Breathless (10 page)

“Jon! Jon!”

Lainey saw a movement out of the corner of her eye and whipped her head to the side just in time to see a gold fin disappear beneath the surface. It was too big to belong to a fish. Perhaps, deep down she’d known for a while. He’d said he was far from an angel; he was a merman.

Lainey’s heart pounded as her eyes searched the water for Jon. He wouldn’t leave her without explaining. He couldn’t. She pressed her hands over her mouth as sobs threatened to escape. Nothing.

“Jon!” she called once more. “Please!”

Then she noticed movement near a large rock. Jon’s head slowly came up; his eyes closed. His bare chest nudged the rock as his gold fin floated just beneath the surface of the water. He wasn’t moving.

Lainey dove beneath the water, and swam as fast as she could against the waves. When she reached Jon’s side, she was unable to find the words to speak. She swallowed around the lump in her throat. His fin was made of golden scales and glimmered in the moonlight. It moved back and forth just below the surface and kept him afloat. Lainey wanted to touch it, but kept her hand back. His chest was going up and down quickly as he if he couldn’t catch his breath. The wound on his stomach had become a faded pink scar.

“Jon.” Lainey felt the tears rolling down her cheeks, mixing with the ocean water on her skin.

His amber eyes slowly opened, looking right at her. “I’m so sorry, Lainey.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lainey heard the tremble in her voice. “Did you not trust me?”

“Of course I trust you.”

The cold water caused Lainey to shiver. In a swift movement, Jon pushed himself up onto the rock and lifted her into his arms, putting her on top of the rock before slipping back into the water. He clung to the edge, letting her kneel above him.

“I couldn’t tell you what I was. You wouldn’t have believed me.”

“Maybe I would have. I’ve known something was different about you since you saved my life on my birthday. No one just swims around in the water, waiting to save some strange girl.”

“I did.” His words stopped her heart for a moment. “I watched you for a few days. You were testing the ocean and daring it to take you. I don’t know why, but I didn’t want that to happen to you. Lainey, I didn’t know you, but I didn’t want to lose you.”

“And you being a merman and disappearing into the sea isn’t worse? You’re going to leave me now? After everything we’ve gone through?”

Jon shook his head, lifting himself out of the water and sitting beside her on the rock. His fin dangled in the waves, keeping the scales moist. “I’m sorry, Lainey.”

“I feel like I don’t know you anymore.” Her words stabbed the salty air. “Jon, what are you?”

“I hoped it would be obvious with the fin. I’m a merman.”

“That’s not what I meant! I mean, how… how is this even possible? I thought merpeople were just a fairy tale.” Lainey crossed her arms over her chest.

Jon shook his head again. “Lain, you don’t understand. We are the lost souls, those taken from the land and given to the sea.”

“I still don’t –”

“I drowned when I was six years old,” he interrupted. “The merpeople found me and brought me to the others, giving me a second chance at life. But I’ve always thought of it as a half-life. I couldn’t remember my parents or my life on land. And I couldn’t return. I was bitter and unhappy, wishing I’d died. Until I met you, Lainey. You suffered from the same pain of loss. I wanted to save you.”

“Are you all lost souls?”

He sighed. “Not all of us are this way, but some of the merpeople are like me and once lived on land. I wish I could explain more, Lainey, but I have to go.”

“Don’t go! Please don’t leave me!” Lainey begged, grabbing his hand and pressing it to her chest over her heart. “Please, Jon.”

“I have to go, just for a little while. Wait for me, please, Lainey.” Jon put his hand on her cheek. “I’ll come to you at midnight in the moonlight. I don’t know how long it will take, but I will come for you. I promise.”

“I don’t wanna be alone again. I can’t be without you,” Lainey cried.

“I will come back.”

Jon kissed her quickly before diving back into the water and disappearing, leaving Lainey alone on the rock. She collapsed against the stone, letting herself sob as she tried to process what had just happened. She’d fallen for a merman and he was gone.

After a long while, Lainey jumped into the water and swam to the shore. Peter and Mom would be waiting for them to come home, but it would only be her. Lainey drove the block home and parked in the driveway. She slowly walked up the stairs to the house, holding the rubber duck in her hands. Lainey could see her parents through the window. They sat at the table, laughing and playing a board game. Lainey slowly pushed the door opened, dropping her purse to the floor.

“How was the rest of the fair?” Peter didn’t glance in her direction.

Lainey moved into the kitchen and got a better look at the game. They were playing Monopoly. She fell to her knees, bursting into tears.

“Lainey!” Her mom rushed to her side.

Peter knocked his glass of water to the floor as he ran over, scattering shards of glass and liquid across the floor. He wrapped his arm around her as she started to fall back. Without thinking, Lainey buried her face in his shirt. Peter cautiously embraced her and rubbed her back. “He’s gone. He’s gone.” Over and over Lainey said the same thing.

Peter didn’t ask as he pulled her tighter against him. Lainey could see Jon clearly in her mind, as he concentrated on picking the right duck. She could feel his lips against her, sweet and sticky from the cotton candy. It was too much. Lainey pushed Peter back and ran upstairs. She could hear her parents calling after her as she slammed her bedroom door and locked it. She collapsed onto the bed, not caring that she was getting her blankets wet. Peter knocked on the door a minute later.

“Lainey, what happened?”

She couldn’t tell him the truth. All she could say was, “He’s gone.”

“Please, let us in, honey,” her mom said.

Lainey didn’t answer. She couldn’t.

“Lainey?” Peter’s voice was soft.

Lainey wiped her nose on her blanket. “Just go away.”

“We can’t leave you if you’re so upset.”

Lainey knew the door wouldn’t stop them for long. She’d learned when she was five how to open her lock with a small screwdriver. Peter could do the same. Her mom wasn’t there when the door opened. Lainey had calmed down enough to sit up when he entered. He closed the door behind him, for which she was very grateful.

“Can I sit down?” Peter motioned towards the end of her bed.

Lainey nodded. She didn’t say anything as he sat beside her. She simply wrapped her arms around his waist, letting him hold her. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t her real dad; not at that moment when she just needed comforting. He’d never abandoned her like her real dad. Peter always pulled through for her.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Her voice was soft and hoarse from crying. “No. Not really.”

“Okay. I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk. I always am.”

Lainey nodded. “I know.”

“I don’t know if you do.”

She frowned at his words. “I don’t understand.”

“Lainey, you may not be my biological daughter, but you are a daughter to me. I can’t be your dad if you don’t let me, and I understand, but I will always be waiting for you if you want me. It’s not an offer I will trade or give up. I love you as if you were my child. Don’t ever forget that. You can tell me anything.”

Lainey buried herself in his shirt again and cried. There wasn’t enough left of her to contemplate what Peter had said. She didn’t have enough tears. All she wanted was Jon and he had left. Lainey didn’t know if he would ever come back to her. She couldn’t even tell him she loved him.

Lainey didn’t know when she fell asleep or when Peter moved to her chair, but she was still wearing the same damp clothes when she woke up. It was a little after six. She slowly sat up. Her bed creaked a little, causing Peter to snap his eyes open.

“I woke you.” Lainey wrapped her blanket around her shoulders.

He yawned. “It’s all right. I probably needed to get up anyway.”

“I guess.”

Peter stood and stretched, looking around Lainey’s small bedroom. He stood by her bulletin board, looking at all of the pictures of Becca and Lainey playing on the beach. His fingers touched the edges of one with the two girls sitting arm in arm.

“I took this picture. You were both giggling and so happy. I never did find out what was so funny, but you were always such a happy child. When you and Becca were together, no one could bother you because it was you and Becca against the world. You were like sisters.” Peter sighed, letting his hand fall. “If I haven’t told you, I am so sorry she was taken from you. I’m sorry people don’t stay. Life hasn’t been kind to you. But Lainey, you are the strongest young woman I’ve ever met. Yeah, it sucks and you’ve struggled, but you’ve never given up.”

“It’s too hard this time.” Lainey picked at her blanket.

“No, it’s never too hard.” Peter moved quickly, sitting down beside her on the bed. “You have your family with you. I don’t know what happened last night, but –”

“Jon left. He left, and I don’t know if he’s coming back. I love him. Without him, I’m lost.”

Peter embraced her, kissing the top of her head. “Oh, Lain.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you. Peter, you are my dad, even if I never call you dad.” Lainey let the tears flow as she put her head on his shoulder. “I do love you, Dad.”

Peter held her tight against his chest as he kissed the top of her hair. “I love you too, Lain. If you want to talk, I’ll always listen.”

Lainey nodded. “I know, but I can’t talk about it. You wouldn’t understand.”

He put his hand under her chin, forcing Lainey to look at him. “If it helps, I’ve seen the way Jon looks at you, and I think he’ll come back. A man doesn’t look at a woman like that and leave without taking her with him. I look at your mom the way Jon looks at you.”

“I hope you’re right.”

*~*~*

Lainey had nothing to say. She’d tried to keep up a fake smile, but the hole in her heart was overwhelming, and she didn’t know how to function. By day, she sat with Rachel and tried to have conversations about her life. But at night, Lainey waited by the water. She snuck out after her family went to bed and waited. Jon promised he’d return at midnight, but nothing. He was still gone.

She lay on her bed, pretending to read a book with the windows open. Her phone vibrated once beside her. If it was Peter or her mom again, Lainey was going to be extremely irritated.

Hey, can we meet up?

It was from Oliver. She groaned, sending him a quick no. Before she could put her phone down, it buzzed again.

I followed you. I saw you and him in the water. We need to talk.

Lainey bolted to a sitting position. He knew? Her hands shook so badly she almost dropped her phone. She quickly replied, asking when and where.

2 pm. At our old hang-out spot.

She responded it was okay and glanced at the alarm clock. It was a little after one in the afternoon. She’d have to shower first.

Once Lainey cleaned up, she headed downstairs. Rachel was upstairs in her room and didn’t hear her. She’d have to be quick. Her little sister wanted to accompany her everywhere since Jon left. To be sure no one bothered her, Lainey turned off her cell phone and used her old lock to chain Rachel’s bike to the post outside.

The bike ride to their old hang-out was short. Murray’s Café was the restaurant she once waitressed at with Becca. She’d still not gone back to her job. Oliver’s old blue car was parked in the lot. Lainey dropped her bike by the rack and hurried inside. She felt the panic rolling off her. He’d had witnessed what happened to Jon. Her heart pounded as her hands began to sweat. Oliver waved her over to a secluded corner booth.

“You had no right to follow us,” she hissed, not even sitting down.

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

“You are only concerned with – wait, oh.” Lainey dropped in the booth, keeping her hands tightly clenched in front of her on the table. “Why did you follow us?”