Breaking Noah (12 page)

I figured I’d have a few days to put something into play, but when Noah grabbed my hand, pulled me into his car, and took off for campus, I should have known. The ride to school was quiet, my heart racing as fast as his tires across the pavement. The moment we hit the parking lot, it was like a sprint to the finish line.

His classroom is only a few doors into the building. As soon as we are inside, he sits me on the edge of his desk, coils his fingers inside the waistband of my pants. With his eyes, he tells me to raise my hips, which I do without a second thought. He rips the leggings down, leaving my skirt in place, and tosses them on the floor. With a growl, he steps forward, pushing himself against me.

“Oh, God,” I gasp, his fingers gliding over the curve of my back as he pushes me onto his desk. The warmth of his hands against my bare skin is sending shivers down my spine. He cups my breast through my shirt as his tongue slides over my neck.

“Take it off,” he whispers, tugging at my T-shirt. I slip it over my head and discard it on the floor as he reaches around my back and unclasps my bra, that, too, joining the fast-growing heap of clothing in front of his desk.

Nudging my legs apart, he stands between them, grabbing my hips and pulling me flush against him. I can feel his erection against my thigh as I unbuckle his jeans and fumble with his zipper.

“Fuck,” he curses.

His head tilts back as my hand closes around his shaft; he groans as I slide my grip up and down his length. I hate admitting it, but I’m so fucking aroused right now. Sex with Dillon is
nothing
like this.

He pushes me back onto the desk and forces my legs farther apart. My skirt rides up my thighs as his fingers loop around the band of my lace thong. I groan as he slides it over my hips.

I’m expecting us to repeat the scene from the night before, but he kisses his way down my chest and stomach, stopping only when he reaches my pelvis. Situating himself on his knees, he stares at my pussy for a few moments before his eyes travel back up my naked body to meet my gaze. His lips turn up in a seductive smirk just before he buries his face between my thighs.

When his tongue hits my core for the first time, it’s like a bolt of lightning travels through my body. My back arches, my thighs try to clench together, and all my nerve endings start humming with pleasure. I raise my legs, planting my feet firmly on the edge of the desk, baring myself to Noah…begging for him to continue. He obliges, giving me everything I didn’t know I wanted, everything I needed.

I’ve participated in this kind of activity before, but nothing has ever felt this wonderful. Dillon is always so quick to get to sex, he often forgets the simple pleasure of foreplay. Noah doesn’t.

Holding myself up with my elbows, I watch him intently. With his mouth covering my core, he inserts a finger inside of me and the other hand palms his cock, stroking in time with the laps of his tongue. I try to hold back and enjoy every second of this, but my body has other plans. When he curls his finger upward, my release crashes over me, holding me under until I can barely catch my breath.

After he removes himself from my body, I fall backward in a daze. I’ve never experienced anything like that and I’m not sure I ever will again. I just want to relish this moment, but Noah has other plans.

“Stand up,” he orders. I slide my ass off the desk. He maneuvers me so he is leaning against the desk and I’m in front of him. “On your knees,” he whispers. There is a roughness to his voice that I’ve never heard until now. “You want me to treat you like a whore, then that’s what I’ll do.”

I narrow my eyes but retreat to my knees, taking his cock in my hands. I rub it between my breasts and he groans, his body tensing.

“Do you want me to suck your cock, Mr. Bain?” I ask innocently.

“God, just do it,” he groans.

He is clutching the edge of his desk so tight his knuckles are turning white. I roll my tongue around the tip of his head, which nearly sends him over the edge. I smile as his hands lace through my hair, forming a fist as he forces more of himself inside me.

It’s like the guy has never had his cock sucked before, and I’m beginning to think it’s something he doesn’t get regularly at home—which is funny, because I heard that she had no trouble giving it to the whole football team when she went here. The crazy things you’ll hear when you make friends with the teaching assistants. You not only get dirt on the guy you’re trying to seduce, but his girlfriend and friends, too.

“Harder,” he groans, forcing his cock down my throat. I pull away and he looks down at me, shocked that I stopped. “What?”

“Look at me,” I say, grinning, my tongue running up the side of his length. “I want you to see me when you come.” I slowly move my lips up his length, taking more and more of him in. His eyes are glued to mine and I fucking love the control I have over him right now. Taking his hand, I place it on the back of my head. He takes the hint and fists my hair, jerking me toward him.

Pain sears through my head as I struggle not to gag, but it’s worth it to be able to see him, to watch him as he’s about to explode in my mouth.

Do I let him? I’m feeling nice today.

“Oh, fuck, yeah,” he gasps, as his warm liquid coats the back of my throat. I swallow quickly and continue to suck. His back arches as he releases again, this time his eyes closing. “God, stop,” he begs, trying to push me away. I stand up and wipe my mouth, grinning, as he rests with one hand on the desk, the other hanging loosely beside him. He’s still exposed, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. He looks well and truly fucked.

Situating my skirt, I pick up my bra and panties, stuffing them into my purse, and slide my shirt over my head. I toss the leggings in my purse along with everything else, letting him know I’ll be bare for him on the ride back. I follow his gaze to my nipples, which are very obviously hard through the thin, white cotton material, and smirk at him. He flushes and looks away.

Looping my hand around my hair, I fling it out from inside my shirt and strut over to the door. I’m already
so
late for work, but it was worth it for this. There’s no going back now, and I think we both know it.

With my hand on the door, I smirk and turn back to him.

“You might want to lock this next time, Mr. B.”

How could I be so fucking stupid? Not locking the door? Christ, I don’t even know what to say anymore. I’ve completely lost my mind. Let’s not even talk about what I just did with Zara. And not just any old regular sexual experience…the best damn head of my entire life.

Just now, the thought of Shannon enters my mind, but she’s quickly dismissed. I know exactly what I have to do. She deserves more than what I’m able to give her.

Before I go home, I run to the bathroom across the hall from my classroom to clean myself up a little. It would be even more fucked up of me to walk in the apartment smelling of sex. I’ve already made a mess of the situation, I don’t need to twist the knife while I’m at it.

After I’m clean enough to be presentable, I walk to my car, only to find Zara sitting on the hood, waiting for me. I can’t help but be happy she waited instead of calling for a ride, but I think we both need a little distance. Things have got really intense and we’ve yet to discuss where we go from here. I’m not even sure if I want them to go past this. When I end it with Shannon, I think I need to be alone for a while. It’s been so long since I was single, the thought is exciting.

“I suppose you need a ride back to the diner?” I ask, clicking the button on the keypad to unlock the doors.

“And probably a note or something so I don’t get fired. That might be helpful as well.” We open our doors at the same time, sit in our respective seats, and don’t speak anymore until I’ve pulled off the campus property.

“Can I have the ring back now that I’ve given you what you want?”

“You can have the ring back, but I’m not done with you. That was the best head I’ve ever had and I’m already wanting more.” She slides the ring from her finger and hands it back to me. Waiting at a red light, I stare at the diamond and feel a slight amount of glee. Had this not happened the way it did, I would have proposed to Shannon and lived my life miserably for the rest of my days on earth. That’s really no way to live. Certainly, it’s not healthy.

“Thanks. If you need me to speak to your boss, I will. You just tell me what you want me to say.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine. If not, I really didn’t like that job, anyway. I’m sure I could find another if I needed to. But back to that ring. Are you still going to ask her?” Zara questions, a hint of sadness creeping across her gorgeous face.

“I don’t think so. I need you to know, Zara, that was just…I don’t know what it was, but it wasn’t anything more than that. I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings, but I don’t want you to think there’s anything more I can offer you.” I’m shocked when she starts cackling—snorting and all.

“Noah, you’re so fucking adorable. When did I say I wanted anything more than your dick? I’ll get all I want from you, and that pretty ring I just gave back isn’t going to be it.” I’m not sure why I feel a little let down by her response, but on the other side of the coin, I’m relieved. Whatever our relationship status is, it’s already complicated enough without adding feelings into it.

The rest of the ten-minute ride is filled with small talk—conversation you’d hear between friends and nothing more. Even when I drop her off at the diner, she doesn’t try to kiss me or anything. I almost leaned across the seat, but decided it was best to not draw any attention to us. Apparently, she agreed.

When I pull into the parking lot of my apartment, Shannon’s car is sitting in its usual spot. Slowly, I walk into the building, fearing her reaction to what I’m going to tell her. I didn’t have much time to rehearse, and I’ve never broken up with someone before, but I think I’ll do well.

I open the front door and she’s sitting in the corner of the couch, petting Gio and watching some fashion show on the TV. “Hey,” she says, not looking in my direction or attempting to get off the sofa.

“Hey,” I respond. I know I need to just get this over with. If I don’t, it’s only going to eat at me until I snap and tell her more than she needs to know. I’ve never been a cheater, and I feel terrible that one small act has changed the person I’ve prided myself to be; but someone who stays in a relationship that he’s not happy in is just as bad, if not worse. “We need to talk.”

At that, she mutes the TV, pushes Gio off her lap, and sits up straight on the couch. Taking a breath, she looks me in my eye. God, this would be so much easier if she would have chosen Clay and not me. This would never have happened to her.
Fuck, I’m such an ass.

“Is everything okay?” she asks, with fear in her eyes.

“Not really. No.” She moves to stand, but I stop her. “I think you should just stay sitting. It might be better.”

“You’re scaring me, Noah. What’s wrong?” Tears already threaten to spill.
You can do this, Noah. Like a Band-Aid. Quick and direct.

“I think you already know what I’m about to say, Shannon. Things just haven’t been the same for about a year. It’s not your fault, or mine. They’ve just changed.”

Shannon stops me in the beginning of my speech, and I wish she wouldn’t have. I need to remain focused and not break for anything. I figured she was going to cry, argue, all of that, but I still need to do it.

“You know,” she whispers, when she doesn’t allow me to continue. And there goes my concentration right out the window. She thinks she’s done this. I think about sitting next to her—trying to comfort her—but something holds me back and lets her continue. I don’t say anything, just raise an eyebrow in speculation.

“He said he wouldn’t tell you. I’m so sorry, Noah. Please forgive me. It was supposed to be just that one time, but then it wasn’t anymore. Please. Please don’t hate me,” she cries, rushing to my side and wrapping her arms around my waist. Her tears fall quickly and wet my shirt. I put my hands on her shoulders and try to push her away, but she clings tighter, burying her face in my chest. She mumbles against me a few more times how sorry she is until I finally break free.

“What are you talking about?” She looks up at me through matted-mascara lashes, eyes as wide as saucers.

“He didn’t tell you?” she gasps.

“Who are you talking about? Tell me, Shannon,” I say, my voice laced with anger.

Stepping away from me, Shannon hugs herself around her middle, looking like she’s about to vomit. “Shit,” she mutters, shaking her head. “Noah?” she whispers, trying to move back to me, but I stop her before she can get her claws in me again.

“Tell. Me!” I scream.

“Jake.”

“What about him?”

She sobs uncontrollably, hiccups wracking her body, as she tries to calm down and tell me what the fuck she’s going on about, even though I already have a pretty good idea. All the pieces are clicking into place. I should have fucking known.

When she has her breathing under control, she walks into the kitchen and I follow close behind. When she grabs a bottle of wine from the rack and a glass from the cupboard, she pours an extremely large amount and sits at the dining room table, motioning for me to sit across from her. She tries to pass me the bottle, but I don’t accept. I need to know, straight from her mouth, what happened between her and Jake.

“After your student died and you checked out, do you remember when Jake came up to visit?” I nod.

“Well, you sat on the couch and drank yourself stupid for a few days while he was here. We both tried to be there for you. We didn’t understand, but because we loved you, we wanted to help. You wouldn’t accept it.” She looks off into the distance, as if she’s recalling the memory detail for detail. I motion with my hand for her to continue, not trusting my voice not to break. I’ve known Jake since high school, like the rest of the guys….I was even the best man in his wedding.

“I’ll cut to the point. Jake and I went out one night, got pretty trashed ourselves, and hooked up in his car. It was stupid and a terrible judgment call. We both decided that it would never happen again and we’d spare you…not tell you, you know? It was just so damn dumb.”

“You said it was just supposed to be one time, but then it wasn’t. Continue, Shannon. Tell me everything. I’m not in a mood to deal with bullshit, half-assed stories.”

She swallows hard, drops her head, and when she raises it I can see the guilt rolling off her in waves. “Jennifer asked me to come down for the day to do some shopping, but when I got there she wasn’t feeling well. Instead of driving all the way back, I went ahead with my trip. Only I ran into Jake at a restaurant by the lake. We got to talking, had a few drinks. I decided to stay in a hotel so I wouldn’t get sick, so he drove me to the Hilton. He carried my bags up when I checked in, and, well…one thing led to another and we ended up in bed again.”

I put my hand up to stop her. “You mean to tell me you fucked your best friend’s husband while she was at home, sick in bed? That’s really fucking low, Shannon.”

“I know. You don’t have to tell me how to feel bad for my decisions. I’ve been feeling them for the last year.”

“Were you the girl Jennifer caught Jake with?”

“Yes,” she whispers. “I met Jake a few months ago at his office. Things happened and I had lost my earrings. Jennifer was the one to find them in his pocket. I guess he put them there so they wouldn’t get lost and forgot about it.”

“You helped her deal with her cheating husband and you were the other woman? God, Shannon, when did you become so fucked up?”

“I fell in love with him, Noah. I didn’t mean to, but I did. My trips to Chicago as of late weren’t for shopping, they were to spend time with him. He got a condo and I’m moving in with him. I wanted to wait until after the holidays to tell you, but I thought when you wanted to talk, it was about this.”

I laugh. I can’t think of anything else to do but fucking laugh. This is fucking perfect. Here I was thinking I was the most terrible person in the world for having a onetime sexual encounter with a student, and all the while she’s having a full-fledged affair behind my back…with one of my best friends at that. Someone who was a part of both of our lives. Jake was one of my closest friends. I’m starting to wonder if Shannon and I deserve each other—both of us doing something terrible with people we shouldn’t be doing it with.

“What were you going to say before I tattled on myself?”

“Nothing that matters now. There’s really no need for you to wait until after the holidays, though. You probably should leave sooner rather than later.” She nods in understanding.

“I really did love you, Noah. You just changed. You’re not the same person I fell for. I don’t know what that student meant to you, maybe more than I should know, but it must have been a lot for you to totally lose it. I’m just sorry we’re ending like this.”

“It was going to happen one way or another, Shannon. Don’t beat yourself up about it. I hope you find your happiness with Jake.” And it’s not a lie. I was so worried about hurting her by breaking up with her, I feel totally relieved now. At least she won’t be alone, crying over me. She’ll have someone who she loves and who loves her.

Shannon retreats to the bedroom. I can hear her rummaging around, and I assume she’s throwing some stuff in a bag. After a few minutes, she returns, dragging her rolling suitcase and an overnight bag slung over her shoulder.

“I’ll be back next week for the rest of my stuff. I’m just going to leave all the furniture. It’s not fair for me to mess up everything you have going on because I was selfish. I hope that one day you’ll forgive me.” She scratches behind Gio’s ear, not making eye contact with me. I feel like I should just let her off the hook now. It only seems right, since I’m not innocent in this whatsoever. I’ve done my fair share of screwing up.

“You’re already forgiven. Just be happy. With whomever. If it’s Jake or someone else, just make yourself happy. Always.”

“You should probably take your own advice,” she says, smiling weakly at me as she walks out the door.

Sitting on the couch next to Gio, I pull my phone from my pocket to see a text from Zara.

Zara:
What are you doing tonight?

Being single seems like a really good idea in theory, but when you’re sitting alone in your oversized apartment, petting a cat, it’s not so great. Even though I’ve been alone for only a minute or two, the thought of
being
alone is enough to break even the strongest of wills.

Me:
Inviting you over for dinner and a movie if you’re interested.

Zara:
I like the way you think, Mr. Bain. I’ll see you in an hour.

Remembering my plans with Derrick, I text him, letting him know we have to reschedule. It appears I have dinner plans.
What the hell am I doing?