his eyes.
“Spot whining and just fuck me.”
“You’re going to get it like never before.”
“Show me exactly what you mean.”
Bentham rattled away on top of Roxanna as if he were a man possessed. Sweat oozed from his skin and dripped from his nose. His muscles ached as he pounded away like pistons on a steam locomotive. “Shit, I haven’t got a condom.”
“I doesn’t matter.”
“You on the pill?”
“Christ, I forg
ot how much you talked.”Roxanna slapped him again and pushed him off. She straddled him and began grinding away like a pestle and mortar. “Oh yeah, I can feel it now. Oh yeah.” Her thighs slapped against his pelvis and coincided with the creak of the bedsprings.
“Shit,
I can’t hold, it. It’s here, Rox, baby.”
“Don’t you dare, you bastard. You wait for me.”
“No, I can’t.” Bentham, screamed out. “Shit, Shit.”
“Want me to stay, and have more nights like this? Then you hold on.”
“Oh, Oh…” Bentham, closed his eyes and shook his head as his body tensed. He then felt the tension snap as his emptied years of frustration in one go. His eyes closed as his heart continued to pound in his chest. A healthy sweat cooled on his forehead. “Fuck, yeah.”
“You have to finish me off.”
“What?”
Roxanna
climbed off and lay at his side. “Finger me, I’m nearly there.”
“You’re joking?”
Roxanna’s deranged eyes and panting lips convinced Bentham. “Do I look like I’m messing?”She felt his finger tickle her clitoris and held his wrist tightly. “Yeah that’s the spot stay there.” Her breaths were heavy and lustful, her eyes rolled back as she pushed her head into the pillow. “Oh Dave that’s it, I’m coming, I’m coming, Oh fuck Dave, I’m coming. Yes, yes fucking yes.”
They lay in bed in silence, until Dave was brave enough to talk. “So, what was all that about?”
“I turn forty next week. I turn forty and I feel I have nothing. I just wanted to know if I still had you?”
Bentham phone began
to ring. He glanced at Roxanna. “I really have to get this.” He grimaced as she rolled over and showed him her back. He accepted a call from Norman. “All right Norm, I’m coming.”
“Where the fuck are you? I’m literally freezing my balls off waiting for you.”
“I’m getting ready.”
“We should be approaching Watford by now, hurry up.”
“On my way.”
Bentham tossed the phone on the cabinet. “Al, my love.”
“Fuck, you.”
“Rox
.”
“No, Dave. You always throw it in my face that I left you. But believe me, you left me a long time before I had an affair.”
“What the fuck are you on about?”
“I married a policeman, you married the police force.”
“I told you, way back, that policing was a lifestyle rather a job.” Bentham placed his hands on his bald head. “And life as a detective is even more demanding.”
“You love your job more than you ever loved me. Now fuck off. I’ll be gone when you get back.”
Bentham sat up and started to dress. “Fine, you go back to your Javier, or whatever fucking barman’s name is.”
“Jose, he’s called Jose.”
“If you really love me, then stay. We’ll work it out when I get back from Scotland.”
Bentham parked the Jaguar beside the bus stop. A fuming Norman threw his sports bag on backseat and slammed the door, before opening the passenger door and sliding into the seat.
“Right, this better be one good fucking excuse, or I’ll slap you silly.” Norman then spotted Bentham’s swollen lip and bruised eye socket. “Fuck, what happened to you?”
“I just had the best sex
… ever.”
“Fuck, with who..? With what?”
“I didn’t just have sex with the ex-wife, she destroyed me. I mean, pulverised me. I thought I’d end up part of the bed frame before he finished with me.”
“Looks like it, tell me more.”
Bentham’s smile wouldn’t leave his face. “We have an eight hour journey ahead, so that should just about be enough time to boast about the best fifteen minutes of my life.”
“You lasted a whole quarter of an hour?”
“Ok, ten minutes.”