Brightly (Flicker #2) (45 page)

Clementine paused. “What are you, then?”

“I’m a doctor. I thought the mask would’ve given it away. Did you really think I was here to arrest you?”

“We don’t know what to think,” said Davis. “Why did the Guild send you?”

“In Seattle, we received reports of a curse in the San Juan Islands,” Amelia explained. “A curse that’s causing an unknown illness. The case was assigned to me. I’m here for the preliminary investigation.”

“Where did these
reports
come from?” Davis asked, frowning.

“The local fey. Selkies are terrible gossips, but their information isn’t always very
clear
, so I spent the better part of a week sailing around the archipelago, trying to ferret out exactly where the curse was. Mostly, that involved talking to a lot more selkies. They pointed me here. And they told me about you and the work you do on this island.”

“You said you’re here for the… preliminary investigation,” Jason said. “What does that mean?”

“My assignment is to document the curse, see what I can do for the victims with the tools I have and report back to the Guild so they can decide on the next step.”

When the four of them just continued to stare at her in silence, Amelia heaved a sigh and shifted her grip on the metal mask. Sunlight flashed off the smooth, gleaming surface.

“I’m not here to drag you back to the Guildhall,” she said. “My instructions don’t involve undocumented practitioners. They involve a curse. Nothing more. I don’t know how to convince you of that. Mind you, I don’t
have
to assure you of anything—but I’d much rather we cooperate and work together as long as I’m here, since you can provide me with information that I’d have to waste precious time finding out for myself. What can I do to ease your concerns?”

Alice looked to the others. “The threshold is very strong.”

“Right,” Clementine said slowly. Then her eyes widened. “
Right.
It is.”

Like the threshold in the apartment at Flicker, the magical energy flowing through this house would bar anyone from entering with ill intent. None of them could sense deception like Nasser—but the house could.

“If you can cross the threshold,” Davis said diplomatically, “we’d be more inclined to believe what you’ve told us.”

“Is that all? Certainly.” Amelia paused, as if trying to figure out what their game was. Then she stepped inside the house, the heels of her boots tapping against the floor. The threshold let her through without so much as a crackle. “Well? Do I pass?”

Davis blinked slowly. “For now.”

Amelia smiled. “That’s all I needed to hear. Now,” she said, looking them over. “Shall we get started?”

It was their sixth day in the cavern, and Henry had finally talked Lee into leaving the ward. If she tried her tracking spell farther away, he said, maybe she would get a reaction. Maybe the salt was just out of range. Maybe they would be able to find it and complete the spell.

At this point, Filo doubted the salt would reappear, and he thought Lee did, too. But there was no good reason not to try. Once Filo had assured her that he would look after Nasser as carefully as she would, she finally agreed to go with Henry.

The trouble was that Filo wasn’t really sure of how to look after Nasser anymore, beyond letting him doze and pestering him to drink more water whenever he stirred. Nasser hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning. At first, he’d been able to handle the broth, but now, even that made him throw up. He drank water, but not enough. Filo could tell just by looking at him that he was dehydrated. It was like the fever was burning everything out of him but the infection.

Filo was staring grimly into the trees and wondering how long they could live in this place—years, probably, if the river water didn’t kill them as soon as they ran out of purification tablets, if they could find or build shelter—when Nasser spoke.

“Come here for a minute.” Even Nasser’s voice was weak. He was propped up against two backpacks because he wasn’t strong enough to sit up by himself. “I need to talk to you about something.”

Obediently, Filo went to him, sitting on the ground beside his sleeping bag. Nasser looked worse than he had just this morning. Despite the fever, he was always shivering. His skin was flushed with heat, but the veins in his neck and at his temples stood out blue and terrible. The swelling in his leg continued to increase, and the wounds were starting to smell like rot. With every hour that passed, he was in more pain.

“I’m getting worse,” Nasser said, so gently that it stung, as if Filo were the one lying on the ground with a mangled leg. He sounded so tired. “I’ve got red streaks crawling up my leg. The infection’s spreading. It’s probably in the bone by now, too. You know what that means.”

Filo shook his head, not because he didn’t know, but because he refused to acknowledge it. “I know you’re sick, but—”

“No, Filo,” Nasser said, his voice hard. “I’m
dying
.”

At that, Filo dropped his gaze. It was a cowardly impulse, he knew, but for the moment, he didn’t fight it. When he looked at Nasser, it was impossible to deny how sick he was. Staring at the ground, he could almost pretend.

“It might take a few hours,” Nasser continued. “It might take a few days. But before long, the infection will hit my heart or my lungs or my brain, and then I’ll be gone. I need you to understand that so you won’t be surprised.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Filo whispered.

“There’s nothing left to do. And that’s okay. We did everything we could. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all right.”

“No,” Filo protested, so startled that he looked up. Even now, Nasser was trying to comfort
him
. “It’s not all right. Salt and sage—”

With a small shake of his head, Nasser silenced him. “When it happens, don’t worry about my body. Leave it and find those damn crystals. I know I’m the reason you haven’t been looking like you should, but you won’t have to worry about that anymore. Find a substitute to complete the spell. There has to be a substance in these caves that you can use in place of salt, and soon, you’ll be able to look for it. You’re smart. You can figure something out. Then you can go home.”

Filo winced. “Not without you.”

“I’m serious, Filo. I need you to promise that, once I go—”

“No,” Filo said, louder than he meant to. He was clenching his fists against his legs. “I’m not promising anything. I’m not giving you permission to keel over.”

“I don’t need your permission,” Nasser said softly.

For a minute, they were both silent. Filo could hear Nasser breathing, shallow and fast.

“Please, Filo. Do this for me. Lee will—” Nasser’s voice tightened. “She’ll want to take the body back. She’ll want to come back for it, but you can’t let her. It’s not worth it. You need to get out of this place as soon as you can. You have to make her leave it.”

The words turned to buzzing in Filo’s ears. His heart slammed against his ribs. “I can’t do this,” he whispered, his voice dangerously thin.

“Yes, you can.”

Filo started shaking his head. “Nasser, I can’t—”
I can’t do this without you,
he wanted to say, but his mouth couldn’t form the words. He was fourteen again, and Nasser was telling him that he had to go. Filo didn’t cry then, as much as he’d wanted to. He’d wanted to hate Nasser for leaving, but he could never manage that, not really.

“I need you to remember some things for me,” Nasser said. “I know it’s a big thing, and I’m sorry to put it on you. But I’m going to trust you with this. Okay?”

It was a long moment before Filo nodded. “Okay.”

“Tell Jason that I love him and that he’ll be all right.”

“I will.”

“Tell Alice that I don’t blame her. She’ll want to blame herself, but none of this is her fault. I wanted to come here. I was glad to do that for her. I would’ve done more if I could. Make sure she knows that.”

“I’ll tell her.”

“And Lee…” Nasser swallowed. He grimaced, like it hurt, but that didn’t seem to be the only thing hurting him. “She’s going to take it hard. I need you to be there for her. You’re all going to have to take care of each other now. Can you do that?”

“I can. We will.” Filo felt like he was choking.

The ghost of a smile touched Nasser’s mouth. He looked almost relieved. That was what twisted in Filo’s chest.

“When we first came to Flicker,” Nasser said, “Jason was all I had. Nothing else mattered. He was the most important thing to me. But there you were. You and Alice. I couldn’t even talk to you for months, until you started to figure out English again. You were just these little kids nobody was taking care of, these kids who didn’t trust me, but I lived with you. I saw you every day. I got to know you. And all of a sudden, Jason wasn’t the only thing I had anymore.” Nasser smiled—a thin, wobbly smile. “I’m really glad I met you. I’m going to miss you.”

Filo’s eyes burned. It hurt to breathe. “Don’t say that.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from them,” Nasser whispered, and Filo didn’t have to ask who he meant. “I’m sorry I left you. I thought you would be safer at Flicker than you would be with me, but I was wrong. You were mine, just like Jason is mine. I was supposed to take care of you, but I didn’t. I’m so sorry. I always meant to tell you.”

“You don’t have to—”

Nasser shushed him, gently. He squeezed Filo’s shoulder with one hand, the way he used to when Filo was young, when they still lived together. Back then, he hugged Alice and ruffled Jason’s hair often, but that kind of closeness made Filo go rigid, so Nasser took a different approach, one Filo could handle. Clapping Filo on the shoulder was the closest Nasser could get to embracing him.

This time, Filo found himself reaching up and covering Nasser’s hand with his own. He felt himself shaking, everything falling out of place.

“I know they made you believe that you belonged to them,” Nasser said. “But that’s not true. Nothing about you belongs to them. No part of you came from them. You turned out much too good for that to be true.”

Filo shook his head. “They gave me my name. They made me what I am.”

Never mind that they had stolen his old life, his old name, and replaced it all with their own inventions. Filo’s name was fake, a name that no creature could use to compel him. His entire life was a construction. Filo Shine didn’t exist before Neman and Morgan dreamed him up and stuck his identity onto their nameless changeling boy. But he was alive now. He lived the life they had given him every day. He didn’t know how to be anyone else.

“They didn’t love you,” Nasser said. His eyes were as soft as Filo had ever seen them. “And that counts.”

The words felt like a scrape. They felt like the truth.

“You’re not theirs, Filo. You were never really theirs.”

“What am I, then?”

Nasser smiled ruefully and squeezed Filo’s shoulder again, tighter. “I think you get to decide that.”

Afternoon sunlight had turned the woods to gold when the elk appeared. Lee stiffened when she saw it standing among the trees, though it was beautiful—or maybe
because
it was beautiful.

The elk was taller than Lee, its fur a white so pure it seemed to glow, the smooth lines of its body shining where the light touched it. Its antlers were dark branches, covered in flower buds. On her best day, Lee thought, she couldn’t have drawn a lovelier creature. Looking at it made her eyes water.

It looked past Lee, to Henry. Step by step, the elk approached him.

“There you are,” Henry breathed, so softly that Lee almost didn’t hear him. “Oh, you’re beautiful.”

Lee took a step back when the elk reached them. Bending its great head, the elk nuzzled Henry’s face affectionately, its nostrils flaring. He reached up to stroke its long, white neck.

“I didn’t know it would be you,” he said, apparently to the elk. “I was waiting, but I didn’t know if anyone could hear me. I thought it didn’t work here. God, look at you. You’re perfect.”

“Did you call him?” Lee asked, keeping her voice low.

Henry nodded absently. He was slowly brushing one hand across the elk’s antlers, looking almost worshipful. “Not him in particular. Just someone like him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Someone who listens and talks. But there are hardly any animals in this place. That’s why they haven’t been crowding around the ward. The bear won’t come back. It’s mostly birds and rabbits. I’ve been calling for days. It took him a long time to get here.”

“Henry, you’re not making any sense. Why did you call it?”

He didn’t seem to hear the question. He just glanced over his shoulder at her. His eyes were bright and strange. “You can touch him, if you want. He doesn’t mind. He knows how beautiful he is.”

“That’s okay.” Lee hugged herself with one arm.

The elk lifted its head and gazed down at Henry with huge, dark eyes. For a long minute, Henry looked back, one hand still resting on the elk’s graceful neck. Then the animal turned and walked soundlessly into the woods, light dappling its fur.