Breathless (31 page)

"I was there," Jack told her. "At every performance. I sat in the back. I would go home straight away. I couldn't bear to seeyou after the shows. Because..." he smiled, as if surprised that he was telling her thesethings. "Because everytime I would see you onstage, with all the passion and life that you brought to it, I would fall more and more in love with you. And I couldn't do that."

Charlotte felt as if someone had just stolen her breath right out of her lungs. She fell back, looking at him incredulously.

"So I would just watch you. And then I would leave," he continued. "But Charlotte," he insisted, taking her hand, "You can't stop. This is your calling. This is what you were meant to do. And you can't stop because Helen died. She would have hated that. You need to do it, not only for yourself, but for her as well."

Charlotte looked at him, biting her lip.

Jack laughed. "Oh, don't do that. I know you always do that when you're conflicted by something. But you shouldn't be. This is what you want, Charlotte."

Charlotte sighed. "But if theatre is my calling...what is yours, Jack?"

He looked at her seriously. "I still want to join the military."

Charlotte's heart wrenched. "Jack, no," she argued, her voice strong. "Helen didn't want you to..."

"Charlotte, by going to war I'm not going to just be fighting for my country. I'm going to be fighting for my mum, and for your entire family!" he countered, his eyes determined. "This is something I need to do."

"I just..." Charlotte began pitifully, tears immediately welling up in her eyes as Jack came close her her, holding her gently. "I just don't want you to leave," she cried, clutching onto him as she buried her face in his chest.

"Charlotte," he said quietly, tipping her chin up so their eyes met. "Charlotte, just as you want to perform, this is what I really want to do. And I'm hoping you'll support me in that. Will you?" he asked, although it was more of a plead.

Charlotte couldn't help herself. She nodded, and then clung to him even more tightly.

Lewis was silent for a long while after Jack finished speaking. Jack looked across the table at Charlotte with anxiety. She looked back at him sympathetically, not sure what to say, or if there was anything to say at all.

It was the first dinner they had all had together since Helen died. Mrs. Gates had made a pot roast with lots of potatoes and vegetables, but no one had eaten much. Charlotte had convinced Jack to talk to Lewis about enlisting. She knew that it would be better to tell him now than let him find out later. But as Lewis sat silently at the head of the table for such a long while, Charlotte wasn't sure if she had ruined Jack's chances of going off to war.

But then he finally spoke.

"Jack," Lewis began, rubbing his temples. "I don't like the idea of you enlisting. I was here during the Great War and I saw how it affected people, how they were never the same again. I watched others lose their loved ones, as your mother lost her brother, your namesake. It's a terrible thing, something many people don't ever recover from. But," he said, looking at Jack intensely. "I think your heart is in the right place. I think you want to go for the right reasons. So I'm going to support you in whatever you decide to do."

A grin spread over Jack's face and he looked at Charlotte excitedly.

"I don't like it," Lewis assured him. "But I can't stop you. And I won't stop you. This is your decision."

"I promise I'll be careful, Lewis. I promise I won't do anything stupid and after the war is over, I'll come right home and start at university," Jack told him adamantly, his face shining. "Thank you."

Lewis didn't reply. He cleared his throat and poured himself a glass of wine. "And you, Charlotte? What are your plans for the future?"

Charlotte looked over the table at Jack, who looked back at her expectantly. "I..." she began, thoughts swirling through her head. "I would still love to go back to France," she finally told Lewis, looking away from Jack's fallen face. "I would love to see Luc and my mother again. I would love to see Paris again. But I know it's not realistic, not right now. So for now, I'd like to stay in England with you. If that's alright..." She looked at Lewis cautiously. "Maybe perform in some shows if I get the chance..."

Lewis' face broke into a smile, brighter than Charlotte had seen it since everything had happened. "Of course that's alright, Charlotte. I wouldn't want it any other way." He poured glasses of wine for the two of them. "One of you becoming a soldier and the other performing onstage," he said with pride. He looked at each with a smile upon his face. "I could not be a prouder parent than I am now."

Charlotte felt her heart swell, hearing Lewis call her his daughter. She grinned back at him and then looked across the table at Jack, who was smiling back at her, proudly. He was glad she was staying, she could tell. She had made him happy.

Everything felt so much lighter as Charlotte climbed into bed that night. She didn't mind turning off the light or burying herself deep under the covers. Although everything had become so terrible, she had started to realize that even in the midst of all the terribleness, there were still such beauty in the world. She smiled, remembering Lewis' happiness and Jack's proud grin shining at her.

And then there was a creak at the door. Charlotte's smile only grew as she felt Jack crawl into bed with her, cupping his body around hers, feeling his warmth and his tenderness overcome her.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Charlotte smiled and took his hand. And they fell asleep that way, fingers intertwined, weakened from the tragedy, but happy together.

Charlotte sighed in content as she woke the next morning. She turned over to say, "Good morning," to Jack, but he was gone, leaving only an imprint in the sheets to prove that he had been there the night before. Charlotte sat up, brushing the hair from her face, and hit her elbow on something.

"Ow," she murmured to herself, rubbing the tender spot. But when she looked beside her to see what she had hit, her eyes widened. Laying there, in their perfect spot, was her precious stock of books all in order, as if nothing had ever happened to them. Breathless, she reached for the nearest one, throwing it open. And there were all the pages all in place, pasted back into the binding from the night she had torn them out.

Charlotte laughed happily, knowing that Jack handsome early to work on them. She bolted from her bed and began to run to his room, but not before she noticed that all of the photographs she had shut up in the draws has all been taken back out and placed around around the edges of her mirror once again. She smiled at the photographs of her and Helen dressed up at the party, at the sight of Luc's cold face in Cherbourg, at the pictures of she and Jack looking very uncomfortable standing together at the gala. How lovely it all was.

She grinned and ran across the hallway to Jack's room, throwing open the door. "Thank you, Jack!" she said happily, throwing herself into his arms as he stood at his desk. "I can't tell you what it means to me to have everything back to how it was!" She pulled away and her smile faded as she looked at him. "Why are you so dressed up?" she asked, staring at his crisp, clean shirt and pressed pants.

He smiled at her. "I'm going to enlist today."

Charlotte frowned in shock, pulling away. "Today? Why the hurry? Lewis only gave you permission last night..."

"Why should I wait?" he asked, bending to tie his shoes. "What would I be waiting for?" Charlotte's heart lurched but she knew there was nothing she could do. This was what he wanted. He straightened up. "Will you come with me?"

Charlotte frowned. "Come where?" she asked in confusion.

"To enlist," Jack replied, grabbing his wallet from the desk.

"Oh..." Charlotte said uncertainly. "I don't know, Jack..."

"Please, Char." Jack looked at her solemnly. "I'd really like you to be there with me." HIs eyes plead with her.

She sighed but nodded. "Alright. Give me a few minutes to change and get something to eat from the kitchen." He smiled gratefully at her but she could only return a small smile. It was hard to believe that this all was really happening. She didn't want to lose him yet.

She quickly changed into a light summer dress and heels and pulled her hair back from her face with a matching blue ribbon. Blue, she had learned, was Jack's favorite color.

Walking down to the kitchen, she noticed that Lewis' study door was open. She frowned. She hadn't seen it opened ever since...but now it was, and the lights on. She timidly knocked at the doorway. "Lewis?"

He looked up from his desk. "Oh, come in, Charlotte," he beckoned for her, shuffling some of the papers on his desk. "I was meaning to send for you. There was something I wanted to talk to you about."

Charlotte smiled nervously and pulled a plush chair up to his desk. "That sounds rather ominous," she confessed. She leaned her elbows on his desk, resting her chin in her hands.

Lewis looked at her, concerned. "What's wrong?"

Charlotte shrugged, but couldn't keep it from him. "Did you know that Jack was planning on enlisting today?"

Lewis smiled at her gently. "Of course. When Jack sets his mind to something, he can't think of anything else until it's done. I knew he'd go in the morning. Has he already gone?"

"No. He's waiting for me. But I'm not sure that I want to go," Charlotte confessed. "Is that terrible of me? I don't want him to go."

"But you'll still go with him, won't you?" Lewis asked her. "I'm sure he wants you there."

"I know," Charlotte sighed. "And I'll go. But this is just all moving really fast. If he enlists, one day he'll be gone, and I'll be left here doing nothing of great consequence."

Lewis smiled at her sympathetically. "For what it counts, Charlotte, I'm really glad you chose to stay in England and continue performing."

"If anyone wants to hire me for a job after this one," Charlotte corrected him.

"So I'm taking it that you don't want to continue with the run of this show?"

Charlotte shook her head. "No. It doesn't seem right without Helen. She brought so much life to it...and now that she's gone, it won't feel the same. And I couldn't do it without Wesley, either. So I suppose I'll just wait to see if something else comes up."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," Lewis said, standing and leaning against his desk, looking at Charlotte very seriously. "Helen had already booked her next show before she...before she passed away. It would mean so much to me, and I'm sure it would have meant a lot to her, if you were to consider filling the role for her." Lewis looked at her with his sad eyes. "Please, Charlotte. It would mean so much to me," he repeated.

Without even thinking, she nodded. "Of course," she agreed. "Of course I'll do it for the both of you." She hugged him. "Can I ask just one thing, though?"

"Of course."

Charlotte looked solemnly at Lewis. "I only want to do it if Wesley is cast as the male lead." Immediately sensing his hesitation, Charlotte protested. "Lewis, you know he's a good actor. Give him this chance. Please."

"I know he is, Charlotte," Lewis said. "And I'll do my best to have him cast. I can't make any promises, but I'll do my best."

"Thank you," she said, embracing him once again. "I love you," she added. It was something she didn't say nearly enough. She wasn't sure if she had ever said it to Helen, and now the weight of it burdened her. There was no time for unsaid words. She wouldn't take them for granted anymore.

Jack pulled the car to the curb and turned the ignition off. He sat back in his seat as the two of them silently surveyed the enlistment booth.

"This is it," Jack breathed, as if not quite believing it.

Charlotte nodded, looking at the line of eager, young men. "Is it everything you dreamed of?"

Jack took a moment, but then nodded. "Yes. It's even more since you're here with me." He turned and smiled at her, but his smile faded. "Are you okay?"

Charlotte sighed and looked at him. "Jack...I know I've asked you a hundred times before, but I need to ask you one last time...are you sure you want to do this?"

Jack nodded, looking at Charlotte in the eyes. "I'm positive," he told her with certainty, as if trying to convince her of what he already believed. "I need to do this, Charlotte. For Joey, for my mum, for your mum and your brother. This is my way of making things better. I have to."

His words were so final. Charlotte nodded and looked ahead. "Well," she said taking a breath, but everything felt so shaky. "If that's what you really want," she looked back at him, "then I'll forever support you in it." She gave him a small smile.

He smiled back. "Thank you, Char." He gave her hand a final squeeze before climbing out of the car and walking over to the booth. And then it was done. And Charlotte couldn't help but feel as if she had lost him already.

"It's by Thorton Wilder," Lewis told Charlotte, pouring her a glass of water. "Have you heard of it?" Charlotte shook her head.

"
Our Town?
" Jack asked, taking a serving of potatoes. "I've read it. It's an amazing piece of literature. I can't believe you secured the rights to perform it. Apparently it's going to be the next American classic."