Breathe (14 page)

Despite how tired I was and ready to take a long shower I smiled at all the cameras and signed a couple autographs for the fans stuck in the airport same as me. America was one place where the paparazzi ran wild. Well there and London. If they think they will see a celebrity they are on it like flies round shite. Seriously, it’s maddening. Once we retrieved my bags and made it out the terminal doors I was relieved to see the dark SUV idling at the curb. The window rolled down and Joey pocked his head out.

“Hey mate!! Ready to lay your head down on a real bed and eat a real dinner?” I glared at him, waiting for the punchline. “Too damn bad cause you are stuck in New York where none of us have a house so hotel it is.”

I climbed in, giving Cora a quick kiss on the cheek and ruffling all three kids’ heads before turning and punching Joey in the stomach.

“You are so childish. And I am so ready for this to be over. I can take a few months off and go home. I miss it.” Cora and Joey both nodded. They had just gotten to town, and they had been in Paris since last March, it was now November. They were ready to go home too. I settled back into the SUVs leather seats, closed my eyes, and let myself doze while Mark drove us to our hotel.

“Hey mate, we are here. Come on you bloody sod. I am starving.” I grumbled a little, rubbing my hand across my face. I was in desperate need of a hot shower, a bed, and a bacon cheeseburger. Not entirely in that order. I climbed out of the SUV, helping Joey grab my bags and helping with the kids. Cora had already checked me in when they all did earlier so we were able to go straight up to our rooms.

“Here you go Daniel. We will get ready and meet you in about 20 minutes for dinner okay?” I nodded mechanically at Cora, mustering up a small smile for her, then bent and kissed her on the cheek.

“I will be ready.” I opened the hotel room door, throwing my bags into the corner and heading straight for the shower. Pulling my sweater over my head as I went and throwing it on the bed as I passed.

Twenty minutes later I was feeling semi-human again after washing all the travel grime off and changing into a simple white t-shirt and jeans. I pulled a baseball hat out of my bag and tugged it on over my damp hair and grabbed my leather jacket just as a knock sounded on the door. I grabbed my phone, wallet, and keys stuffing them into my pocket as I opened the door and walked into the hallway where Cora and Joey stood, childless.

“Where are the kids?”

“Lily is staying with them. They wanted to watch movies and order room service tonight.” I frowned, looking down at my phone. I left Paris two months ago, calling Kathryn when I landed in Vancouver as promised. She hadn’t answered nor had she returned that call. Except for a handful of texts and phone calls we hadn’t had any communication at all. I texted her that I was in town as soon as the plane hit the tarmac, hoping to see her tonight but still no answer.

I shrugged, I would deal with that later, for now I was in desperate need of a bacon cheeseburger and New York City had some of the best. Each time we were in New York as young struggling artists Joey and I always looked up different places in the city for bacon cheeseburgers and over the years we have found some truly remarkable places. Tonight it would be Uncle Pat’s since it was just around the corner and we were all too tired to go much further.

As we walked down the street, Cora and Joey walked ahead. He had his arm around her shoulder and she had hers around his waist. They always walked like that, always seemed like they had to be touching in some way as if they were magnets that couldn’t stay apart from each other for very long. I stuffed my hands into my jacket pockets, trying not to feel sorry for myself that I was alone but I felt the deep emptiness anyway. I wanted to be able to walk down the street with Kathryn just like that, laughing and talking with my friends. My bed and my arms feel empty without her, but it seemed like she just wasn’t as keen on the idea as I was.

Shaking my head I stepped up between my friends, effectively pulling them apart, and wrapped my arms around their shoulders.

“The first pint is on me!!”

(Kathryn)

I stared down at the magazine clippings that I had in my lap. A manila folder showed up once a week wherever I was, usually having one or two pictures of Daniel and some other woman. Some of them I knew were his co-stars and were more than likely taken on set but others I wasn’t so sure about. One in particular made me nauseous just looking at it. It was Daniel in an intimate embrace with a blonde against the wall of an alley. I couldn’t tell where it was exactly or who the blonde was but the time stamp on the picture was just days after he had left Paris.

Each one had computer-generated captions. “Do you really think you are the only one?” “Why do you think you are special?” “Do you really think that he would ever chose you over them?” Were just a few of the captions. Playing on my own insecurities and doubts.

I didn’t know where these clippings were coming from or who was sending them, I did know that whoever it was, was watching both me and Daniel, since they always showed up wherever I was. That terrified me. After the third envelope had shown up I kept a close eye on my kids, having my security team hire extra security for them both, completely ignoring Tyler’s disgruntled moaning that he had to have a body guard with him at work. Lily took it in stride as she always did, bonding with her shadow, instead of fighting it. I even considered trading Tyler’s male bodyguard for a girl to see if that would shut him up but at the end of the day I like Christopher. He was an ex-marine and could keep Tyler safe, so he would just have to whine.

Lily called as soon as she reached the hotel and called every hour to check in and let me know that she was fine and Tyler though he did it grudgingly did the same. He was out with some co-workers at a dance club downtown so his communication was texts but it kept me happy.

Cora and Joey had invited me to join them tonight to try Uncle Pat’s epic bacon cheeseburgers but I knew Daniel would be there and I wasn’t ready to face him yet. These pictures showed that he wasn’t going to settle down with one person, and that person was definitely not going to be me if he was. All these women were tall and gorgeous. I was short, and cute if anything, gorgeous wouldn’t be a word used to describe me.

Instead I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, and hit the gym. Running always helped me lose focus for just a little bit on the mundane details and misery of life. I would run a few miles and suddenly those issues just didn’t mean as much as they did before. Unfortunately, lately that wasn’t the case. Even after running a few miles, that envelope full of pictures was still on my desk. Daniel was still holding hands, dancing, and making out with other women. I just had to run long enough until that just didn’t matter anymore.

After over an hour of running the track at the top of the gym, I was nowhere near close to figuring any of this out, my head of security was working on trying to figure out where they were coming from and who was responsible. None of them had a postmark, always just showing up in the door slit while we were in Paris and inside the mailbox, sans postage, since we have been in New York, one even slipped into an alarmed locked car.

I walked back to our townhouse, just two blocks up from the gym. My head of security was waiting by the gym entrance, falling in step behind me as I went. Josh, was also an ex-marine and I felt a lot safer with him around. As I got to the townhouse, he stepped forward, unlocking the door and searching it while I waited in the foyer for the all clear. Josh would then hang in the den while I grabbed a shower and climbed in to bed. Wrapping my tired body with my warm blankets and letting sleep steal my thoughts away for at least a little while. I would worry about the pictures tomorrow.

(Daniel)

I enjoyed hanging with my friends again, getting caught up with their kids and what was going on in Paris but I was ready to head back to the hotel early and get some sleep. Where was Kathryn? What was she doing? How was she feeling? Why wasn’t she here? These questions kept playing in my head all night long, distracting me.

“Hey mate, you with us?” I glanced over at Joey and shrugged.

“Just tired I guess. It has been a long few months.” Cora stood up and grabbed her coat from the back of her chair.

“Let’s go back to the hotel then. I can use an early bedtime as well.”

“Don’t we need the bill?” Joey smirked and shook his head.

“Nope, while you were away with the fairies. I paid it.” I grinned over at my friend, grabbing him around the neck and ruffling his hair, earning me a punch in the side and an exasperated sigh from Cora.

“Will you two ever grow up?” Joey and I grinned at each other then looked at her.

“Nope.” We both said in unison. She rolled her eyes and pushed her way out of the restaurant. The wind had picked up since we had been sitting there, we all grabbed our coats and pulled them closer. Tucking our hands deep in the pockets as we hurried to the hotel. We joked and played around the few blocks it took to get back and up to our rooms. It was always easy to be with Joey and Cora, they knew me from the inside out, and love me unconditionally no matter what. I could be myself without any pretenses and they got me. Just as Kathryn did.

We said goodnight and I entered my room. Standing there looking at the rather large room with its blue and cream décor. Any other time I would be relishing the luxury surrounding me, but suddenly it just seemed cold, and lonely. I stripped out of my jacket, t-shirt, and jeans, climbing under the warm covers of the king size bed, pulling one pillow against me wishing it was Kathryn’s soft body instead. Why hadn’t she returned my calls, and why didn’t she come tonight? I know Joey and Cora invited her. I felt sleep crowding in around me. Those questions would just have to wait until tomorrow. For now, my mind was too tired to work it out.

(Daniel)

I rolled over, wincing when I saw the alarm clock saying it was only 6:00 in the morning. I grabbed my phone from where it was sitting on the table beside the bed, hooked up to its charger. I squinted at the caller id, and groaned deeply when I saw it said, Mary- Lynn’s Mum.

“Yes, Mary what can I do for you?”

“Did I wake you Daniel?” I ran my hand across the stubble on my face, and nodded before I realized that she couldn’t see me.

“Yes, but that’s okay. What do you need Mary?”

“Has Lynn contacted you?” I lay back down, throwing my arm across my face.

“The last time I saw or heard from her was six months ago. Why?”

“Well she was released to me the day after you called. She was put on house arrest for four months so she stayed with us here with Jillian. Then two months ago she said she had a modeling gig in Paris. She kept in touch for a few weeks because she left Jillian with us, but we haven’t heard from her in about six weeks. I didn’t want to worry you or get you involved but at this point you were the last person we hadn’t checked with.” At this point I was sitting straight up in bed, fully awake.

“Who did she say she was working with in Paris?” I heard some rustling noise as if Mary were looking through some papers.

“Here it is. She said she was working with a Cora Walker. Does that sound familiar?” Panic hit me in the stomach.

“Yes it does. Mary I will check into this and I will get back with you. Okay?”

“Yes of course. I know you two had a rough ending and I completely understand why.” She paused and I waited silently, knowing how hard it was for Mary to admit that her daughter was a freaking lunatic. “Peter and I waited so long to have a child so when Lynn came around we gave her everything she ever wanted. Not realizing until it was too late what that was doing to her. I am so sorry she has hurt you, and thank you for helping me now.”

“Mary at some point you have to forgive yourself. Lynn is a grown woman and no matter how she was raised, her choices are her own. She needs to realize that and take the consequences for those choices.” I heard Mary’s deep sigh, my heart aching for the sadness I heard in her voice.

“I know Daniel, I know.”

“I will call you as soon as I know anything.”

“Thank you. Bye Daniel.”

“Take care, Mary.” I hung up the phone and sat in the bed for a few more minutes, my mind racing with questions and theories.

Why would Lynn say she was working for Cora in Paris? Surely if she was Cora would have said something to me about it. The answer is she wouldn’t hire Lynn. But what is Lynn’s game? Did she actually go to Paris like she said? Where was she now? What the hell was she doing?

I knew that Cora always got up early to do Yoga of all things so I grabbed my phone and hit my speed dial for her. She answered on the second ring.

“Hey Daniel. You are up early. I was about to start my Yoga. Wanna come down and join me?”

I scoffed and gagged. “That would be a no. You want to join me later at the gym upstairs to run a few miles?”

Cora made the same sounds I just did and I laughed.

“Yeah no. Unless there is a murderous evil clown behind me you know I would never ever run.” I rubbed my hand through my hair, down the back of my neck and across my chin again.

“Cora, I need to ask you something.”

“What’s up?”

“You didn’t hire Lynn to work some modeling stuff for you in Paris did you?”

She started laughing. I heard a plunk and an ‘oof ‘picturing Cora falling out of her downward dog to fall on the floor, then more laughter.

“Are you serious?”

“Um, yeah I was.”

The laughter suddenly stopped. “Daniel, first of all, Lynn isn’t the image that I am ever going for. She is too skinny and fake. I like curvy and real. Second of all if I were to ever even contemplate hiring any of your exes, and let’s be honest that is a damn long list, I would talk to you first.” I rolled my eyes at her long list comment, and then sighed.

“I know that Cora but I had to make sure. Supposedly she told her mum about two months ago that you hired her. She left Jillian with Mary and Peter when she went to Paris. No one has heard from her in six weeks.”

“What?!? Where is she?”

I rolled my eyes again but smiled this time. “I have no idea Cora that is why I wanted to double check with you on the off chance that you had hired her and had forgotten to let me know.”             

“You know me better than that. Joey is the one that forgets things.” I heard a loud gasp and a grumble from Cora’s side of the phone. Clearly Joey was awake and didn’t appreciate that remark. “Oh stop it Joey, you know you forget things all the damn time.”

“Hey you aren’t perfect. You forget all the time too. Lose track of time and I have to send Dimples to drag you back home.”

“I didn’t forget that time, you assumed I would and preemptively sent Mr. More Strength Then He Needs Dimples to come get me. I still haven’t fully forgiven you for that by the way.”

“Cora!! Back to me and leave that bloody bastard alone. He can’t help himself sometimes.” Cora laughed.

“Okay Daniel! But no, the last time I even talked to Lynn was right about the time Jillian was born. I haven’t even seen her since then.”

I nodded to myself. I knew Cora wouldn’t hire her without at least talking to me first, but it was easier to start at square one and work your way around the board.

“What a bloody mess. What the hell could she be doing?”

“Who knows. Maybe she found another man to shack up with and didn’t want to disturb her parents. You know how she is.”

“Yes, I do. Okay. Well I am going back to sleep for a few more hours.”

“Okay Daniel. Sweet dreams. I promised the kids a trip to the giant piano at F.A.O Schwartz later if you want to come too.”

“Giant piano? I am there. Do. Not. Leave. Without. Me.” I hung up with the sound of her laughter on the other end. I smiled and lay back underneath the covers. Letting the puzzle of Lynn slip away as sleep took over again.

(Kathryn)

I stood staring at my closet, trying to figure out what to wear on a shopping trip with my best friend, Taylor. She was coming over with her two kids, Sasha and Michael, 6 and 10. She had promised them a quick trip to F.A.O Schwartz and then Lily was taking them to the movies so Taylor and I could have some girl time. It had been six months after all, and though I had Cora during that time, I needed some Taylor time. I heard the front door ring so I grabbed the first sweater my hand touched and threw it over my head as I ran down the hall to the stairs. Josh reached the door before I did, letting Taylor and both kids in along with a blast of arctic November air. I ran down the steps and hugged my friend tight. We were both the same height, five foot nothing but where I had wavy auburn hair, and amber eyes, Taylor had long brunette hair and grey eyes. She was still carrying around extra weight that she was constantly complaining about, but I thought she was beautiful. She was married to Jack, another army guy who had served with Sean. They had married young, had kids young, like Sean and I, and always seemed to be so in love. She had taken night and online classes to achieve a degree in counseling which as of yet she hadn’t chosen to use, instead choosing to focus on being a wife and mother. She had a wicked sense of humor and was smarter than she gave herself credit for, and I absolutely adored her. I stepped back, grinning at her, and she snorted.

“What are you wearing?” I looked down at realized I had grabbed a sweater I had made last year for a Golden Hearts Foundation Christmas party. It was red, with Santa and a reindeer stitched on it. The Reindeer had a blinking red nose and Santa’s eyes glowed a freaky blue color. It was absolutely hideous. I looked up at Taylor and we both cracked up laughing.

“I grabbed whatever was closest when I heard the doorbell.”

“Probably should bury that thing and put it out of its misery instead of putting it back in the closet my friend.”

I laughed even harder and nodded. “First thing tomorrow. One sec while I go change, and then we can head out.” I ran back upstairs, yanking off the stupid Christmas sweater and grabbing a simple black one instead. I knocked on Lily’s door as I passed. “Hurry up, Taylor is here with Sasha and Michael if you wanna come with us.”

“One sec momma, I will be right down.”

I hurried back down the stairs and followed the sounds of laughing to the kitchen where Tyler was trying to show Sasha and Michael his culinary talents in the kitchen. Unfortunately he had no such talents so water was boiling over the stove and the cookies that he had tried to bake were black pucks. He glanced up sheepishly as I walked in. I grinned at him, wrapping my arm around his waist and ruffled his hair.

“It’s okay. Taylor and I will grab you some cookies on our way back later. Call in some Chinese delivery if you are hungry.” Just then Lily waltzed into the kitchen, wrinkling her noise at the smell of burnt chocolate chips cookies.

“Tyler, you need to give up all hope of ever being able to make anything in the kitchen. You have to find a wife who knows how to cook. That needs to be at the top of the list right above crazy, and low expectations.” She squealed and darted toward the front door as her brother lunged across the kitchen towards her. I rolled my eyes at Taylor who was standing on the other side of the kitchen bar, her hand over her mouth, eyes sparkling with mirth.

“Let’s get her out of here before they kill each other.” We walked to the front of the house, I grabbed my jacket that was hanging on the hook and pulled it on. “Tyler let go of your sister so we can go. Sasha and Michael want to play on the giant piano before Lily takes them to the new Pixar movie.”

Tyler rubbed his sister’s head one more time before letting her out of the chokehold he had her in. She elbowed him in the stomach then attempted to smooth her hair back into its ponytail. She stuck her tongue out at him and he grinned down at her unrepentantly. I shook my head and opened the door. They just never grow up, 22 and 17, acting like damn three year olds. A brisk breeze was blowing down the street, and I was glad I had the forethought to make sure Josh brought my SUV around so we weren’t walking in this cold air for long. Lily’s security would be following us in another car and would be taking her and the kids to the movies, staying with them the whole time. Tyler’s security was sitting on the couch in the living room playing games on the PlayStation while Tyler worked on a project for work today.

I know Taylor noticed the extra security but I also know she will wait until we are alone before bringing it up. Just another reason why I loved that woman so much. We all climbed into the back of my SUV and Josh drove us downtown to F.A.O Schwartz so the kids could play on the giant piano. All three kids, including Lily were excited. She had never outgrown the magic of that piano. As a matter of fact neither had Taylor or me.

(Daniel)

Joey and Cora had arranged for the twins and Jamie to have some time alone on the piano, they didn’t throw around their celebrity or wealth much, but for this they did. I was thankful because then I got to get up and play as well. I sat down next to Lauren to take off my shoes and grinned over at her girlish giggles.

“Are you really going to play too Uncle Daniel?”

“Of course my wee missus. What is the fun in letting the kids have all the fun?” I winked at her and she wrapped her little arms around my neck in a tight hug. Lauren gave the best hugs in the world. Her sister Lena was more reserved but man when she smiled as she was doing now, the whole world lit up. I stood and grabbed both little girls’ hands as we stepped up onto the piano. “Now girls. Do you know how to play Beethoven? No? How about Mozart, you look like two girls who could play some mean Mozart.” The both grinned up at me and shook their heads again.

“Right. Then a Walker/Kaehe original it is. Let’s go!” We ran from one end of the piano to the other, sliding a little in our socks as we reached the end. “See we make beautiful music.”

Just then Jamie joined us and started hopping from one key to the next on the other end of the piano. The girls thought that was loads of fun and chose their own keys to start hopping on. I grinned as I watched them, enjoying the sweet innocence of childhood through their eyes.

A noise at the entrance to the piano room made me lift my head, and my breath caught in my throat. There stood Kathryn, her auburn hair windswept and gorgeous. She was standing next to a curvy brunette woman who was arguing with the tall toy soldier who was guarding the room. Just as I went to intercept, Cora caught sight of Kathryn and hollered.

“Kathryn!! Soldier boy move aside. Come in, and join us!” She rushed across the room and grabbed Kathryn in a hug. I stayed where I was, drinking in the sight of her. It had been three months since I had gazed at her beautiful face, six weeks since I heard her voice, and two since I had received any communication from her at all. I frowned at that and started forward.

“Uncle Daniel! Come on, we have to have a Kaehe to make it a Walker/Kaehe original.” I looked over at Lauren and grinned.

“You my wee missus are very right.” I looked back at Kathryn, my blue eyes clashing with her amber ones. She quickly looked away, turning back towards Cora. I frowned again but joined the twins and Jamie on the piano. I ran from one end of the piano and slid at the other end as they all kept hopping across their notes. They giggled as I pranced around them, tickling the girls as I moved past them.