Brides of Iowa (16 page)

She glanced over at Miss Pearl who, judging by her smug though teary-eyed smile, was enjoying every minute of this. But Tessa had to clear up one thing. “There’s something I have to say.”

The anticipation etched on his face faded, but he didn’t interrupt her.

“I found a verse underlined in my mother’s Bible that says, ‘Abstain from all appearance of evil.’ If I had used better judgment, I would never have gone near the saloon for any reason. And if I hadn’t been there, you wouldn’t have drawn the wrong conclusion. So I’m sorry, too.”

Tenderness spread across Gideon’s countenance.

Her guarded hesitation melted away, and a slow smile crept into her face. Did she dare allow herself to hope?

“Ahem.” Miss Pearl stepped forward. “Does this mean I have a new boarder?”

How did one say thank you for such generosity and kindness? “I just can’t believe you did all this—for me.” She couldn’t keep the tremor from her voice.

Miss Pearl patted her hand. “For us, dear. You’re helping me by doing the baking. I’m getting too old to stand in the kitchen all day. And you’ll be helping Gideon by bringing more customers into his store.”

She liked that idea. If she could repay Gideon for all the kindness he’d offered her, then it would be easy to agree to the arrangement. “It sounds like I’ll benefit more than either of you. But if you truly want a three-way partnership, then my answer is yes.”

Gideon pulled a small painted sign from a shelf and held it up for her approval.

“T
ESSA
’
S
B
AKERY
. Oh my goodness!” She clapped her hands.

“There’s just one small delay.” Gideon crossed the space and pointed out an area on the stove and chimney, explaining that two connecting pieces were missing. “The parts are in Dubuque. I’m leaving first thing in the morning to go get them.”

Tessa nodded, still barely able to take it all in.

Miss Pearl slipped her arm through Tessa’s. “Since you’ll be using my kitchen to do the baking for the boardinghouse, I’d like for you to move in today, if that’s all right with you.”

Tessa gave the woman an impulsive hug. Her throat was too tight for any other reply.

Miss Pearl beamed. “Gideon, can you help Tessa move her things to the boardinghouse this evening?”

He gave her a silly schoolboy grin. “My pleasure.”

Gideon loaded Tessa’s trunk onto Cully’s old wheelbarrow and dusted his hands on his pants. “Is that everything?”

Tessa stepped out the door of the shed with the kitten in her arms. Her smile set Gideon’s heart tumbling. “Everything except Daisy.”

He reached out and scratched the cat behind the ears. “You want to put her in the trunk?”

“Of course not,” Tessa sputtered. She threw a defensive look at him and broke into a giggle at his teasing grin. “I’ll just leave her in the shed, and as soon as I’ve finished talking to Mr. Kilgore, I’ll come and get her.”

The mention of Kilgore’s name dampened the anticipation that had been skittering through Gideon’s middle all day. “Do you want me to come with you?”

She shook her head. “No. You go ahead to Miss Pearl’s with those things. This won’t take long, and I’ll meet you over there.”

Doubt nipped at Gideon. If he knew Kilgore, the man would do his best to intimidate her. Gideon wanted to insist on accompanying her, but her independent spirit waved like a flag on the Fourth of July. “All right. But if you don’t show up at Miss Pearl’s place in a few minutes, I’m going to come looking for you.”

The moment he arrived at Miss Pearl’s back door, the woman bustled about, directing him to carry Tessa’s things to a small but clean room just off the kitchen.

“This quilt has always reminded me of spring flowers,” she said as she smoothed the cover over the bed. “I hope Tessa likes it.” Miss Pearl fluffed up the pillow and straightened the rag rug on the floor.

Gideon nodded. The room was a startling contrast to the dismal shed. He set down the last of Tessa’s belongings and left Miss Pearl to fuss over her preparations. As he descended the back porch steps, he caught sight of Tessa coming through the shadows.

She smiled a greeting and deposited Daisy on the porch. “Thank you, Gideon, for carrying my things.”

“It was my pleasure. Did Kilgore give you a hard time?”

A tight-lipped smile tugged a dimple into her face. “He told me I couldn’t quit because I was fired. Again.”

He could only imagine the pompous man’s bluster. “Either way, you don’t have to deal with him anymore.”

“Thanks to you.”

The evening breeze lifted sandy strands of hair across her cheek, and an unseen hand pressed him a step closer. His fingers took on a mind of their own as they reached to brush the wisp of hair from her face. She raised widened eyes to his, and his heart rolled over in his chest. Twilight’s fading rays fell across her, casting bronzed reflections in her eyes. Muted sounds of the evening hushed as he focused his gaze on her lips. The blood rushed in his ears. He gently cupped her chin and started to lower his face to hers.

When his lips were mere inches from hers, she turned her head and pulled back. “Thank you again, Gideon. For everything. Miss Pearl must be waiting for me.” She darted like a scared rabbit up the porch steps and through the door.

T
essa couldn’t stop staring at the cozy, cheerful room that was her new home. It wasn’t much larger than the shed, but the difference made her feel as though she’d just been released from a dungeon to live in the king’s palace. The blue flowers on the pitcher and basin reminded her of the blue in Mama’s eyes, and the colorful quilt smelled of fresh lavender. A crisp white curtain hung at the small window.

Miss Pearl stood in the doorway. “I hope it’s not too cramped, dear.”

“Oh no, ma’am. It’s…it’s…” Her eyes traveled around the space until they came to rest on the oil lamp on the small dresser. “It’s wonderful.” She crossed the room and touched the sparkling glass globe of the lamp. “May I really use this?”

Miss Pearl laughed. “Of course, dear. There’s a box of wood matches in the top drawer of your dresser. Now, you must be tired, so I’ll leave you to get settled.”

Tessa thanked her and eased down on the bed, relishing its softness. She wondered if she’d be able to sleep on a comfortable bed after sleeping on nothing but her tattered quilt on the hard ground for so long. She looked forward to finding out.

There weren’t many things in her trunk or cabinet to tuck away or hang, but she extracted each item and smoothed it with her hands before giving it a home on one of the wooden pegs or a dresser drawer. She reached into the cabinet and pulled out the cracked coffee mug that served as her candleholder. The pitiful short stub of melted wax in the bottom of the cup was no longer needed now that she could sit and read by lamplight.

As she pushed the nearly empty trunk to the foot of the bed, the memory of Gideon touching her face crossed her mind like a web of silken threads. The touch of his fingers against her cheek sent flutters through her stomach. She could still feel his breath on her face.

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine how it might have felt if she’d not turned her head. Gideon’s face lowering to hers caught her completely off guard. It never occurred to her that he might wish to kiss her.

“Why did I pull away from him?” No answer was forthcoming. “I wonder what was going through his mind.” One thing was certain: She couldn’t begin to describe what was going through hers.

Tessa lay awake half the night tussling with worrisome thoughts. Her new bed was comfortable enough to invite sleep, but nagging images of Gideon loomed every time she closed her eyes. His tender expression and gentle touch lingered softly in her mind—like a melody she didn’t want to forget. But her response to his touch drove her brow into a furrowed frown.

When she finally drifted off, she startled awake what seemed like only a moment later. The conversation she’d overheard between Mr. Kilgore and Mr. Behr prodded her conscience. She’d fretted all week, wondering whether or not she should tell Gideon what she’d heard. But then she’d have to admit to eavesdropping. She’d almost made up her mind to tell him last night when he carried her belongings to the boardinghouse. When he leaned down, appearing like he intended to kiss her, everything flew right out of her head. She hadn’t given the overheard conversation another thought until now.

Giving up on sleep, she rose, dressed, and padded softly to the kitchen to stoke the fire in the cookstove. By the time Miss Pearl joined her, the fragrance of cinnamon spice coffee cake, fluffy biscuits, bacon, and coffee filled the air.

After the boarders finished their breakfasts, Tessa went to work kneading bread dough and setting it to rise. Later that morning, two warm, fresh loaves sat side by side and Tessa was taking cookies from the oven.

“I feel positively lazy!” Miss Pearl declared with a chuckle as she entered the kitchen.

Tessa hoisted a basket of apples to the worktable. “I thought I’d make an apple cobbler for dessert.” She pushed a plate of cookies in Miss Pearl’s direction. “Would you like some warm sugar cookies with your tea?”

“Mercy sakes, you’re going to spoil me, child.”

Tessa gave Miss Pearl a shy smile. “I’d like to spoil you. It’s just my way of saying thank you.”

Miss Pearl patted Tessa’s shoulder. “Now, I haven’t done a thing. It’s all Gideon’s doing.” She picked up an empty basket from the pantry. “I’m going to pick some green beans from the garden.” The woman stepped out the back door, leaving Tessa to work in solitude.

All Gideon’s doing.
The very mention of his name set her stomach to quivering. She wondered where he was now, how close to Dubuque and how soon to return.

Her unsettled heart pulled her first one way and then another when she invited last night’s memory back to her mind. When Gideon’s lips were inches from hers, she’d felt unable to draw a breath. His nearness paralyzed her, like time had stopped. When she’d escaped to the safety of her room and leaned against the closed door with her heart pounding in her ears, her legs barely held her up. Even now, as she recalled the touch of his fingers on her face, a shiver danced through her.

But why? Was it fear? Or something else?

When the drunken man outside the saloon grabbed her wrist that awful night, a nauseous, dreadful fear caused her to tremble. Gideon’s touch was completely opposite.

“Why did I turn away from him?” Her own whisper accused her of being fickle. Her eyelids stung. She longed to talk to Mama. Miss Pearl was a sweet lady, but Tessa feared she didn’t know the woman well enough to confide in her yet. Mama always knew her heart and could help her sort out her tumultuous emotions. To whom would she run now?

One of the psalms she’d read last night said God was a Father to the fatherless. The concept was almost too precious to ponder. If she claimed it, did that mean she could talk to Him when she was confused or lonely? Right now, she was both.

“God?”

She paused to gather all her tumbled thoughts.

“God, I don’t know how to explain this, but I guess that’s silly. I don’t have to explain anything to You.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “I’m so mixed up inside. Sometimes I want so badly to be close to Gideon that I ache. But when he’s near, my heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest, my hands won’t be still, and all I want to do is run away.”

She’d hoped speaking the words might help put her unruly emotions into perspective, but instead her own voice sounded hollow and her plea directionless. All she could do was pray God understood.

Daisy came tiptoeing into the kitchen with her tail held straight up like a tiny, furry flagpole.

Tessa scooped her up and sat on one of the kitchen chairs, settling the kitten in her lap. A twinge of envy pricked her. “God, sometimes I wish I could curl up in Your lap.”

Daisy purred and kneaded her paws into the folds of Tessa’s apron.

“What if I hurt Gideon’s feelings last night?” Her heart spun like a whirl-wind. “He’s been so good and kind I can’t stand thinking I might have offended him. But what I feel for Gideon isn’t just because he’s good and kind.”