Brian Friel Plays 1 (28 page)

Authors: Brian Friel

MIRIAM
:
(
Finishing ice cream
.) That was good. Does she feed you well?

HELEN
:
Very well.

TINA
:
And her four cats and her seventeen canaries and her son, a medical student.

MIRIAM
:
How do you know all that?

TINA
:
We write occasionally.

MIRIAM
:
If the Donnellys get a card at Christmas they feel honoured.

HELEN
:
We’re finished with cats and canaries and we’re into Pekinese dogs now. And the son’s a successful young doctor –

TINA
:
Jean.

HELEN
:
Jean – with a large practice. And the confidential stories
she insists on telling me about him and his private life and his patients – I can’t stop her.

TINA
:
Is he handsome?

HELEN
:
In a way.

MIRIAM
:
Well?

HELEN
:
And married.

MIRIAM
:
Bugger him – that’s him scrubbed. Oh, isn’t that just perfect.

(
TINA
and
MIRIAM
stretch
out
in
the
sun.
HELEN
sits upright.)

TINA
:
It’s almost too hot for me.

MIRIAM
:
Don’t know when I sunbathed last.

TINA
:
Glorious.

MIRIAM
:
We’ll come out in blisters.

TINA
:
Yes, nurse.

MIRIAM
:
Any olive oil in the house?

TINA
:
Kitchen.

MIRIAM
:
Where?

TINA
:
Bottom press.

MIRIAM
:
I suppose you wouldn’t go for it?

TINA
:
Too lazy.

MIRIAM
:
Me, too. God, the big snout’ll be like a beacon.

(
TINA
laughs
.)

We get one hot day every five years and it goes to our heads.

Oh, perfect – perfect –

(
HELEN
looks
at
them
for
a
few
seconds.
Then,
very
suddenly,
she
goes
down
to
SIR
.
Addresses
him
in
urgent
undertones
.)

HELEN
:
It’s not right! It’s not right!

SIR
:
Yes, it is.

HELEN
:
No, it’s not. It’s distorted – inaccurate.

SIR
:
I would tell you. Trust me.

HELEN
:
The whole atmosphere – three sisters, relaxed, happy, chatting in their father’s garden on a sunny afternoon. There was unease – I
remember
–
there were shadows – we’ve got to acknowledge them!

SIR
:
Why?

HELEN
:
Because they were part of it.

SIR
:
Don’t you think they’re aware of them? They’re thinking the very same thing themselves.

(
HELEN
looks
up
at
her
sisters
.)

Believe me – it’s exactly right. (
Pause
.) Go on – join them again.

(
HELEN
goes
back.
Stands
looking
at
them
.)

TINA
:
(
Her eyes closed
) Do you have to go back tomorrow?

HELEN
:
Afraid so.

TINA
:
Hardly worth your while for one night, was it?

HELEN
:
I’ve paid my respects to the Commandant.

TINA
:
When you phoned you were coming he was really thrilled.

HELEN
:
And I saw you two, didn’t I?

MIRIAM
:
A sight that has driven strong men to distraction. (
She
sits up
.) God, that’s too much for me. And you met our new stepmother.

TINA
:
(
Sitting up
) And she liked her – didn’t you, Helen? So there!

MIRIAM
:
So what?

TINA
:
So she thinks she’s beautiful – that’s what. And so do I.

MIRIAM
:
All I ever said –

HELEN
:
Shhh!

MIRIAM
:
Damn the hair I care if she hears me or not. I just think she’s far too young for him and that the quiet of this backwater’ll drive her bonkers. You and her and a batman running this house – I mean what the hell do you
do
all day?

TINA
:
She loves Ballybeg – she told me.

MIRIAM
:
As for himself, you’d hardly describe him as a court jester, would you? I mean he’s set in his ways and damned selfish and bossy and –

TINA
:
Selfish? After the way he nursed Mammy for years?

MIRIAM
:
So well he might.

TINA
:
What does that mean?

HELEN
:
Will you both keep your voices down!

TINA
:
(
To
HELEN
) What does she mean by that?

MIRIAM
:
That this bloody wet hole ruined her health and that he wouldn’t accept a transfer – always waiting for the big
promotion that would be worthy of him and that never came. Clonmel, Templemore, Mullingar, Kilkenny – they all came up at different times and he wangled his way out of them – not important enough for Commandant Butler. Well, he’ll probably get what he wants as a result of this ballyhoo and I wish him luck – I really do – himself and his child bride, I’d strip in a minute, only those Sharkey stallions would be sure to be peeping over that hedge.

TINA
:
What any of us thinks isn’t important. What is important is that he loves her and she loves him.

MIRIAM
:
Mother of God! Would you grow up, child.

TINA
:
And they’re perfectly happy together.

MIRIAM
:
Married for five months and out of that they’ve been together all of what? – ten days?

TINA
:
Amn’t I right, Helen?

MIRIAM
:
Unless the daily love letters count – do they?

TINA
:
Amn’t I right, Helen?

MIRIAM
:
How would she know? She’s a stranger here.

(
Suddenly
sorry, she jumps up and kisses
HELEN
.) Sorry, sorry sweetie – I didn’t mean that. Really. I’m a coarse bitch. Always was. You know that. Sorry. (
She
sits down again
.) As mother used to say – (
Grand
accent
) ‘Miriam, you’re neither a Butler nor a Hogan. I’m afraid you’re just – pure Ballybeg.’

(
HELEN
and
TINA
laugh.
MIRIAM
closes
eyes
again
.)

Not a day passes but I thank God for that eejit, Charlie Donnelly.

(
Military music in the distance – the same piece as before
.)

She always called him ‘Charles’. But I think she liked him.

TINA
:
Of course she did.

MIRIAM
:
But how could she? Maybe because his Uncle Mickey was land steward to the Duke of Abercorn.

(
They
listen to the
music
.
MIRIAM
hums with it
.)

TINA
:
I suppose you never hear from your Gerald, Helen?

HELEN
:
‘My’ Gerald?

TINA
:
Gerald, then.

HELEN
:
No.

(
MIRIAM
sits up
.)

MIRIAM
:
I hope to God the kids have the sense to have on their sun hats.

TINA
:
And no idea where he is?

HELEN
:
None.

(
HELEN
rises
and
gathers
her
flowers
.)

MIRIAM
:
Wouldn’t you think that aul’ band would have a second tune!

TINA
:
Daddy said someone saw him recently in Liverpool.

HELEN
:
Really.

MIRIAM
:
Should be called the Only One Army Band.

TINA
:
Whoever it was said he had a beard.

HELEN
:
They go so limp in the sun, don’t they?

TINA
:
Do you ever think of him at all, Helen?

(
HELEN
passes
TINA
on her way into the living-room; as
before,
she
hugs
her
briefly,
only
this
time
almost
shaking
her.
As
she
hugs
her
:)

HELEN
:
For God’s sake, Tina darling, will you –

MIRIAM
:
Oh, smart, smart, smart!

TINA
:
I thought she might like to –

MIRIAM
:
You thought! (
Calmer
) Come on – we’d better get Pop’s duds laid out for him. (
She
sings the military music
loudly
as
she
gathers
the
plates.
She
and
TINA
go
into
the
living-room
.
HELEN
is putting the flowers in water
.) Be marvellous, wouldn’t it, if you turned a nice golden colour like those women in the travel brochures? God, aul’ Charlie’d go off the head altogether! (
To
TINA
) Are his black shoes ready?

TINA
:
Not yet.

MIRIAM
:
I’ll do them and you do the suit – okay? (
To
HELEN
) The years may have passed but we’re still Daddy’s little beavers!

TINA
:
(
To
HELEN
–
in
apology
) Helen, I – I’m –

MIRIAM
:
(
Catching her arm
) Get me the shoe polish, duckie, will you? You keep changing where you keep things in this damned house.

(
MIRIAM
polishes
the
shoes.
TINA
presses
the
suit.
HELEN
goes
out
to
the
garden.
FRANK
enters
by
front
door.
Dressed
in
commandant’s
UN
uniform.
Carrying
two
bottles.
He
pauses
in
the
hall,
looks
up
the
stairs,
calls
gently
.)

FRANK
:
Anna?

SIR
:
‘Commandant Frank Butler.’

FRANK
:
Anna?

SIR
:
‘Twelve months ago a widower, commandant of a remote barracks, surrendering hope. Today a young wife, the Hero of Hari, and certain promotion.’ (
To
FRANK
) ‘Outstanding courage and selflessness’ – is that accurate?

(
FRANK
shrugs
.)

SIR
:
You’re nervous.

FRANK
:
Yes.

SIR
:
Of what?

FRANK
:
I don’t know.

SIR
:
Can it be to do with Anna?

FRANK
:
Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. With myself. I’m jittery for some reason.

SIR
:
That’s understandable.

FRANK
:
And unhappy. Suddenly unhappy. Profoundly unhappy.

SIR
:
It’s the tension.

FRANK
:
Yes?

SIR
:
And all the fuss. All those people.