Broken Glass

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places,

and
incidents either are products of the author’s imagination

or
are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons,

living
or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

TRFreeman
, LLC.

Printed in the United States of America

Preface

             
“Why do you want to live?”

             
Wow
. Wasn’t prepared for that one. I could’ve handled a “How are you feeling today?” or maybe a “How do you think you’ll be spending your time once you’re back at home?”

             
But this?

             
“Why do you want to live?”

             
I took a moment to collect my thoughts. My answer had to be a good one, after all. Everything depended on this. Four-hundred days depended on this. My freedom depended on this.
Everything
depended on this one question.

             
I thought about how Henry would answer. He’d probably just smile, shrug his shoulders, and answer the question with a question, like, “Why do any of us want to live?”

             
I thought about how Aurelia would answer. “So that I
can become addicted to the worst kind of drug
and eat raw
road kill
,” I could hear her saying in that dark, smart-ass tone she was infamous for.

             
And then, my thoughts went to Tyson. How would he have answered such a question?

             
“Why wouldn’t I?” he’d probably say. “Life’s a garden. Just dig it.”

             
But this wasn’t about Tyson, or Henry, or Aurelia, or anybody else, for that matter. This was about
me
. God, I really needed some chocolate milk. This was possibly the most important day of my life and all I had to do was answer one simple question! What the hell was wrong with me?

             
Well, in all honesty, it could take quite a few years to answer that last quip. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

It was December …
almost the beginning of a new year. A new life. 

My name is Ava Darton. I was twenty-three years old. For one year, one month, and five days I had been under the supervision and care of Craneville Psychiatric Hospital in Constantine, Virginia. Ward 4. Room 316.

             
Let me rewind even further. Imagine, if you will, my life as an old VHS movie. You push the rewind button on the TV VCR remote. You need to see things from the beginning, as you do with every other movie, for anything to make sense. You watch as blurs of colors and distorted images flash in front of your eyes on the television screen. Everything is going backwards.
People, places, cars, smiles, tears, flowers, everything is rewinding in its path. Time is going backwards. Memories become present events and future unknowns. Time is at your own disposal, going in reverse just by the push of a button on a remote control. The past is now.

             
Welcome to my own insanity.

             
For four-hundred days and then some, my reality was nothing but those blurred images of color on that imaginary VHS you’re watching. How does someone become this way?  How does an average, everyday girl become a nutcase?

             
It’s time to press play. Be warned that sometimes, the tracking is a little bit fuzzy, the sound distorts, and the image colors are a little off.

Let’s begin.

             
Hello. My name is Ava Darton. And I flew over the cuckoo’s nest when I was just a senior in high school.
This is my story.

Tyson

The first time I ever met Tyson, I knew I would fall in love with him. It was a ridiculous notion, particularly because of the fact that a.) I was only eighteen and b.) I’d always been nauseated by the mere thought of “love at
first sight” and really romance in general
. But I guess it’s just one of those things that you have to experience for yourself before you really, truly know that it exists.

             
Tyson and I were introduced in the weirdest setting. I was on the school newspaper, and my assignment as an amateur journalist was to take some pictures of the high school chorus performing at the local church.  After I’d gotten my necessary photographs, the middle school chorus began to perform. I didn’t particularly want to stay and watch them sing, but I didn’t want to be rude and just walk down the middle of the church to the exit, either. My solution was to try to sneak out unnoticed. The only exit door that was unlocked was the one I was trying to avoid, so I decided to just climb out the window in the back of the church. I was sure no one would notice.

I ended up falling out of the window and into the church shrubbery, dropping my camera in the process. The camera popped open when it hit the ground and the film came out, exposing every picture I’d taken.

             
“Damn it
!” I hissed under my breath, scrambling out of the bushes.

             
“Are you okay?”
I heard from across the
churchyard. I looked up and saw three guys about my age standing on the walkway leading down to the church.

             
“Yeah,” I called back and picked up my camera and the ruined film. My friends Cas
sie and Emily came outside then—
though they’d used the door instead of the window.

“You climbed out
of
the window?”
Cassie asked me with a loud laugh.

             
“I
fell
out
of
the window,” was my reply. “And I nearly
died.” That was my personality—
exaggerating the facts for the sole purpose of humor.

             
“Jake!” Emily suddenly yelled to the guys across the street, waving.

             
“Hey!” One of the guys yelled back to her and then all three began making their way across the street.

             
“Well, isn’t that just awesome that they’re coming over here,” I mumbled to Cassie as I dusted the dewy grass off of the knee of my jeans. “They saw me fall out of the damn window.”

             
“Ava, it’s bad to swear at a church,” Cassie told me, grinning nevertheless.

             
“Jake, how are you?” Emily asked, giving the tallest guy a hug. Emily knew everybody. Not just in our county, but also in every surrounding county.

             
“This is Cassie and Ava,” Emily said then, pulling away from Jake and introducing him to us. “Jake goes to Constantine. He played in the all-stars baseball team with Jeremy.” Jeremy was Emily’s brother.

“Hey,” Jake said, nodding at us. “That’s Grant and that’s Tyson.”

             
Cassie and I greeted them with
“
hi’s
”
in unison.

             
“What are you doing in Marcher?” Emily asked him then.

             
“Oh, Tyson’s sister is
in the middle school chorus,” Jake replied. “We were just watching her and then we were gonna head over to your house, actually, and hang out with Jeremy for a while.”

             
“Do you go to Constantine High School?” Emily asked Tyson. He nodded.

             
“Yeah, I just moved down here with my dad,” he told her, but I noticed he kept glancing over at me, too.

             
“Your sister doesn’t go to Constantine Middle School?” I spoke up, confused at why his sister was in the Marcher Middle School chorus if he lived in Constantine.

             
“No
,” he answered, his eyes
on just me
now. “She lives here in Marcher
with my mom. Me and my dad just moved down here to Constantine so we could see my mom and sister more.”

             
“You’re parents are divorced?” I asked.

             
“Yeah,” he answered. Suddenly, I wanted to know everything about him. I wanted to know every thought going on behind those incredible blue eyes of his. That’s what first stood out so strongly to me. His eyes. They were absolutely the most intriguing pair of eyes I’d ever seen in my life.

             
Emily began
a conversation with Jake again—
I can’t even remember what was sa
id. I wasn’t really listening as
much as observing Tyson. Dark brown hair that was short and messy, blue jeans, a poofy, dark green coat, and blue tennis shoes. His hands were stuck snugly in his blue jean pockets and everything about him made it hard for me not to stare.

             
“So I hope you’re all right,” Jake suddenly said to me. I had to snap back to attention and managed a small laugh.

             
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I said, smiling slight
ly. “But I’m a little mad
about my camera. All my pictures for the school newspaper were on that film and now it’s all ruined. I’m shit out of luck.”

             
Cassie sniggered and Emily rolled her eyes.

             
“Ava, you’re going to Hell for cussing at church, y’know?” Emily said then. The guys laughed.

             
“I’m not inside the church,” I argu
ed, chuckling.

             
“Are you a senior?” Tyson asked me suddenly.

             
“Yeah,” I answered, glad for hav
ing a reason to
focus on him again. “You?”

             
“Yeah,” he said. “Hey, are the middle schoolers performing yet?”

             
“They just started,” I told him.

             
“Oh,” he said. “I better get in there…”

             
“Yeah, and I should go shoot myself in the face for falling out of that window and ruining my film,” I muttered. Tyson laughed.