Breaking Josephine (30 page)

“I know how you
feel,” I replied. “After I stole the letter from your desk, I went to the beach
and I read it. I read it over, and over, and over. And all I could think was
what a horrible person Henry Blackstone was, for leading my mother on, for
cheating on his pregnant wife, and then for getting your father to hide his
misdeeds and throw my mother away like garbage. It made me sick.” I paused,
remembering how I felt the night before. “And then I broke into the
Blackstone’s house, and I found his will and that letter. And I read it, and I
finally understood, I understood why my mother ran away and changed her
identity. She didn’t do it to protect me, she did it out of anger, out of rage
at being betrayed, at being lied to. She wrote my father out of my life and
didn’t give me a choice in the matter whatsoever because she let her anger make
her choices. I don’t know why she changed her mind when I was twelve, why she
finally realized I needed to know the truth and know my father, but she didn’t
have the chance to explain. I don’t blame your father for her death, Dex, she
made her own choices, she could have decided to stay in Portland and not drive,
but she didn’t. Unlike last night, she didn’t have a gun pointed to her head, I
did.”

Dex took my hands
again in his and I could feel our connection, feel the way our bodies reacted
to each other coursing through our fingers. We sat in silence for a few
minutes, each thankful for having the other so near, until I gathered up enough
courage to ask what had been on my mind since waking up. “What happened to
Colin?”

Dex inhaled a deep
breath and exhaled slowly, saying, “Apparently I gave him a pretty serious
concussion, and a hairline fracture to his skull. But the blood was mostly all
superficial cuts to his scalp, and he will most likely be okay. He’ll need to
be hospitalized for a week at least, but as long as there is no internal
swelling in his brain, he won’t need surgery.” Dex paused, looking at me again.
“Look, Jo, the police need to talk to you as soon as you are ready. Do you
think you’re ready to talk to them?”

I swallowed and
nodded. “Yes. Thank you Dex. Thank you again.” He started to get up to leave
and I squeezed his hands tighter. “You’ll stay here, right? You’ll stay at the
hospital and wait for me?” I looked at his face, searching for an answer.

“Yes, of course I
will. I’ll do anything you want, anything you need, Jo. Anything at all.” Dex
leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll send the officers in if that’s
okay.”

“Yes, I’m ready,”
I responded. “Wait, Dex?” I said, as he started to walk out the door.

“Yes?”

“This might sound
weird, given the timing,” I said pausing and giving him a small smile, “but I
just remembered Sam has no idea where I am or what is going on. Can you call
him for me and let him know? Tell him I know I’m supposed to work Monday, but I
might not be able to, given the circumstances.”

Dex looked
strangely amused and answered, “Don’t worry about Sam, Jo. I called him while
you were sleeping and explained things. He’s not expecting you back any time
soon. He said to take the summer off and you all could get together when you
have time.”

I looked at Dex
completely confused. “Um, okay. It seems like there’s something you aren’t
telling me.” Just as I was about to grill Dex on what he meant by explaining
things to Sam, a man knocked on the open door.

Dex stepped out of
the way and the man introduced himself as a police detective. I invited him and
his waiting partner into my room and Dex excused himself. After explaining to
me the very serious nature of the situation, they asked me a litany of
questions and I answered as best I could, walking them through the events of
the previous night. Although part of me hated to admit that I broke into the
Blackstone’s beach house, I wasn’t going to lie now, so I admitted I broke in
and that I was searching for papers regarding my identity. Surprisingly, they
seemed to already know about my break-in and informed me Michelle Blackstone, the
owner of the house and William and Colin’s mother, was not interested in
pressing charges. I was relieved and thankful that I wasn’t being charged. The police
also informed me no charges would be brought against Dex and that as soon as I
was discharged, both of us were free to go.

As the detectives
left the room, the attending physician came in, went over my chart, and agreed
to discharge me. After I signed the paperwork and changed back into my running
gear, I sat on the edge of the bed, unsure what to do. As I was about to get up
and wander to the front desk, Dex came in.

“Are you ready to
go?” he asked.

“I am, and I was
beginning to wonder if you were coming back,” I said, smiling.

“Of course I was,
I just needed to square everything away. Where would you like to go? I can take
you home, but you’re welcome to stay with me, if you want to,” he said, as he
eyed the floor and shoved his hands in his jean pockets, looking anxious and
slightly nervous.

I smiled, amused
that Dex Hartley could still get nervous, and a bit proud that I was the source
of it. “How about first you take me home, so I can change and get a few things,
and then we go to Hartley Manor together. I don’t want to be alone, not today,”
I said. I thought about all the things I wanted and needed to say to Dex and
how I didn’t want to put it off any longer.

“That sounds
wonderful. Thank you Jo,” he said, looking relieved as he reached out to take
my hand and lead me out of the hospital to his waiting car.

We drove quietly
to my apartment, each lost in our own thoughts. I thought about Eileen and how
she had given me the perspective about Dex and his past and his suffering that
had enabled me to go to his place and face him, despite his lies. I looked at
Dex and smiled as we pulled up to my apartment.

“You know, there’s
someone here you need to talk to. Someone who misses you and would love to see
you,” I said.

“Really? Who?” Dex
asked, genuinely surprised.

I got out of the
car and waited for Dex to join me. “Come, let’s go say hello,” I said, as I
walked Dex up to the front steps of Eileen’s house. I rang the doorbell and
waited for Eileen to answer. The curtains in the window fluttered and then I
heard the door unlock. Eileen pulled the door open and smiled.

“Hello, Jo. It’s
lovely to see you this Sunday afternoon. How are you my dear, and who have you
brought to see me?” Eileen smiled and looked up at Dex, not recognizing him
after ten years. I smiled too and nudged Dex in the ribs. He got the hint and
looked at Eileen.

“Hello, Eileen. It’s
me Dex, Dex Hartley. It’s been a long time. How are you?”

“Oh, Dex, my
dear,” Eileen said, her face lighting up. “Look at you all grown up, I didn’t
even recognize you. My it’s been what, ten years since I’ve seen you? What a
handsome young man you’ve turned out to be. Here, come in and have some iced
tea.”

Eileen opened the
door and invited us in, walking us to the kitchen table. We sat down as she
poured us each a glass. “So what brings you two here today?” Eileen asked,
sipping her tea.

I let out a breath
and looked at Dex, reaching for his hand under the kitchen table. “Well,” I
began, “let’s just say Dex saved me from quite a headache yesterday, and I
thought I should bring him by and let the two of you catch up,” I said, looking
over at Dex and squeezing his hand.

“Well, that’s
wonderful my dear,” Eileen replied. “It’s certainly good to see the two of you
together. You put her through quite a bit these last few weeks, Mr. Hartley, I
hope you know that,” Eileen said, looking at Dex.

He hung his head a
bit and stared at the kitchen table, turning his glass of iced tea around with
his free hand. “I know, Miss Eileen, I know. And I will be forever sorry for my
actions and only hope Jo finds it in her heart to forgive me.”

Dex gave my hand a
squeeze under the table and I smiled, turning to Eileen. “I thought a lot about
what you said the last time we talked Eileen, and I’m taking it to heart. And
if it weren’t for Dex, I don’t know if I’d be sitting here with you today. So,”
I said, standing up and pulling away from Dex, “I’m going to leave the two of
you here while I go downstairs to take a shower and change. Dex, I’ll come back
upstairs in a bit, okay?” I said, looking at him, my eyebrows raised in a
question.

“Of course. You
don’t mind if I stay up here, then?” he asked me, scanning my face for any sign
of hesitation.

I smiled and
answered, “No, not at all. Please, stay and chat. Thank you for the iced tea,
Eileen. I’ll be back soon.”

“No problem my
dear,” Eileen said, turning to Dex. “Now, Dex, tell me all about your life
these last ten years. How have you been and what have you been doing?”

I laughed to
myself as I walked out of Eileen’s and down the front steps before hearing
Dex’s answer. Unlocking the door to my apartment, I let myself in and looked
about. Everything looked the same as I left it Saturday, still spotlessly clean
and empty. I went into the bathroom and took a long, hot shower, letting the
water run over me until it started to turn cold. I toweled off and blew my
short hair dry, curling the ends with a large, round brush. I put on mascara
and a simple white tank dress. Then I grabbed my overnight bag and packed a few
changes of clothes, shoes, and my toiletries. I stood in my bedroom thinking
over my packing when I remembered what I’d missed.

I knelt down in
front of my bedside table and opened up the top drawer. I pulled out my
mother’s pearls and put them on. Then I opened the bottom drawer and pulled out
a shoe box. Inside were the pens, letter opener, and silver box I’d stolen from
Dex all those nights ago. I put Dex’s things into my bag and walked back to the
bathroom to look in the mirror. With my short, blonde hair I didn’t look
exactly like my mother, but I looked at the pearls around my neck and smiled,
thinking of her.

“I’m not going to
let my emotions get the better of me, mom. I’m going to stay in control and
remember what I lost all those years ago and what I could have now with Dex. I
love him, mom. I love him and I want to stay here, in Cannon Beach with him, no
matter what happens next.” I smiled at my reflection and turned out the light,
grabbing my bags and walking back up to Eileen’s house. I opened the door
without knocking and set my bags just inside. I walked toward the kitchen, but
stopped when I heard Dex talking and listened.

“… do you really
think she will give me another chance? After all I’ve done, and what my father
did?” Dex asked Eileen.

“If she loves you,
which I think she does, very much, then yes, I think she will. Just be honest
with her. Don’t rush her and she’ll come to you in her own time,” I heard
Eileen say.

“I hope so,” Dex
said. “I love her, Eileen. I love her more than I’ve loved anyone in my entire
life. When I met her, I saw what life could really be like, that I actually was
capable of feeling alive, and feeling love as an adult. And when thought I’d
lost her, I didn’t know what to do, I felt like I had a giant gaping hole that
no one and nothing except Jo could ever fill. I don’t want to lose her again, I
don’t think I’d survive.”

“Well, just be
yourself Declan,” Eileen said. “You were a wonderful child and you appear to be
a wonderful man. Just be true to who you’ve always been and she’ll see what I
see in you. That’s all you can do.”

I smiled and walked
into the kitchen. “So, how have the two of your been getting along? Has Dex
filled you in on his life for the past decade?”

Dex looked at me
and saw the pearls around my neck. He smiled, his icy blue eyes alive with hope
and longing, and stood up from the table.

“Oh, yes,” Eileen
said, “apparently Dex has been quite busy. You should let him tell you all
about it one of these days my dear.”

Turning to Dex, I
raised an eyebrow, curious about what I’d missed, but then turned back to
Eileen. “I think I will, thank you,” I said. “Oh, and Eileen,” I continued, “it’s
Josephine, actually. I switched to Jo when my mother died. I just couldn’t
handle any reminders of the past and my loss back then. But I feel like after
all that’s happened these last few weeks, I’m ready to be Josephine again. And
I just I found out I was named after my grandmother who died before I was born.
I’d like to think my mother named me after her for a reason.”

“Well, Josephine
it is,” Eileen said, smiling. “That’s a lovely name. And thank you for bringing
Declan back to me after all this time. You know,” she continued, smiling first
at me and then at Dex, “you’re on a month-to-month lease this year, so if you
ever feel like you need to move on, you just let me know and we’ll work
something out. Alright my dear?”

I blushed and
looked down at the table. “Okay Eileen. Thank you, and thank you again for
being such a wonderful landlady and nanny to Dex when he was a child. I can see
how close the two of you must have been.”

 “Yes,” Dex
chimed in, “thank you Miss Eileen for the tea. I am sorry I’ve not been to
visit you. I promise I won’t stay away so long next time.”

“Thank you Dex,”
Eileen said, getting up from the table and walking us to the door. Dex took my
hand and waived goodbye to Eileen as we walked out the door. We walked down the
stairs to his waiting car, holding hands, both of us hopeful about the future.