“I don’t think
so, Kiley.” Keith gripped the doorknob. “Things are, uh, different
now.” He glanced at Tara. “I’m kind of off the market.”
He was
obviously doing a little damage control. Too bad it was too little,
too late. “Don’t turn her down on my account, Keith,” Tara said,
smiling sweetly. “You can consider our little arrangement null and
void.”
Keith winced
before closing his eyes for a brief moment. “Don’t do this.” When
Kiley seemed content to stay and listen, Keith said to her, “Have a
nice night, Kiley.” After closing the door, he leaned against it
and glared at Tara. “You want to tell me what that was about?”
He had the
nerve to pretend she should be ashamed of her actions?
Unbelievable. “I’m leaving.” Tara stormed down the hall to the
guest bedroom.
“Like hell you
are!” he shouted.
He was
dictating to her as if he had the right! He’d gone too far. After
throwing her clothes into a cheap suitcase she’d bought, she went
into the bathroom to collect her toiletries.
Keith slammed
and locked the bedroom door.
As though that
would stop her from leaving. He couldn’t keep her there against her
will.
He stood in the
doorway of the bathroom, effectively blocking her path. “Talk to
me. I know you can’t be pissed just because my interior designer
stopped by to drop off a vase. What the hell did she say?”
It was too
humiliating to recap. “Just tell me one thing. Did you sleep with
her?” Tara knew if they’d been intimate, the rest of the woman’s
claims were likely true. They were too eerily reminiscent of the
lines he’d used on her to be a lie.
“What does that
matter?” he asked, scowling. “Have I asked you to name all the men
you’ve slept with? The past is the past, Tara. Can’t we leave it at
that?”
He might as
well have admitted it. “Did you tell her she was special? That
you’d never met anyone like her?”
Keith rolled
his eyes. “How can you expect me to remember everything I said to
her? I may have said something like that, but—”
She pushed past
him. “Don’t say anything else. Please. You’re just making it
worse.” Tara knew she didn’t have the right to feel so upset or
hurt. They hadn’t even slept together, but his promises of what
could happen were suddenly more real to her than actually making
love with any other man had been.
“Damn it,
you’re not leaving,” Keith said, following her into the bedroom.
“Not like this.” He reached for her bag, but she pulled harder,
wrenching it out of his grasp.
“Who are you to
tell me what I can and can’t do?” she shouted.
“I’m the guy
who loves you!”
Tara dropped
the bag, too stunned to speak.
Stepping
closer, he whispered, “I love you, baby. Not a woman alive can
honestly claim I’ve said that to them.” Reaching for her hand, he
sat on the foot of the bed and tugged her down beside him.
“Keith…I…” She
didn’t know what she wanted to say or hear. It wasn’t possible. He
couldn’t love her. Could he?
“Sssh…” He
linked their hands and looked at them. “I just need to say this,
Tara. If you don’t believe me, I know there’s nothing more I can do
to convince you, but I need to say this.”
Tara held her
breath. She wouldn’t try to stop him. She needed to hear it as much
as he needed to say it. “Go on.”
“I’ve done and
said a lot of stupid things. I slept with girls I didn’t love or
even care about. I’m not proud to admit that. Did I tell a few of
them they were special? Sure. Did I think they were? Maybe, at the
time. Haven’t you ever said something to someone you were in a
relationship with that you meant at the time only to realize later
you’d been too invested in the outcome to think rationally at that
moment?”
She thought of
all the mistakes she’d made and time she wasted with Biagio. “Sure,
I guess.” She’d never claimed to be perfect, but wasn’t that what
she was expecting of Keith? Maybe she had judged him too
harshly.
“That’s what I
did with Kiley. I said what she wanted to hear because…” He
shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe I wanted to believe it. Maybe I was
trying to convince myself that she was special. She had everything
any guy in his right mind would want, so it kind of made me wonder
what was wrong with me if she wasn’t doing it for me. You know what
I mean?”
Tara hated to
admit it, but she sort of understood. “I guess.”
He brought
their linked hands to his lips and kissed hers. “I’m sorry if she
hurt you or made you doubt the way I feel about you, but trust me,
she doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know what’s in my heart. I’d like
to believe you do.”
Tara wanted to
believe that too, but a part of her still hung onto fear. She was
afraid to take the leap in case the parachute he was offering
refused to open and she ended up crash landing.
“You’re the
only one who can decide whether you’re willing to take a chance on
me, Tara. I’m not saying you have to decide now. Take all the time
you need. If you tell me there’s a chance for us, I’ll wait as long
as it takes, do whatever it takes to convince you that what I feel
for you is the real deal.”
Tara stared
into Keith’s eyes, trying to decide what to do. She felt as though
she was at a fork in the road. If she went left, she could count on
emotional safety, but she would be alone. If she took a right turn,
she’d take a risk, but she could wind up with the man of her
dreams.
“I went
upstairs to tell Ava and my brother to back off and let us make our
own decisions,” he said quietly.
“That couldn’t
have gone well.”
“It didn’t, but
I had to take a stand. No way am I gonna let them mess this up for
us.”
He’d risked his
relationship with his brother for a chance with her. If he was
willing to take that kind of risk, so was she. “Did they agree to
back off?”
“They don’t
have a choice.” He rubbed his thumb over her wrist. “Brent can find
himself another right hand if he refuses to back off.”
“Are you
serious?” Tara couldn’t believe he’d been willing to give up not
only his relationship with his brother, but his career, just for a
chance with her.
“Dead
serious.”
Without
thinking about the consequences, Tara stood up and reached for the
belt around her robe.
“What are you
doing?” he asked.
“You put your
faith in us,” she whispered, letting the bathrobe fall. “It’s time
for me to do the same.”
***
Keith knew he
had to breathe, but he couldn’t remember how. Not with the woman of
his dreams standing before him, offering to obliterate his memory
of every woman who’d come before her. In that moment, she was the
only one. His first. His last. His only lover.
“We don’t have
to do this… if you’re not ready.” He prayed she was. He’d been
ready for her for longer than he’d realized.
Forever.
“I’m
ready.”
“So am I.” He
reached for her waist to draw her closer. He placed feather-light
kisses on the undersides of her breasts as she trembled. “I’m ready
to love you. To be with you. Only you. You’re all that matters to
me, baby.” He was going way out on a limb alone, but he didn’t care
how long it took her to join him. He would wait for her.
“Keith,” she
murmured, resting her hands on his shoulders. When he closed his
mouth around her nipple, she tipped her head back. “Oh… yes.”
He became
fixated on her pleasure, listening carefully for every hitch in her
breathing as his mouth moved over her soft skin, mapping a trail of
her pleasure points.
“Please,” she
whispered.
Keith turned
her around so the mattress was at her back, and he eased her down.
He allowed her feet to remain on the ground as he fell to his
knees, intent on worshiping her. He wanted their first time to be
everything she’d never had.
“Keith.”
Just the sound
of his name on her lips took him into a trance-like state. He
wanted to hear it over and over again.
Hypnotic.
That’s how
being with her felt. His subconscious guided his mouth, his mind,
and his body as though it knew what she needed… and what he needed
to give her to make her fall in love with him.
Her release
moved through him too. He felt it soul deep in a way he’d never
experienced a woman’s pleasure. His mouth moved up her body slowly.
He memorized every soft inch of the body he just knew he was going
to enjoy for years to come.
When they were
face-to-face, he hovered over her and smiled when he saw the look
of wonder in her eyes. She seemed as awed by their connection as he
was. He would never take it for granted because he’d never expected
to find it.
Kissing her
slowly opened the floodgates. Once again, she was riding the crest,
hovering between desperation and completion, as she grinded against
him, intent on hitting the spot that would take her where she
needed to go.
Keith gladly
satisfied her in every way he could. He used his mouth and the
friction between them to give her what she needed. By the time her
nails dug into his shoulders, she was tearing her mouth away from
his, crying out and burying her face in his neck.
He chuckled as
he kissed her cheek. “I don’t know who enjoyed that more: you or
me.”
“I need you
inside me now,” she whispered, drawing his earlobe into her mouth.
“Please.”
She didn’t have
to ask him twice. He’d been counting down the seconds until he
could finally realize that fantasy. He made quick work of shedding
his clothes and finding protection before resuming his
position.
Her eyes were
still glazed, her cheeks were flushed, and her hair was tousled.
She looked well-loved, and he wanted to see her that way every day.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered as he lost himself in her.
“Ahhhh….”
Grazing his shoulder with her teeth, she moaned. “That feels
incredible.”
“Too
incredible.” He tried to hold back as she gripped him in the
clutches of the only Heaven he’d ever experienced. He’d had sex
plenty of times, but joining their bodies felt almost ethereal. He
had an eerie sense that he’d experienced that feeling before. Never
with another woman. Only in his dreams.
This is what perfection
feels like, what making love means. Giving your heart, body and
soul, to someone else.
He couldn’t
move for several seconds. He wanted their first time to last
forever, and he knew if he didn’t gain control, it wouldn’t.
“It’s okay.”
She ran her hands through his hair. “I won’t break.”
He smiled at
her, loving her even more. “No, but I might.” Knowing the
inevitable was only a heartbeat away, he gave himself over,
allowing his body to lead him in the familiar, yet unfamiliar
rhythm. Nothing was predictable with her. Every experience was new
and different, and beyond anything he felt he deserved.
“Yessss…” She
threw her head back, surrendering.
Keith couldn’t
have held back another second even if he wanted to. It was like a
tidal wave, rushing over and through them, taking them down before
receding and allowing them to come up for air.
“Jesus, girl,”
he said between deep breaths. “Are you trying to do me in, or
what?”
“I was just
about to ask you the same question. Once maybe…” She smacked his
bottom as he got up. “Three times? Never.”
He grinned over
his shoulder as he made his way into the bathroom. “Get used to it,
baby.”
Tara was curled up in
Keith’s arms, on the verge of falling asleep, when he said, “I
don’t want you to save for a new place. Stay here with me.”
Falling into a
comfortable routine with him, living in his posh condo, dining at
the finest restaurants, falling asleep and waking up in his strong
arms was tempting, but if it didn’t work out, she would have that
much further to fall. “I don’t want to rush this, Keith. Let’s just
take our time, see where it goes.”
He tensed up,
the abdominal muscles under her hand clenching. “I already know
where this is going. I thought we were on the same page.”
She didn’t want
to hurt him, but she refused to jump into a relationship she wasn’t
ready for. He’d said he
loved
her. She suspected she felt
the same way, but it was too soon to know for sure. “I’m crazy
about you, you know that.”
“Let’s just
agree to a trial run—”
“I’m used to
having my own place, being independent.” Giving up that freedom
terrified her.
His arms
tightened as though he thought if he held her tighter, he could
prevent her from slipping away. “You could get your student loans
paid off in no time if you didn’t have to worry about living
expenses.”
That would be
incredible, but she wouldn’t even consider living off him. The
maintenance fees alone in a building like his were probably more
than her monthly rent and utilities combined. She couldn’t afford
to contribute much if she lived with Keith. “That’s not gonna
happen, sorry.” She tried to sit up, but he pulled closer so that
his chest was against her back.
“Give me one
good reason.”
“We’re still
getting to know each other.”
“We’ve known
each other for years. Try again.”
She knew he
wasn’t going to let it go without a fight. She didn’t want to
argue, but she wouldn’t back down either. If they were going to
have a relationship, she expected to be his equal partner. “We
haven’t seen each other or spoken regularly in a long time. We’ve
both changed a lot since college. Our lives have moved in totally
different directions.”
“I know
everything I need to know.” He kissed her shoulder. “I know how I
feel about you. That’s the only thing that matters.”