Bringing Elizabeth Home (2 page)

We recognize that when we decided to utilize the media in our search for Elizabeth, we automatically gave up control over our story. It was a trade-off—one that we understand. We never wanted to be in the public eye. We would have been very content to have led the rest of our lives having never given a media update, an interview, or a public plea for the safe return of our daughter. But that isn't how things worked out. Elizabeth was kidnapped. As parents, we would have done anything for her safe return. Aside from God's help, the media was the most important instrument in bringing our daughter home. We were able to keep Elizabeth's name, photo, and story alive even when all the evidence pointed in a darker direction. Though our story is filled with many incredible twists and turns, we never lost focus on what was important: bringing Elizabeth home.

Once Elizabeth was found, we believed—however naively— that was the end of the story. There was no way to effectively turn off the media spotlight we had been under for nine months. Elizabeth has a long, bright future, and we want to protect her in as many ways as we can so that she can have a “normal” life. There have been so many outrageous, hurtful, and salacious stories about what really happened with respect to the kidnapping and the investigation, and now that Elizabeth is home we simply cannot allow those stories to stand. We are telling the story from our perspective so that, at the very least, we as a family gain some control over the information and misinformation that has been circulating now for well over a year. This book is a true account of what we endured in the nine months that Elizabeth was missing. Others may choose to tell a different version of what happened during those nine months, and there is very little we can do to stop those efforts. What we can do is speak our truth. We cooperated in the production of the CBS movie that tells a shortened and modified version of Elizabeth's story, but this book contains the genuine facts of what actually happened.

Every one of us has the ability to make choices in life, but in making those choices we also have to live by them. When a story goes public, there is very little anyone can do to control the way that story is told or the opinions that are formulated as a result of media attention, especially when that attention reaches massive proportions, as it did in our case. We are so grateful for the help we received from all of our friends in the media, especially those who supported our search in every possible way. By writing this book, we risk the chance that our integrity may be challenged. It wouldn't be the first time. We endured that kind of public scrutiny the first few months Elizabeth was gone. When you lose a child the way we did, your honesty and integrity are the first things people question. There were so many unsubstantiated rumors about our family, our daughter, and the abduction. We lived through all of them. But in view of the situation, we feel that Elizabeth should not have to suffer one more minute of pain from her ordeal, nor should her own honesty and integrity ever be challenged.

Our decision to write this book was made as a family—to ensure that the story be told the right way, with tremendous appreciation for all of those who kept Elizabeth in their prayers, deep gratitude to those who volunteered their time to help us search for our daughter, and humble admiration for the investigators, police officers, detectives, and FBI agents who kept the search going until Elizabeth was found. But the main reason we wrote this book was to give infinite thanks to our Heavenly Father for answering our prayers.

Chapter 3

Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God,
at His disposition, and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts.

—MOTHER TERESA

W
E BELIEVE THE LORD
hears everyone's prayers. There are good, decent people from all walks of life, in all religions, with many different beliefs. We don't feel that the Lord answered our prayers because we are special, righteous, chosen, or because we are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. There are good people and not so good people in every religion and in all walks of life. Brian David Mitchell had been a member of the church but was excommunicated because his beliefs became radical and self-serving. He had been slowly digressing for years. We have all made our share of mistakes and will probably continue to, but along the way, we'd like to believe that we are improving as people, as husband and wife, as parents, friends, and community leaders. Our parents raised us to believe in God, to have faith, and to rely on the word of the Lord. We have raised our children the same way, and we hope and pray that our legacy continues when we have grandchildren and great-grandchildren. All we can hope for is that we have done what is right as parents and role models for our children. When you're young, you rely on the adults in your life to lead by example. At some point, it is hoped, you discover what you think and believe on your own. That's how you go forward in life.

Faith ebbs and flows. There were many times after Elizabeth disappeared when we both felt our faith was being tested. We questioned the greater meaning of why we were faced with this extreme adversity. It forced us to face our weaknesses, our inadequacies, and every time we felt low, we both wondered how Elizabeth was coping. We never let our minds wander to those dark thoughts for long. We wanted to believe that Elizabeth was being protected and watched over, that she was being helped. That was the motivation to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and face the next day. We had no choice. We had to be there, together, strong, and prepared—just in case this was the day Elizabeth came home. In the long run, it strengthened our faith and made us aware of our weaknesses and shortcomings. There were so many times in prayer when we felt as if we were pleading for life—for Elizabeth's life, our lives, and the life of everyone around us. We asked our Heavenly Father for forgiveness and for the strength to go on. We humbly asked for the courage to face the days when we had no answers.

The story of Elizabeth's kidnapping has been a mystery—complete with suspects, detectives, and a surprise ending—and even now it is still unfolding. It is a dark, disturbing tale. It is a journey of hope and faith, an odyssey filled with good and evil, shadow and light. It is a story we hope people will still be talking about one hundred years from now—not because it is about our daughter, but because it is a story about all of us. It is a remarkable saga of a community and a country banding together in collective prayer and coming together with a common goal: to bring Elizabeth home.

So many people shared their thoughts and prayers with our family when Elizabeth was kidnapped. It came to feel as if the entire world was praying for our daughter. We received tens of thousands of letters from people who said this story impacted their lives. Perhaps our mission is to help bring people closer to one another—and closer to God—through the telling of our experience. The letters we received during the nine months gave us strength and helped us remember that we had the faith of all of you to carry us through. These letters were amazing. They began arriving from people all over the world before we had any idea that our story was global. The unified sentiment was to “keep the faith.” And we did. Thank you to all of you who took the time to write to us and share your thoughts, feelings, and heartfelt prayers. Your letters were truly a priceless gift to us.

There is nothing as pure as the faith of a child. Among these many thousands of letters, incredibly it was the letters we received from children that most reminded us not to give up hope. Children have an unbelievable gift. Their thoughts are so honest and untainted. Of course Elizabeth would come home, they felt. It was their expectation. One of our young nieces said to us, “They stole her body but not her soul.” How profound and true. It filled our hearts to read those letters and be reminded of the beautiful simplicity of that pure faith.

We've had to make numerous difficult decisions in our lives, but none as hard as the ones we've made over the past year and a half. To understand our choices, we feel it is important that you know how we came to make them. We are deeply religious people. We have raised our children to believe in the same core beliefs that we both grew up with. It is relevant and essential to learn some of the foundations of our religious beliefs so that our story transcends the boundaries of religion and stretches into what became a stronger belief in a higher being and a better understanding of our faith. To us, the best and most effective way to share our beliefs is to live them.

As with all religions, there are certain basic tenets that constitute the core of our faith, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Our faith is founded on a belief in God—that we are all His children and that He is always there for us. Beyond the basic doctrines of the church, we often create our own individual codes of conduct based on what brings us, as individuals, closer to God. As church members we are taught to study things in our own minds and to rely on personal revelation. We are given commandments and basic guidelines of conduct by the Lord, but the details of how we interpret and carry out those principles are between us, our families, and the Lord. As Latter-Day Saints, we have a language that is specific to our beliefs, so throughout this book, some of the terms we refer to may not be immediately familiar. We will make a point to explain those terms so that you'll know what we're talking about. For example, we refer to our home church congregation as a “ward.” Wards are groups of members who are led by a bishop, his two counselors, and other ward leaders. It's a lay ministry. Each ward is given a name that is unique to its area. The ward that we attend is the Arlington Hills ward. Its members make up our ward family. While Elizabeth was missing, members from our ward and other wards from all over Utah and surrounding states came out in strong support to help our search effort.

Our community in Salt Lake City is made up of faithful people—faithful people of all religious backgrounds, not just Mormons. We were amazed by how quickly our community, and so many others, stepped up to help with our search efforts, donating food, water, tents, flashlights—and most of all, their time. In addition, many organizations and clubs allowed us use of their planes, helicopters, search dogs, and horses in our search. We marveled at how everyone came out to show support and lend a helping hand. Our oldest son, Charles, often pointed out that people he would have never expected to see were turning up day after day to help look for his sister. We had always thought of ourselves as little pebbles in a huge lake. We thought that nobody really knew us and that we were just an average family leading an average life. The first day we searched for Elizabeth, more than a thousand people turned out to help us look. By the following Monday, there were over eight thousand searchers! There couldn't have been more love anywhere in the world that day than there was in Salt Lake City.

The mission of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is to “invite all to come unto Christ” (D&C 20:59) “and be perfected in him” (Moroni 10:32). We study scripture from the Bible, including the Old Testament and the New Testament, as well as the Book of Mormon and other scriptures, which represent the continuing of Revelation. The Book of Mormon is a companion volume and a second witness of Christ.

Pray in your families unto the Father, always in my name
that your wives and your children may be blessed.

—3 NEPHI 18:21

Our beliefs place a tremendous emphasis on families and family life. The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. Husbands and wives have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. As parents, we have been taught to raise our children in love and righteousness and to teach them to love and serve one another. Happiness in our family is achieved through the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. It is achieved and maintained on the principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, and work.

To have a family member go missing was excruciating for us, as it has been for so many other parents. Because we believe that marriages and families have an eternal bond, extending beyond death, we are considered to be a family for all of eternity. Husbands and wives who marry in the Temple are sealed together. Children who are born to parents who have been married in the Temple are likewise considered to be part of the eternal family unit. We make a special point of sharing this with you because it played a big part in helping us, as Elizabeth's family, cope with her disappearance. The belief in an eternal family gave us great hope that we would one day be reunited with our daughter—whether here on earth or in the hereafter.

Ye are commanded in all things to ask of God, who giveth liberally.

—D&C 46:7

We know that to some of you the ideas and principles associated with being members of our church may seem unusual—maybe even hard to understand. For us, they are a way of life. We have lived as members of our church our whole lives, and we are grateful for our heritage, beliefs, and relationship with God. Ours is a religion that emphasizes freedom of choice. We are not perfect people. We are two humans who continue to grow on a daily basis, making choices along the way that we can live by.

Did we ever ask why this was happening to us? All the time. We had many more questions than answers. We're not sure that we expected an actual answer to “why” Elizabeth was taken from us, but through those kinds of questions we were summoning spiritual strength and pleading for the power to endure. Enduring, on some levels, meant that we had to accept that the situation was out of our hands. We were doing everything we could to bring Elizabeth home. Scriptures teach us that there are many things we can do to improve the line of communication between ourselves and the Lord. These include fasting and praying. Fasting is a practice whereby your spirit becomes more in tune with God. It's a form of self-discipline. Your spirit is in control, not your body. Your body needs food for nourishment. Your spirit needs a different kind of nourishment gained through a strong relationship with the Lord. Fasting invites the spirit of revelation. Through prayer and fasting, our faith was significantly strengthened, and we were more at peace knowing that this was bigger than we were and that it was in the Lord's hands and out of our control.