Brian Friel Plays 2 (26 page)

Pavel
So this is how Nihilists betray hospitality.

Fenichka
(
jumping
to
her
feet
and
moving
towards
Pavel
) There is nothing, Pavel Petrovich – I swear before God – there is nothing at all – (
She
rushes
off
.)

Bazarov
Fenichka, your flowers – (
He
begins
to
pick
them
up
.)

Pavel
What are your views on duelling, Monsieur Bazarov?

Bazarov
Sorry?

Pavel
I said what are your views on duelling?

Bazarov
I have no ‘views’ on duelling.

Pavel
Would you accept that it is a method by which gentlemen can settle their differences?

Bazarov
I think it’s just another method of killing – or being killed.

Pavel
But if you were insulted you would demand satisfaction?

Bazarov
I don’t know. Maybe. I suppose so.

Pavel
Excellent.

Bazarov
has
now
gathered
the
scattered
flowers
and
for
the
first
time
faces
Pavel.

Bazarov
What’s all this about?

Pavel
I wish to fight you.

Bazarov
now
realizes
that
Pavel
is
deadly
serious.

Bazarov
A duel? You want to fight a duel with me?!

Pavel
Tomorrow morning at six.

Bazarov
You’re not serious!

Pavel
Behind the birch plantation.

Bazarov
But – but – but why would you want to fight with me?

Pavel
It is sufficient for you to know that I despise you – indeed, I detest you.

Bazarov
But that’s no reason to
fight,
Pavel Petrovich!

Pavel
raises
his
walking-stick
as
if
to
strike
Bazarov.

Pavel
If you wish I’ll give you a more immediate reason.

Bazarov
You’re serious! Good God, the man’s serious!

Pavel
We will use pistols at a distance of ten paces.

Bazarov
I can’t shoot.

Pavel
Every gentleman can shoot.

Bazarov
I haven’t got a pistol.

Pavel
We will use my pistols.

Bazarov
I’m not taking part in this, Pavel.

Pavel
We will dispense with seconds. I’ll get Piotr to act as witness.

Bazarov
Why are you doing this? What is this all –?

Pavel
Nobody else need be involved. Tomorrow morning at six, then.

Bazarov
Good God Almighty! What in Christ’s name is the – (
He
stops
suddenly
because
he
suddenly
knows
the
reason
for
the
challenge
.)
You’re jealous, Pavel Petrovich! You saw me kissing Fenichka and you thought –

Pavel
Behind the birch plantation. Be there. (
He
moves
away.
)

Nikolai
appears
on
the
veranda.
Neither
Pavel
nor
Bazarov
sees
him
nor
hears
him.

Nikolai
Ah, Pavel. We should both go and have a word with –

Bazarov
That’s it! Of course! You’re jealous, Pavel Petrovich! You’re jealous because you’re in love with Fenichka! Oh, my God! (
remembering
his
duel
) Oh, my God …

Nikolai
retreats
into
the
living-room.
Bazarov
drops
into
a
seat.

Prokofyich
Get a move on, Dunyasha. Don’t spend all morning picking up a few dishes.

Dunyasha
(
sotto
voce
)
Shut up, you old get.

Prokofyich
I’m talking to you, miss.

Dunyasha
(
sotto
voce
)
Bugger off.

Prokofyich
The guest room is empty – at last. Change the sheets and the pillowcases and sweep the place out thoroughly.

Dunyasha
Have I your permission to finish this job first, Prokofyich, sir?

Prokofyich
We’ll do without your lip, missy. Then take the mattress and the floor mats and leave them out in the sun for the rest of the day. Maybe they should be fumigated. (
to
Piotr
who
has
entered
with
another
case
) Come on, boy! Move! Move! Move! The sooner this house gets back to normal the better.

Prokofyich
goes
back
into
the
house.
Piotr
leaves
his
case
beside
the
first
and
goes
downstage
to
join
Dunyasha.
All
the
assurance,
all
the
perkiness
is
gone.
He
is
thoroughly
wretched.
He
has
to
tell
his
story
to
somebody.
Dunyasha
does
not
want
to
listen
–
she
has
her
own
grief.
He
holds
out
his
hands.
They
are
trembling.

Piotr
Look, Dunyasha – look – look – I can’t stop them – look. And my whole body feels as if it’s trembling, too. Give me your hand – put it there (
his
heart
)
– it’s galloping like a bloody horse; and about every ten minutes or so it stops – dead.

She
ignores
him
and
continues
working
and
snivelling.

Dunyasha
Get out of my road, will you!

Piotr
What – what – what’s that?

Dunyasha
You’re in my way, Piotr!

Piotr
(
almost
in
tears
) I don’t hear a word you’re saying, Dunyasha. As true as God’s above. I’m as deaf as a post.

Dunyasha
So you’ve told me.

Piotr
What happened was this –

Dunyasha
I don’t want to hear about it.

Piotr
Yevgeny was about there and I was about here and the Tailor’s Dummy was about there – (
His
hands
tremble
.) – look! – didn’t I tell you – there! – there! – there! God, the sight of this is going to break my mammy’s heart. Anyway, Yevgeny and the Tailor’s Dummy had their backs to one another; and just when they were about to turn to face each other, Yevgeny called me to him and he whispered, ‘How do you cock a gun, Piotr?’ and the sweat’s standing out on his forehead and he’s holding the gun like this and his eyes are half-shut and he’s facing the other way. ‘How do you cock a gun?’ – for Christ’s sake! And I’m standing as close to him as I am to you now and I reach over to pull the hammer back and he sort of turns towards me and whatever messing we’re both at, suddenly, suddenly there’s this huge explosion right beside my cheek –

Prokofyich
(
on
the
veranda
)
Piotr!

Piotr
– and I thought, my God, I thought, he’s blown my head off –

Dunyasha
You’re wanted, Piotr.

Piotr
– because I fell to the ground and I could hear nothing and see nothing and feel nothing. And then the
smoke cleared and there, lying across a fallen birch tree, there’s –

Prokofyich
has
come
up
behind
Piotr
and
now
grips
him
by
the
arm.

Prokofyich
Are you a guest here, boy?

Piotr
What’s that, Prokofyich? I think my drums are ruptured.

Prokofyich
(
very
loudly
into
his
face
) Can you hear me now, Piotr?

Piotr
Shouting’s no help, Prokofyich.

Prokofyich
If you don’t get back to work at once – at once! – I’ll rupture your head, Piotr. Harness the carriage. Bring it round to the back. Now!

He
pushes
Piotr
roughly.
Piotr
goes
off
left.
Prokofyich
now
turns
to
Dunyasha.
She
is
wiping
the
surface
of
the
table.

That’s all right. Leave it now. No need to make a meal of it. Get upstairs and clean out that guest-room.

As
he
is
about
to
go
off
left:

Dunyasha
I’m thinking of leaving, Prokofyich.

Prokofyich
(
without
hesitation
)
Don’t think about it, miss. Just leave.

Dunyasha
Well, if I do, I won’t do it just because you would want me to do it. If I do it, I’ll do it because I want to …

But
he
has
already
gone.
She
wipes
her
nose,
lifts
her
tray
and
goes
towards
the
house.

Just
as
she
approaches
the
veranda
steps,
Arkady
and
Pavel
and
Nikolai
come
out
of
the
living-room.
Pavel
is
very
pale
and
his
arm
is
in
a
sling.

Arkady
comes
first,
walking
backwards.
Nikolai
holds
Pavel’s
‘good’
arm
even
though
Pavel
has
a
walking-stick.
Arkady
and
Nikolai
fuss
over
him
as
if
he
were
very
ill.
He
is
barely
able
to
keep
his
temper.

Arkady
Careful, Uncle Pavel, careful.

Nikolai
Watch that step.

Arkady
Take it slowly. There’s no rush.

Nikolai
(
to
Dunyasha
)
Watch, girl. Out of the way.

Arkady
Get a cushion, Dunyasha. Two cushions.

She goes into the house.

Nikolai
Let me take that stick, Pavel, and you can hold on to my arm.

Arkady
(
preparing
a
seat
) Here we are, Uncle Pavel.

Nikolai
Turn it round. He doesn’t like the direct sun. Splendid. Now get something for his feet.

Pavel
(
groaning
)
Oh, my God …

Nikolai
(
misunderstanding
the
groan
)
I know you’re in pain. Hang on for another second. That’s it now, Pavel – here we are. Sink back into that – gently – gently – that’s it – lovely. Can you lean forward a little? (
He
slips
a
cushion
behind
Pavel
.)
Excellent.

At the same time Arkady puts the second cushion, which Dunyasha has brought, on a stool and slips the stool under Pavel’s feet.

Thank you, Arkady. Now we’re more comfortable, aren’t we?

Dunyasha leaves.

Arkady
Should I get a lower stool?

Nikolai
I think that’s about right, (
to
Pavel
)
That bandage isn’t too tight, is it?

Arkady
He lost a lot of blood, you know.

Nikolai
As long as the fingers are free to –

Pavel
(
almost
a
shout
)
Please! (
now
softly
and
controlled
)
S’il
vous
plaît.
I got a superficial cut. I lost a few drops of blood. I am properly bandaged. I am in no pain.

Nikolai
Pavel, you have been through a shocking –

Pavel
I am perfectly well and perfectly comfortable, thank you very much, and I would be very grateful if both of you would leave me alone now. There’s a green-backed book sitting on the couch in the conservatory, Arkady. Would you bring it to me?

Arkady
goes
into
the
house.
Pause.

I owe you an apology, Nikolai. I am sorry to have caused all this … upset. I apologize. I won’t mention it again. (
Pause.
He
puts
perfume
on
his
hands
.)
If anybody’s going into town today, I’d be grateful if they’d get me some eau-de-Cologne. (
Pause
.)
I overhead young Katya talking to her sister yesterday afternoon. She referred to me as ‘beau-de-Cologne’. Not bad, I thought. I like that little lady. Spirited. (
Pause
.) And I understand Bazarov is leaving us.

Nikolai
Why did you have the duel with him, Pavel?

Pavel
It was my fault entirely.

Nikolai
What did you fight about?

Pavel
We had a political disagreement.

Nikolai
What about?

Pavel
I don’t wish to discuss it further, Nikolai.

Nikolai
I would like you to tell me exactly what the disagreement was about, Pavel.

Arkady
returns
with
the
book.

Arkady
The
Castles
of
At
h
lin
and
Dunbayne
–
is this it?

Pavel
Set in Scotland. The wonderful Mrs Ann Ward Radcliffe. She’s charming – she understands nothing.

Arkady
There’s something I’d like to say, Uncle Pavel. Formally. In my father’s presence.

Pavel
Oh dear – a manifesto.

Arkady
Because I brought Bazarov to this house, I feel at least partly responsible for whatever happened this morning – I know now I shouldn’t have brought him here in the first place but –

Nikolai
Nonsense, Arkady. This is your home.

Arkady
I’m trying to be rational and fair, Father. Our friendship was very important to me. It still is. So I want to be fair to that friendship and at the same time I don’t want to judge anybody quickly or rashly. So I’m afraid I must ask you, Uncle Pavel, to tell me exactly, if you would, please, exactly what –

Pavel
Exactly – exactly – exactly! Why this sudden passion for exactitude? Very well. Let’s get the damned thing said once and for all. But first I want a promise from you both that what I am going to tell you will not be repeated by either of you to anybody. Do I have that assurance?

They
both
nod.

Arkady
Of course you do.

Pavel
Well. Monsieur Bazarov and I were talking about English politicians. About Sir Robert Peel, to be exact, and his family background. I said Peel’s father was a
wealthy land-owner. Bazarov said he was a cotton manufacturer. I’ve looked it up since. I was wrong. Bazarov was in the right. Not that that matters – the issue itself was trivial. But one word, as they say, borrowed another. Tempers, as they say, too, flared. In a moment of irrationality I challenged him to a duel. He was astonished – naturally. And he met me this morning merely to flatter my pathetic pride. All in all he behaved admirably. His gun went off accidentally. I fired into the air. I have acquired some respect for Monsieur Bazarov. Some modest respect. (
Pause
.)
I will never mention that episode ever again. (
Pause
.) Now will somebody please tell my why Prokofyich is stumping about the house like an enraged beast?

Arkady
He disliked Bazarov from the beginning. Now he believes he has a reason to hate him.