Bringing Delaney Home (Cates Brothers #1) (29 page)

“Oh, God, I could have helped them. And I didn’t. I didn’t.” With the floodgates open, the memories poured in, but so too did the pain and guilt. The air ripped from her lungs, and a guttural sob escaped from her chest. “It was my fault Nan and Lopez died.”

Quinn wrapped himself behind her, just like at the cemetery, his arms tight like a life jacket around her. She hadn’t even known she needed him until he was there holding her. The solid wall of his chest like a steel truss supporting her. “No, Delaney. No. It wasn’t your fault.”

“He’s right, Captain Lyons.” Another figure walked up on the stage, a man she recognized right away. This time.

“Doc Gary?” Her face streaked with tears, Delaney walked into his open arms and let his embrace wrap her up. “Oh God, that was you in the diner.”

“Yes. Delaney, Quinn’s right. You couldn’t have saved Nan or Lopez.”

She stepped out of his arms and away, shaking her head. “I heard her. She called out to me. Begged me. And I didn’t do a thing to help her.”

Gary shook his head, his gaze firm on hers. “She was closer to the blast than you. The after-action report determined Nan and Airman Lopez died instantly.”

“What?” Her jaw clenched tight, trying to stop her teeth from chattering. She wrapped her arms tight around herself. Tighter still as tremors vibrated through her limbs, threatening to shatter her body in every direction, as the memories her brain had blocked out for months flooded in. “Airman Lopez was eighteen. Just a kid. His squad called him Opie because of his ears. And Nan. She looked like Beyoncé and had a wicked sense of humor. I can still see Lopez blushing at Nan’s risqué jokes the last time we all ran together around camp.”

“It wasn’t your fault. Nan and Lopez didn’t have a chance. The bomb squad said initial reports of a roadside bomb were wrong.”

“I remember. I remember now.” Delaney’s body and mind numb. The something heavy that slammed into her? Not a sandbag—but Layla’s body, broken and bloodied. She hadn’t been frozen in fear, but weighted down, trapped under Layla’s lifeless body. “Layla. Sweet Layla only ten years old. They told me someone strapped a vest full of explosives on her and sent her our way. It was too horrible to believe.”

“So your brain shut out what it couldn’t handle.” Doc Gary’s gaze met hers in total understanding. Both had seen unimaginable things. “I’m sorry I set off your panic attack. I didn’t know about the amnesia.”

“Not your fault.” Delaney closed her eyes, the loss of her friends freshly painful, like a wound flayed open. Too newly exposed to deal with now. Months ago, her brain had walled the memories off in a desperate act of self-preservation. Now, her heart gathered the memories, carefully tucking them away to give them the proper attention they deserved later, in private. “It’s good to see you, Doc. I’m sorry I didn’t return your email, but—”

“I’ve got a few friends at Walter Reed.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I checked up on you. You were their rock-star patient—until you checked out. I came here figuring I’d kick your butt back in line.”

“A month ago, I needed a kick in the behind, Doc.” Her lips tilted up the slightest bit at the corners. “But Greer and Quinn here did it for you.”

“Well, good.” Doc Gary nodded. “Am I too late to place a bid in the auction?”

“Oh, whoa, the auction.” Delaney looked around seeing the last stragglers in the audience heading for the exits. She grimaced, glancing over at Barbara. “I’m sorry, Barbara. I didn’t mean to mess up your auction.”

“And yet, you did. I swear, Delaney, if your story wasn’t so sad, I’d be darn upset with you for upstaging me. Again.” She sighed and strolled over between Quinn and Doc Gary, locking elbows with them. “But I think I can forgive you this time, especially since I couldn’t help but notice Quinn didn’t bid on you.”

Something she’d noticed too, before the light exploded. Delaney’s gaze landed on Quinn. “Did you spend all your money on whiskey and loose women this week? Why didn’t you put a single bid in for me? I mean, not that you had to.”

Quinn rubbed one hand along the back of his neck. “Well, about that—I didn’t think you wanted me to bid on you. You told me last week you weren’t good enough for me. That I needed to move on and find someone who could offer me a better future.”

“Oh. That would explain the hot blonde.” Delaney had to remind herself to breathe. And breathe again. “Okay, so you’re moving on. Good for you.”

“Good for me?” Quinn’s gaze held Delaney’s hostage. There was restless movement from Quinn’s brothers.

“I’m . . . I’m happy for you.” Delaney looked around as groans erupted from the brothers. Quinn, of course, just kept staring at her as if he was trying to read her mind.

“You’re happy for me?” Quinn clenched his jaw tight. “Well, that’s nice.”

Mama Cates swooped in with an arm around Delaney. “Cake and coffee at our place, everyone. Greer, boys. Doc Gary, that goes for you too.”

Exhaustion hit like a sudden downpour, and Delaney was too tired to puzzle out what Quinn was angry about. Greer wrapped an arm around her other side, and she let them lead her out. Seamus escorted Barbara out with them.

Quinn stood, his gaze tracking Delaney’s exit, his mood growing darker. Each step she took widened the chasm between them. When the doors swung shut behind them, he turned to find his brothers and Doc Gary lined up, ready to share their unwanted opinions.

“Dumb plan trying to make Delaney jealous, little bro.” Sijan shook his head. “That sure backfired, huh?”

“He got the dreaded ‘I’m happy for you.’ Pretty hard to come back from that,” Tynan said. “Stupid plan.”

“It wasn’t a plan.” Quinn shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from strangling his brothers.

“No kidding,” Kaz said.

“Oh, bite me.” Quinn knew he’d made a thousand missteps with Delaney. He didn’t need them to point it out.

“So, who was the hot blonde you used to make Delaney jealous?” Sijan asked. “Don’t leave us hanging.”

“I did not try to make Delaney jealous, and I have no idea who the blonde is. She was looking for you, Si. Some groupie, I guess.”

Doc Gary did a double take when he realized who Sijan was. “Oh, hey, we just watched one of your movies in camp.
Private Eyes
. It was good. It’s funny, Delaney never mentioned knowing you.”

“She does not impress easy, our Delaney.
Private Eyes
, huh? Hell, that movie is ancient,” Sijan said. “Ancient, but damn good.”

“We’re stationed in Afghanistan. All we get is ancient movies, but we still appreciate them.”

“Doc Gary, how would you like it if I sent you back with my newest movie? It doesn’t even open in theaters for two months.” Sijan wrapped his arms around both Kaz and Doc Gary’s shoulders and headed for the exit.

Paxton walked over to stand in front of Quinn.

“I’m not sure what else to do, Pax. I mean, she’s dealing with some heavy stuff, but I can’t get her to trust me enough to lean on me.”

“You know how great Ma and Pop were raising us? How lucky we were?” Paxton looked directly into Quinn’s eyes. “Delaney had none of that. Can you imagine?”

Quinn’s gut clenched at the thought. “One day, I went by their house to ask Greer to play. I was maybe six or seven. The front door sat open behind the broken screen door. I saw him yelling at Delaney. And then he hit her. So hard. She didn’t shed a tear. He knocked her down and she jumped up, putting herself between him and Greer. I was scared. I rang the doorbell and kept on ringing it. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I’ve seen the same thing as a public defender. The only way you live through cruelty like that is to build a big, strong wall for defense. It’s slow going breaking through a wall that big.”

“Tell me about it.” Quinn headed up the aisle with Paxton.

“You know we all used to think you were crazy, the crush you had on Delaney, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Crazy like a nuclear physicist, apparently. You saw something there when none of the rest of us bothered to look. Now that we’ve gotten to know Delaney, we’re a little jealous. Why didn’t we see a girl that great sitting right under our noses?”

“Uh-uh. I did not work this hard to let you steal my girl. You go find your own girl. Or, go find that blonde looking for Sijan. I don’t know what that’s all about, but there’s something about her worth looking into.”

“Honest?” Paxton looked interested. “Don’t tell Si that until I have a chance to meet her, otherwise I’m toast. But how about we secure Delaney in the family first?”

“That’s my plan.”

“I saw those big brown eyes of hers when you said you were moving on. Do not fall for those, you hear me? Stay strong. Lose the battle. Win the war.”

Chapter Thirty

A
n hour later, Delaney sat in the Cateses’ living room, her mood growing darker by the minute. Where was that optimistic outlook on life she had been marveling at a few days ago? God, she felt so much like when Quinn had first brought her back to Climax, only it had nothing to do with her foot. Holy heck, was she crying now? She raised a hand to her cheek, shocked when it came away wet.
Well, bite me
. She escaped down the hall to her temporary bedroom, throwing herself back on the bed and angrily brushing away her tears.

The tangled emotions grew, like an over-inflated balloon inside her chest. She felt as if she might explode in every direction, like a star gone supernova. A big, fat, messy deal. Time to triage. Okay, up first, the unearthed memories and fresh pain they brought were already boxed up and set aside to deal with later. She needed to unwrap those when she had time to grieve and say good-bye.

Barbara was shoved to the side too, and not gently either. She and Barbara were destined to stay oil and vinegar, and not in a salad dressing kind of way.

And that left Quinn. What the hell was she going to do about Quinn?

Her pity party was interrupted by a tap on the door before it swung open. She popped her back up from the mattress, trying to look unaffected since normal had probably never been in her cards. She relaxed a little, seeing it was Greer, until Mama Cates followed in behind her.

Delaney threw herself back again, staring at the ceiling. “I’ve made a mess of everything.”

“Hey, no one knows how they’ll react to trauma.” Greer sat next to her, patting her knee in comfort. “It feels crazy, but every one of your reactions has been normal. Totally nor—”

“I meant with Quinn,” Delaney said.

“Oh, thank God.” Greer patted her knee again. “Yes, you messed up with Quinn, but it’s salvageable.”

“Of course it is.” Mama Cates perched on the chair angled near the bed. “First off, dear, what do you want? Look to your heart, not just your head.”

She sat up and took in a deep breath. “I want Quinn. But I think he’s changed his mind about me. I mean, why didn’t he place a single bid?”

Greer looked at her. “He already pushed his chips into the pot weeks ago. All in. He’s got nothing left.”

“It’s your move, Delaney.” Mama Cates was soft yet firm. “He’s waiting for a move from you.”

“He is. I blew it, didn’t I?” She jerked up off the bed to pace, remembering the way he had looked at her, waiting for something. . . . “Oh, God, I said I was happy for him.”

“Yeah, that was dumb.” Greer shook her head.

Delaney recalled the clipped tone of his voice when he’d said, “That’s nice.” She groaned. “I don’t think ‘sorry’ is what he’s looking for either.”

Her sister snorted. “You might as well ask him to turn over his man card if you think an apology will do it.”

“Quinn needs to know he means something to you.” Mama Cates walked over and cupped Delaney’s cheeks with her hands. “He needs to hear it from you. You’ve been
it
for him for so long, long before you even noticed him. And everyone told him he was crazy. Everyone. For years. Do you have something to say to him? Because he needs to hear it, dear.”

“Yes.” She nodded. “Yes. I have something to say to him.” She took a quick breath, straightened her clothes, and marched with determination out of the bedroom and back to the living room.

Delaney walked right over to Quinn and tapped him on the shoulder, then backed up a few feet. She needed a buffer between her brain and the wild attraction to Quinn that threatened her ability to think straight. Everyone had their breaking point, and she wouldn’t blame Quinn if he’d reached his. How much rejection could a guy take? She’d been a coward for too long.
What would happen if you let go and trusted me?
She was about to find out. “Excuse me, Quinlan Cates, I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.”

Quinn and his brothers stopped talking. With his face scrubbed of emotion, Quinn leaned his back in the leather arm chair, his arms crossed over his chest, patiently waiting.

“Wait a minute now, Delaney. We have a few things to say to you first.” Tynan moved to stand next to Quinn’s chair. “I think I’d like to know your intentions toward my brother. I mean, it’s a little demeaning for such an upstanding officer of the law to be someone’s wild monkey sex on the side, you know?”

“I’m pretty sure my ego can take that—” Quinn tried to say.

Sijan stepped forward, too. “I think it’s a fair question. Unless you’re just going to tell him how happy you are for him again and then step aside for the hot blonde to pick him up. I think he’d rather have Tynan shoot him than hear that again.”

“Okay, well they’re right about th—” Quinn tried to agree.

“Damn right, I’d put him out of his misery. No guy should have to live through that twice,” Tynan said.

Paxton stepped up next to Sijan. “Last I heard, you didn’t think you had much of a future. Have you put any thought into that? Cops don’t make a lot of money. I’d like to know how you’re going to help support him.”

Quinn rolled his eyes. “My salary is just f—”

“Quinn, do you mind? I’d like to know if you’re planning to stay in the Army. We’re pretty attached to Quinn, and we’d all like to know if he’ll be moving away.” Kaz filled out the line of Cates brothers.

“Kaz, would you stop?” Quinn stood, pushing his way through the line of his brothers.