Brightest Kind of Darkness (21 page)

“Do you remember what he said to your mother in your dream?”

“I only heard Mom’s responses.” I closed my eyes, trying to remember. “She said, ‘Inara’s here. She’s fine.’ And then she paused and said, ‘She’s perfectly safe’. I assumed that he called to ask about me once he’d seen the bomb threat on the news.”

“Yeah, that would’ve been the day after you called in the school bombing.”

I gripped my soccer bag’s strap. “So what bothering you?”

Instead of answering, Ethan asked another question. “When you dream your entire day, how do you see it? Do you see yourself like you’re starring in a movie?”

I’d never thought about
how
I saw my dreams. “No, it’s not like that. I see everything from my point-of-view. I don’t see myself. Do you see something different?”

“Yeah, it’s like I’m watching a movie and you’re starring in it.”

I had no idea Ethan was seeing my dreams from another perspective. “What does that have to do with my dad?”

“Because I heard what your dad said to your mom, Nara. He said, ‘Elizabeth, I know I’m the last person you want to hear from. Inara is
special
and her safety’s of the utmost importance. Can I please speak to her?’ Maybe he was calling because he wondered if you’d been the one to call it in.”

My pulse whooshed in my ears. “You think my dad knew that I called the bombing in because of my dreams?”

Ethan shoved his hands in his pockets. “I don’t know for sure, but putting what he said, together with the timing of his call—right after the bombing incident was averted at school—and then the fact your aunt said he’d paid the highest price for interfering, it just got me wondering.” His blue eyes focused on me. “Maybe you should talk to him. Find out all you can about your powers.”

Setting my lips in a firm line, I shook my head. “I’ve dealt with this ‘gift’ for a while now. When my dad left us, my mom nearly lost it. I won’t go there again, Ethan. I won’t put her through seeing or hearing from him, just because I’m curious about my powers.”

“I would kill to have someone to talk to about my power, to know I wasn’t the only one—” he started to say, then cut himself off, sighing heavily. “Whether you like it or not, you have your dad’s ability. Your aunt and your dad don’t know that your dreams never really disappeared. With the warnings your aunt mentioned ‘to respect your power and not intervene’ and your recent run-ins with Fate, you have to be wondering what price your dad paid.”

Chapter Nineteen

What price
had
my dad paid?

The question had echoed in my mind ever since I learned we shared the same ability. But my desire for answers didn’t override my worry of how my dad’s sudden reappearance would affect Mom and me…except for one burning question.

What if my dad had dealt with Fate before?

Had my dad prevented a disaster, only to watch people get hurt anyway, like I’d experienced with people at school?

The nagging “need to know” had me picking up my cell phone several times to call my aunt and ask for my dad’s info, but I’d always put it back down. Resentment and curiosity fought major battles in my brain, making my thoughts a mishmash of contradictions.

I hated my dad for what his leaving did to my mom and me, but a part of me really wanted to know more about my powers; why we had them, what to expect as I grew older. And yeah, the insecure part of me wanted to confront him and demand, “Why did you leave us? How could you leave me?” But then I pictured my mom falling apart and worry for her stamped out all the “pro-reunion” voices in my head.

It was hard enough to see Ethan at school and talk with him in study hall. Spending any time alone together without being able to touch would’ve killed me, so I suggested we finish up our History project via email. It hurt that he agreed, but it was for the best.

Wednesday morning, the sunlight slipped sleepily into my room, its rays warm and inviting. My eyes slowly opened and as my brain engaged, a floodgate of emotions rushed forward. I was tired again. My dreams had returned, but I didn’t feel whole or happy. Instead, sadness and regret engulfed me. Tears fell hard and fast, while deep, heart-wrenching loss clogged my throat. I wasn’t crying because of my dreams. I was crying, because dreaming about my future again meant that my special connection with Ethan had diminished…and would never return.

I was all put back together, but had never felt more torn apart.

Mom had left on business the night before, and as I dragged myself through my morning routine of getting ready for school, the silent house felt quiet and echo-y, making me feel especially alone.

I kept to myself the entire day at school and even spent study hall in the library. I knew I was moping and feeling sorry for myself, which meant I was probably punishing Ethan in the process, but I couldn’t help how I felt. Ethan didn’t complain, though I saw the resigned understanding in his eyes when he walked me out to my car after school.

“You got your dreams back last night, didn’t you?” he asked when we stopped beside my car.

The wind swirled his black hair around his face, making me jealous. I wanted to feel the thick mop twist and curl around my fingers. “Yeah,” I said, peering up at him through my peach shades. They were the only ones I wore now.

Ethan hunched his shoulders to ward off the chill air, his army jacket bunching around his chin. “You coming back to study hall tomorrow?”

His blue gaze held more than a question. It reflected the need I felt deep inside; the same knocked-in-the-gut pain I’d experienced this morning when I realized I had my dreams back. “You still see my dreams, don’t you?”

When he nodded, I exhaled a sigh of relief. “That’s good. What about the visions and voices? Are they coming back during the day?”

He shrugged. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

My heart twisted. I wanted to touch him, to take away his pain and lessen my own.

Awkward silence passed between us, then he took a couple steps back so I could open my car door. “I guess you need to head home now.”

There was so much I wanted to say to him. “Ethan, this is just so hard—”

He suddenly stepped so close that I tensed, even as my insides skittered in excitement. “I want to touch you, Nara, but I can’t,” he said in a low, tortured tone. “I want to kiss you, but I can’t. All I can do is watch you from a distance and it’s killing me.” His gaze searched the planes of my face before he stepped back again. “I’ll see you at your game.”

I didn’t think it was possible to fall even more deeply in love with him, but my emotions shredded in the wind whipping around us. “I miss you, too,” I said in a strangled voice, then opened my car door. Before I closed it, Ethan asked, “When are you going to contact your dad?”

“I can’t. I deleted all his text messages.”

He frowned. “That’s a cop out.”

“It’s the truth.”

“You can call your aunt anytime for his information, Nara. Hide it from your mom if you think that’s best, but I think you should contact him.”

Shutting the door, I drove off, wishing I wasn’t such a chicken and that Ethan’s opinion didn’t matter so much.

* * *

The next day, I waited by Ethan’s locker first thing in the morning, my nerves wound tight. My heart jumped when I saw Lainey and Jared walking hand-in-hand down the hall.

She stopped beside me, her eyes shining with excitement. “You’re coming to Jared’s party tonight, right?”

Jared flashed a big smile. “Yeah, come on, Nara. I want to celebrate my girl’s win last night.”

I swallowed the hard lump in my throat. While Jared turned to high-five with one of the football players, Lainey clasped my hand and squeezed. “Bring Ethan. Coming to a party might help loosen him up some.” 

“I’ll try.”

“Great!” As Jared dragged her away, she waved. “See you later.”

“Not a good idea,” Ethan said near my ear, making me jump.

I turned to him, eyes pleading. “I know this party will probably give you a whole slew of new nightmares, but can you please go with me?”

Ethan’s jaw tensed. “You’re not going to warn her about him, are you?”

“It wouldn’t do any good. She needs to see for herself this time.”

“What about the other?”

I heard the tension in his voice. “Even if I hadn’t dreamed it, I would never have let her drive drunk.”

When Ethan leaned back against his locker, a look of disapproval on his face, I folded my arms across my chest. “What? You expect me to stand by and do nothing?” my voice rose slightly as anxiety clawed at my throat. “I would’ve taken her keys anyway, like a good friend should!”

“You
did
take her keys.”

“Her sneaking out of the bathroom and snitching the keys from the shelf where I’d set them wasn’t what I expected.”

“Exactly. You tried.”

“We might not know how bad the accident is, but we
know
she has one. I’ll just drive her home myself.”

He slowly shook his head, his jaw set. “Maybe…it was meant to be, Nara.”

“Ethan!” I was in a panic. He had to help me help Lainey. I’d thought I’d been successful in making Fate back off, but it was continuing the pattern. I couldn’t
not
act.

“You’ve challenged Fate, Nara. I’m worried what it’ll do if you go through with this.”

“I’m going,” I said in a tight voice.

Ethan raked his hands down his face. “I don’t want you going alone. I’ll come.”

“Thank you!” I was so relieved he was coming. “I’ll drive since this is my idea. I’ll pick you up on the way.”

* * *

Tugging my black coat tight around my dark blue cable knit sweater, I ran sweat-soaked palms down the front of my jeans and knocked on Ethan’s door. I was glad I’d worn my hair down and added some eyeliner on top of my mascara. I was suddenly nervous to meet Samson.

The door swung open and a tall blond guy stood in the doorway. “Hi, I’m Nara,” I said a little too brightly.

Samson might look young, but the set of his shoulders and the way he assessed me—a quick, parental sweep of his eyes—made him appear much older. He thumbed behind him with a smile. “Ethan’s upstairs. Come in.”

As I stepped into the foyer, Samson stuck out his hand. “I’m Samson, by the way, and don’t believe anything Ethan has told you about me.”

I relaxed a little and shook his hand, noting how different his bright blue eyes were from Ethan’s dark blue ones. “It’s nice to meet you, Samson…and it’s all been good, I promise.”

“Somehow I doubt it’s
all
been good.” Samson glanced at Ethan, who’d walked into the room.

“Hey, Nara.”

I read the tension in Ethan’s face, but didn’t want to discuss tonight in front of his brother. “Ready to head to the library?”

“Right.” Ethan tugged into a thick heather gray fleece he pulled off the back of the couch.

Broader and thicker than Ethan, Samson clapped his brother on the shoulder with a knowing grin. “Library…riiight! Don’t stay out too late, kids.”

“Kids?” Ethan rolled his eyes. “You’re only a few years older than me.”

“And a heck of a lot wiser.” Samson glanced at me. “Then again, I didn’t have a girlfriend like Nara in high school, so you must be doing something right.”

Heat shot to my cheeks and Ethan stepped to open the door. “Let’s go before he starts telling embarrassing stories.”

Samson’s laugher followed us out the door as Ethan pulled the door closed. “And now you’ve met my brother.”

The ride over to Jared’s was tense and quiet. When we got there, I’d just cut the engine and started to get out of the car, when Ethan spoke, “Nara, after the experiences in the library and the parking lot, I’m worried Fate might’ve changed tactics.”

I paused, my fingers tightening on the door handle. “What do you mean?”

He shook his head, his face rigid. “Something just doesn’t feel right.”

The party was in full swing, the music thumping inside the huge house. I glanced at the huge five-thousand-square foot house, tension building inside me. “I have to do this. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try to save Lainey.”

He gave a resigned sigh. “I know. Let’s go.”

As we walked up the driveway from the road, Ethan commented, “I’m surprised his parents allow him to have a party during the week, especially with a game coming up tomorrow night.”

Cool wind blew right through my sweater, making me wish I hadn’t ditched my coat. “Jared’s parents are big partiers. Supposedly they start partying on Thursday night and go through Saturday. I guarantee they aren’t even here.”

Standing on the porch, I skimmed Ethan’s edgy stance. “You going to be okay with all these people?”

“I’ll be fine,” he said in a clipped tone.

“Thanks for coming.” I hoped he knew I was sincere. The porch light’s glow shrouded his face in darkness, but I could tell he was studying my face.

He stepped close. “She’d better appreciate your friendship.”

I took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

Cups of beer were shoved in our hands the moment we walked in the door. Lainey squealed our names and ran over, babbling, “More friends.” I could tell she was already tipsy.

“You
have
to meet everyone, Ethan,” she insisted. Grabbing Ethan’s arm, she dragged him to the basement where most of the partiers were.

Wincing, I thought of all the people he would brush against tonight. I hoped he could handle all the dark energy that would flow his way.

Several of my teammates were in the kitchen playing flip cup with a half dozen football players. I leaned against the doorjamb and watched Sophia flip her lipstick-stained cup with ease. She might be drinking, but she was more sober than Lainey. My gaze narrowed. Definitely in control and fully aware what she was doing…which was currently leaning down so Jared, who was across from her, got a full view of her good-sized breasts, nicely framed by her V-neck shirt.

I’d never wanted to rip someone’s hair out as much as I did at that moment, but I promised myself I would let certain events unfold naturally for Lainey’s own good.

Jared grabbed a grape from the table behind him and tossed it across the flip cup table and into Sophia’s shirt. The guys went wild with hoots and catcalls. I walked out. I might not plan to get involved, but I wasn’t going to watch it progress downhill either.

Dumping my beer in a nearby potted plant, I passed through a cloud of pot smoke floating from the bathroom area. In the living room, Miranda was sandwiched between two wrestlers on the couch. All three held cigarettes and were apparently competing for the biggest smoke ring. Ignoring them, I headed downstairs.

The music’s bass thumped even louder in the basement, and a whole group of people danced drunkenly on one side of the big room, while several guys were playing a serious game of foosball on the other side. Two sophomore boys from the JV football team manned the bar in the middle, pumping the keg and handing out beer to the juniors and seniors like it was water.

True to her word, Lainey was introducing Ethan around. Walking up to them, I said, “I’ll take over so you can have fun, Lainey.”

“Okaaaay, great. Be right back,” Lainey slurred slightly before she grabbed another cup of beer, then ran upstairs.

Standing near the group of people dancing, I glanced down at Ethan’s cup, saw the beer was half gone and raised my eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t drink?”

Ethan set the cup down on a side table and pointed to an alcove between the stairs and the bathroom. Following him, we ducked into the shadows underneath the stairs. I was surprised how much the small space blocked out a lot of the noise.

“I’m going to pay for this for a month.”

He sounded so disgruntled, I grimaced. “I’m sorry.”

Placing his arm on the angled wall above my head, Ethan moved close, forcing me to step back. He bent down and inhaled near my hair. “That’s nothing compared to the torture of not being able to touch you.”

My heart pounded at his closeness. In my dream, I was at the party by myself. Lifting my chin, I greedily inhaled his clean scent. I’d missed his amazing smell. Pent-up emotions arced between us.

When I turned my head at the same time he did and our lips almost met, I sighed away yearnings and tried to break the tension. “It really bothers me that you’re not in my dreams. I’m scared Fate will go after you next and we won’t have any warning.”

Ethan leaned back. “I have no idea why I’m not in your dreams. It’s been driving me crazy, but not because I fear Fate.” Desperate sadness reflected in his gaze. “It’s like I don’t exist in your life, Nara. At least not in your future. That terrifies me.”