Authors: Kim Baldwin
Karla closed the few feet separating them and hugged Bryson tight. “No chance of that. You’ve given me so many wonderful, unforgettable memories. The best ever.”
Bryson kissed her, a slow sweet kiss that felt like good-bye. “I’ll cherish every single moment we’ve spent together, Karla,” she said, her voice breaking with emotion. “I really hope we’ll keep in touch. I don’t want to think about my life without you in it, somehow.”
“I can’t imagine how I’ll just pick up where I left off, when I go home. The thought of not going to sleep wrapped up in your arms is awful.”
“My cabin will seem very, very empty.” Bryson let out a long, resigned sigh. “Well, we better get going.”
Once Karla was tucked back into the sled, they took off again, headed back the way they came.
When darkness fell, it became clear why Bryson had kept them out so late. A brilliant display of northern lights streaked across the sky from horizon to horizon, undulating curtains of green and red and yellow. Karla had glimpsed the amazing sight from the Rasmussen cabin, but the surrounding mountains and frequent overcast skies had diminished their impact. On this clear, cloudless night, as they flew along the flat plain between the mountains and the village, the aurora borealis was an awesome spectacle. The most amazing natural phenomenon she’d ever witnessed. “There are no words for this.”
“I never tire of it. It’s always changing. Different patterns, different colors. You should see them on a night when there’s a lot of shooting stars.”
All too soon, they could see the lights of Bettles in the distance.
“I got us our same room at the Den tonight. We’ll head to Lars and Maggie’s in the morning.”
Karla had told Bryson about Maggie’s decision to have her and the baby tested for eFAD and had filled her in about her own fears about the results. Bryson had absorbed the news with a grim expression. “Do you think I’m being a coward…not wanting to know Maggie’s test results?” she asked. Bryson’s opinion of her had become very important.
“Not at all. You’re incredibly brave, Karla. You took a lot of risks and faced a lot of your fears in coming here and finding Maggie. It’s understandable you’re reluctant to hear that kind of news. I’m not sure I’d want to know, either, if it were me.”
Karla had never told Abby about the strong possibility she might have eFAD, because she’d been too afraid it would scare her off. Who would want to take a partner with such a wretched future? But Bryson struck her as the kind of woman who’d stick by someone she cared about, no matter the heartache ahead. “Does it put you off? Knowing I might have this?”
“It scares me,” Bryson admitted. “Knowing you might not be yourself, might have to deal with what you watched your mother go through. But it doesn’t make me any less inclined to want to spend every minute I can with you, as long as I can, if that’s what you mean.”
She was sure Bryson was speaking from her heart. But she also knew better than Bryson that the loved ones of Alzheimer’s patients suffered the most, not those afflicted with the disease. Could she in good conscience place Bryson in that position?
The answer seemed clear. No. She couldn’t do that to Bryson. She loved her too much. She would take the test, too. If she had the gene mutation, she’d spare Bryson the anguish of watching her lose herself. But if she didn’t, she’d take it as a sign that they should be together. And she’d move heaven and earth to make that happen.
Bryson awoke wrapped possessively around Karla, as though even in sleep she couldn’t bear the thought of letting her go. She listened to the slow cadence of her breathing and unconsciously matched her own to it.
Don’t go.
Though her life had sometimes been lonely, she had settled into a routine, had carved out a place where it was comfortable if not always complete. But being with Karla had changed all that. Now she needed more. Love doubled the joy of every experience, large and small. A good meal, a walk, an evening spent in front of the fire. Nothing would be the same again.
She wished they could be waking up in her cabin with presents under a tree and other adornments to make this a Christmas morning to remember. Grizz wasn’t much on decorating; he’d strung colored lights around the window of their room, but it was the only sign of the holiday.
Karla stirred, shifting slightly so her face nestled against Bryson’s neck.
“You awake?” Bryson whispered.
“Mmm. Sorta.” Karla hugged her tighter. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas to you, too. Can’t say I could imagine a more perfect gift than to wake up in your arms.”
“Good. ’Cause I’m afraid I haven’t had the opportunity to buy you anything.”
“Your being here has been exactly what I wanted and needed.” Bryson kissed Karla’s forehead before pulling away to turn on the bedside light and retrieve a small package from her coat. “I did get you a little something. I hope you like it.” She’d spent hours shopping in Fairbanks one day, trying to find the perfect gift.
Karla slowly unwrapped the colorful paper and opened the small box within. It contained a pair of jade earrings, rimmed with gold. “Oh, Bryson, they’re lovely.”
“Jade’s the state gemstone. And the gold is from the Wild Lake Mine, not too far from Maggie and Lars’s cabin.”
“Oh, that’s just too cool. Thank you so much.” Karla hugged Bryson, then immediately put the earrings on. They crawled back under the covers.
“I’m glad you like them.” Bryson hugged her close. “Now, where do you want to stay tonight? The sun’s only up for a couple of hours, so if you want to spend all day with Maggie and Lars, we’ll either need to bunk with them or come back here. I can take off from the lake at night, but I can’t land at my cabin. If you choose my place, we’ll only have about ninety minutes with them if we take off from here just before first light.”
Karla groaned. “That sucks. I want to spend Christmas with them, but I’m very protective of the little time we have left together. I love this room, but at your place there’s less chance we’ll disturb the neighbors when you get all wound up and ready to come.”
“Hey, you should talk. I’m surprised Grizz didn’t come up here last night and ask us to keep it down.”
“What can I say? You drive me crazy. I forget about anything and everything else.” Karla kissed her neck while her hand slid purposefully down Bryson’s stomach. “There is one benefit to these short days,” she added, glancing at the clock. It was only seven-thirty. “We’ve got, what, four hours before the sun comes up and we can leave? Plenty of time for a proper good morning.”
“More than plenty, sweetheart.” The endearment slipped out easily, without any forethought.
“Sweetheart, huh?” Karla’s tone went from playful to serious.
“Never called anyone that before,” Bryson admitted, equally serious.
“Bryson…”
“Yes?”
“I thought of something else I can give you for Christmas.”
“What’s that?”
Karla’s eyes were moist as she reached for Bryson’s hand and placed it on her chest. “I give you my heart, Bryson. Near or far, no matter what the future holds, I want you to know that I love you.”
She could feel the strong, rapid beating of Karla’s heart beneath her palm, and her own pulse matched it. “I feel the same, Karla.” Her voice was husky at the admission. “I’m so much in love with you the thought of you leaving is tearing me apart.”
They moved into each other’s arms and clung to each other, faces wet with tears. Bryson couldn’t speak; the longing that enveloped her was suffocating.
They lingered in bed until just before first light, then headed to the Cub. Both agreed to put on a brave face when they arrived at the Rasmussen cabin. There was no need to let their despondency over the future dampen their Christmas with Lars, Maggie, and Karson.
*
Maggie had prepared a Christmas brunch, and afterward, they turned to the happy task of exchanging presents. Most of the packages beneath the tree were for Karson. Maggie had sent Lars out shopping before she was released from the hospital, and he had gone overboard. But there was also a smattering of gifts for the rest.
Lars and Maggie gave Bryson a new sweater and set of carving knives, and she gave them a pair of powerful binoculars with a built-in digital camera. For Karla, Maggie had instructed Lars to seek out something uniquely Alaskan, and he’d chosen a splendid example of Inuit art—a polar bear carved from whalebone.
“It’s amazing.” Karla turned the piece over in her hands, examining the fine detail work. “Thanks so much.” From her pocket, she withdrew a small bundle wrapped in tissue paper. “I’m sorry I don’t have something for each of you. Didn’t expect to be here over the holidays. But I have something for Maggie.” She handed the gift to her sister. “It was our mother’s. She rarely took it off.”
Maggie unwrapped the delicate necklace and held it up for the rest to see. “It’s beautiful, Karla. Are you sure you want to part with it?”
“It’s been a great comfort me, I’ll admit. But being here with all of you has helped me find my own inner strength.” She glanced at Bryson and smiled before returning her attention to Maggie. “She’d want you to have it. And it matches your eyes.” Karla helped her put it on.
“I’ll cherish this.” Maggie embraced her.
“And one more thing.” Karla handed her another small tissue-wrapped gift. “Lars made the frame.” It was one of the pictures she’d brought of their mother, taken in her teens, not long after she had Maggie.
Maggie stroked her thumb over the photo. “Thanks, sis.”
“Not that Karson hasn’t already raked it in this Christmas,” Lars said, surveying the abundance of toys and clothes piled beside the baby’s crib with a smile, “but there’s one more gift we’d like for her from the two of you.” He took Maggie’s hand and they both looked at Bryson and Karla. “We’d like you to be her godparents.”
“I’d be honored,” Bryson immediately replied.
“I’d love that, too,” Karla said. “But I’m not sure when I can get back here. When are you planning to have her baptized?”
“We’d like to do it fairly soon,” Maggie said. “Probably in the next couple of months, and we realize it’s apt to be tough for you to make it back that soon. But you can have a proxy stand in for you.”
“Then I happily accept. And if there’s any way I can be here, you know I will.”
“Wonderful,” Maggie said, embracing her.
“This calls for that bottle of champagne we’ve been saving.” Lars retrieved the bubbly and they raised their glasses in a toast. “Here’s hoping this Christmas is only the first of many we can spend together.”
“Amen to that,” Maggie added.
Bryson raised her hand and smiled. “That makes it unanimous. You have to be here, Karla.”
“I’ll do my best.”
All too soon, it was time to say good-bye if they were to get to Bryson’s before full dark. They all trooped down the trail to the Cub.
“I’m sorry we can’t stay longer,” Karla told Maggie as they hugged each other tight. “Thanks for understanding.”
“Thank
you
for everything.” Maggie started crying. “For finding me, for coming here, for helping with Karson. Please keep in touch as best as you can.”
“I will. I promise. I’ll miss you all so much.” Karla’s own tears began to fall. She kissed the baby good-bye and hugged Lars before climbing into the passenger seat behind Bryson.
“Be careful,” Maggie yelled to Bryson over the roar of the propeller. “Precious cargo you have there.”
Bryson waved. “Don’t I know it. See you guys soon.”
*
Their lovemaking that night was bittersweet, punctuated with tears over their imminent parting. Bryson prayed that a storm would blow in and strand them there, but though a blizzard had socked in the southern part of the state, the forecast called for moderate snow and light winds in the interior. They got little sleep and were bleary-eyed when it came time for Karla to pack for the flight to Fairbanks.
The satellite phone rang just as they were heading out. “Bet that’s Maggie, calling for a final good-bye,” Bryson said as she reached for it. But the voice on the other end was Skeeter’s.
“Bryson, we’ve got a bad situation.” His voice was grave. “Three mountain climbers are in trouble up on Trapper’s Peak. They tried to hike down this morning and one fell into a crevasse. A woman. They got her out, but she’s got two broken legs and a broken arm, and who knows what else. From their GPS, they’re at six thousand feet, on the edge of a glacier.”
Skeeter didn’t have to say more. He went quiet, awaiting her decision. Few bush pilots but her would risk such a flight, and the elevation was too high for the two private air-ambulance services that served Bettles in emergencies. The Anchorage Rescue Coordination Center might dispatch an Alaska Air National Guard chopper, but it would take hours to reach them. Trapper’s Peak was in her backyard. “I’m on my way. Call you when I get in the air.”
“Roger that. Be careful.”
She briefed Karla on the situation as she packed a bag with extra supplies. “I don’t have a choice, honey. I’m sorry. I can drop you in Bettles—it’s on the way—but I’ll have to take right off again. You can catch the Wright Air Flight later and still make it to Fairbanks in time, but I won’t be able to see you off.”