Broken (28 page)

That connection, how he
missed
it. He'd never found anything that had come anywhere close to bringing him the happiness, love, or sense of fulfillment that just one minute with her had given to him. Mad wasn't near good enough a word to describe what he'd become.

"I see," his gaze drifted to the balcony and the night beyond. "And it is only between vampires?"

"Yes, the bond is sealed with sex and an exchange of blood between the vampires. It is a soul deep connection that allows them to know where the other is at all times. It would be impossible for a vampire to have that with a human." Atticus could feel Merle's gaze burning into him. He turned his eyes away from the balcony and back to his cousin. "It was the exchange of blood between vampires and the bond he spoke of that made me begin to believe that it was true. It reminded me of you, and… Genny." He hesitated before saying her name this time, as if he feared that Atticus would come at him again.

He flinched inwardly, but he managed to keep his exterior completely impassive while inside he was a seething mass of turmoil and heartache. "I considered it, you know," Atticus told him. "I considered following her that night. Considered walking into the fires spreading through the village, but then I discovered Camille and I knew I had to get her to safety." He'd become so adept at lying that it rolled easily off of his tongue now.

"And you did get her to safety."

"So I did and as you can see, I'm still alive and I'm not crazy. Perhaps this bloodlink does exist but it seems it has been exaggerated, as have most things throughout the years. Or maybe it is not what Genny and I shared." More lies woven over top of lies but as Merle continued to stare at him Atticus willed him to buy this lie. Merle finally dropped his gaze to the table.

"It's an interesting concept though," Merle murmured. "One that I think has effected you."

"Perhaps it has, but who is to know for certain." He almost reiterated that he was sane but he bit his tongue, there was such a thing as protesting too much. It would be safer to steer this conversation to a different topic. "How long will you be staying?"

Merle leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. "I don't think being so close to the woman that I am separating from is a good idea right now, even if it is under amicable terms," he said with a laugh.

"No I suppose not," Atticus agreed. "Where will you go now?"

"I think I shall return to Spain for a bit. I enjoy the weather there."

"Not England?" he inquired in a teasing tone that he didn't feel.

Merle snorted and finished off his wine. "Never again if I can help it."

"I must agree," Atticus said and clinked his goblet against Merle's.

Though I played it off Genny, I do believe that what he spoke of is true. That this mystical bloodlink is in fact what bonded the two of us together. We should have left for the new world sooner. If I had only known what was unfolding between us, if I'd only done more. We'd have been so happy together, our lives so different, our children so loved. Instead, you are gone and I have become a monstrosity.

***

January 31
st
, 1550

My dearest Genny,

Anna suffered another miscarriage today. I've grown tired of the charade. There is no reason for me to continue to touch the woman when it has become apparent that she is just as unable to provide children as her sister is. I've lost count of the children we've lost over the past years, perhaps she knows.

Unfortunately, though I would give anything to stop crawling into her bed, the pretense must be kept up. I need her family for my future plans. I need her for my future plans and there is no way to break free of her. Not now anyway, one day though, one day it will all be over.

May, 1
st
, 1727,

My dearest Genny,

Yet again instead of standing up for ourselves, The Council has decided that the best course of action is for us to flee the continent during this time of bitter turmoil. Stray vampires, who have since been caught and punished for their perfidy, started a panic that has spread beyond the normal borders of the town, or even the country, where the main problem originated.

It started in seventeen twenty-one in East Prussia and though we thought that problem had been stamped out these foolish and pathetic humans worked themselves into a frenzy. Rumors spread like wild fire, villages have been burned, and most of them were not even vampire villages. Though they did succeed in taking three of our locations out.

What we thought was contained has now spread to the Habsburg Monarchy and invaded the land there. This time they succeeded in killing off at least fifty vampires and sending The Council and vampires throughout the continent into a tumult the likes of which I've never seen before. This is almost my opportunity. There are enough vampires that are incensed by the way we have been treated that they might make an attempt at a stand, but though I'm chomping at the bit to crush the throat of mankind, even I must admit that the time is still not right.

We are too scattered right now. Vampires are fleeing from all across the continent and the English Isles. They are running from Asia, India, Africa and Australia even though the human panic has not spread as far as those distant lands. They are not willing to take the chance that the panic won't spread through there and are abandoning their homes.

Thousands of vampires are boarding ships and heading to the new world, a place that will hopefully offer us some protection from the complete idiocy of the human race.

My ship leaves tomorrow; we will set sail in the morning. I'm curious to see what this new world will bring to our kind.

To see what it would have offered to us.

***

August, 30
th
, 1727,

My dearest Genny,

We arrived in a place called Boston today. Though we were not the first vampires to step forth on the land, we are amongst the first settlers of our kind. This land reminds me of many other places I've been, mostly in England, but they say the land beyond is still unsettled and savage. We will be pushing inward to discover these wild lands tomorrow.

***

November 15
th
, 1727,

My dearest Genny,

This is a land we could have settled in, lost ourselves within, and built a magnificent life here. It would have been challenging, it is already far colder in these mountains than anything I am used to, but we have established a settlement that should see us through the winter. You would have loved it amongst these mountains. You could have run around barely dressed wherever you chose with no one to stumble across you.

The indigenous people in this land welcomed us on the first day but we've seen little of them since. I don't know how but I think they understood what the other humans don't; we are not to be trifled with. The people that were here before us are strange humans with darker skin, but not quite as dark as Khalfan's. They move amongst the wilderness with a grace and ease that almost reminds me of a vampire. They were born to this savage land and they thrive amongst it, as will we.

They're also a good food supply. No matter how well adept they are at using their bows, arrows, and spears I am still able to hunt them. There are also plenty of wild animals here, more than I ever could have imagined. Yes we would have made a fine home and fresh start here, no one ever would have found us amongst the trees and mountains of this foreign land.

It is also a much better place to make a stand against the humans than Europe would have been. This is where it was all supposed to have started for us, and it will be where it will all end for them.

***

December 15
th
, 1787,

My dearest Genny,

It appears that the humans have decided to name this land where we have settled Pennsylvania. I was informed of this today by a young man named Gideon. Though I suppose by humans standards he is no longer young. He has become friendly with Braith and I see them together often talking over wine and sneaking off to be with women. I do not trust Gideon, there is something about him I don't like, but then I don't like anyone anymore.

No matter what I have done, or continue to do to show them the truth, I still see this belief that the world is good and full of promise in both Braith and Jericho. Most fear Caleb and Natasha, I watch them with an air of amusement as the servants scurry out of their way and even vampires step hurriedly aside when they walk by. I watch the way they torment others and see the twisted version of me within them when I stare into their eyes. It's as if the worst parts of me somehow passed into those two. I am well aware of the fact that Caleb has tortured and slaughtered more than a few of the indigenous inhabitants of this land, but he is careful about disposal and who am I to take the pleasure from him? I find my own release that way too.

Sometimes I think that the good in Braith and Jericho came from their mother. She may be as boring as dirt with the personality of a board, but she is a kind woman and people and vampires respond well to her. I try to tell myself that their good is from her but I know the truth. I see the me that I used to be, all those hundreds of years ago in them, especially in Jericho.

He has that carefree air I'd once possessed. That easy grin and who gives a care attitude that drove me to the clubs and to party all those nights away with Merle. It's funny how clearly I can remember those long ago days with Merle, and you. Yet the many that have passed since then are nothing but a blur. I wouldn't be able to differentiate one day from another if it wasn't for these daily writings to you.

Yes, Jericho was the me I was as a youth, teen, and man. I've tried to change it in him, but I see the way that grin makes the girls smile, and his complete indifference towards anything political. Braith is different, he is kind, I see it in the way he treats people. The women also like him but where Jericho makes them laugh and melts them with his whispered words, Braith has only to sit there and they go to him. I am no fool, the power radiates from him. Caleb is the one that will help me destroy the world, but Braith is the one that inherited the full power of my bloodline.

Braith is caring but he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, and as he has gotten older, he has become more distant and less carefree. Perhaps, it is the weight of my world he carries upon his shoulders that has made him more reserved over the years. I am the one trying to make him the leader that he has to become one day. Though sometimes I feel like I am failing.

I've looked for Camille since arriving in this land but I've yet to see her. I don't know what I would do if I did stumble upon her one day. I don't think I could handle it. I can only hope she escaped the persecution of the continent but I feel as if I will never know the answer to that. I chose to believe she is as alive and happy as Merle claimed her to be when he last saw her.

Merle left again yesterday. The Council has sent him out to explore this vast land and see what it has to offer; though I think most vampires are content to stay in this area. It is safe amongst these mountains; there is enough food for us all, but not enough humans that they are a threat to us. There are other vampire colonies throughout this vast land, but I do believe this is where The Council will keep its base of power.

***

July 12, 1861

My dearest Genny,

With the way these humans carry on they won't have to worry about us hiding amongst them, living off of them, and destroying them. They've started a war amongst themselves and seem hell bent on destroying each other. I cannot understand how they believe that the color of a man's skin somehow makes them inferior, but that is what they are fighting over now. One day they will learn that they are all inferior. That there is a master race out there that doesn't care about color or sexual preference, all we care about is what runs through their veins.

Though I must admit that the idea of keeping them in chains is enticing, and something to be considered for the future.

The best thing about the war is that Anna's father was killed when a stray bullet took his horse out from underneath him. He was pinned beneath the horse for three days before anyone discovered him; both his legs and neck had been snapped during the accident. If it had only been one leg and his neck, he may have been able to survive it, or if he had been found sooner maybe he could have been saved. I wouldn't have gone out of my way to do it though. As it was, he bled out from the bones piercing his skin, before his body could heal the multiple injuries he had sustained.

***

April 3
rd
, 1974,

My dearest Genny,

I've started building a palace fit for a king, the time for war is nearing and a strong base of power will be needed when the war begins. It will be a center of control and it will be a place not easily conquered. The weapons these humans have invented over these recent years have made it so it will be possible to take them down. They once feared us enough to burn innocent people and yet they have built bombs strong enough to wipe out entire cities in one fell swoop. It only confirms my conviction that they must be destroyed before they take all of us out with their insane ways.

Merle has also returned for good now, or so The Council has decided. With all of the changes that have been rendered over the world in the last fifty years, they have decided it is better for the vampires to be banded closer together. You wouldn't recognize this world anymore Genny, there have been more changes in these past fifty years than there were for hundreds of years at a time. I think you would have enjoyed many of the new discoveries and inventions that have come out.

I just have to find the right time, the right moment to set off the spark of war, but I feel it is coming soon. I finally feel as though everything I've been plotting is going to reach its cataclysm and I must be prepared. The palace will be hidden within these mountains with enough security around it to prevent any humans from discovering it, and if they do, they won't be walking away.

There will be a garden in the palace and a fountain. I never thought that I would have cared about decorating and for the most part, I don't. Anna will be deciding what to do with the rest of the place, but the garden is mine, or more yours. I've had a fountain made especially in memory of you though no one will know that but me. The fountain will be for us, and what never was, but should have been. Those gardens will be as beautiful as you were to me. The fountain will be a constant reminder of what I can never have again and of what I must do.

The palace will be my main residence. Some of the aristocracy will reside in the homes being built within the solid outer walls. It is my money that is going into building the palace, but if they want the security of the massive walls they will pay a price for it, their loyalty being number one and their coin being number two.

Though The Council still rules, things are beginning to shift. Khalfan was killed yesterday when his car crashed over the side of a cliff and burst into flames. The fire could be seen from miles away, there was nothing left to his body but bones when he was pulled from the wreckage. It is assumed that his brakes failed. I know that is what occurred but I'm also aware it was no accident. Sacrifices must be made for the greater good.

With his death, I am now the oldest living vampire. They all look to me now. Yes Genny, the power is definitely shifting.

His son, Xavier, has stepped up to take his father's place as a history keeper. There is something about the way Xavier looks at me that is even more unnerving than his father's steadfast gaze had been. He's far more reserved than his father too and much more of a watcher than his father was. Sometimes I think he sees the real me. Sometimes I even think that I might actually like to be seen for once. I'd like to have someone acknowledge the vast pit of nothing within me, to have someone else see my misery.

***

January 12
th
, 2061,

My dearest Genny,

Anna came to me today to inform me she is pregnant again. I wonder if this one will be viable, and if it is, I wonder if she thinks that I am a fool. I laid with her once in the timespan that would have created the child but it's been years since I spilled my seed in the woman. No matter how I much I pictured you, and the fact that I stopped allowing her to even touch me years ago, I still couldn't bring myself to the point of completion with her.

I'll admit this only to you, but I think my inability to finish with her is because I knew I could not kill her after. That is the real joy in the act to me now, the death that accompanies it, and not the actual act itself.

It will be interesting to see if she will finally be able to carry this one to term. Perhaps it is my poisonous seed that her body has been rejecting these many years. I certainly wouldn't blame her body if it was.

***

August 5
th
, 2061,