Breeze of Life (25 page)

I glanced down at the crumpled piece of paper in my hand. I don’t know when Bree had snuck it into my bag but I found it two days after leaving Sydney.

I folded the letter and tucked it back in my pocket. I carried it everywhere with me, another reminder of the love I had been gifted. I dared a quick glance to the beautifully polished coffin that sat before the congregation. As she had wished, it was adorned with yellow balloons instead of flowers. So far the ceremony had been filled with music interrupted by speeches and prayers. My gaze moved to the left of the coffin and settled on her. So small and fragile and hanging on by a thread, my Breeze had been dreading this for the last two days. We had made it back in time to see Mia before she slipped into unconsciousness. It had been the hardest thing I had ever had to witness. I stood in that hospital room holding Bree like I knew she needed me to. I needed to feel her in my arms more than ever in that moment. This could have been her and I had been horribly racked with guilt over the relief I had felt knowing my Breeze would live while innocent little Mia slipped quietly away. Her family that I had eaten with, hung out with, surfed with; they broke right there before me. Jack had taken the year off to be with his family and I watched his tears fall as he grieved for a little sister who he would never tease, play with or hug again. Mia had gone to her Pink concert and they had even managed to stay a week in Seal Rocks before Bree and I had to leave for Teahupoo. Mia had been weak and tired the whole time they had been away and Bree had confessed how scared she was to leave in case something happened. As Bree feared, Mia took a quick and drastic turn for the worse, and now, here, under the bright sun of a warm winter’s day, we laid Mia to rest. Bree shifted nervously on the chair before the congregation, her guitar held almost lovingly in her arms. Her eyes held mine trying desperately to find the extra strength she needed to do this. My baby girl needed me and I would be damned if I would let her down. I sat a little straighter and gave her a subtle nod. Sure I wanted to lose my shit right now, but Breeze needed me strong, and for her I could be anything. Her eyes still locked with mine as she began to strum her guitar. Pink’s
Beam Me Up
filled the church.

As she sang out the end of the song, I could see the tears falling from her beautiful eyes and there wasn’t a chance in hell I could hold back any longer. One lone tear escaped and fell in a lonely splatter against my suit jacket. Bree stood and quickly made her way towards me, her eyes still having never left mine. The church was now filled with gentle sobs. Mia had asked for smiles at her funeral, but it was hard when someone, who obviously meant so much to so many, would no longer be in their lives. Bree and Mia had bonded immediately, their friendship fierce and loyal. Mia’s death had been hard on Bree and I had every intention of taking as much time off the tour as she needed to be with her, to be there for my friend, Jack, and his grieving family. I didn’t care about rankings or money right now, all I cared about was being here for Breeze. Being her shoulder to cry on, taking care of her, holding her. As she sunk into the pew beside me, I wrapped her in my arms and she cried silent tears into my chest. This could have been me saying goodbye to my Breeze. Hell, it still could be one day. Bree’s specialist had assured us her results were excellent but reoccurrence of cancer cells would always be a possibility. She could still be so easily snatched away from me. We didn’t allow that knowledge to occupy our every waking moment; instead we lived every day like it was an adventure. Not one morning had passed where I didn’t wake with Bree in my arms. Not one night had slipped by where she didn’t fall asleep curled around my body, and not one second went by where I wasn’t grateful for the time I had been gifted with my Breeze. 

Once the funeral was over, we made our way back to Mia’s family home where Bree kept herself busy in the kitchen helping keep the endless cycle of food appear. Even though grief was evident in the eyes of everyone who passed over the doorstep this day, everyone managed a smile for Mia. She had been a bright shining light, a beacon of hope amongst the dark backdrop of cancer. Her family would never live a moment where Mia didn’t enter their thoughts. There wouldn’t be a day where my thoughts didn’t stray to the effervescent little bundle who unapologetically told it how it was. She was bold, sassy and fun; surely the universe would mourn such loss.

Later that night I watched Breeze as she tidied the kitchen, her eyes still puffy and red from crying, her movements slow and despondent. I knew she needed to grieve for the loss of her friend, but I couldn’t deny the need to take care of her and try to take some of the weight from her shoulders. Her hair had grown to hang at her shoulders now and she never wore it up. She had missed it too much. She had put on a little more weight and her beautiful breasts had even returned to the most perfect ‘C’ cups I had ever seen. To be honest, I didn’t care when they were smaller, I had never been able to keep my eyes off them and now I had a damn hard time keeping my hands off them too. Even in grief she was simply stunning. I had taken her to Hawaii last year for Pipeline. I had won and it seemed fitting that she was there for the last round of the year. I slipped into second place and pocketed a tidy little sum. It also guaranteed my contract with Ripcurl for another year. Upon returning home I kept my promise and gave Breeze two whole days of servitude for the swearing deal we had made on the road. It wasn’t exactly servitude though, I enjoyed taking care of her too much for it to be a form of punishment. And when she decided to tie me up with one of my belts in the bedroom, well hell, I was officially swearing like a trooper for eternity. I glanced down at the friendship band I still wore, I never took the fucker off. Even though our friendship had been forged years ago, this band around my wrist marked a new beginning for us, the start of our forever.

Flicking off the TV, I carefully picked up a very sleepy Moo off my lap. Little ankle biter would only go to sleep with someone petting her. I had argued her presence in our house, in our bed for fuck’s sake, yet here I was patting her and being obsessively careful not to wake her as I moved her to the couch.  It was George’s fault, he took care of her while we were away and he spoilt her rotten, and now she expected it regardless of whose care she was under. I booted up the computer and found the song I was after.  Clicking on the surround sound speakers, I dimmed the lights and stood in the center of our enormous living area. We had only been living in the new house for two months and we had been away most of that time. It was a massive home, splayed out over four acres of bush land. We had our very own stream that ran right through our back yard and a fucking amazing pool nestled amongst thick palm trees. It was like a tropical oasis. I loved this house, it was home and having Breeze here with me made it all the more perfect.

Tony Bennett’s version of
The Way You Look Tonight
filled the air. Bree immediately glanced my way and the love and appreciation I saw in that gaze almost floored me. Strolling towards her I gently ran the backs of my fingers down her cheek as I pulled her into my arms and began to sway.

“One more never that I needed to cross off,” I whispered in her ear.

“Slow dance with a girl,” she murmured, remembering the last never from our road trip list. I was going to sit her down tomorrow and write a new list. I still had plenty of nevers I wanted to experience with her. We moved slowly under the gentle lights of our house, our home. Content couldn’t begin to describe how I felt here with Bree in my arms. I wasn’t one of those men who couldn’t admit the girl by his side was the air he breathed. Breeze was my girl and I lived for her, she was my ‘breeze of life’. I brought her hand to my lips and kissed the back of her fingers, then turned her hand over and pressed a kiss to the tattoo on the inside of her wrist—a tree of life, identical to mine, only smaller, and under it was my name.  It had blown me away the first time I had seen it, filled me with a senseless possessive pride to see my name branded on her in such a way. It was better than a wedding ring which I would put on her finger one day soon. I sang to her and every word was an honest caress to the love I felt.

When I noticed the wetness on her cheeks, I pulled back to glance down at her. I expected to find grief and pain, but instead I found nothing but humbling, staggering love. Her smile was breathtaking, her eyes glistened with tears and I knew there wasn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for this girl. She had become mine fourteen years ago, my heart had simply accepted her and hers had accepted mine. No matter what our future held, a long life, a short life, I knew that we would be together forever. I would be with Breeze in this life, the next and beyond, because true love is endless and when two soul mates come together it is for eternity. As the song finished, the room filled with the sound of Bruno Mars’s
Count On Me
, and I gave her what she called my panty-dropping grin. I spun her in my arms and danced her around the room. The laughter that spilt from her lips was a balm to my soul. Her grief would not disappear overnight, her fears would sometimes reappear and that smile would occasionally dim, but I would weather all the storms with her. After all, Breeze was my everything. My past, present, future and always.

The End

I can’t imagine a single life that hasn’t been touched by cancer in some way, whether directly or indirectly. It is the evil of the medical world that affects all walks of life, all socioeconomics, all makes, creeds and religions; it is universal in its power of destruction.

To those of you fighting your own battle right now, I offer you my strength to continue fighting.

To those whose loved ones have moved on to a place without pain, without medication, without disease, to those who remain behind, I offer you my strength and courage to live a life worthy of those whose life was cut short.

Kirsty Dallas - XOX

Playlist

Avril Lavigne – Wish You Were Here

Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit

Glee Cast – I Feel Pretty/Unpretty

Flo Rida – Good Feeling

Pink – So What

Tom Cochrane – Life is a Highway

Green Day – Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)

Cat Stevens – Wild World

Neil Young – Heart of Gold

Steppenwolf – Magic Carpet Ride

Kid Rock – All Summer Long

Bob Marley – One Love

Train – Hey, Soul Sister

Lady Antebellum – I Need You Now

Beyoncé – Love On Top

Pink – Bad Influence

Jewel – You Were Meant For Me

Pink – Beam Me Up

Tony Bennett – The Way You Look Tonight

Bruno Mars – Count On Me

Acknowledgements

First of all, thank you to my family, they are my biggest cheer squad and are with me every step of the way. Thank you to Dr. Leo Marneros for your medical knowledge and patience. Much love to you and your family. Thanks to Kara at Z&Me for the head wrap on my cover model (
www.zandme.com.au
) and Cody Keepa for helping me understand the true soul of a surfer; my soul never accepted the waves beyond a learning capacity—I was too chicken-shit.

Thanks to my Beta Team WP, my always honest and reliable manager, Kylie, and my lady-of-literature, Ami Johnson. Though I am hesitant to share her, you can find her here for all your editing needs at
www.aldjediting.net
Thank you to my cover models Mandy Boyce and my oh-so humble cousin Raymond. Thanks also for the poetry help, Mandy, you are truly a treasure.

Thanks to my blogger besties who continue to spread the Kirsty Dallas love. A Love Affair with Books (Desiree!!! My favourite stalkers, Jennifer and Trinity), Bookslapped (Rachel and Jessica), Fab Fun and Tantalizing Reads, The Reading Vixens (Bethany and Kate), A is for alpha B is for Books (Jess), Blushing Reader, TotallyBooked, Can’t Read Just One, Sarah’s Book Blog, Natasha is A Book Junkie, My Fictional Boyfriend & Book Whore Page. There are just too many to mention, but you crazy peeps rock the Indie Author’s world... Thank you and keep spreading the book geek love.

Thank you to my best friend, Andrew. We’ve been best friends since we were in nappies. We’ve been there for each other always, lived through all the trials and tribulations life throws at you and came out the other end with an unbreakable bond. NO, I would never kiss him, because that would seriously be weird… But the bond we have helped me write this book. Thank you Andy, for everything, XO.

And lastly, thank you to all the readers. I hope the world of Breeze and Harper that I have created draws you in and leaves you with contented bliss…

About the Author

I'm just a little Aussie girl with a big imagination, so much to write and so little time to do it. When I'm not writing (or reading) I am kept smiling and sane (for the most part) by my 5 year old daughter. She is the light in my world.  I have a wonderfully supportive family who keep me completely grounded, trust me, they will never let any success go to my head!!  And I love them for it.