Brock: A Bad Boy Romance (125 page)

HEAL ME

Chapter 1

“I want you to know that I will always be there for you. I would walk through hell and protect you with my life. You know, as well as I do that we can’t stay here. I’m sure that you heard the stories about the horsemen and you thought that they were all a myth or some kind of legend. I have to admit, I was also skeptical, but I did a couple a jobs with them and let’s just say that they are not exactly easy to deal with. I might have ice water running through my veins, but they don’t care about anybody, but themselves. They rely on one another and having a team might be beneficial, but in the long run I believe that being alone is better.” Jordan could say that, but everything changed when Lila came into the picture. He didn’t know it at that time, but he was screwed this way to Sunday.

Lila watched Jordan pace back and forth and she could literally see the gears inside of his head moving very quickly. “We’re never going to be safe. I’ve heard of these horsemen, but I never believed for a second that they were real. I always thought that Jamison said these things just to keep the girls in line.”
“I don’t want to tell him how much I enjoyed shooting Dylan. A small part of me wants him to find a way out of this, so that I can torture him, until he can’t take it anymore. He’ll beg me for death. I’ve always considered myself to be a survivor. To me life was hard, but with Jordan in my life, I can honestly say that I’ve never felt happier. I just hope that there’s not going to be a time that something comes around and pulls the rug out from beneath us.”

“While you were sleeping, I made a couple phone calls and I know that the horsemen are in town. Blake is considered the horsemen of death. He’ll be taking the lead on this. He was born a bred by his father to be a hunter. He translated that into doing the same thing against the human being. I don’t like to admit this, but he did teach me a couple of things that I have used in my own way. He’s not exactly easy to dodge. He’s tenacious. He’ll smell us on the wind like some sort of bloodhound. What we need to do is to stay close to Jamison, but they will be expecting that. I’ve heard that Jamison is holed up at his estate. They have asked him repeatedly to leave and go someplace a little less open, but he is adamant about staying.”

“We’ve come a long way. I don’t think either one of us wants to face Jamison after what we did. I don’t feel good about letting Melanie suffer. She treated me with kindness and there were days that her predecessor was more like a warden of a jail cell. I don’t think that she deserves her fate, but then again neither do we.”
I want him to know that I will face whatever comes our way. I may not have a lot of training, but I’ve been known to fight dirty when it matters the most. I came from an upbringing of class and sophistication, but outside my sheltered doors was the real world.”
Lila was dressed in a pair of jeans and a checkered shirt that was a little big for her frame, but she was making do with what she had found in the closet.

Whoever had lived here before moved out quickly and really didn’t stop to pack much of anything. It appeared that the only person that lived here was someone that was single. It was possible that they were squatting and had been made to leave by the authorities. They probably had a patrol go by every so often to make sure that the homeless didn’t think that this was easy pickings.

“What we need right now is a place that is pretty much in plain sight. I’m not going to leave and I know how much of a risk that is. We could run and tuck our tails between our legs, but I don’t think that’s how either one of us are built. I saw the way that you looked when you fired that shot at Dylan and shattered his knee. You left him with a permanent reminder. That must have given you a joy that you’ve never felt before” Jordan had shaved the stubble on his head down to the shadow that it was. He was letting his hair grow out on his face. He had used this technique in the past. The more facial hair that he had, the more likely he was able to change his appearance. He had several things for disguises, including different types of glasses and even a few very custom made wigs and hairpieces.

“I know what you’re going to say. You probably think that I will tell you that there’s no way that I’m going to cut my hair or change the color. You would be wrong on both accounts. If I have to change everything about myself, then you can be assured that I am willing and able to do that. I may seem weak, but I’ve only had to play that way for the sake of appearances. I do like our sex life and I would tell you otherwise. I just want to make it clear from the very beginning that I want the kind of wild untamed kind of sexual experience that I never got any place else. You do that for me and I hope that I do that for you.”
“I want him to say something, but I know that he holds his emotions deep inside. I’ve seen flickers of the man, but I’ve also seen that stare that comes from knowing that we’re going to be coming up against very bad people.

“I don’t want you to consider me a hero, because I don’t think that I could live with that kind of adoration. I’ve done things in the past that people would call me a monster for. I could have walked away at any time, but I never saw a reason to. I never wanted anything else and now you make me yearn for the simpler things.” Jordan felt like there was a piece missing. He wasn’t sure that he had the killer instinct anymore. He wanted to believe that he could turn it off and on like a light switch, but there was something inside of him that told him that all life was precious. It made him sick to think that Lila could do that to him. He didn’t know the half of it.

“I have something to tell you. I’ve been holding onto this for a little while and I just never saw the right time to tell you something that will change your life forever. Now that I’m standing in front of you, I really don’t know how to put what I want to say into words.” Instead of saying anything, she grabbed his hand and placed it up against her stomach. She saw the surprise in his eyes. She wasn’t sure if he was happy or angry or maybe a combination of both.

“I really don’t know what to say. I never had any need for family before. I don’t think that I can deal with this right now. I will tell you that I’m surprisingly happy about this. I can’t show it, because if I do, I will think that I’m going soft. I can’t have that right now, but you are protected. I will make sure that nothing happens to you and my child. If I had any doubts before about doing any of this, then you made that all vanish.” Jordan looked at her stomach and couldn’t even fathom that there would be a child of his growing inside. He wanted to ask her if she was sure, but her eyes told him everything that he wanted to know.

“I have never doubted your conviction for protecting me and I certainly don’t doubt it now that I have a child on the way. Like you, I’ve never known anything different. I thought for sure that I was going to live and die doing what I hated. I had thought about ending it all at the beginning, but then a remarkable strength came over me. I concentrated on my life and the revenge that I would take upon all those that had done me wrong. I still want that, but I want a family with you more. I kind of hate myself

for even thinking that it’s possible for us to have any kind of happy ending.”
“I should get rid of the baby and walk away, before it’s too late. I can live on my own hiding with the dregs of society that call the street their home. I could do that, but I’m not going to. I’d rather die with him in a blaze of Glory than to cower away from people that don’t deserve that kind of satisfaction.”

Jordan couldn’t tear himself away from touching her stomach. There was no indication that there was a baby pump, but it was still too early for anything like that to happen. He finally shook himself from the very thought of coming home to the woman that gave him the gift of a life inside of herself. He couldn’t say those three words, but he was starting to believe that it was going to happen sooner than later. He had a stash of weapons not too far away that he wanted to get his hands on. The horsemen would know about it, but that was something that he was going to have to risk.

“I need to go someplace and I would rather that you stay here. I know that you’re not going to and that separating is not an option. I would rather have you near me, than to worry about your safety. Like I said, the horsemen are not to be taken lightly. They work together and they have done so for years. Where others that work with a team would worry that they were going to find themselves on the receiving end of a blade up against their throat that was never the case with the horsemen. Their chemistry is better than any sports team. They practically know what each other is thinking. I’m going to need enough fire power to become an army of one. I will rain down hell on Jamison. I will take his horsemen and send them back to him in pieces.”

“I think that you’re starting to learn that we are in this together. It doesn’t matter that I’m pregnant. I don’t want you to treat me any differently. I know how difficult that is going to be for most men, but for you it might be different. Think of me as just another one of your soldiers.”
“Before I told him about the baby, he was teaching me a few basic moves to defend myself. It was all about repetitive motion. I was training my body to react a certain way. It’s kind of fascinating to see how his mind works. I watched the way that his body moved like it was separate from the rest of him.”

“We have procrastinated long enough. I would love to stay here with you and never think of anything, but you and the baby ever again. I’m only deluding myself and I think that I’m seeing how people get trapped and have only themselves to blame. I thought that people were weak minded, but maybe I was wrong. I never believed that I could have a connection with any one including my family. Jamison may have thought that I saw him, as a father figure, but I really didn’t. He was a necessary evil, but that evil needs to be excised. If I thought for a moment that he would let us leave unscathed and not hunted, then I would most likely let sleeping dogs lie. I’m going to have to go after him with everything I have.” They went outside and over to the car.

“Jordan, I can say that I’m not scared, but I’m just good at hiding it well.” She jumped back, as Jordan started to scream into the sky. He slammed his hand down onto the hood of the car and then started to punch it like it was his own personal punching bag. The only thing that Lila could do was stand there and wonder if he had lost his mind. “
I know that he’s been dealing with a lot, but I’m worried that his mind is not as sharp as I thought it was. I don’t want to do this alone and I don’t think that I could even if I wanted to. I need him and I need him to be the man that everybody fears. I can’t have him thinking like a father to be. He needs to separate all of that and become the weapon that he was honed into from the moment that he entered into the military”

“I’m only going to say this once. I don’t want to hear you say that you are scared of anything. You are stronger than that and they don’t give you enough credit. I will be honored to stand with you, even if we are gunned down in the street. I didn’t tell you this morning, but I found the way that you became a sponge with all the moves that I was teaching you to be almost symbiotic. You have this way of seeing things differently and you don’t allow that fear to weigh you down. Everybody is afraid of something and it’s that fear that makes us realize that we are alive. We stay that way, because it makes us alert and we don’t allow ourselves the luxury of cowering in a corner and rocking back and forth in the fetal position.” Jordan looked at his knuckles and saw that he had scraped them quite severely on the hood of the car. It was something that he was dealing with. He had bouts of anger that came over him in a rage. He didn’t know the cause, but he suspected that it had something to do with his childhood.

Chapter 2

“You won’t hear from my lips from this moment on about anything that pertains to me being scared. You’re right. We don’t have the time to dwell on these things. They won’t hesitate and we are going to have to be just as precise and deadly.
I see the way that he looks at me and I wonder why he thinks that I am that special. Nobody has ever treated me like he has. I never thought it was possible, but now that I’m standing here taking this step to my own liberation, I have to wonder what will be the ultimate price that I’m  going to have to pay. I know how to handle a knife, but not nearly as good as he does. He showed me a few moves and if I were to use the element of surprise, I might actually be able to hurt somebody quite severely.”

“We do this together and we make sure that we leave nobody standing. We have to burn his empire down to the ground and salt the earth afterwards. Nothing can be living and able to take the place to fill that vacuum. I think I knew deep down that this day would come. He has one son and one daughter. They cannot be allowed to even think about vengeance. The best way to avoid their wrath is to make sure that they are not breathing. We will start with his children and then we will set our sights on the man himself. He won’t think that I would have the gall to come after his family. He will believe that they were off limits, but to me they have always been fair game.” Jordan drove onto the road looking to his side and seeing that hard stare.

“I think that you should allow me to make the approach to his daughter Rebecca. I’m not sure how much she knows. I don’t think that she has been blind all this time. I know that she goes to the local university. I can use my charm to get her alone.” She couldn’t think of Rebecca, as anything other than an obstacle. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to kill her. I guess I’ll have to cross that bridge when I come to it.”
“I can feel the knife and I know that my hands are not going to remain clean for much longer. I’ve never killed anybody, but maybe shooting Dylan was a stepping stone in the right direction. I don’t want him to think that he has to protect me. I hate myself for even liking the fact that he wants to.”

Jordan was looking in his rearview mirror, making sure that there was no sign of any tail. He really couldn’t see anything. It appeared that they were still a couple of steps ahead of the horsemen. Jordan drove with both hands on the wheel. He had a plan. He would take everything away from Jamison piece by piece. His family would be the first targets. They may have seemed innocent, but he understood how Jamison worked. He would never allow his family to think of him, as anything but the ruthless mafia kingpin. He would want them to know their legacy, but he would keep them away from danger, until they were ready to pick up the mantle of responsibility.

Jordan didn’t realize that his hand had strayed over towards her. It was not in any way sexual. His hand rubbed her stomach and then he pulled it away like somebody had burned him with a hot poker. He couldn’t afford these kinds of distractions. He needed be focused and ready for anything. “I’m going to park the car a little ways away from the house. The family that lives there has no idea that I have a stash of weapons in a secret room in the basement. I’ve done my research and they should all be out of the house, until it’s time to come back to have supper together.” Jordan was using the GPS unit on his phone. He was starting to get used to all the apps. He had even become quite addicted to angry birds.