Brian Friel Plays 2 (39 page)

(
reading
)
I, Hugh O’Neill, by the Queen of England, France and Ireland her most gracious favour created Earl of Tyrone, do with all true and humble penitency prostrate myself at her royal feet – (
He
drops
on
his
knees
.)
– absolutely submit myself to her mercy, (
not
reading
)
Mercy, Queen, Mercy!

O’Neill
Most sorrowfully imploring her gracious commiseration and appealing only to her princely clemency, without presuming to justify my unloyal proceedings against her sacred majesty.

O’Donnell
(
reading
)
May it please Her Majesty to mitigate her just indignation against me for my unnatural rebellion which deserves no forgiveness and for which I can make no satisfaction, even with my life, (
not
reading
) Jesus, you are one great fraud, O’Neill!

O’Neill
I do most humbly beg Her Majesty to restore me to my former living and dignity where as an obedient subject I vow to continue hereafter loyal to her royal person, to her crown, to her prerogatives, and to her English laws.

O’Donnell
Her English –?! Hey, steady on, man, steady –!

O’Neill
I do renounce and abjure all foreign power whatever and all kind of dependency upon any other potentate but Her Majesty, the Queen of England, France and Ireland –

O’Donnell
(
reading
)
And do vow to serve her faithfully against any foreign power invading her kingdom; and especially do I abjure and renounce all manner of
dependency upon the King of Spain and shall be ready with the uttermost of my ability to serve Her Majesty against him or any of his forces or confederates.

O’Neill
I do resign all claim and title to any lands but such as shall now be granted to me; and lastly I offer to the Queen and to her magistrates here my full assistance in anything that may tend to the advancement of her service and the peaceable government of this kingdom.

O’Donnell
(
reading
)
Particularly will I help in the abolishing of all barbarous Gaelic customs which are the seeds of all incivility.

O’Neill
And for the clearing of all difficult passages and places –

O’Donnell
(
reading
)
Which are the nurseries –

O’Neill
Which are the nurseries of rebellion. And I will endeavour to erect habitations –

O’Donnell
(
reading
)
Civil habitations.

O’Neill
Civil habitations for myself and for the people of my country to preserve us against any force but the power of the state –

O’Donnell
(
reading
)
By which power –

O’Neill
By which power we must rest assured to be preserved as long as we continue in our loyal and faithful duties to Her Majesty –

O’Donnell
(
reading
)
To her most clement –

O’Neill
To her most clement, most gracious, most noble and most forgiving majesty.

O’Donnell
(
reading
)
To whom I now most abjectly and most obediently offer my service and indeed … my life …

Silence
.
Then
O’Neill
moves
away
as
if
to
distance
himself
from
what
he
has
just
said
.
O’Donnell
is
still
on
his
knees
.

This is the end of it all, Hugh, isn’t it? (
Pause
.)
Jesus. (
He
gets
to
his
feet‚
brightening
.)
All the same they say she’s a peculiar woman, the Queen. Damn it, wouldn’t it be a good one if she believed you – eh?

O’Neill
She won’t believe me.

O’Donnell
But if she did! Damn it, I’d make a submission to her myself!

O’Neill
Belief has nothing to do with it. As Mabel says, she’ll use me if it suits her.

O’Donnell
And your people?

O’Neill
They’re much more pure, ‘my people’. Oh, no, they won’t believe me either. But they’ll pretend they believe me and then with ruthless Gaelic logic they’ll crucify me for betraying them.

Harry
enters.
He
looks
quickly
first
at
O’Neill
and
then
at
O’Donnell
–
they
have
not
noticed
his
arrival.
He
then
greets
them
with
deliberate
heartiness.

Harry
It wouldn’t be hard to surprise you two.

O’Donnell
Harry! How are you, man?

Harry
When did you get back?

O’Donnell
Just arrived.

Harry
We thought we had lost you – (
to
O’Neill
)
didn’t we?

O’Donnell
I tried to surrender to Dowcra but he wouldn’t take me.

O’Neill
How was the journey?

Harry
The journey was fine. We had a fine journey.

O’Neill
And the O Cathains were expecting her?

Harry
A big welcoming party. Everything quiet here?

O’Neill
She was in good form when you left her?

Harry
That’s a great place they have there, (
to
O’Donnell
)
Ethna O Cathain and your mother are cousins, aren’t they?

O’Donnell
Second cousins.

Harry
Yes, she mentioned that, (
rummaging
in
his
bag
) And she sent you both some food: some oatmeal bread and milk and what’s this – biscuits – strange-looking biscuits –

O’Neill
They know exactly where I am?

Harry
Of course they know; raisins, flour –

O’Neill
And they’ll send me word immediately?

Harry
Yes. And she sent this specially to you, Hugh. (
He
hands
over
a
bottle
to
O’Donnell
.)

O’Donnell
Is it whiskey?

Harry
Ten year old.

O’Donnell
Decent woman, Ethna. And thank God I don’t put water in it.

Harry
Anybody else hungry?

O’Neill
No, thanks.

O’Donnell
(
drinking
)
Good luck. Hugh?

O’Neill
Not for me.

O’Donnell
What’s the news about Dungiven, Harry?

Harry
(
eating
)
Let me see. Nothing very much. Archbishop Lombard’s gone to Rome.

O’Donnell
For good?

Harry
They’ve invented some sort of job for him there.

O’Donnell
You may be sure aul Peter’ll always land on his feet.

Harry
And Archbishop Oviedo’s gone to England. The morning after Kinsale he headed straight for London to sweeten the authorities there – in case there’d be a backlash against the Catholics in England.

O’Donnell
They don’t miss a beat, those boys, do they? Beautiful stuff this. Sure you don’t want some, Hugh?

Harry
Leave some for the rest of us.

O’Neill
They have their own physicians, the O Cathains, haven’t they?

Harry
Sean O Coinne. I met him there. Seemed very competent. What else is new? Oh, yes, Sir Garret Moore wants to get in touch with you – I imagine at Mountjoy’s prompting. He wants to explore what areas of common interest might still exist between you and the crown. The pretext for getting you down to the Boyne is the first run of sea trout. If you were to go, I’m sure he’d have some civil servants there.

O’Donnell
So they do want to talk to you, Hugh. Mabel was right.

Harry
What else? … There’s a rumour that Mountjoy himself may be in trouble because of some woman in England – Lady Penelope Rich? – is that the name? Anyhow if the scandal becomes public they say Mountjoy may be recalled. What else was there …? Sean na bPunta is still going calmly round the country with his brown
leather bag, collecting your rents as if the place weren’t in chaos! … Tadhg O Cianain is writing a book on the past ten years –

O’Donnell
Another history! Jesus, if we had as many scones of bread as we have historians!

Harry
It will be a very exact piece of work that Tadhg will produce … And portions of another book are being circulated and it seems the English government is paying a lot of attention to it. Written by an Englishman called Spenser who used to have a place down near the Ballyhouras mountains – wherever they are – I’m getting like you, Hugh – they’re in County Cork, aren’t they? – anyhow this Spenser was burned out in the troubles after the battle of the Yellow Ford … (
He
suddenly
breaks
down
but
continues
speaking
without
stopping
.)
Oh, my God, Hugh, I don’t know how to say it to you – I don’t know how to tell you – we had only just arrived at O Cathain’s place –

O’Donnell
Harry –?

Harry
And the journey
had
been fine – she was in wonderful form – we sang songs most of the way – I taught her ‘Tabhair Dom Do Lamh’, Ruadhaire Dall’s song, because the O Cathains are relatives of his and she could show off before them and we laughed until we were sore at the way she pronounced the Irish words – and she taught me a Staffordshire ballad called ‘Lord Brand, He was a Gentleman’ and I tried to sing it in a Staffordshire accent – and she couldn’t have been better looked after – they were all waiting for her – Ethna, the doctor O Coinne, two midwives, half-a-dozen servants. And everything seemed perfectly normal – everything
was
fine. She said if the baby was a boy she was going to call it Nicholas after her father and if it was a girl she was going to call it Joan after your mother – and when Ethna asked
her were you thinking of going into exile she got very agitated and she said, ‘Hugh?’ She said, ‘Hugh would never betray his people’ – and just then, quite normally, quite naturally, she went into labour – and whatever happened – I still don’t really know – whatever happened, something just wasn’t right, Hugh. The baby lived for about an hour – it was a boy – but she never knew it had died – and shortly afterwards Ethna was sitting on a stool right beside her bed, closer than I am to you – and she was sleeping very peacefully – and then she gave a long sigh as if she were very tired and when Ethna put her hand on her cheek … It wasn’t possible to get word to you – it all happened so quickly – herself and the baby within two hours – the doctor said something about poisoning of the blood – Oh, God, I’m so sorry for you – I’m so sorry for all of us. I loved her, too – you know that – from the very first day we met her – remember that day in May? – her twentieth birthday? – she was wearing a blue dress with a white lace collar and white lace cuffs … If you had seen her laid out she looked like a girl of fourteen, she was just so beautiful … God have mercy on her. God have mercy on all of us.

Long
silence
.

O’Neill
(
almost
in
a
whisper
)
Yes, I think I’ll take some of that whiskey now, Hugh. Just a thimbleful, if you please. And no water. Oh, dear God …

Quick
black
.

O’Neill
(
off
)
Anybody at home? Harry? Why are there no damned lights out here? (
now
on
)
Catriona? Your slightly inebriated husband is back! I really shouldn’t have had that last bottle of – (
He
bumps
into
a
stool
and
knocks
it
over
.
As
he
straightens
it:
)
Forgive me, I do beg your pardon. Perhaps you could assist me, signor. Am I in the right building? You see, I’m a foreigner in your city, an émigré from Ireland in fact – yes, yes,
Irlanda
.
Ah! You’ve been there?
Bella,
indeed: indeed
bellissima
;
you are very kind. What’s that? Oh, yes, that is perfectly true – everybody does love us. And I’ll tell you why, my friend: because we are a most attractive and a most loyal people. Now, if you’d be so kind, I’m trying to make my way to the Palazzo dei Penitenzieri which is between the Via della Conciliazione and the Borgo Santo Spirito where I live with – (
He
breaks
off
suddenly
because
,
holding
his
taper
up
high
,
he
finds
himself
standing
at
the
desk
and
looking
down
at
the
book
.
He
stares
at
it
for
a
few
seconds
.
Very
softly
)
The right building indeed. Home. Everything is in order … (
He
takes
a
few
steps
away
from
the
desk
and
calls:
)
Archbishop? Harry? (
No
answer.
He
returns
to
the
book
and
turns
it
round
so
that
he
can
read
it
.
He
leans
over
the
page
,
his
face
close
to
it
and
reads:
)
‘In the name of God. Herewith I set my hand to chronicle the life of Hugh O’Neill, Earl of Tyrone, son of Feardorcha, son of Conn Bacagh, son of Conn Mor, noblest son of noble
lineage who was fostered and brought up by the
highborn
nobles of his tribe, the O’Hagans and the O’Quinns, and who continued to grow and increase in comeliness and urbanity, tact and eloquence, wisdom and knowledge, goodly size and noble deeds, so that his name and fame spread throughout the five provinces of Ireland and beyond –’ (
Suddenly,
violently,
angrily
he
swings
away
from
the
desk.
He
bellows:
)
Where the hell is everybody? Catriona? Your devoted earl is home! (
He
listens.
There
is
no
sound.
)
At vespers, no doubt. Or in the arms of some sweaty Roman with a thick neck and bushy stomach. (
He
goes
to
the
small
table
and
lights
the
candles
there.
Then
he
empties
the
dregs
from
two
empty
bottles
into
a
wine
glass.
As
he
does
these
things:
)
Enormously popular in this city, my Countess. Of course she is still attractive – indeed all the more attractive since she has gone ever so slightly, almost judiciously, to seed; no doubt an intuitive response to the Roman preference for over-ripeness. Curious people, these Romans: they even find her vulgar Scottish accent charming. Happily for them they don’t understand a word she … (
With
the
glass
in
his
hand
he
has
drifted
back
to
–
cannot
resist
the
pull
of
–
the
open
book.
Again
myopically
he
leans
over
it
and
reads:
)
‘And people reflected in their minds that when he would reach manhood there would not be one like him of the Irish to avenge their wrongs and punish the plunderings of his race. For it was foretold by prophets and by predictors of futurity that there would come one like him –

Damn you, Archbishop! But this is one battle I am not going to lose! (
Wheeling
away
from
the
table,
he
bellows:
)
Where the hell is everybody?! Catriona, you bitch, where are you? Haaaa-reeee!

He
turns
round.
Harry
is
at
his
elbow.
He
is
embarrassed.

Ah, there you are. Why do you keep hiding on me? Where the hell is everybody?

Harry
Catriona has gone out. She says –

O’Neill
(
furious
again
)
Out! Out! Tell me when the hell my accommodating wife is ever in! (
softly
)
Sorry.

Harry
And the Archbishop is upstairs. You were to have spent the afternoon with him.

O’Neill
Why would I have done that?

Harry
He wanted confirmation of some details.

O’Neill
What are you talking about?

Harry
For his history.

O’Neill
‘His history’! Damn his history. I haven’t eaten all day, Harry. I suppose I ought to be hungry.

Harry
Let me get you –

O’Neill
No, I don’t want food. What’s happened here since morning?

Harry
A reply from the King of Spain.

O’Neill
Wonderful!

Harry
Eventually. Thanking you for your last three letters –

O’Neill
But –

Harry
But reminding you again that England and Spain have signed a peace treaty. It’s fragile but it’s holding.

O’Neill
The King of Spain has betrayed us, Harry.

Harry
He believes that the interests of Ireland and Spain are best served by ‘
inactión
’
.

O’Neill
Inacción.

Harry
And he urges you to remain in Rome for the time being.

O’Neill
I have remained in Rome for the time being at his insistence for the past eight years!

Harry
He says he values your Christian patience.

O’Neill
(
shouting
)
He values my Christian –! (
softly
)
I’m going to die in this damned town, Harry. You do know that, don’t you? And be buried here, beside my son, in the church of San Pietro. (
He
laughs
.)
The drink makes
God-like
princes maudlin.

Harry
Not a good day?

O’Neill
Oh, wonderful! Animating! The usual feverish political activity and intellectual excitement. First I walked to the top of the Janiculum hill. Then I walked down again. Then I stood in line at the office of the Papal Secretary and picked up my paltry papal pension and bowed and said, ‘
Grazie.
Grazie
molto
.’ Then I stood in line at the office of the Spanish Embassy and picked up my paltry Spanish pension and bowed and said, ‘
Gracias.
Muchas
gracias’.
And then I – (
He
breaks
off,
points
to
the
ceiling
.)
The Archbishop?

Harry
nods
yes.

(
whispering
)
Then I spent a most agreeable hour with Maria the Neapolitan.

Harry
That’s a new name.

O’Neill
Yes. Wonderful girl, Maria. Steeped in Greek mythology and speaks half-a-dozen languages. Anyhow I
left some of my money with her; Spanish money, of course. And when I was leaving, d’you know what she said to me, Harry?
‘Grazie,
signor.
Grazie
molto.’

Harry
laughs.

She did. And I believe she meant it. I’m an old man – I was flattered momentarily.

Harry
And then you met Neachtain O Domhnaill and Christopher Plunkett.

O’Neill
Have you been spying on me?

Harry
They were here this morning looking for you.

O’Neill
And we spent the afternoon together – as you can see.

Harry
O Domhnaill was drunk when he was here.

O’Neill
And once more we went over the master plan to raise an army and retake Ireland. Spain will provide the men, France will supply the artillery and the Pope will pay for the transportation. Naturally O’Neill of Tyrone will lead the liberating host. But because my eyesight is less than perfect, Plunkett will ride a few paces ahead of me. And because Plunkett’s hearing is less than perfet, O Domhnaill will ride a few paces ahead of him. O Domhnaill’s delirium tremens has got to be overlooked because he refuses to acknowledge it himself. Our estimate is that it may take the best part of a day to rout the English – perhaps two if they put up a fight. The date of embarkation – May 19: you see, the eighteenth is pension day.

Harry
What drinking house were you in?

O’Neill
Pedro Blanco’s. Full as usual. Plunkett insisted the customers were all Englishmen, disguised as Romans, spying on us. And so for security reasons our master plan has been code-named – this was O Domhnaill’s only
inspiration – Operation Turf Mould … I can’t stand it much longer, Harry. I think my mind is beginning to … Maybe I should eat something.

Harry
Good. I’ll get you –

O’Neill
Not now. Later. If you would be so kind – (
He
holds
out
his
glass
for
Harry
to
fill
.)

Harry
Sorry, Hugh. We’re out of wine. There’s no wine in the house.

O’Neill
Why?

Harry
(
reluctantly
)
The supplier turned me away this afternoon. I’m afraid we’ve run out of credit.

O’Neill
Who is this supplier?

Harry
His name is Carlo something. We’ve always dealt with him. His place is at the back of –

O’Neill
And he refused you?

Harry
We already owe him eight hundred ducats.

O’Neill
He refused you?

Harry
He’s a decent man but he has six young children.

O’Neill
(
shouting
)
Don’t be so damned elusive, Harry. (
softly
)
Did this fellow refuse you?

Harry
He refused me.

O’Neill
And he knew who the wine was for?

Harry
I’m sure he did.

O’Neill
Did you tell him the wine was for Hugh O’Neill?

Harry
I’ve been going to him ever since we –

O’Neill
Did you specifically tell him the wine was for Hugh O’Neill?

Harry
Yes, of course he knew the wine was for Hugh O’Neill and what he said was that Hugh O’Neill’s credit was finished – no payment, no wine. And you might as well know, too, that we owe money to Catriona’s tailor and to the baker and that the rent in this place is six months overdue.

O’Neill
(
icily
)
You’re shouting at me, Harry.

Harry
Sorry. I can’t stand it much longer either, Hugh.

O’Neill
And perhaps this is as good a time as any to take a look at how you’re squandering the money I entrust to you to manage my affairs, or perhaps more importantly
why
you’re squandering that money. Because my suspicion is that this isn’t just your customary ineptitude in money matters –

Harry
goes
to
the
door
.

Harry
We’ll talk tomorrow, Hugh.

O’Neill
What I suspect is that the pride you once professed in being a servant of the O’Neill is long gone – and I suppose that’s understandable: I can’t be of much use to you any more, can I?