BREAKAWAY (The Dartmouth Cobras) (50 page)

His heart lodged in his throat. He hugged the wet, stuffed dog. Her surgery was getting closer, and he could tell she was scared. All the things that had seemed so important—like staying mad—seemed stupid now. Life was too fucking short.

As he lifted his hand to ring the doorbell again, the door swung open. He braced himself for the impact seeing Seb again would have on him, but his carefully detached 'Hey' drifted off as he met Chicklet's narrowed eyes.

"You shouldn't be here," Chicklet said, almost slamming the door in his face.

He slapped his hand against the door and frowned at her. "What the fuck, Chicklet? I thought we were friends?"

"Luke, I'm so fucking disappointed in you, I don't know what to say." She shook her head. "I never thought you'd be this ignorant. I didn't get details, but I do know you reacted because of all the press and that just makes me sick."

"It wasn't the press."

"Don't lie to me." Chicklet folded her arms over her chest, her jaw ticking as she glanced down at the pitiful gift. "Maybe something else triggered it, but it wouldn't have if you hadn't already been so insecure about someone finding out you weren't a straight little player."

Okay, he
kinda
got Chicklet being angry if she believed he'd lashed out at Jami and Seb because he was afraid of being exposed, but did she really think that little of him? "Did you know Seb used women to seduce straight men?"

Chicklet's eyes widened. Her lips moved. She took a deep breath. "Who told you that?"

So she'd known. He tried not to let it bother him. "Sebastian's cousin. A warning would have been nice."

"If I'd thought Sebastian was doing that with you—"

"Why didn't you? What made me different? Is it so horrible that I was fucking shocked? That was dropped on me after I'd already fallen . . . ." He ground his teeth in frustration. Everyone besides Bower assumed he was in the wrong. "You know what brought me here? I looked back at all the things I've done with Seb and realized I wouldn't have let it happen if I didn't trust him. You taught me that. You made sure I knew how important trust was and I should have trusted him enough to hear him out. I fucked up. I know that. But so did he."

Chicklet nodded slowly. "Are you going to tell him that?"

"Yeah. Soon as you let me in."

"All right." Chicklet stepped aside to let him pass. "But no matter what you see, don't you dare judge them. Whatever your reasons, you left. You don't get a say."

"I know." But still, Luke winced as he followed Chicklet down to the basement, the moans and a sharp crack of leather striking his heart and his dick all at once. He couldn't tell Chicklet, but if he saw Demyan fucking Jami—or Seb fucking Demyan—he'd lose it. Anything else he would take in stride.

Nothing prepared him for what he saw when he reached the bottom step.

Demyan had his face between Jami's thighs, his mouth covering her pussy as he groaned. Pearce knelt in front of him, taking Demyan's dick into his mouth as he massaged his balls. Luke had to drag his jaw off the floor as he watched. He didn't know Pearce well, but it had never occurred to him that the man could be into guys. Actually, he'd assumed every man on the team was straight. Except him and Seb. But obviously they weren't the only ones keeping secrets.

He avoided looking at Seb for a bit, turning his attention instead to Wayne who was fucking Laura so hard the bench she was bound to moved across the floor with a harsh, scraping sound accentuating pounding flesh. And Wayne was supposed to be strictly into men.

Or maybe Luke had been looking for clear lines where there were none.

Luke's heart stuttered as he finally allowed himself to look at Seb. In a white shirt, with his sleeve rolled up over massive forearms, he flicked a flogger over Jami's breasts, magnificent in all his restrained strength. Luke's muscles tensed as he recalled the feeling of Seb's hand, and belt, on his flesh. The feeling of Seb's mouth, of his body pressed against him.

He let out a soft sound, wishing he could just let it all go and throw himself into the scene with Jami and Seb. Wishing he could belong with them again.

Seb went still. His shoulders stiffened. He glanced over and the longing in his eyes tore Luke to shreds.

"Luke." The flogger hit the floor. He took a step away from Jami, then stopped and took her hand. "Jami . . . he is here."

Jami cried out as she jutted her hips up against Demyan's face. "He can't . . . can't see me . . . not like—"

"
Shh
. . . ." Seb pressed a finger to Jami's lips. "He sees us, mi cielo. More clearly than he ever has. And I believe, this time, he has no intention of looking away."

Tears clung to Jami's lashes, glistening as she blinked fast, emotions as naked as her body, her passion, beautiful and raw, leaving her more vulnerable than ever. "He'll hurt us again."

Cold droplets trailed down Luke’s back as he shook his head. He’d never wanted to hurt her. Or hurt either of them. But what could he say with so many people around? A small smile tugging at his lips. "I come in peace, boo."

Her startled laugh made her breasts jiggle. Then her lips parted and her back bowed. Luke's gaze drifted down and his mouth watered as he watched Demyan devour her with renewed vigor, as if he knew she'd be taken from him soon and wanted to enjoy her to the very last drop.

"Mi Rey . . . ." Jami tossed her head, probably struggling to find words through her pleasure induced haze. "Will you make things right? Please tell me you will? I can't . . . ."

"I will, mi cielo." Seb nodded to Pearce who stood and took Jami's hand.

Pearce kissed Jami's throat, speaking quietly. "Will you let Scott and I play with you, pet? I will steal him away from you soon."

"Not too soon." Jami whimpered. "He's . . . he's going to make me . . . ."

"Wait." Pearce hissed in a breath as he fisted his hand in Demyan's hair. "I need my mouth on you this time, with his. Don't come until you feel both our tongues inside you."

"Oh god!" Jami's back bowed as Pearce bent over her, his mouth close to Demyan's. "Oh please!"

Luke sucked in a breath through his teeth, floored by how much seeing those two men on a woman he considered his affected him. When Seb offered his hand he clung to it, his legs suddenly boneless, nothing holding him up besides that firm grip.

"I cannot leave her, not now." Seb pulled Luke close, running his fingers through his wet hair, over his eyes and down his cheek as though memorizing his face through touch. He framed Luke's jaw with his hand, lips close enough for a kiss. "But we will speak later?"

"Yes, but . . . can I touch her?" Luke needed to feel them both, but he was afraid to say the wrong thing. Afraid Seb would think he was taking advantage of Jami being too spaced out to slap him and tell him to fuck off. "I just need her to know I'm not going anywhere."

"Yes, semental." Seb brushed a soft, chaste kiss over his lips, pulling away before Luke could move in for more. "I think she needs it as much as you do."

Steadying himself, Luke stepped up to Jami's side. He cupped her face between his hands, leaning down so he filled her vision, so that no matter what she was feeling, she saw only him. He touched his forehead to hers and said the only thing he could think of. "I missed you, boo."

She moaned and pressed her eyes shut. "I want you, Luke. Please . . . ."

Luke shook his head. "Ask me again in the morning—if you haven't decided you hate me again."

 
Jami mumbled something incoherent, twisted her hips, then gasped. Seb gestured Luke to the top of the bench, took his place beside Jami, and tugged hard on the clamps attached to her nipples.

His lips slanted as he prepared to remove them. "Brace yourself, gatita."

As the clamps came off, Jami held her breath. Then screamed. Demyan and Pearce latched onto her thighs, holding them apart as they licked and sucked until she bucked and screamed again. Her whole body trembled with the throes of a violent orgasm which seemed to go on and on. Sweat beaded on her forehead, tears covered her flush cheeks in a light sheen.

When she finally opened her eyes, Luke could tell she had drifted again—to somewhere nice by the look of it. While he was breathing like he'd sprinted twenty times across the long forum rink from just watching, Jami's breaths came slow and even as they did when she slept. He kissed her forehead, then helped Seb sit her up to free her wrists.

Seb lifted her up into his arms, murmuring to her as he carried her up the stairs. Once he reached the top step, he called back. "Wait for me in the library, Luke."

Dismissed, just like that. Luke made a face as he glanced over at the action still going on in the room. Demyan and Pearce, roughly tearing at each other's clothes. Chicklet on a chair with her thighs spread wide, her hand fisted in Laura's hair, her head thrown back as her sub worshiped her cunt with her tongue. On hands and knees, Laura whimpered as Wayne worked his thick cock into her ass.

Holy shit, that man looks like he can go all night.

Rubbing his dick through his jeans, his own ass clenching, Luke sighed and turned towards the stairs. Nothing like showing up late for an orgy that he couldn't take part in. But as he left the scene behind and entered the quiet of the library, his whole reason for being here came back to him.

He could get fucked anytime, by pretty much anyone. He'd done that for years and it never meant a damn thing. Losing Teresa had hurt a bit, but mostly because she'd confirmed all the worst things he'd thought of himself.

Absently tracing the jagged line of the ugly scar that ruined his bottom lip, Luke paced slowly around the room. He couldn't find the book he'd started reading last time on any of the shelves with the Dean Koontz books. Then he found it on the leather armchair in the center of the room. Right where he'd left it. Only there was a bookmark stuck between the pages, in the middle of the book.

Seb had been reading it.

Thinking of their last time in the library, Luke settled into the chair. Seb's words came back to him.
"I know you care what I think, Luke. And I know you are fighting, very hard, not to. When you're done fighting it, let me know."

Luke had reached the same point in the book where Seb had left off when the library door creaked open, hours later. He set the book aside as Seb approached him. Took a deep breath. And looked Seb straight in the eye as he spoke. "I'm done fighting it."

Seb nodded slowly. "Fighting what exactly?"

"Everything. I'm still scared of what will happen if people find out, I wasn't interested in starting a relationship with anyone, and I still can't believe I'm in love with a man, but—"

"In love, semental?" Seb quietly shut the door. "Then you are ready to admit it?"

"Yes, you son-of-a-bitch!" Luke shot out of the chair and closed the distance between them, stabbing his finger into the center of Seb's chest. "I
was
ready, which is what pissed me off so much. Do you know how stupid I felt—how stupid I
still
feel—learning about how you manipulated people? Even Chicklet knew!"

"I used those who used me, Luke. You’ve fucked bunnies who only wanted you for what you represent, and not who you are. What I did was no different. But it was never like that with you or Jami."

It was hard to picture anyone using Seb, but if they had, Luke could
kinda
get him not feeling bad about it. But if he wasn’t ashamed of what he’d done, why hide it? "Why didn’t you say something?"

"Because it never seemed important. I had not planned to fall in love with a young woman whose own desires disturb her, or a man, a teammate, who loved the game more than he ever loved anyone. Including himself."

Got me fucking pegged, don’t you?
“That might have been true once, but it’s not anymore.”

“I know that.” Seb held out his arms in surrender. "Luke, you forced me away from the mind-numbing order I’d created, you make me feel truly alive. You are cocky, and arrogant, and sometimes you drive me mad, but there is such passion in you. Such fierce loyalty . . . and intelligence. You are much smarter than anyone, including yourself, gives you credit for.”

“Okay, I’m flattered, but if I’m so smart, didn’t you think maybe I’d understand why you did what you did with all those other guys?”

 
Seb took a step closer. “It is no excuse, only, when we are together, you both keep me in the moment. I forget the game, forget my past. I should have given more of myself, asked more of you. I was not even aware that your mother was ill until Tim mentioned it. These are things we should share."

Yeah, we should.
There was no excuse for him keeping shit to himself either, but with the playoffs, it had been hard to think about anything else. Hard to put as much into the relationship as he should have. And Seb was just as dedicated as he was. He’d tried to stay away from Luke once because this thing between them was messing with his game.

I asked him not to give up on me.
Guilt snagged inside Luke’s chest, tearing at the last threads of anger.
And then I gave up on him.

"From now on then, okay?" Luke scuffed the sole of his sneaker against the wood floor and shrugged. "All I want is you to trust me as much as you ask me to trust you. You don't have to be perfect, but you've got to be honest." He picked up the book he'd left on the chair and grinned. "Open fucking book, got it?"

"Yes."

"I should stay mad at you a bit longer. See what I can get out of it."

Seb smiled. "Shall I get you a puppy?"

"Hey, stuffed animals are for chicks."

"Not a stuffed animal. A real one." Seb took the book, tossed it to the chair, and slid his hand up the side of Luke's throat. His thumb stroked lightly over Luke's hammering pulse. "I have every intention of asking you to stay."

"Stay?" Luke stared at Seb, not sure he was hearing him right. "You want me to move in with you? You sure? I'm a slob and your place is so nice."

"I believe you can be trained."

Fuck.
For some reason, his dick liked that idea. "I snore."