We all stand.
‘So, what
do
you think he has hidden in there?’ he asks, looking around the table as we take our seats again.
Niall shrugs. ‘I don’t know, but he keeps it well hidden. Paddy says when he goes up there to help him with his satellite
equipment now, it’s always well locked up.’
‘Hmm, Paddy spends far too much time with Eamon when he should be helping me,’ Dermot grumbles. ‘I know he’s doing Eamon a
favour, but there are jobs to be done around the island. All right, all right,’ he says reproachfully when we all simply stare
at him across the table. ‘What do you lot reckon, then – he’s hiding a secret lady friend up there?’
‘What, and he never lets her out?’ I exclaim. ‘I hardly think so, and Eamon must be well into his seventies now. I think secret
dating might be a bit past him.’
‘What about you, Roxi?’ Conor asks, looking intently at Roxi. ‘You’re always up there with Eamon, haven’t you seen anything?’
‘Nah,’ Roxi shrugs, lifting her wineglass. ‘We always sit outside the cottage, or if the weather’s bad Eamon comes down to
my house for our little chats.’ As Roxi takes a sip of her wine, her eyes glint mischievously. ‘It could be Finn McCool’s
treasure he has stashed in there.’
We all stare at her.
‘Eamon knows loads about all these myths and legends, he tells me the stories behind them all the time. It’s really interesting.
Can’t get my daily dose of the soaps over here very
easily, can I, unless I steal Darcy’s computer away from her, so Eamon’s tales fill the
Corrie
and Albert Square-sized gap in my life right now.’
We all laugh and go back to our wine and last spoonfuls of dessert, but Conor still seems keen to know more.
‘Do you really think that might be the case, Roxi?’ he asks, leaning across the table. His blues eyes watch her intently while
he waits for her answer.
Roxi rests her elbows on the tablecloth and meets Conor’s gaze face on. She wrinkles up her nose, ‘No!’ she says grinning.
‘Not really. Goodness knows what he’s really got hidden in there. But he’s happy, and not doing anyone any harm, so what does
it matter? Someone else’s turn now.’
Niall suggests: ‘I’ve never got so drunk I can’t remember getting home’, another one I have to stand for – this game is not
exactly showing me in my best light. But luckily Roxi, Conor and, surprisingly, Dermot stand up too. Dermot is then forced
in to taking the next turn. Hilariously, he comes up with ‘I’ve never wanted a game to end as much as I do right now’. He’s
the only one that stands, thankfully, so the game moves on and I take my turn.
Right
, I think, trying not to catch Dermot’s eye,
now we’ll see if you’re truly being honest tonight.
I take a chance. ‘I’ve never … been married.’
Roxi’s eyes open wide as she remains in her seat. I look around the table as everyone else remains seated too. My eyes rest
on Dermot. He takes a long sip of his red wine while he regards me over the top of his glass. Then, very slowly, he pushes
back his chair and stands up.
A tiny gasp escapes from Caitlin’s mouth.
‘So you’re married, Dermot?’ she asks, trying to keep her voice as steady as she can.
‘Divorced. Three years ago.’ Dermot’s dark eyes continue to watch me while he stands towering above us, awaiting my next move.
‘Oh, I see,’ Caitlin visibly relaxes.
‘Any children?’ I ask bluntly, my eyes not leaving his.
Roxi kicks me under the table.
But Dermot just continues to look intently down at me. ‘Yes, one. A daughter, Megan.’
That explains the photo then … I know I probably should stop there and keep this for another time. But now the truth is out,
I can’t help but dig a bit deeper. I just have to know why he won’t tell me about something as important as a daughter.
‘Does she live with her mother?’ I ask, still watching him for some sort of reaction to all this, a flicker of emotion.
‘Yes.’ Dermot says curtly, pulling up his chair to sit down again.
‘Do you get to see her often?’
Dermot stares hard at me across the table, and finally it’s there, the merest trace of something. But it’s not anger I see
reflected back at me in Dermot’s eyes. It’s sadness. ‘No, I don’t. She lives in the States with my ex, Eileen, and her latest
toy boy. I haven’t seen Megan since she was seven.’
I know instantly I shouldn’t have pushed him so far, as I feel a huge wave of guilt wash over me. Suddenly my dinner feels
too heavy, and the wine feels too strong. I’ve said too much.
‘And how old is she now, Dermot?’ Caitlin asks gently, looking at Dermot with such compassion I feel even worse for questioning
him so fiercely.
‘Eleven.’ Dermot picks up his glass and, realising it’s now empty, grabs the bottle from the table and hastily refills it.
We all sit silently around the table, not knowing what to say. I
really
wish I hadn’t said anything now. I should have asked Dermot about the photo privately when no one else was about. When I
get the chance, I’ll apologise to him properly.
‘Look, do you mind if we don’t talk about this any more?’ Dermot asks, still taking large sips from his wineglass. ‘It’s something
I prefer not to talk about.’
‘No, of course not,’ I say hurriedly. I look desperately around at the others. ‘So, who’s going next? Caitlin, you’ve not
had a turn.’
‘Oh … oh, right. Erm, yes, now what was I going to say?’ Caitlin looks flustered for a moment, then blushes profusely. ‘Oh,
yes, that’s it.’ She glances nervously around the table. ‘I’ve never found anyone on this island attractive.’
Conor and I immediately stand up and exchange knowing smiles over the table. Then, cheeks burning bright red, Caitlin joins
us, followed by Roxi. ‘I suppose I’d better stand,’ she says grudgingly. ‘Darce won’t mind me admitting that I think you’re
gorgeous, Conor, even if you are already taken.’
Conor winks at her.
To my surprise, Dermot suddenly springs to his feet. He glances at Caitlin, who immediately turns away and blushes even more.
Lastly, Niall stands to join the six of us.
‘Yes, even me,’ he says, looking apprehensive as we begin to sit back down again.
‘What’s wrong, Niall?’ I ask, suddenly feeling uneasy as Niall still stands in front of us. He’s fiddling with the corner
of the tablecloth, twisting it round and round in his hands.
‘It’s just that, after we’ve all shared so much tonight, it seems like the right moment to tell you something important.’
He nervously glances around the table again, lifts up a glass and takes a quick sip of the wine. Even Dermot senses this is
not the time to point out it’s his glass Niall’s picked up. ‘The thing is, I’ve not only found someone attractive since I’ve
been here on Tara, but it’s turned into more than that. It’s blossomed into love between the two of us. And that someone is
… ’ he swallows hard and looks around the table one last time, as if he’s searching for our approval before he speaks. ‘That
special someone is … Paddy.’
Now I know about Paddy and Niall, I realise the signs have been there for ages. The fact they always spend so much time together;
the morning I’d gone over to Niall’s cottage early and he’d been very shifty about letting me in; the way Niall always brings
Paddy up in conversation at every opportunity.
After Niall’s revelation at the dinner party, we’d all immediately been very supportive in our own way. Roxi had thrown her
arms around him and hugged him to within an inch of his life. Caitlin had gently sat and talked to him about how he felt and
if he wanted help telling anyone else. Conor and Dermot had found the whole thing a bit more difficult to handle, and had
stood for a few minutes trying to look as manly as possible with their arms folded across their bodies and their legs planted
firmly apart. I’d encouraged Dermot to go and get Niall some of the Irish whiskey I had in my kitchen, given to me by a grateful
holidaymaker. Niall had thrown back the tot of whiskey in one and immediately asked for a refill, which
Dermot obliged him with, but Niall was still shaking when I put my hand on his and spoke to him.
‘Is this the first time you’ve told anyone?’ I ask gently.
Niall nods. ‘Paddy wanted me to tell you all earlier. He never wanted us to keep it a secret. It’s not Paddy’s style, keeping
things hidden. But the thing is, it was all new to me.’ Niall looks at me, his pale blue eyes shining brightly through his
glasses. ‘Not just this type of relationship, but
any
type of relationship.’ He looks at everyone sitting and standing around the table. ‘I didn’t know I was gay when I came to
Tara. Until I met Paddy, I didn’t know who I really was. I’d never felt that I belonged anywhere, not at university, not in
the solicitor’s office. And now that I’m here, for the first time in my life I do belong. I belong here on this island, with
all of you, and most importantly with Paddy. It’s like I needed Tara to show me who I really was.’
I hear the wind suddenly gust up around the outside of the cottage, tapping against the window panes, as if Tara wants to
come into our little gathering and give Niall her own seal of approval. Sitting here watching him talk, it’s as if he’s growing
in stature as we speak. The slight, nervous solicitor I first met in my aunt’s back garden has disappeared, and here in his
place now sits a confident and happy young man.
I reach out my arms and wrap them tightly around him. ‘Niall, I’m so happy for you.’
‘This is all thanks to you, Darcy. Thank you for letting me come here and find myself.’
‘Don’t be daft, Niall.’ I look around at the others in the room as I release myself from his embrace. ‘We’re all in this together.
Living here isn’t just about one individual; it’s about
all of us pulling together and making a community. So it’s Tara you should thank. She’s the one that brings about change for
people.’
As I stand and watch my guests depart that night, I begin to understand what Eamon was hinting at, that night in the pub.
Change is what happens when people come to Tara: some of the changes are there for all to see and comment on, and others are
more subtle, but much more significant.
Roxi walks arm in arm with Niall back to her cottage. Niall then waves confidently to Roxi and back to me, before he happily
departs in the direction of Paddy’s cottage, to share the good news with him.
Being chivalrous for once, Dermot offers to walk Caitlin back to her cottage too. With only a half-moon to light their way,
Caitlin stumbles on the rocky ground, but quickly Dermot reaches out his hand for support. Caitlin willingly takes hold of
it, and they walk slowly back towards her cottage together.
Considering this had been the whole aim of the evening – to get Caitlin and Dermot together – the sight of this second new
couple on Tara doesn’t fill me with anywhere near as much joy as the news of Paddy and Niall had earlier, but I can’t quite
figure out why.
Roxi had said she thought Tara was a magnet for love, and now she’s proving herself to be right, as usual. First there was
Ryan and Siobhan, then Conor and me, Niall and Paddy, and now it seems Dermot and Caitlin are the newest targets for Tara’s
cupid.
I look up into Tara’s faintly moonlit sky. There’s still a funny feeling inside me since I asked Dermot those questions at
the
table earlier, and it doesn’t disappear as I watch his back disappear into the night. It’s an aching feeling; it begins around
my heart and runs right down to my stomach. But it could just be all that rich food and wine we’ve indulged in.
Yes – that would be it. After all, I’ve got Conor waiting for me as I turn back into my cottage, and what else would make
me happier on Tara right now than the thought of spending the rest of the night with him?
After three and a half months, Tara has become like one of the smooth, flat pebbles that I find when I walk the puppies along
the beach, and not like the sharp and jagged rocky cliffs that line her shores. Island life is polished and easygoing: there’s
nothing awkward or out of place. Even the weather is calm and tranquil right now, as we’re treated to a gloriously dry and
sunny July to add to the feelings of peace and serenity that are currently a feature of the island. In fact, everything is
running so smoothly here on Tara that I’m starting to feel suspicious! Finally, things are going right.
We’ve got a constant stream of holidaymakers staying in the cottages, and the visit from the company employees on their bonding
trip was enormously successful. The managing director is even going to recommend us to the other departments in his large
corporation.
And love still continues to blossom here on Tara, too. Niall and Paddy’s relationship is now completely out in the open,
and the two of them look much happier in themselves, both together and as individuals. Dermot and Caitlin seem to be going
from strength to strength, too. Both being private, modest types, they keep themselves very much to themselves, and we are
rarely treated to overt shows of affection from either of them. But they’ve been spotted around the island going for long
walks together, visiting each other’s cottages and, on one occasion, it was excitedly reported on the island telegraph that
they were seen holding hands in O’Connell Street.
Conor and I are still together, but as blissfully happy as I feel when I’m with him, and as content as I am with the way everything
else is going on the island right now, I still have this niggling little doubt that something isn’t right. And that niggle
isn’t helped by the return of the dolphins to the bay once more. As they happily dive in and out of the waves outside my kitchen
window, I know they’re there to warn me of something, but the question is, what? And when will it happen?
‘There’s a boat coming over to the island,’ Ryan shouts, knocking on my door one afternoon. ‘Paddy just spotted it with his
binoculars and said I should come and tell you,’ he pants as I fling open my front door to let him in.
‘What sort of a boat?’ I ask, rushing over to the front window that looks out onto the mainland.