Breathe Again (4 page)

Slipping into the tub chair in the corner of the living room, I narrowed my attention to where Sav was sitting close to Lucas on the couch. It almost looked like she was craving protection from him.

I was desperate for her to look at me. I knew my eyes had the potential to lock her in, and I was willing to try anything and everything to get a moment in her soul, in her thoughts, and in her memories.

“What about that chick that was all over Tate in Vegas?” Jack laughed, chugging back his beer, totally oblivious to what a statement like that would do to a highly volatile situation.

Sav’s eyes flew to Jack’s as the color drained from his face as guilt swamped him.

“Nice one, dickhead,” Lucas growled beside Savannah before turning to her protectively.

Without a second thought, I rushed towards her and grabbed her hand in mine. Screw the ‘don’t touch her’ rule. “It’s not like that, Sav.”

She snatched her hand from mine and her eyes went blank as she looked at me. “It’s not like I have any say about what and who you do anymore, Tate.”

Tension-filled silence drowned the air.

“Are you really going to sit there and say that?” I felt my frustration levels rising by the second, and it didn’t help that I had a stomach full of alcohol. “Do you really think I would fuck around on you? Do you honestly think that little of me that I would fuck some random chick in Vegas while my pregnant girlfriend is on the other side of the country? Do you really think that low of me?”

Tanzi’s gasp filled the air. Savannah’s eyes fired into mine and the strength of her face didn’t falter.

“I don’t know what I think, Tate. I can’t think of anything but the video I saw. That’s the only thing I see when I close my eyes at night and it’s the only thing I have thought about for the past two months.” Her eyes suddenly left mine and dropped to the hem of her shirt, which she was now playing with. “But you know what? You can screw whoever the hell you want.”

You have got to me kidding me.
“Look at me, Savannah,” I growled.

“Tate, just shut up. I can’t look at you because as soon as I do you will suck me in again. You will do that thing where you dive so deep into my soul and rip it apart. You will read every single thought that is running through my mind. That’s why I can’t look at you.”

“Look at me so you can see what I can’t seem to say to you.”

“Tate, there is nothing that needs to be said.”

I took a step towards her so that there was barely an inch between us, my voice lowering. “Like fuck there isn’t.”

Suddenly Savannah stood from the couch in front of me, rushed through the apartment towards the balcony, and disappeared through the glass door and out of view. I had pushed her too far.

“I’ll go and sort her out,” Lucas said, giving me a nod and following in the direction of Sav. Tanzi offered me a weak smile and Jack remained silent, guilt still evident on his face.

I couldn’t just sit there.

I walked towards the balcony and stopped as I heard the soft echo of Sav’s and Lucas’s voices. Nausea rolled within me, my stomach flip-flopping as I feared what I might overhear.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, Savannah?” I swallowed hard, awaiting Sav’s reply. “Hey, don’t cry. What’s wrong?”

“Oh, you know, just your typical Savannah saga… I go to New York, I lose my boyfriend, I come home to find out that some skank was all over him in Las Vegas, and I am getting fat and none of my clothes fit me anymore. It’s like I am in some screwed-up soap opera.”

“You haven’t lost him.”

Good on you, Lucas. Tell her what she wouldn’t allow me to say.

“WHAT?! Are you drunk, Lucas? Because that could be the only excuse for your ludicrous statement! Have you not heard about the video that was shown to me of my boyfriend with his dick down the throat of slut-mole Chelsea?”

“You and I both know that video wasn’t new.”

“And how would you know that, Lucas? Enlighten me.”

“If you gave Tate two minutes to talk to you, he would tell you.”

“I can’t.”

“Savannah Maree Rae, you and Tate are not over. You are just both as stubborn as fuck and won’t talk. I feel sorry for your spawn. He or she is going to have hard-as-nails parents. Thank god Uncle Lucas will be around.” I heard a shuffle of feet and chanced a look around the door to find Savannah locked in a hug with Lucas.

“Did my makeup run?” Sav asked in a quiet voice.

“You look gorgeous. Now let’s go and eat pizza.”

Rushing back to the living room, I collapsed on the couch and fidgeted with the beer bottle that was now warm. Tanzi and Jack both looked up when the sound of the glass door leading to the balcony slid open. My eyes finally looked at Sav and my heart pounded in my chest. Her eyes were glassy and anyone could tell she had been crying. Sav glanced around the room as hesitation rolled within her and she reluctantly sat on the only vacant seat in the room—the couch beside me—her eyes never finding mine. Lucas took a seat across from me and offered a weak smile. For someone I despised for so long, he had now somehow become a needed support.

“We ordered your favorite pizza,” I said softly, daring to attempt to start a conversation. All she did was nod.

Chattering filled my ears and the smell of pizza caressed my senses. The conversation I overheard between Sav and Lucas had struck a part of my heart, and I desperately wanted to talk about it. I needed to talk about it, but at this rate, I was barely getting one word out of her.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Sav began eating slice after slice of pizza. I zoned into the conversation around me, listening as Lucas talked about work, Jack talked about his recent shifts at Red Velvet, and Tanzi talked about the new neighbors who had decided that sex in public places was a prerequisite of living in the building.

“You inhaled that, Sav!” Jack laughed, throwing his crust towards her.

“I am eating for two, you know. I’ve gotta feed this little one.” Sav patted her protruding stomach before grabbing for another slice. “This is the one time I can eat whatever the hell I want. I will deal with the consequences later.”

“Let go have birthday shots before we go to Red Velvet,” Lucas announced. Tanzi and Jack hollered a resounding, “Yes!” before the three of them rushed to the kitchen, leaving Sav and me in an uncomfortable silence. My phone buzzed on my lap and I saw that it was Mom. As soon as I said hello, Mom went into a spiel about having to find out that Savannah was back in Los Angeles from Tanzi and then the questions about Jellybean started.

“Yes, she is. Jellybean is fine. Savannah is great.” At the sound of her name, Sav’s questioning gaze found me. “Sure. Okay. Hang on.”

With a deep breath, I turned and handed Sav my phone.

“It’s Mom. She wants to talk to you.”

Sav nodded and began speaking softly to Mom. I couldn’t help but smile as I heard Sav answer Mom’s questions. I could only imagine what she was being asked. The words
morning sickness, cravings, and baby clothes
floated through the air. The first thing I noticed was Sav’s eyes glistening before hearing her voice crack. My need to comfort her was so strong, but I remained still. I couldn’t risk pushing her further away. Her green eyes found mine and the softness that fired back at me made my heart finally start beating again. When the call finished, Sav handed me my phone, a small smile covering her lips.

“Shit!” Sav suddenly cried out, her hand flying down to her stomach.

Fear swept through me. “What’s wrong?” I begged, my eyes wide.

My eyes shot a look of distress between her eyes and her stomach as I tried to work out what was happening. Hesitation flickered over her face as if she were questioning her next move. In one swift movement, I turned to face her, crossing my legs under my body.

“Your baby is very active and decided to kick.” Massaging her stomach seemed to be the only way to calm down Jellybean’s recently acquired athletic skills.

“Does Jellybean move a lot?” I asked, unable to hide the sadness I felt of not yet being able to feel my baby move.

“We have a very active baby.”

Sav suddenly grabbed my hand without showing any signs of doubt and gently placed it on her swelling stomach. “It’s better if you touch my bare skin,” she whispered, giving me permission to lift her shirt.

I felt the heat tear between us as my bare hand rested on her skin. Suddenly, my heart began pounding hard in my chest as the heat rose from her skin through to me.

“I’m sorry about losing my shit earlier,” I apologised, shooting a pleading look at her.

“Let’s not.”

All of a sudden, as if Jellybean knew that it was time to interrupt Mommy and Daddy time, Sav’s stomach rippled as a strong thud vibrated from her skin to my hand.

“Holy shit,” I whispered, drawing my eyes from my hand to look at her. The moment our eyes connected, I felt our flame burn between us. We had unfinished business, and there was still the devastatingly powerful feeling of love simmering between us. I hoped my eyes showed the thousand unspoken words I was so desperate to say.

“Come to my place tonight and we can talk,” Sav spoke so softly that I thought I imagined it.

I hope to the heavens above that I didn’t.

Savannah

T
IME STOOD
still, everyone eyeing me with expectation. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and scared of what my body was doing to me; the same body that was begging me to completely and utterly throw myself at Tate’s mercy. I had just gotten caught under the Tate Connors Effect once again and had invited him to my place later. What the hell was wrong with me? We had just argued and thrown accusations at each other and now all I wanted was him alone in my apartment. Damn hormones.

Jack’s eyes narrowed in on me in anticipation and hope. “Please come out with us, Sav.” He took a step towards me and lowered his mouth to my ear. “I missed you, Sav. We all have. Please come out, even for just an hour.”

My eyes bounced between Tate, Lucas, Tanzi, and Jack, their expressions matching each other’s. How could I say no? Tanzi had just announced that the party was moving to Red Velvet, and it was life or death that I made an appearance.

“An hour. You get me for an hour. I’ve got to go and rest this weary body. I need my bath and my candles.”

A glimmer of a smile flashed over Tate’s lips and I didn’t miss it. I noticed everything about him. I nervously ran my fingers through my hair as my memories flashed back to Tate’s and my adventures in the bath in New York City. Fuck, that had been hot, and my body still remembered every single kiss and caress and the way his fingers had taken my body to places I’d never thought existed. I was like a dog in heat. Pregnancy was causing my sex drive to go into the catastrophic zone. All I thought about was sex, and two months without it was killing me.

“I know exactly what you are thinking about, Sav. I know I am stepping over the line saying this, but thinking of the way my fingers were so deep in you has made the last two months bearable. You were amazing,” Tate’s voice hummed in my ear as he stood so closely that his scent caressed my senses. My eyes closed tight as heat rose deep inside of me. An impending explosion rumbled within me by a simple couple of sentences spoken from him.
Arsehole
. His torturous assault on my increased libido thankfully ceased as he stepped around me and slipped through the door and out to the foyer.

No, Savannah, you needed to talk and sort things out before you even think about having sex with him.

It was going to be a long night.

W
ALKING INTO
Red Velvet pregnant caused a wave of insecurities to blast through my body. I felt people’s eyes follow my every move as I made my way through the swollen crowd with my ever-swelling belly on full display.

“People are staring at me,” I spoke softly to Lucas, who walked beside me. His arm was draped over my shoulder, and I felt as he shifted beside me to look in the direction of Tate.

“If anyone gives you any shit, tell me and I will have them removed. Whether you like it or not, Savannah, this is your place just as much as it is mine,” Tate stated with authority beside me.

I twisted in Lucas’s arms and came face to face with Tate. Our eyes connected like magnets and I knew he had me locked in. His brilliant blue eyes were showing a command and intensity that fired a truth towards me that I had never witnessed before. My body’s instant betrayal at the sound of his ownership over me caused a scorching heat to flame deep within me, and as our eyes locked together in silent discussion, his words filtered through me with promise. The noise, people, and space around us disappeared and I was hit with the realization that he would always own me. Even if I fought for the rest of my life, I’d never win the battle.

“Come on, Sav. Let’s go to our table.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I choked out, my gaze with Tate broken as he took off towards the table in the far corner of Red Velvet. I glanced at Lucas, who stood beside me with a smug looked plastered on his face.

“You two are like a pair of horny teenagers.”