In the middle of it all, Natalie started her period, the knowledge that she wasn’t pregnant leaving her deeply disappointed. One week became two. Two weeks became three, and still her spirits didn’t lift. It was then she realized she needed some
real
time off—no SPJ seminar this time, but a bona fide vacation. She called Zach, told him her plans, then bought a plane ticket to New Orleans.
There was something she needed to do.
ZACH OPENED THE cemetery’s elegant iron gate and walked through the rows of marble tombs, feeling a hitch in his chest when he spotted her. He stopped in his tracks and just watched her. It had been three weeks since he’d last seen her, and damned if she hadn’t become even more beautiful.
You are so lost, McBride.
Yeah, he was completely and utterly lost—in her. And he loved it.
He hadn’t been exaggerating when he told her in the hospital that she’d set him free. She’d seen him at his best and his worst, and she’d accepted all of him without question or condemnation. And when he’d broken, the guilt he’d carried with him for so long spilling out, she’d been there to put the pieces of him back together again. She was his absolution, his redemption, his salvation.
She had changed him. The man who’d told her not long ago that he didn’t want to be a father had been surprised by how disappointed he’d felt when she’d told him that she wasn’t pregnant. It had taken a few days for him to decide that it was probably for the best. It would give them some time just to be with each other. Natalie was only twenty-seven. They had plenty of time left to start a family.
He walked toward her, savoring the sight of her. She didn’t know he was here in New Orleans. When she’d told him her plans, he’d known he wanted to see the city with her, to hear her stories, to get a glimpse of what her life had been. So he’d told Pearce he was done, and he’d hopped on the next plane. When he hadn’t found her at her hotel, he’d known he’d find her here. Hadn’t he just visited Arlington two days ago to check in on Mike, Chris, Brian, and Jimmy?
Wearing a sleeveless dress of dark blue, she sat on the retaining wall in front of the tomb where her parents and Beau rested together. Three fresh bouquets of red roses lay propped against the marble. And she was saying something . . .
Go wait on a bench, and leave her in peace, McBride.
He was about to walk away and find somewhere to park his ass, when he realized she was crying. He moved closer.
“I know you’d both love him. He saved my life. Did I mention he’s a Medal of Honor recipient? And, Mama, he’s so handsome. I wish with all my heart the two of you could’ve met him.”
Zach realized she was talking to her parents about
him
. Something warm stirred in his chest. And no matter how wrong it was for him to stand there listening to her private conversation, nothing could drag him away now.
She reached out and ran her fingers over the name “Beauregard Latour,” her voice quavering as she spoke. “I love you, Beau. You were everything to me, and I will always treasure my memories of our days together. But I can’t live on grief. I know that’s not what you’d want for me anyway. I never thought I’d fall in love again, but I love him so much. Wherever you are now, I hope you can be happy for me.”
Zach felt an ache behind his breastbone—for her, for Beau, for lives needlessly lost. But the past was gone. “Natalie?”
At the sound of her name, Natalie looked—and saw Zach standing not ten feet away. Her pulse tripped, joy surging through her. “Zach!”
“When you told me you were coming here, I decided to surprise you.”
“Well, you certainly did that.” She laughed, wiping the tears off her face with a tissue. “You must think I’m crazy to be out here talking to a tomb.”
He shook his head and started toward her, looking sexier in his gray sports jacket, T-shirt, and jeans than any man had a right to. “No, I don’t. I find it touching.”
He drew her into his strong arms, holding her tight, his scent surrounding her. Still, she couldn’t help feeling embarrassed. “You overheard what I was saying?”
He brushed his lips over hers. “Don’t let me interrupt you. I came here to be with you and see the city through your eyes—and that means paying my respects to your parents and to Beau, doesn’t it?”
Too touched for words, Natalie nodded, threading her fingers through his and drawing him over to the tomb.
Zach ran his fingers over her parents’ names and Beau’s. “I wish I could have met them.”
Her throat was so tight that she could only whisper, “Me, too.”
For a time they sat on the retaining wall in front of the tomb, holding hands in silence.
It was Zach who spoke first, telling her how he’d visited his friends’ graves in Arlington and had then taken time to track down Debbie, Brian’s widow, to see if he could help her in any way. When he’d finally found her, he learned that she’d been married to Mike’s younger brother for almost three years.
“She apologized for what she said to me at Brian’s funeral, said it had haunted her for years.”
“I knew it must have.” Natalie made a mental note to forgive the woman. “I’m so glad you can put that to rest.”
“Also, I’ve been cleared of any wrongdoing by the brass at the OD. In fact, I think Pearce would have literally kissed my ass if I’d asked him to. He offered me a desk and a big salary, but I turned it down. It just so happens I’ve got a better offer.”
“Oh?” Something about his tone of voice made her nervous.
“Rowan has asked me to serve as her chief deputy, and I’ve accepted. The money’s decent. It will be a lot less dangerous than working the line, and I won’t be away from home nearly as often.” He looked into her eyes. “There will be time in my life for a wife and a family.”
Natalie’s heart skipped. “Are you . . . are you asking me to marry you?”
Zach got down on one knee. “I know I’m not the easiest man to be around, but I’m not the person I was when you met me. You told me we could take life one kiss at a time. But that’s not enough for me now. I don’t want one kiss—I want a thousand. I want to live, Natalie, and I want to love you. I want to be the father of your children. I want to make the most out of every sunrise and sunset. Life is short and fragile. I don’t want to waste another moment on fear and regret.”
Without breaking eye contact, he took her hand. “I love you, Natalie. I love you with everything I am. Will you marry me?”
Natalie glanced over at the tombstone that bore Beau’s name, then met Zach’s gaze, the love he felt for her warm in his gray eyes. She had to swallow the lump in her throat before she could answer, tears of happiness blurring her vision. “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you, Zach.”
He let out a shaky breath, and she realized he’d been nervous. Then he reached into his pocket and drew out the most beautiful diamond ring she’d ever seen. In the center was a princess-cut blue diamond with white solitaires on either side. He slipped it on her finger. “The diamond reminded me of the color of your eyes. I hope you like it.”
“Oh!” She stared at it, astonished. “It’s beautiful.”
He drew her to her feet, took her into his arms, and kissed her—a long, slow kiss that told her how much he loved her in a way words could not, one big hand working its way up her spine till his fingers tangled in her hair.
Heart thudding, she smiled up at him. “Another nine-hundred ninety-nine to go.”
“Then we’d better get back to the hotel.” He grinned.
“Besides we’ve got a lot of practicing to do if we want to get good at making babies.”
“Let’s hurry.” It had been three weeks, after all.
Then, hand in hand, they walked out of the cemetery—and into a new beginning.
EPILOGUE
Two months later
“I CAN’T TAKE my eyes off you.”
Natalie looked up at her new husband as they claimed the first dance, surrounded by friends. “You’re pretty amazing yourself.”
Dressed in a black Armani tux with a gray silk vest, gray silk tie, and crisp white shirt, he looked more edible to Natalie than the four-foot-tall cake they’d cut and left to their guests to devour.
The wedding had gone off without a hitch. They’d rented a manor in Estes Park amid stands of golden aspen, selected a cake, flowers, and a dinner menu, and then left it up to the manor’s staff to put it all together. That had given Natalie the time she needed to find the right dresses for herself and her bridesmaids. She’d gone with a white silk Oscar de la Renta with sheer beaded sleeves and a mini-train, while her bridesmaids had chosen empire-waist gowns in a deep burgundy red, a style that would accommodate Tessa’s and Kat’s growing bellies. Natalie had spent her spare time with Zach hunting for their dream home. They’d found what they wanted—a sunny five-bedroom house with granite countertops, a big sunken tub, and indoor and outdoor fireplaces—in the mountains west of Denver and would move in once they got back from their honeymoon in France.
Zach nuzzled her temple. “I cannot wait to go to our room. I’m going to take off this beautiful silk dress—and whatever sweet things you’re hiding beneath it—and spend the entire night making you scream.”
“Is that a promise?”
“Damn straight it is.”
From somewhere behind them, Joaquin’s camera flashed. He was the official wedding photographer.
Natalie felt a flutter in her belly, anticipation beginning to build. “And how are you going to do that? How are you going to make me scream?”
He nuzzled deeper. “With my fingers, my lips, my tongue, and,” he whispered into her ear, “with my cock.”
She felt a familiar ache between her thighs. “How much longer do we have to wait before it’s polite to leave? Everyone seems to be having such a wonderful time. I think Rowan’s tipsy.”
Zach glanced over at his new boss and chuckled, the smile on his handsome face lighting up Natalie’s heart. “I think we should at least stay for the first hour.”
He looked so much happier these days, less troubled, younger. It wasn’t that the nightmares were gone. He still had bad dreams once in a while, but they were growing less frequent, and he wasn’t turning to alcohol afterward. When dreams woke him, Natalie would hold him, and they would talk or make love, and he would sleep again.
“I am so lucky to have you in my life.” He looked into her eyes, his voice rich and resonant.
She smiled, feeling loved. “Have I ever told you how much I love your voice?”
“My voice?” He looked amused.
“Yes, your voice. It’s the first part of you I met, remember? You spoke to me out of the darkness. For a time, that’s all you were—a voice holding me together.”
He kissed her forehead. “I’m not going to let anything like that happen to you again. You’re going to live out your days as the cosseted and cherished wife of a chief deputy U.S. marshal. What do you think of that, Natalie McBride?”
It helped that Natalie had left journalism. She wasn’t going to work freelance. She wasn’t going to write a book about her ordeal in Mexico. She was going to stay at home, cooking meals, baking pies, and making sure their life together was comfortable. When Zach came home from a hard day’s work, she wanted to be there for him, not coping with her own stress and fatigue. She knew some women would object to her decision, but this was her life, and she was going to live it as she chose.
“That makes me very, very happy.” She drew Zach’s lips down to hers.
And, forgetting about the music, forgetting that they were supposed to be dancing, forgetting about the friends who watched and the camera that flashed, they kissed long and slow and deep.
SAVORING THE SIGHT of the woman he loved out there having fun, Zach stood near the bar with his groomsmen as they watched their wives dance together. The women showed off their sexy dance moves for one another like women did when they danced with other women, belting out the lyrics to Sister Sledge’s “We Are Family” with no hint of inhibition. Next, the DJ played Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach,” during which Tessa and Kat seemed to have great fun exhibiting their pregnant bellies. Then Sophie burst into giggles over something Holly said, wobbling slightly on her heels.
“Yeah, she’s had a bit too much to drink.” Hunter grinned. “Don’t worry. I’ll take advantage of her later.”
“You have to get your wife drunk to get her in bed with you?” Rossiter asked, mock surprise in his voice. “Sorry to hear that.”
“Up yours, Rossiter.” Hunter took a drink. “And who said anything about bed when I got my old Chevy out front?”
“Thanks for the warning.” Darcangelo made a face. “We’ll make sure to give that relic a wide berth when we leave. If I saw your hairy ass bouncing up and down in the backseat, I think it would give me nightmares.”
Hunter chuckled. “Or turn you on.”
“In your dreams.” Then Darcangelo turned to Zach. His left hand was still in a cast, but his thumb was healing well. “So, McBride, how long will it be before there’s a little Zach or Natalie junior around to fight over toys with our kids?”
Rossiter grinned. “We hear you’re, uh . . . practicing. I just have to say that some of us get it right on the first try.”
“That’s called ‘lack of self-control,’ Rossiter,” Hunter said.
Darcangelo laughed. “Look who’s talking. Who got his woman pregnant while he was still running from the law? Oh, yeah. That was
you
, Hunter. No, don’t look at me like that. Tess and I were married before I got her pregnant. That’s more than either of you can say.”
Hunter and Rossiter looked at each other, grinned, then knocked their beer mugs together and drank.
But Zach was confused. “How did you hear that we’re ‘practicing’? I thought that was a private joke between me and my wife.”
Hunter leveled a grave look his way. “They’re women, and they’re journalists. No secrets. Get used to it.”
“Thanks for the warning.” Zach took a drink of stout, then answered the question. “We’re waiting till next year. I want this first year with her. So much has changed for both of us. Sometimes, I don’t believe it’s real.”