Breaking Noah (21 page)

“I’m going to write. It’s what I want to do anyway, so why not?”

“What about a job? How are you going to live?” Panic is evident in my voice, and he kisses my forehead, pulls me to his chest, and slowly rubs circles on my back.

“I’ve got some money put away for a rainy day. Don’t worry about it. Worst case, I go back to teaching in a year or so, but for now, I just want to be with you and write my novel.”

“Sounds fantastic.”

“It really does. Now get over here, stop feeling guilty, and give your man a kiss.”

My man. Finally. After all this time. He’s mine. I can do what I want with him without having mixed emotions. I’m finally allowed to just love him. And accept his love.

T
HREE YEARS LATER

“Did it come?” Zara yells from the bathroom, just getting out of the shower. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to living with her; the woman is full of surprises. Not only was our wedding a quick trip to Vegas—her choice, of course—she’s applied to law school at Northwestern so she can stay close to home…to me.

I flip through the mail and come across a letter from the university. I test its weight, and it’s fairly heavy. “Something’s here. Want me to open it?”

Zara comes running, dressed only in a towel, and snatches the letter from my hand. Clutching it to her chest, she sits on the couch, the towel riding a little high, and sighs.

“This is it. It has to be,” she whispers.

“Well…”

“I can’t do it. You have to. Here,” she says, thrusting the letter back to me. Sitting down next to her, I pull her feet onto my lap and she lays back against the sofa, covering her eyes with an arm. I could sit here all day and look at her like this: hair sopping wet, wearing only a towel that’s short enough for me to stare at her beauty.

“Okay. Here it goes.” I rip apart the envelope and pull out the single sheet of paper on top of a thick folder. “Are you ready?” I ask. I’m sure I’m as nervous as she is right about now.

“Just tell me. Yes or no. Don’t be a dick, Noah,” she stresses, exasperated.

“All right,” I singsong. “Dear Mrs. Hamilton-Bain. It’s our pleasure to advise you of your acceptance into the Northwestern University School of Law….” I would continue reading, but she’s already leaped out of my lap, leaving the towel far behind, and dances across the living room.

“I knew it. I just knew I aced that interview!” she yells, pumping her fist in the air.

“Zara. Your towel.” She glances down, noticing she’s stark naked, and her entire body flushes.

“Shit. I’ll be right back.”

She runs into the bedroom and comes out a few minutes later dressed in an oversized T-shirt and yoga shorts. “I did it.” She smiles, her eyes full of happiness.

“I married the perfect girl and she’s just been accepted to the school of her choice. How could life get any better?” I pick her up, swinging her in my arms. Zara wraps her hands around my neck and pulls me in for a passionate kiss.

“I know how,” she teases, nibbling at my bottom lip.

“Is that how you feel, wife?”

“It is, but that’s not really what I was getting at.” Zara laughs, jumping out of my arms and retrieving her laptop from the bedroom. She turns the screen to face me, and my heart about leaps out of my chest.

“Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

Reading the words written on the screen, my eyes fill with unshed tears. “Really?”

“You did it. Three books later and you finally did it. Today is a day all our dreams come true.” Zara kisses the scruff that’s built up on my chin and takes a seat on the couch.

“I married the man of my dreams and he just happens to be listed on the
New York Times
Best Sellers list. How could life get any better?”

“It can’t. It’s not possible. Well, at least until you decide it’s time to have babies.”

She blushes and hides behind her hair. “Well, about that.”

From behind her back, she pulls a thin white stick and hands it to me. “Looks like we’re living the dream, baby.”

To our children. Born and unborn. Tiny humans or fur babies. Without you, there’s no purpose. Thank you for being you and loving us unconditionally.

First and foremost, we’d like to thank our amazing husbands for their tireless efforts in keeping us happy long enough to tell a story; our fantastic agents, Marisa Corvisiero and Brittany Booker, for helping us through the fine details and being our cheerleaders; our Loveswept editor, Sue Grimshaw, because without her this book wouldn’t be here today; and the rest of our Random House team, who put in so much effort to make sure this book was as beautiful as it could be.

We’d also like to thank our small group of cupcakes that was assembled when this book was just an idea in our heads, our own respective street teams, each and every reader who’s taken a chance on this novel, and, finally, all of the wonderful blogs that promote writers and books for no other reason than the desire to share the love of fiction. —Missy

You, my sweet little Aussie, saved me more than you’ll ever know. Thank you for your friendship, your talent, your honest opinions, and letting me be a part of this project with you. The world is a better place with you in it. I can’t wait to squeeze that baby.

Us against the world. —Ashley

Breaking Noah

Devil’s Pride

M
ISSY
J
OHNSON
is a
New York Times
and
USA Today
bestselling author who lives in a small town in Victoria, Australia, with her husband and her confused pets (a dog who thinks that she is a cat, a cat who thinks he is a dog…you get the picture). When she’s not writing, she can usually be found looking for something to read.

www.missycjohnson.com

Facebook.com/MissycJohnson

@MissycJohnson

A
SHLEY
S
UZANNE
has been writing for as long as she can remember. As a youngster, she was always creating stories and talking to her imaginary friends. Thankfully, her parents also carried this love of fiction, and helped her grow into the bestselling author she is today. When Suzanne isn’t coming up with her next story, you’ll most likely find her on the couch, telling her husband all about her new book boyfriend, or spending quality time with her two gremlins…er, adorable children.

www.booksbyashleysuzanne.com

Facebook.com/AshleySuzanneBooks

@ItsAshleyYo

ashleysuzanneauthor.blogspot.com

May flowers are abloom and so are our fabulous Loveswept romances—beautiful covers and stories to fill your eReaders to the brim!

New this month is
New York Times
bestselling author Tracy Wolff’s next Ethan Frost installment,
Exposed
—the more time I can spend with Chloe and Ethan the more “happy-happy-happy” I am
.
Next up is a new storyteller we’ve added to our list, Gina Gordon, and her risqué love affair,
Rush,
where a bad boy shows a straitlaced law student how to slow down and savor the good things. And what happens when you start falling for your worst enemy?
New York Times
bestselling author Missy Johnson and debut author Ashley Suzanne tell you all about it in
Breaking Noah.
The final installment of The Devil’s Den dancers by Violetta Rand also comes out this month, so look for
Sin
. The third book in Cecy Robson’s Shattered Past series
Once Pure,
will be on sale as well, where true love lands a knockout punch
.

Western contemporary fans will be thrilled to know
USA Today
bestselling author Tina Leonard’s
Last of the Red-Hot Riders
will be available, featuring the toughest rodeo rider in Hell, Texas.

And, PNR fans, never fear—
Witches Be Burned,
a Magic & Mayhem novel releases from
USA Today
bestselling author Stacey Kennedy, where a rookie guardian sworn to combat the undead risks life and love in a world of violence, witchcraft, and seduction.

New Adult audiences will enjoy Amber Hart’s
Captured by You,
the sequel to
Until You Find Me,
in which Raven and Jospin must fight for each other in a world where love is never safe—and power is deadly.

Meet new friends this month with Loveswept books—stories that invite you on fabulous journeys with some pretty amazing characters. Who knows, you may find a new book boyfriend, too!

Until next month ~Happy Romance!

Gina Wachtel

Associate Publisher

by Missy Johnson and Ashley Suzanne

Available from Loveswept

“My. Mother. Told. Me. To. Pick. The. Very. Best. One. And. You. Are. Not. It,” I whisper, going back and forth between two dresses. They’re both so beautiful, but only one will be perfect. I just don’t know which one.

“Annie, come on, honey. Ryder will be here any minute,” my mother yells up the stairs.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

Picking up my phone, and still undecided on the dress, I call my best friend, Sommer. She’ll know exactly what to do. The second she answers, I don’t waste time with pleasantries.

“Blue or gray?” I ask.

“Are we talking about the dresses again? Just pick one already. You look great in both.”

“I wouldn’t have bought them if I didn’t, Sommer. But tonight has to be perfect. I finally got him to ask me on a date. And to homecoming, no less. Please, Sommer, just pick for me. That way if it goes terribly wrong, I have someone else to blame,” I joke.

“Go with the gray. Your eyes look amazing with that color.”

Hanging up and tossing the phone on the bed, I stand in front of the mirror and step into the gray number, the top strapless and the bottom floor length, with a slit to my upper thigh. Spinning in slow, meticulous circles, I look for any imperfections. Anything that will scream out at me that this is the wrong choice. When I can’t find anything, I release the clip on top of my head, letting the chestnut tendrils fall down my back and around my face.

I’m not vain by any means, but I have to say I look amazing. I look like nothing Ryder has ever seen before. He’s used to me hanging out with the guys in ripped jeans and dirty sneakers. When I walk down those stairs, his jaw’s going to drop.

“Come on, Annie.” I faintly hear a knock at the front door and silently thank my mother for the last-minute warning. Taking a few deep breaths, I carry my shoes in my hand, worried that my lack of walking in heels will result in me being rushed to the emergency room instead of going to the dance. That just can’t happen. Not tonight.

At the landing, I grab on to the banister and pray I look as graceful and classy as I feel. A strong hand comes down on my shoulder. Glancing back, I take in the shocked look of my oldest brother, Nik.

“You look gorgeous, Annika. He better not try anything. I swear I’ll kill him.” Gritting his jaw, he tries to peek around the half-wall separating us from the people downstairs.

“Get a grip, Nik. He’s only taking me because you won’t let me date anyone. If you had it your way, I’d be going with you or Marx tonight. Thank God for Ryder.” I try not to think about it, but it’s the truth. In this world, the world that my family and Ryder’s family live in, girls like me have no chance. Instead of having just two protective brothers, I have an entire clan full of them.

The Devils MC is one of the most notorious clubs around. Everyone in town knows not to screw with these guys. It’s never shocked me that boys don’t ask me out like they do the other girls. I don’t get asked for my phone number. I’ve never been felt up under the bleachers. Hell, I’ve kissed only one boy before, and he was new in town and had no idea who my family was. That was my first and last kiss.

I love the family. I love all my uncles. I love everything about it…except that. Being the daughter and sister of a member is both a blessing and a curse. I’ve never felt more loved and safe, but there’s not much I wouldn’t give to have a boy come over to watch a movie and end up messing around under the blanket. Every other sixteen-year-old girl gets to experience it; I just want the same chance.

“You better get down there. He ain’t gonna wait forever.” I turn and squeeze Nik around his middle, and he walks back to his room and I begin my descent.

The moment my eyes connect with Ryder’s my knees get a little shaky. Here’s the secret. Ryder may be only doing my brother and my dad a favor by taking me to this dance, but it’s more than that to me. I’ve loved Ryder since…forever. Growing up, he and my brother were as thick as thieves, always running in the same crowds and hanging out. He was always around. Looking in from the outside, he was just another one of my brothers looking out for me, but if you looked in my heart, you’d see that he’s the only boy I’ve ever loved.

I have no delusion that he could—or would, for that matter—feel anything back for me, but for just this one night I get to pretend. In my head, I know exactly what this is—like I said before, one club brother doing a favor for another—but in my heart, Ryder is taking me on our first date. He’s going to dance with me. Make me laugh. And in my fantasy dream world, he’s going to kiss me good night and maybe even feel me up a little when he does so.

“Lookin’ good, Annie,” Ryder calls, taking a few steps toward me and assisting me down the last few steps.

“You look great, too.” He really does. I didn’t expect a tux or anything, but Ryder is wearing a pair of tight jeans and a black button-up shirt rolled to his elbows, and I can’t imagine him looking any better.

“Let me get a picture, you two. You kids look fantastic. Like royalty.” My mother grabs the camera from her purse and poses us in front of the door. I stand next to Ryder, not too close, but close enough where it looks like we could actually be going on a date. To my surprise, Ryder takes my arm and pulls me closer to him, situating me cocked to the side yet in front of him. He wraps his strong arm around my middle and drags me even closer, so I feel his warmth through his clothes and my dress. Shivering slightly, I brazenly place my hands over his, which are clasped across my stomach.

“Smile,” my mother coaches, and I do. I mean I really do. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have him hold me. I don’t have to dream about it anymore.

Everything about the dance is exactly how I’d pictured it in my head. It’s my junior year, but with the luck I have with boys, or the luck that’s forced on me, I’ve never been to anything like this, making it all the more special that it’s Ryder who is my escort for the evening.

Streamers and balloons flood the vast space of the school gym, lunch tables strategically placed around the outskirts of the room, leaving the center open for a dance floor, and one longer table set up with a few punch bowls and snacks. A few of my friends meet us as soon as we walk in, but I quickly brush them away. I get to spend time with them every day. My alone time with Ryder is much more valuable.

We find a couple open spots at a table and take our seats. The DJ is playing everything from slow songs to ones that make you want to shake your ass, and all the girls do, of course. Ryder keeps surprising me, though. Not once has he paid any attention to the girls seductively grinding together in large groups on the dance floor, all to gain his attention, I’m sure.

At sixteen, most girls go for the bad boy. The older boy. And Ryder just happens to be both. A biker who might be only a few years older than us, but he’s already done with school—the age of a college kid, but he doesn’t go to any university. He’s mostly a townie, hanging around here with his dad and the club.

But with his ruggedly handsome face, nearly shaved head, muscles, and tattoos, he’s every teenage girl’s dream boyfriend. And he’s here with me, making me the most hated girl in the room.

And I’m okay with it. Because I get one night with Ryder.

As the dancing sluts realize that they’re not going to garner Ryder’s attention with their impeccable whore skills, they fade away just as the song they were gyrating to changes to something slower. Staring down at my lap, I try to visualize what it would be like to dance with Ryder. Him and me being so close there’s barely room for air between us, his hands firmly pressed against my lower back and my head gently resting on his chest.

“You wanna dance, Annie?” he asks, catching me off guard. I quickly whip my head up, staring him dead in the eyes, wondering if my imagination is that good and it’s my fantasy getting the better of me. It wouldn’t be the first time it happened, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

“Annie? Dance?” he repeats himself. I nod, a little too eager, but he doesn’t make fun of me, instead smiling his signature grin. He stands first, helping me to my feet, which are crammed into the heels I’m sure I’ll never wear again.

Leading me to the dance floor, it’s like my dream is playing out in front of me. Ryder pulls me close and begins to fluidly move around the room. With my head on his chest, his heartbeat keeping me in time with him, it’s as if nobody else is in the room with us. Only him and me slowing gliding together.

Taking a deep breath, I risk looking up at him, and he seems to be enjoying himself—mouthing the words of the song. He looks peaceful. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him look this…normal. Almost like he’s a kid just like me.

“This is really nice,” I whisper, looking down before he has a chance to see how pink my cheeks get. After a moment or two of no response, I look up through my lashes to see him staring back down at me.

“It really is. These girls are going to hate you tomorrow. I’m sorry.” They already hate me. What could make them hate me more? And why is he apologizing?

Before I can ask him these questions, his hand gently raises my chin and his lips slightly brush over mine in the sweetest kiss. Butterflies dance in my stomach and stars flash behind my partially closed lids. Braver than I’ve ever been in my life, I pull his head back to mine and instigate another brief kiss.

“Your brother’s gonna kill me when he finds out,” he mutters between light pecks. Pulling my body closer to his, I can feel Ryder’s arousal against my stomach.

“We just won’t tell him, then.” It seems logical. Nik knows only what he’s told, and as long as Ryder and I are careful, there’s nothing to tell him.

So that’s what we do for the next two years, until I graduate. We have secret dates that nobody knows about. Nobody has the chance to tell Nik anything, and he’s none the wiser.

The night of my graduation was the last night I was a virgin. Giving a part of myself to Ryder that will forever be his. A part of my soul. I’d loved him as far back as I could remember, and that night we spent together had solidified all of those feelings I’d had, and I’d thought he’d shared them, too.

But I was wrong. Really wrong. Had I waited another day or even two, I might still have that piece of me that I willingly gave to him. I’d be able to give it to someone who deserved it.

But that’s what love does, especially when you’re blinded by it.

Ryder wasn’t Ryder anymore. Ryder died a while ago, leaving Ace in his place. And all Ace was good for was a roll in the sheets and maybe a ride on his bike.